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Advice please.
11-02-2005, 03:19 AM
Post: #1
Advice please.

To cut a long story short, there is a woman on another site i post on who burst on the scene offering sex to anyone who wanted it, webcam boob flashes, offering her mobile phone number and relating detailed sexual activities on the main forum.

She very quickly changed to admitting self harm, of being sexually abused, and wanting to kill herself.

Having talked to her on messenger i managed to convince her to stop posting all the sex stuff, and managed to get her to go and see a counsellor today.
She only told the counsellor about her problems at work today(bullying etc) , but i have told her that she must tell everything next week in her next meeting.

From what i can gather she was abused by her step brother from an early age until she left home at 16,(she is now 28) her mother knew about it and didn't care.
She took an overdose last year and is still harming herself, i think i managed to stop that for tonight anyway.
Apart from encouragement and friendship when she needs it what else can i do?
I believe her by the way and unlike some who take the **** do not think she is an attention seeking whore.
I really do not want to do or say the wrong thing with her.
Thoughts?


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11-02-2005, 08:11 AM
Post: #2
Advice please.
My thoughts are that if you start MSN messengering someone like that you are likely to end up getting in far too deep.

Why would you contact someone like this in the first place? Is it because she was offering sex? Or is it perhaps the idea of playing saviour? Whatever the reason, I'd say be wary before getting too involved with someone you have come across on a chat site.

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11-02-2005, 08:12 AM
Post: #3
Advice please.
I think on reflection I would have to agree with SF's advice. Be wary of getting involved to deeply. Your advice so far has been sound, about seeking help and talking to a counsellor, but thats as far as I would go secrets.
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11-02-2005, 08:40 AM
Post: #4
Advice please.
I would have to agree with the others, Secrets. Stay well clear. This woman could be anyone, I would not get involved. I have a friend who got involved with one serious messed up lady through a chat-room, his life is in complete ruins because of her.

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11-02-2005, 08:47 AM
Post: #5
Advice please.
My initial instincts say back off at 100 miles an hour........that sounds really cruel I know, but if you dont know this woman do you really want to be landed with her and her problems - self harmers are hard work, I have dealt with them during my work with Drug Users and an aquaintance that was a regular self harmer actually succeeded in killing herself a few years ago.......


As for meeting in chat rooms - well, I cant knock that can I - thats how I met Mr Q in the 1st place, so it aint all bad - just be VERY VERY careful!!!!

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11-02-2005, 08:50 AM
Post: #6
Advice please.
Queeenie Wrote:As for meeting in chat rooms - well, I cant knock that can I - thats how I met Mr Q in the 1st place, so it aint all bad - just be VERY VERY careful!!!!

Did anyone give poor old Mr Q this warning I wonder! :naughty: :laugh:

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11-02-2005, 08:51 AM
Post: #7
Advice please.
Sounds like a clever, manipulative scam to me. Sorry, but that is definitely my first impression.

Does your wife know about her and your conversations with her? (Rhetorical question.) If so, beyond that, all I would advise is either gently to break contact, or to proceed with extreme caution.

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11-02-2005, 08:53 AM
Post: #8
Advice please.
[QUOTE=Blink]Sounds like a clever, manipulative scam to me. Sorry, but that is definitely my first impression.
[quote]

I would say that is the most likely case too.


btw - Secrets you do join the strangest forums don't you!!! :ninja:- aside from this one of course! Smile

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11-02-2005, 09:09 AM
Post: #9
Advice please.
Secrets, I just wanted to say how much I admire you for caring about this woman and for trying to help her.

I know the advice from the other guys is sound, but there is a real chance that she is genuinely going to harm herself, and you may her only outlet at the moment.

I agree that you should keep her at arm's length and point her towards trained professionals, but I just thought how brave of you, to get involved when everyone else would have run a mile.

Well done you.


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11-02-2005, 09:12 AM
Post: #10
Advice please.
Dolores Wrote:Did anyone give poor old Mr Q this warning I wonder! :naughty: :laugh:

:laugh: :devil: nah, and the poor devil is stuck with me now!!!!!!

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