Poll: Divorce, what are your thoughts
Divorce is to be expected in marraige
Divorce should be the last resort
I got divorced - hard but the best solution
I got divorced and regret it deeply
My parents were divorced and I resent them for it
My parents were divorced and it was best for everyone
My parents are divorced, I don't really think about it, its their business
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Divorce
07-01-2005, 04:23 PM
Post: #1
Divorce

I'd like to do a poll but don't know how to set one up... If a moderator can help out that would be great.

I'd like to know peoples thoughts, choose from the following options:

~Divorce is to be expected in marriages - people are silly to think they can live with the same person forever!

~Divorce should be the last resort - one should try everything to work things out before even contemplating divorce

~I got divorced- hard but the best solution, it was better for everybody!

~I got divorced and regret it deeply.

~My parents were divorced and I resent them for it, I think they should have tried harder to make things work.

~My parents were divorced and it was definately in everybody's best interests. I don't hold any resentment and know they are much happier.

~My parents are divorced, I don't really think about it, its their business really.


Perhaps we could discuss marriage and divorce? Do you think that marriage is a silly thing, not for everybody, not for our times / old fashioned? Why are the divorce statistics so high, and on the increase? One in Two marriages end in divorce. In America it is nearing three in four marriages! How do you think this will affect our children and their potential perception of marriage?

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07-01-2005, 05:08 PM
Post: #2
Divorce
I'd like to know peoples thoughts, choose from the following options:
~Divorce should be the last resort - one should try everything to work things out before even contemplating divorce
[/quote]

I'm married, and hoping it'll last for the long term! Wink My parents remain happily married too - it seems to me that people are strongly affected by their parents' experience.

Claire I notice your sig says that love can be the fruit of marriage. Do you mean that sometimes people get married that don't love each other, and then love follows?

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07-01-2005, 05:41 PM
Post: #3
Divorce
mikado Wrote:Claire I notice your sig says that love can be the fruit of marriage. Do you mean that sometimes people get married that don't love each other, and then love follows?

I think often people fall more deeply in love with each other after they have been married for a while...

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07-01-2005, 05:47 PM
Post: #4
Divorce
claire Wrote:~Divorce should be the last resort - one should try everything to work things out before even contemplating divorce

I'd agree with this!
I'm getting married this summer (OMG!) and I hope it is forever through better or worse sickness an health. We have been together ages now and have two children (expecting the third) against all the odds we got this far, it's not been easy in fact it's been terrible at times. I'd like to think we are not entering into marriage lightly, we have reaced a point in our relationship where we are certain it can last.

P.S sorry claire but I'm not sure about how to do a poll, the forums have changed a lot, someone will help you out though!

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07-01-2005, 05:59 PM
Post: #5
Divorce
There you go Claire, one poll now in place.Smile
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07-01-2005, 06:12 PM
Post: #6
Divorce
Good question Claire.

Thanks Andrea - I am the first voter!!

I was a late marrier [is that a word??] - and I went into my marriage with my eyes wide open, having witnessed divorce through my best friend and many other contempories. And have seen the heartache, the devastation and the childrens reaction to it - on the other hand I have seen the 're-birth' of a person, the happiness it can bring and many other benefits. I cannot coment on their divorces - it wasn't me.

But I look at marriage as a life long commitment. I have been married 7 years and with Mr F for near on 20 years - so I knew him so well when we tied the knot. When life was normal - getting married was the absolutely right decision for us, and even though Mr F has mega problems now - it is still the right decision.

I could quite easily [if I chose] to up and leave him, take the children and live independently without support from him. And honestly there are times when I have been sorely tempted - but I shall never ever do that.

I made the decision 7 years ago to commit to that one man - and because I have a very single tracked mind, moral conscience, rigid thoughts on straying/marriage/fidelity - nothing, no nothing will ever make me stray. Despite severe temptations - my heart belongs to my husband.

I know people enter marriage indulgently sometimes - often for the right reasons, that turn into the wrong reasons - and I can happily accept other peoples decisions whatever they maybe, afterall the one person who counts in all of this is YOU.
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07-01-2005, 06:40 PM
Post: #7
Divorce
I think it should be a lifelong commitment and divorce should be a very very last resort... but that's easier said than done...

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07-01-2005, 06:45 PM
Post: #8
Divorce
My husband had an affair and then beat me and threw me down the stairs when I found out and wanted to know who she was.

I think divorce was probably the best option under the circumstances and would suggest there are cases where "working it out" really isn't an option and marriage certainly ISN'T a lifelong commitment.
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07-01-2005, 06:46 PM
Post: #9
Divorce
claire Wrote:I think often people fall more deeply in love with each other after they have been married for a while...
Ah right. I think that after you have known someone for a time the way you love them starts to change, maybe for the better, maybe not. Does that make sense? Maybe that's why we have so many divorces now - people just "fall out of love" and lack the staying power to keep things going?

Mick Smile
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07-01-2005, 08:19 PM
Post: #10
Divorce
I think the reason marriages stayed together years ago is because if the woman left, she would have been totally on her own, there was no such thing as CSA or maintenance payments etc. If you were to talk women from say, your grandparents generation, you may find that they have been married for many years but maybe many of those years were unhappy ones. However I do think that people do not try to work things out as much as they could have. In the case of Ceri, then she was quite right to get out, her husband had an affair and then hit her.

What I do not understand is people who are only married a matter of minutes before they decide on divorce. Surely the cracks must have been there before they married. I think it should be made harder to marry, that you have prove your commitment and make it easy to divorce.

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