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Connie Talbot - Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Review
11-05-2008, 10:46 PM
Post: #1
Connie Talbot - Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Review

A universe of WRONG.

Here's something to think about; what was YOUR life like when you were six years old?

Whatever the answer, unless you were sewing wallets by gunpoint or being fiddled by your funny uncle, you can damn well bet your answer would be: "I can't remember, but I'm sure it was better than Connie Talbots."

Let me introduce you, if you can stomach it, to UK reality television's latest disaster zone. She took part in the (no-doubt) annual suck-fest that is Britain's Got Talent. She was cute, she sang nice songs with a nice little voice and.. oh, wait. Hang on.


Have I mentioned that yet? Has it sunk in yet? Six. Years. Old. Yet instead of the nation being appalled that television had stooped SO low that we now accepted a near infant being dressed up, paraded and judged in front of 12 million people in the name of light entertainment, instead everyone all "awwww"'d and made kissy faces, as every granny in Britain spent their pensions voting for the toothless little angel who reminded them of their own grandchildren that secretly hate them.

She didn't win, of course, but when did that ever stop the never-ending idiot-manipulating music device from churning out more albums of lazy cover versions? It sure didn't here - and if Connie could sing those songs live, she could damn well sing them in a studio.

I'm confused; who exactly is this album aimed at? Who the hell thinks; "What a day. Hmmm.. I fancy listening to a child barely out of nappies singing John Lennon's "Imagine" today." I honestly do not see the appeal or point behind this entire project, except to make a fast buck and to prod and push a bewildered and eager to please toddler further into a world she's obviously far too young to be involved in. It's like Drew Barrymore was never born.

Since when did the UK start openly awarding such bad parenting? Since when did such blatant and shameless child exploitation turn into cutesy-poo schmaltz? Reality television has always been the home of the vilest human beings on the planet, but this is surely a new low?

For now, however, we should quite rightly avoid this "album" at all costs, and wait for Connie Talbot's inevitable VH-1 story when she's 16, addicted to heroin and hopefully divorced from her diabolical parents.

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