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Food "glorious" food ?
16-04-2005, 01:23 PM
Post: #1
Food "glorious" food ?

Following on from Fee's story about the pube in a quiche, I thought Id start a thread about the horrors you've come across in your food!
I, myself have a few stories to tell:

There is a McDonalds (ah yes, how we all knew mcDonalds would have to feature in this thread) in my neighbouring town which is infamous for being absolutely stinking (the one in my town isn't much better...) but this one is a complete disgrace.
One time a few years back all the male employees had to have their sperm tested because one of them w*nked off into the mayonnaise. 100% true story! In was in the papers up here and everything! I have no idea if it was actually used on any burgers though.
What triggers someone to do this??

And then there are all the usual McDonald's horror stories like the guy who ordered a mayo-free Chicken sandwich only to bite into it to get a big mouthful of mayo - only it wasn't actually mayo, it was an abscess on the chicken.

Next story - once I got a takeaway from a nearby chinese (who ive subsequently found out that they defrost their chickens in the toilet pan or so it's rumoured!) and I found a huge piece of metal in it. Took it back down and showed them so they offered me a free meal which I of course declined!

So go on, share the gruesome details of your past prandial terrors!

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="Red"]Before criticising someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
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16-04-2005, 01:47 PM
Post: #2
Food "glorious" food ?
PJ Wrote:There is a McDonalds (ah yes, how we all knew mcDonalds would have to feature in this thread) in my neighbouring town which is infamous for being absolutely stinking (the one in my town isn't much better...) but this one is a complete disgrace.
One time a few years back all the male employees had to have their sperm tested because one of them w*nked off into the mayonnaise. 100% true story! In was in the papers up here and everything! I have no idea if it was actually used on any burgers though.
What triggers someone to do this??


Thanks for reminding me of that PJ! I know you've told that story before and I often think of it when eating a particularly tasty big mac! :sick: As for what triggers people to do it - well it was probably one of the female employees covering her breasts in tomato sauce - well what's a young man to do, it's gotta go somewhere!!! :sick: :laugh:

... i only came online to visit Delia's site for tips on how to season a frying pan ...
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16-04-2005, 01:57 PM
Post: #3
Food "glorious" food ?
:sick:


Yuk - this is the sort of thread I love - so many of these stories have become Urban Myths - I think I told the chicken burger story once - but it wasn't an abcess it was a tumour!!!:sick:

The only gross ones that I have actually witnessed was when I was younger, my firends Mum opened a tin of ravioli [this was in the 70's btw - when tins of ravioli were all the rage!!! - actually that in itself is worth of a *sick* smillie] - but she cut one up and in it was, what looked like false eyelashes - it turned out to be part of a beef cow's eyelid!!

And when my Auntie was looking after me and my sis while the parents swanned off round the world - she found a little brown peanut shaped deposit in a pint of milk - this was tested by the Milk Marketing board and turned out to be a Guinea Pig poo.

I always cook with wine, and sometimes I actually put it in the food.
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16-04-2005, 01:59 PM
Post: #4
Food "glorious" food ?
This thread is :sick:

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16-04-2005, 02:05 PM
Post: #5
Food "glorious" food ?
My worst was discovering the apple I had just eaten most of had maggots in the core.

Close second was eating a sandwich my mum had kindly prepared for me - and she hadn't washed the lettuce which was crawling with tiny little things.

:sick:
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16-04-2005, 02:12 PM
Post: #6
Food "glorious" food ?
Oh Cat that reminds me, one of our neighbours little girls was eating lettuce and then she noticed a slug on it :shutup:

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16-04-2005, 02:30 PM
Post: #7
Food "glorious" food ?
I'm sticking to eating chocolate from now on, I feel pretty safe with that.
Flip I almost bought some ravioli today :laugh: I need to defrost the fridge so I thought I'd stock up on tins, I almost got it then I saw the 2% beef on the label. I ended up buying some pasta tomatoes and veg instead and didn't buy anything out of a tin.

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16-04-2005, 02:35 PM
Post: #8
Food "glorious" food ?
It's worse when you find half a maggot or slug though isn't it! :sick:

Anyway...the Mc D's stories are all around....one girl had a Mc Chicken sandwhich from a London branch...took a bit thought it tasted funny and binned it....the next day she had loads of coldsores all round her mouth....the doctor said she had contracted scabies (or was it herpies) anyway it transpired that several staff memebrs at Mc D's had jerked off in the mayo and one had the disease! :sick:

My mum once bit into a wire bag tie in a Birdseye Lasagne - Birdseye said that there was no way it could have got there through them and sent her a cruddy little cook book.....same for when my brother once broke a tooth on a stone in a can of cross and blackwell beans! :angry:

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16-04-2005, 02:36 PM
Post: #9
Food "glorious" food ?
I used to grow my own potatoes and I boiled some new potatoes and put them in the fridge to get cold. I got one out and took a bite and chewed it and found it abnormally chewy. I looked at the rest of a potato and found I was chewing on half a slug. :sick:

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16-04-2005, 03:42 PM
Post: #10
Food "glorious" food ?
I know a few people who don't bother washing iceberg lettuces, I always do because I'm always worried about bugs in things. I was glad that I'd been fussy about this as when my son was between jobs he went picking these and told me that because the facilities were so far away the blokes just piddled where they were working. They are probably washed before they are packed but we have called it piddle lettuce ever since.
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