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Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
21-09-2006, 07:08 PM (This post was last modified: 21-09-2006 07:14 PM by PJ.)
Post: #1
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.

I think I've just upset a good friend of mine and I really don't know why.
I've known this guy since primary school but we kind of lost touch when we left high school. We still text each other now and then and I've been to his band play a few times but did kind of lose contact with each other. He went to a different uni than me and he's currently studying architecture.
Anyway, I am a member of the site Bebo where basically you have your own webpage and people leave you messages etc (it's good for keeping in contact with friends that I don't see often). So, I noticed that he joined it too and we have been messaging each other over that just seeing how each others getting on etc.
So, I sent him a message saying "So how's uni going? Will you be designing Airdrie's [our hometown] first skyscraper anytime soon??" (obviously a tongue-in-cheek comment!)
and I've just checked and he's left me a reply saying "Not sure if that was an insult about the skyscraper. It was almost sarcastic. I have a long way to go before I'm that "good". I'll be sure to keep an eye out in the paper for "young dentist kills patient in kilsyth" "
His comment was obviously tongue-in-cheek as well (there were some smileys!) but I could tell from the tone of it that he was annoyed.
I left him another message saying I wasn't being sarcastic and sorry if he thought that.
Then I got a text message saying "Thanks for that bebo message. It wasn't at all patronising."

Huh Was my comment really that bad?? I really don't see what his problem is. I haven't replied to his text. To be honest, I dinnae know what the f*** to say!

Advice please. Was my comment patronising? Be honest becuase now I feel quite bad.

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21-09-2006, 07:27 PM
Post: #2
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
Looks pretty harmless to me, peej. Can't see that he'd bother texting if he was that bothered.

I'd just let it wash over and carry on as normal. Maybe he's just a bit sensitive because you're all jobbed up and salaried, while he's still studying?

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21-09-2006, 07:29 PM
Post: #3
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
Just let it go PJ, maybe he his Auntie Flo is visiting!

For the record I don't think your comment was sarky or patrionising, and if this guy has known you that long he should know your sense of humour by now, maybe he was just having an off day.

Things can be misunderstood when it is the written word.

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21-09-2006, 09:16 PM
Post: #4
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
I suppose the thing to do PJ is to put the boot on the other foot.

Say you were struggling in Dental School (maybe had a bad day getting to grips with root canal treatment) and he was set up in business and getting on well and he text you "Hi PJ, how's it going? Done your first Hollywood Smile yet?" Might it not sound to you like he was saying "In yer dreams mate"?

Can you be sure you'd take it as a joke? Or would you think "sarky b******" :laugh:

You probably would have laughed it off but you just never know how other people will react do you?

I'd just text him back with "Sorry mate, not one of my best jokes, obviously".

Or you could just keep it light and say "Well I haven't killed anyone yet but I've inflicted a lot of pain :laugh: "

If none of that appeals then just text back "What's up, had a sense of humour by-pass you miserable **** ".

Hope that helps :wink2:
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21-09-2006, 09:28 PM
Post: #5
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
Critique Wrote:I suppose the thing to do PJ is to put the boot on the other foot.

Say you were struggling in Dental School (maybe had a bad day getting to grips with root canal treatment) and he was set up in business and getting on well and he text you "Hi PJ, how's it going? Done your first Hollywood Smile yet?" Might it not sound to you like he was saying "In yer dreams mate"?

Can you be sure you'd take it as a joke? Or would you think "sarky b******" :laugh:
I honestly wasn't trying to belittle him or anything but now that you've put it like that Crit, I can kinda see where he's coming from. Although it's totally out of character for him to be so touchy like that. Feel like a bit of a pr*ck now.

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21-09-2006, 11:53 PM
Post: #6
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
Hello PJ,

Let it pass, you haven't really said anything derogatory to him. I would imagine that if you have both known each other this length of time, you'd be accustomed to more than a few tongue in cheek comments.

You've already apologised so theres no need to do so again. Next time you get the chance meet up and have a drink together.

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22-09-2006, 12:18 AM
Post: #7
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
Let it go PJ - but post again it never happened.Smile

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22-09-2006, 04:09 AM
Post: #8
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
Amazing isn't it PJ , these people who can't take a joke. I think Critique's way of dealing with it is very sensible and you should follow her advice.

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22-09-2006, 06:32 PM
Post: #9
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
It's very difficult on a message board to tell if you been insulted or not. Without intonation and visual signs it can be easy to mis-read a situation.

For example some may think the post above is a good sage piece of well meaning advice ... others may see it as a dig and completely insincere!! :w00t:

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22-09-2006, 07:01 PM
Post: #10
Friend p*ssed off at me - advice please.
Don't worry, Dol, the irony was not lost on me but I refuse to be drawn into another "what have I said?" type argument Big Grin
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