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Good old essex girls!
23-07-2005, 11:24 AM
Post: #1
Good old essex girls!

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit. "How many
children?" Asks the council worker. "Ten" replies the Essex girl "TEN???"
says the council worker.. "What are their names?" "Wayne, Wayne, Wayne,
Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and....Wayne"
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing in
the street I just have to shout, "WAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY or WAYNE GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one
individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That's easy," says the
girl... "I just use their surnames"

An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the
counter "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress" she says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "No" she replies.
"This time it's mayonnaise."

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose
from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take the red one." The man
replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was her
boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on the news that
there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"

Another Essex girl is involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere.
he paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat
out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Girl: "Ok."
Medic: "Ok, how many fingers am I putting up?"
Girl: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says,
"Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of your
wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it? So the Irish guy
smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies "Well, oim a little bit
tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me roight foot and the one
with the L is for me left foot" "Cor blimey!", exclaims the Essexgirl, "So
THATS why me knickers 'ave C&A on them."

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23-07-2005, 03:24 PM
Post: #2
Good old essex girls!
How about Essex lads?

Q: Why does an Essex lad sell his wife's car after they marry?
A: It isn't that far from the kitchen to the bedroom.

Q: What does an Essex lad say when he gives his wife a blank piece of paper?
A: "Read your rights"
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