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Concern for the future
13-05-2005, 10:58 AM
Post: #1
Concern for the future

I really didn't know what to call this thread, and it is something that I have had on my mind for a while.

It is quite a delicate subject, and so I shall try and handle it gently ... and my background thinking behind this is that - in life we are born, some get married, some have babies, some get ill, some are fine, and then we all die eventually.

I often think of you lot when I am doing things that don't require full concentration, so when I am in the shower or when I am cooking, or driving etc. And if someone is poorly or is on holiday then I may give them an extra thought or two.

Like Blinks babies - I know I am not alone in having been worried and concerned on many, many occasions. Knowing that Dab is not well worries me too, and I always think of people when they go on holiday just so that they remain safe, especially if they fly.

Anyway I am getting round to my concern in a moment - just a bit around the bushes first to explain my thought processes. But say I was killed in a road accident. I know that Mr F would have to tell the family and my friends, and he would also contact Bella and she would come on here and say what had happened, so you would all know why I hadn't been around for a while. And there would be closure for people who knew me and for my firneds on here.

And I know there are other such friends/family/work colleagues who post here. I just wonder has everyone got a special someone here who can be 'that' person that can pass on messages if the time ever arose?

I just get sad thinking that someone here just disappeared never to be heard of again - who was a firend or someone we respected or really liked without a bye or reason. It is not that I am very nosey or even curious - just if something happened to me, I would want my firneds to know about it, and many of my firneds are here. [note I have ceased to have firends and they are now firneds!!]

Can you see what I am saying?? Sort of like an action plan for the future. I know there are many who enjoy and require anonymity and that is always respected, but I know there are many more who don't.

I always cook with wine, and sometimes I actually put it in the food.
[Image: pot002.gif]


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13-05-2005, 11:16 AM
Post: #2
Concern for the future
I know what you're saying Flippy. I am lucky enough to have one of my closest friends on here. I think that's another benefit of having meets, because it gives people a chance to socialise and exchange phone numbers, etc, if they want to.

We had to consider something similar when we went to the States a few years ago without the boys. We suddenly thought about what would happen if we didn't come back. It's morbid, I know, but when you have kids you have to think about these things. We nominated family members and, actually, they did the same with us when they went away without their children. I know family would automatically step in, but unless you nominate a specific person/family, it could cause arguments.
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13-05-2005, 11:20 AM
Post: #3
Concern for the future
This has occurred to me too, and thank you Flip for raising the subject with such gentle sensitivity. In my old mob we used to call this kind of thing the "buddy system". Hopefully we'll all have a buddy who can let everyone here know if something happens, or alternatively a family member who knows to tell someone here.

On a personal level, I really hope that no-one here is upset about me and my illness. It's a long process. I've been ill for fourteen years and I intend to be around for a long time yet, and my life is absolutely wonderful. I'm in the bosom of a beautiful family (and I include you lot in that description Smile ) and every day is warm and loving.
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13-05-2005, 11:33 AM
Post: #4
Concern for the future
I hear what you're saying Flip and obviously I've got Mazwad who would keep people updated.

One of our members on my MSN Group had battled with breast cancer and was a regular poster. She just disappeared and I often wonder if she's OK. I have her e-mail addy but just in case, I don't want to upset anyone. I know how upsetting it can be getting mail for people no longer with us.

Until Mazza joined I wouldn't have had anyone to let you know if I was ill or gone. Hubby is not really computer literate and wouldn't know how to get into the Group to give any information.
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13-05-2005, 11:59 AM
Post: #5
Concern for the future
Unfortunately (or fortunately maybe :mellow: ) noone would know why i would disapear on here. I dont really keep in contact with anyone away from this forum.

When i was in London i would probably have a few emails a day from Groucho, but that was only to discuss our G&T plans :ninja: He knew if i wasnt around as i wouldnt reply to the emails, but we dont have a need to do that anymore now we are quite a few miles apart.

My husband knows i post on here daily, but he certainly wouldnt know how to post himself - and so wouldn't inform anyone here.

I feel all sad now :closedeye

I'm not perfect, but im so close it scares me
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13-05-2005, 01:31 PM
Post: #6
Concern for the future
Awww, Bonnie, don't worry if you disappear we will all launch a mission to come and find you. And Flippy, ooh I got a shiver when you said Mr F would contact me, I pray that, that day will never happen!

I know where you are coming from though, as Karen H hasn't been round for wee while and neither has Lucy. Both very promident members and I wonder are they just busy with their "other" lives, fed-up or has something happened to them.

Dab - of course we all worry about you but in the same sense we all know that you are not self-pitying but it doesn't stop us caring about you, you old moocher! Wink

Mr B would contact Flip to let her know (heaven forbid) if anything happened to me as like some of the other partners, he would not have a clue about what do to around here.

TRINITY JEWELLERY - DESIGNS THAT STAND OUT
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13-05-2005, 02:18 PM
Post: #7
Concern for the future
I've got a porn buddy.

If anything happens to me, he knows what to do.

No internet buddy though........... :ohmy:

"You can put lipstick on a pig...but it's still a pig!!!"
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13-05-2005, 03:24 PM
Post: #8
Concern for the future
Groucho Wrote:I've got a porn buddy.

If anything happens to me, he knows what to do.

No internet buddy though........... :ohmy:


This is Buddy, will he do?

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13-05-2005, 04:04 PM
Post: #9
Concern for the future
Bella Wrote:I know where you are coming from though, as Karen H hasn't been round for wee while......

I've been around Bella, just not posting much. In truth, I've probably popped on here most days, so I'm definitely not dead.....

Hmmmm - this is a bit of a depressing thread, but I know where you are coming from Flip. If I kicked the bucket, I doubt anyone here would know about it. I don't really talk about this site to My H or any of my mates, so I doubt it'd occur to them to tell anyone here that I'd died.

But then, if there was a thread on here saying that I died, how many people here would come to my funeral or send a card? You might feel momentarily sad and you might say a quick prayer if you were so inclined, but in the grand scheme of things I don't play a big part in the lives of anyone here so I probably wouldn't merit more than a passing thought or two. In time, it would be just as if I had "left" the site.

There are people who I have liked very much who have posted here in the past and now post no longer. They have disappeared off the face of the earth and for all I know, they may be dead. I don't want to mourn them though. I want to remember them as witty, vibrant posters and hope that either they return again, or that posters of a similar calibre will join and make me laugh.

To me, that is how it should be.

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
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13-05-2005, 04:51 PM
Post: #10
Concern for the future
Do you know flip I was thinking about this only the other day, I am ok because I have Buzz and Patsy here who would be aware of me snuffing it and visa versa.

But I do worry about others.....dab as you said especially, but anyone...if something tragic happened, would we find out?

When I was a involved with a pregnancy board we all had an informer....someone who was put on the phone list when baby was born so that person could then tell the board of the new arrival. Mr Cat wouldn't have a clue how to post here.

I hereby declare that those who don't have a 'real' friend here, needs to go out and get one NOW so we can all sleep at night!.
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