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Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
07-06-2005, 10:05 PM
Post: #1
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05

Not sure if anyone is still reading these, but Ill post tonights anyway...
Firstly, what on earth was Kelly Brook wearing ??? A pink mac for goodness sakes - was she expecting a monsoon? [Image: confused.gif]

In the opening scenes of CLI tonight, we saw a visibly gutted Abi bemoaning the fact that the "public obviously hate me, but Im just being me, and so basically Im f**ked arent I?"
Then claiming she wasnt really that bothered. (I fully expected her to go into the catherine tate schoolgirl act, at this point, "duz this face look bovvereddddddd???" )

Lee and and Nikki the Narcoleptic went into the Love Shack and errrrm "settled in".

Paul was acting as if the love of his life for the last five years had just been taken away from him, prompting Calum to point out, "relax man, youve only known her for a couple of days..."

Cue a crestfallen Danan yawping a load of crap in the Beach Hut about how he just looked at her and "connected" with her, that he really feels he could make a go of this relationship. To be honest Im sure that (1) Nikki would be bemused and then horrified to hear this and (2) he sounds like a bloody stalker !!!

Then we see them sat around the dinner table in the evening with one of the lads teasing Abi saying she looks like Vanessa Feltz (but fatter, obviously [Image: tongue.gif] ), when suddenly Rebecca lets out a right ripper of a fart, to the amazement of the others and to Rebeccas embarrassment. Calum makes a snide comment and then later the next day tells Paul (the biggest blabbermouth in the world [Image: rolleyes.gif] ) that he thinks Rebecca is a bit of a tomboy and he was going off her.

To be fair, this ten day tryst with Loos is probably the longest relationship that Calum the Manslut has ever had....

A small competition takes place (sorry I cant be arsed to explain what it was), the outcome is that two of the group will be going off to another island for the day and it is - Isabella and Paul.

Isabella looks like shes just been told she will be spending the next 12 hours with Jack the Ripper, but good on her, she gets angry and tells the others that she is going to tell him EXACTLY what she thinks of him.

Paul tries to intimidate her again, (notice he does it in the bedroom where no one can hear him trying to bully her), but Bella walks off.

Paul then has the cheek to ask her not to make life difficult on the boat or the trip (Jeeeeeeeeez).

On the boat trip to the island, Isabella lets rip at Paul and REFUSES to be intimidated by the little scum sucking gob****e, despite his very very aggressive body language. His main course of defence is simply repeating what Isabella is telling him and throwing it back in her face.

Her tirade is absolutely brilliant and for ONCE she manages to string two words together (well, actually MORE than two)and make sense, and actually get the point over to the terminally dense Danan.

She said :-

"I would never want to be with a guy like you. You are in love with yourself. Everybody on that island thinks you are a total tosser because of what you have done to me," she says.
Paul: "We are just mates and you can't accept it. You are just jealous."

Isabella fires back: "You are the one who has been coming on to me for the past three weeks and you couldn't handle the fact that I only wanted friendship. I'm not jealous, I don't care any more. I don't want you as a friend now.

"You know how I felt. I told you how I felt. You only think about your feelings, not my feelings. Get over yourself. Get a life. All you've done since you got to the island is upset people and all I have done is be a friend. You have just taken, taken, taken. There are takers and givers in life and you are a ****ing taker.

"You led me on. You are very fickle and false. Everything you told me is bull****. You have no respect for anyone. You need to get a life. I was the only person who helped you through your drinking problems. I would never want to be with a guy like you. You are too up yourself.

"I have been a great friend to you. I have been the best friend you could have on that island."

Trying desperately to defend himself, Paul counters: "I haven't done anything to you; we weren't going out together. I fancy someone else and you are all upset about it. We weren't together girl. I don't fancy you; get over it."

Isabella: "You should have some ****ing respect. Get out of my face. I wasted a lot of time and energy over you. I need a man. You are a boy."

Paul says: "For three weeks you had a chance."

He then calls Isabella frigid before shouting 'Shut your ****ing mouth' and turning away. The former friends spend the rest of the journey in silence.

The snide comments continue on the beach. One of the tasks consists of them having to make a raft as a team, but Bella ends up doing it on her own. Then the bombshell is dropped on them; they are to spend the night on the island.

(at this point, I wouldve started swimming - in any direction).

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the Sharpster looks like has been stunned with a cattle prod as the terminally dull Nikki tells him about her little dog, who, when she looks into his eyes, she swears she loves him as much as if she had given birth to him.....

Yes. It was THAT bad.

Mercifully she drinks a couple of glasses of wine and does what she does best. Goes to sleep on the bed, leaving the Sharpester to sit and ponder before deciding to make a run for it along the beach.

The rest of the group are sitting chatting when suddenly The caped sharpster appears in their midst! Much screaming and laughing; Shabi Titmuff jumps up and wraps her legs around him, and he is obviously so pleased to see them all, yelling "She went to bloody sleep at quarter past nine !!!!!" [Image: eek.gif]

Later when Abi is twittering in the Beach Hut, the Sharpster is outside shouting to her. He later said that it was killing him that Abi was in there and he was outside. He really seems enamoured !!!

Finally we were asked to text in to see if Abi could go into the love shack or should Nikki stay.

Personally I want Nikki out asap for the simple reason that I think Calum Best will start hitting on her. Once that starts happening, Paul Danan - the scum sucking mollusc of sex pest - will be history !!!!

Im bound to have missed some stuff out, apologies if I have folks
[Image: smile.gif] xx

Liking the cut of your jib.........[Image: aniburns.gif]
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08-06-2005, 06:07 AM
Post: #2
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
I'm still reading it Pandy Poo
...I would pay to infact. Keep it up.

Danon is seriously making me sick now....I just hope this all ends in total humiliation for him....being booted off. I think Isobella kept her dignity with aplomb on the deserted island, just getting on with the task...Danan again showed what a total tosser he is. That man is going to be so despised when he comes out.

We need Nikki out of the shack and into the group where we can watch her interact with the others...and their reactions of her. I did start to feel quite sorry for her a one point, but as long as her hair and makeup are ok I don't think she gives a tinkers toss what others think of her.

Rebecca is getting the boot isn't she. She seems to be getting darker, uglier and more lipless as each day passes - not suprised the manslut is going off her...he's bound to make a play for Nikki, he won't be able to help himself.

Finally Kelly. Does no one advise this girl on her stylee, she looked a right tw@t in her pink buckled long sleeved raincoat.....on a beach in scorching heat. Her dress sense has been so wrong...its a beach Kelly, less makeup, natural hair, sarongs, little tshirts...floppy hats maybe. NOT..plastic 60's stylee makeup in vibrant colours and dark eyeliner, hair styled and heavily hairsprayed...super high heels. PATRICK>>>AVE A WORD. Then again she is one of the producers so I dont' think anyone dare.

There I feel better now....roll on tonight.
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08-06-2005, 06:49 AM
Post: #3
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
Pandora Wrote:Not sure if anyone is still reading these

I am as well! Even though I am not watching this, I am loving your reviews, keep em coming! Big Grin
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08-06-2005, 06:50 AM
Post: #4
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
I'm still reading it too Pandora! I'm not watching it though .... I can hardly bear to read about Paul let alone see the little pr!ck on tv.

I have to say people at work are starting not to beleive me when i say i don't watch it cos I repeat bits of what you put Pandora .... in fact I htink they think I have inside knowledge!!

... i only came online to visit Delia's site for tips on how to season a frying pan ...
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08-06-2005, 06:58 AM
Post: #5
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
Count me in too, Pan. Your posts are hilarious. I don't need to watch the programme.
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08-06-2005, 08:28 AM
Post: #6
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
Brilliant as ever Pandora!
I even though I watch the program I have to read your synopsis because you always notice things I miss. I lovinggg this program now but don't feel the experience is complete until reading your writeup.

On the subject of Kelly's wardrobe - she has a designer working for her - because she was interviewed last week on the ITV2 prog. Maybe they were desperate for a guest that night.
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08-06-2005, 08:34 AM
Post: #7
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
I read them too Pan Cool I love your reviews as i often miss things that were said - like the Isabella / Paul exchange.

Paul has been a complete prat and i cant believe that Isabella hasnt whalloped him over the head with a sunbed yet. I would of done :unsure:

I loved seeing Lee run over to Abi ... and when they 'met' in the beach hut it was really sweet. I still cant stand Abi though and im facsinated with his mouth / tongue now :blink:

I'm not perfect, but im so close it scares me
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08-06-2005, 08:56 AM
Post: #8
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
AAAH thank goodness for your update Pandora, I can now go and pack up all my ebay parcels knowing that I have not missed a single vile moment in the lives of my D-lebrities on Love Island :thumbsup:

I still read daily, count me in

What others think and say about you is none of your business. :ohmy:
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08-06-2005, 09:12 AM
Post: #9
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
I'm still watching and reading your fab updates Pan!

Loathing Paul - he really is vile!

So disappointed with Lee for fancying abi - i thought the guy had taste!!

<span style='color:blue'><span style='font-size:14pt;line-height:100%'>&quot;Work is the curse of the drinking classes&quot;</span></span>
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08-06-2005, 09:18 AM
Post: #10
Celeb Love Island - 07/06/05
Oh bless. You are lot are so sweet. :hug:

Looks like we need to get a posse up to "meet" the scum sucking mollusc that is Mr Danan, at Heathrow Airport.

I hope he gets kicked off before Rebecca. Although she is rapidly turning so brown, thin lipped and leathery she is starting to look like a tortoise.....

Liking the cut of your jib.........[Image: aniburns.gif]
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