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Am I soft?
09-10-2005, 02:11 AM
Post: #1
Am I soft?

Just sitting here mulling over the 4 days I had with my internet friend in Devon and, as I said on the "What are you doing tonight" thread, I did have a lovely time and they made me so welcome and relaxed but far from raiding her stuff I think I overpaid my way. :unsure:

Knowing they were smokers and not being able to carry flowers or a bottle on the train I bought them 40 cigarettes each and gave them when I arrived.

Then the first night I got there (wednesday) we were going to have fish and chips (ok by me) but we came back from taking the dog out and I got in the car, leaving my bag behind. When we got to the chippy my friend didn't have any cash, only a credit card. I felt really embarrassed at the time that I hadn't got any money on me cos I would have paid. The chippy didn't accept cards so we ended up with chinese (2 meals between 3 that cost her £10.50).

Next day we went out and stopped in a Cafe at lunchtime for coffee and scones which I paid for. We then went to the Supermarket and she said she would get some Wine to have with dinner. I said I would get it and she pointed out a special offer of 3 bottles for £10, so I bought those! For dinner she cooked sausage, egg, bacon and tomatoes! (She'd made sandwiches when we got back in the afternoon so I wasn't all that hungry).

Friday we stopped for coffee in a cafe and I paid (she did protest but I insisted). I'd said I would take them out for a meal in the evening too but her hubby wasn't feeling too good with his arthritis so we had a take-away Indian (£25 which I paid for).

Also, while we were shopping she picked up a set of Dove toiletries and said how much she liked it. I said I liked it too but there was no price on it so I took it to the check out and it was £8. She said "Oh that's a bit expensive" so I just bought it as if it was for me and left it with a thankyou card in my room when I left.

Now this is what I'm a bit miffed about. She knew I'd done my bedroom out in lilac and she showed me a white duvet cover with lilac squares on it. It was all folded up and she said she'd only used it a couple of times and was thinking of putting it on ebay so I said I would buy it off her. There were also 3 little embroidered decorative cushion covers that went with it. Anyway, she got sort of embarrassed and said she wouldn't know what to charge so I left it at that.

When I was all packed and ready to go she said "you might as well take that duvet set, would £30 be OK?" To be honest I was a bit stunned because I could have got a new one for that but I was too embarrassed to say that I thought it was too much and she made it sound like she was letting it go cheap so I swallowed hard and wrote out a cheque.

The awful thing is, now I've got it home and opened it out it looks quite used and there are 3 tiny holes (like burn marks) on one edge, a stain on one corner and one of the pillowcases looks like it's been washed with something dark and is completely off colour!! I feel such a fool cos I think I more than paid my way for what was basically 2 days (the other 2 being spent travelling).

It's such a shame because they were such lovely people but I do feel a bit upset by the duvet incident. What do you think? I'm sure she didn't realise about the holes, the stain and the pillowcase, but even without that I still think it was overpriced.

It isn't as if they are hard up either.

By the way Mazz, if you read this, I told Mr C that she gave it to me so don't mention it in front of him Blush

She sent me a lovely email saying what a pleasure it had been having me and that her husband had taken quite a shine to me because he said I'm not a sponger like some of the people they've had staying with them. :unsure:

And no, I won't be introducing her to SO. I've got to have somewhere for my "private" moans Wink
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09-10-2005, 04:16 AM
Post: #2
Am I soft?
my dad has a saying about me and I'm going to apply it to you Crit....

You're too generous for your own good!

... i only came online to visit Delia's site for tips on how to season a frying pan ...
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09-10-2005, 07:00 AM
Post: #3
Am I soft?
Crit.....come visit me in the new year....I wont charge you a bean as you will be my guest! Mind you, you may have to come out for a drink or two with Dolores and I to the local Wetherpoons...we like to go and chat up the grungey old men! Smile

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09-10-2005, 07:27 AM
Post: #4
Am I soft?
Dolores Wrote:You're too generous for your own good!

I agree with Dol, Crit you are to generous for your own good!
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09-10-2005, 08:08 AM
Post: #5
Am I soft?
Saying that, it is a lovely trait to have in world where one often meets people like your friends who take everything that is offered with no embarrasment at all.
You could have come to Dublin with us for what you spent. Big Grin
(And i think you were had with the 'holey' duvet.)


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09-10-2005, 08:30 AM
Post: #6
Am I soft?
Re the duvet set, I think you should tell your friend you have changed your mind - it doesn't work in your bedroom, you'd like your money back. If that's too devious for your liking, tell her the truth. Admittedly it's an awkward position, but a deal is a deal whether it's with an acquaintance or a stranger. if you'd bougtht the item on ebay you'd be asking for your money back like a shot by the sounds of it.

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09-10-2005, 09:14 AM
Post: #7
Am I soft?
I agree with Swerve but would be a bit more tactile, or lie basically.

Can you say that it dosn't fit - you have a superking size or maybe Mr C picked a nice set up whilst you were away and you don't want to offend him.

It's a bit difficult though isn't it as Duvetgate has marred your stay really, what ever you do.

Did you wear any of her clothes by the by?
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09-10-2005, 09:28 AM
Post: #8
Am I soft?
I think returning the duvet, asking for your money back, however well you cover it with subtle lies is just heaping embarrassment on top of embarrassment Crit. Yes you were over-generous, yes you've been had, but I don't imagine your friend did it with any malicious intention - she probably just didn't realise.

I'd forget about it and put it behind you. Hey, perhaps you can sell the duvet on E-bay although I don't think you'll get any takers here now you've told us it's full of holes and covered in stains Smile
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09-10-2005, 09:43 AM
Post: #9
Am I soft?
I was going to say similar to Nox. Realistically, it is going to be hugely embarrassing for both you and your friend - and being a soft hearted lady that is going to cause too much stress to you.

Put it down to experience.

Try it on ebay - if it doesn't sell - you could cut it up into dusters, and you need never buy another duster/floor cloth/car cloth etc as long as you live. Smile

I always cook with wine, and sometimes I actually put it in the food.
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09-10-2005, 11:24 AM
Post: #10
Am I soft?
You're all right, of course. I would be asking for a refund on ebay but to do so would cause more embarrassment than it's worth. I've seen new duvets on ebay for far less than that and I wouldn't have the cheek to put it on myself cos it doesn't sound too good does it, "used, with holes and stains" :unsure: I wouldn't offer £5 for it and I've noticed "used" bedding doesn't go down very well anyway. Oh well, another expensive mistake - I could be a "mil-yon-aire Rodney" if I wasn't so stupid with money.

As for trying on her clothes the phrase "quart into a pint pot" comes to mind Blush me being a very rotund size 18 and her a sylph-like size 12 :angry:

Still, I've cheered myself up with the fact that I was very unhappy with the haircut I had before I went and she, having had some hairdressing training when she was young, gave me a lovely trim up and I'm really pleased with it so a haircut and a duvet set thrown in for £30 - bargain eh? :laugh:

By the way, couldn't do the "husband" excuses cos I'd already told her that I wouldn't be telling him that I'd bought yet another duvet cos he thinks I'm bedding mad as it is - lol.
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