Post Reply 
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
From Angels to Tampons
23-12-2004, 12:59 PM
Post: #1
From Angels to Tampons

With apologies to Robbie Williams, here is my take on "Angels". I dedicate it to all you long-suffering ladies out there, and hope that your Christmas break is not spoilt.

Further apologies to those easily shocked. Wink

"Ode to PMT"

I sit and weep,
Cause my cramps are wrecking beauty sleep.
And do they know,
the places where my flow
ended up today?

'Cause I have been sold
Useless towels
(though their wings unfold)!
And when I'm lying in my bed,
And my sheets are turning red,
And I wish that I were dead,
I'm loving Tampax instead.

And through it AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL,
they offer me protection,
an easy to insert "injection"
whether I'm sad or mad.
And with hot water bott'l,
Whenever it may take me,
PMT won't break me,
When she comes to call,
Aunt Flo will make me -
I'm using Tampax instead.

When I feeling "bleugh"
And I've smashed up all my furniture,
I look a blimp,
I seek sympathy as I fake a limp.
And as the nausea grows,
And I hit another low,
Remember what I said:
"I'm loving Tampax instead."

And through it AAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL,
they offer me protection,
an easy to insert "injection"
whether I'm sad or mad.
And with hot water bott'l,
Whenever it may take me,
PMT won't break me,
When she comes to call,
Aunt Flo will make me -
I'm using Tampax instead.

Author of the fantasy thriller, Insensate - available for all ebook readers and iDevices. Find out more >here<. Only 49p/99¢!
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 01:21 PM
Post: #2
From Angels to Tampons
Very good blink, and thank you for your wishes that our Christmas is tampax free.
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 01:33 PM
Post: #3
From Angels to Tampons
How to make a Christmas Tampon Angel
1. Dip into water until tampon expands.
2. Remove and tie at the top to create the angel's head.
3. Let hang (by handy dandy string) for several days until dry.
4. Paint face with peach or skin tone color, and draw small
black dots for eyes.
5. Add blush or pink paint to cheeks.
6. Paint "dress" with glimmer paint.
7. Criss-cross thin gold ribbon across chest (around neck) .
8. Add yellow doll hair to top of head as well as a gold
pipe cleaner for a halo.
9. For the grand finale...glue small gold angel wings to back.
Ta da!!!



[Image: tampAng.jpg]

[b][i]Life is not that long [Image: 36_1_12.gif]
[/b][/i]
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 02:30 PM
Post: #4
From Angels to Tampons
that is brilliant Blink!!!!! :laugh:

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time :pimp:[/FONT]
[Image: isis.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 05:07 PM
Post: #5
From Angels to Tampons
Blink that's hilarious - did you make it up?

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="Red"]Before criticising someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes...[/COLOR]
[/SIZE]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 06:06 PM
Post: #6
From Angels to Tampons
Blink.... I am shocked :blink: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 06:23 PM
Post: #7
From Angels to Tampons
I'm not sure what to say.
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 06:55 PM
Post: #8
From Angels to Tampons
A very interesting interpretation Blink.

Queenie..do you not think you have a word here?
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 07:12 PM
Post: #9
From Angels to Tampons
This is quite gross :sick:
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
23-12-2004, 09:06 PM
Post: #10
From Angels to Tampons
:laugh: hahhahah Nice one Blink!!

Live your days instead of counting your years...
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)