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Happiness
15-03-2005, 09:53 AM (This post was last modified: 15-03-2005 10:00 AM by claire.)
Post: #1
Happiness

Are you happy?

This little thread is kind of inspired by the saying that my friend - (the "wise & respected Flip") quoted in another thread:

"You are responsible for your own happiness"


I found this quite interesting... Is this true? How many of us are happy, and how often? Do you think other people make you happy or a bit of yourself and you and maybe your circumstances?

Please enter into discussion, Im quite interested to know your thoughts... Blush

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15-03-2005, 10:05 AM
Post: #2
Happiness
Thanks lil'lady for the compliment - I am beginning to sound like the owl off Winnie the Pooh though!!:laugh:


When I coined this little phrase as one of my philosophies - I did in a backlash reaction to my sister's depression. I was fed up with her bleating on about her unhappiness, her sadness and her life going wrong - I am now utterly ashamed of my reaction to her plight. We are the best of friends now and she forgives me unconditionally.

Anyway - when you look at the phrase in light of a clinical diagnosis - it really is not so true IMO. My hubby has severe and chronic depression - so really he is not responsible for his own happiness. I know this and accept this.

But in the absence of depression or any other psychological or physiological ailment - I like to think it is true.

Lots of things give us pleasure; children, stable family environments, money, nice clothes, good friends, comedic situations - we can all feel happy about these momentarily or even longer. But to feel long term, permanent happiness without the need for stimulous is harder and down to the individual.

I am now on a bit of a witter so I shall shush up for the minute and see what others have to say.

I always cook with wine, and sometimes I actually put it in the food.
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15-03-2005, 10:34 AM
Post: #3
Happiness
There's clinical depression (which cannot be helped without proper treatment...be it psyche visits or drugs) and is generally (and correct me if I'm wrong) displayed physically as well as mentally...everything is an extra effort...tiredness is a common factor.... and then there's self pity.....the simpering..no-body loves me every body hates me...I'm poor can't do anything wa wah waaah....I'm afraid I have no patience for people obsorbed in self pity!

Self Pity is a 'ME...ME' existance...it's someone wanting all the attention and for people to constantly molly coddle them and say everything is all right as they are incapable of keeping their own spirits up.....it's the people who make you feel uncomfortable about having a good time because they are incapable of finding joy in anything unless it's all about them......you can give a self pity merchant any amount time, money & support and they will never be happy...they will always drag you down.

I just can't be bothered with people who get stuck in this rutt of life because I know people who have far less money, health etc than they do who are happy and positive and although they may need a hand every now and again they appreciate it and don't just use you as an emotional crutch!

[Image: animated_shark184f200.gif] [Image: AniDive.gif][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="5"]Eeek! [/SIZE][/FONT][Image: yachtsink.gif] [SIZE="5"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Don't panic...I'll save you...oh dear![/FONT] [/SIZE]
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15-03-2005, 10:52 AM
Post: #4
Happiness
I understand what you are saying, and am with you for the most part.

I do have one point;- is it not true that most of us go through stages in our lives where we do need more reassurance and support than usual, we feel insignificant, unimportant and unworthy. We can fall into a rut (where we become completely self absorbed - a rash and an emotional parasite to others) or we can - with the help of those closest to us come out of it and emerge as a stronger person?

If that is true, isn't it our responsibility to give support where needed?

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15-03-2005, 11:02 AM
Post: #5
Happiness
That's true Claire...there are times when friends do get low...the difference here is as a mate you will generally have some idea as to what it is that is troubling them and be able to support them through it and it passes in time....that is an important part of any friendship to be there through the good and the bad.

The type of person I'm on about are those who no matter what you do or what they get they are always miserable. They can never see the good in anything...the people who you plan a night out with and you ask what they would like to do and they are either 'Oh whatever you want'...so you do something and they seem set on being miserable the whole time....or they offer a suggestion and you plan it and set out to have a good time but it's not quite what they wanted and they simply sit miserable the whole time...the type of person who can't see good in anything...those are the ones I have no time for....I just want to slap em silly and say oh for goodness sake...you have your health, you have a home, food and a finances so get the heck on with life! :ranting:

[Image: animated_shark184f200.gif] [Image: AniDive.gif][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="5"]Eeek! [/SIZE][/FONT][Image: yachtsink.gif] [SIZE="5"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Don't panic...I'll save you...oh dear![/FONT] [/SIZE]
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15-03-2005, 11:07 AM
Post: #6
Happiness
What you are talking about Coastie is self obsession. The "I'm so interesting that everybody watches me, everybody worries about me, everybody's got it in for me" mentality is just SELFISH!! I know someone like this at work and he drives me up the wall....I keep telling him that if he paid a bit more attention to what OTHER people want, they would be more interested in HIM and then he would get the attention he craves!! :ranting:
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15-03-2005, 11:08 AM
Post: #7
Happiness
Ceridwen Wrote:What you are talking about Coastie is self obsession. The "I'm so interesting that everybody watches me, everybody worries about me, everybody's got it in for me" mentality is just SELFISH!! I know someone like this at work and he drives me up the wall....I keep telling him that if he paid a bit more attention to what OTHER people want, they would be more interested in HIM and then he would get the attention he craves!! :ranting:


It could also be classed as paranoia? - is that clinical?

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15-03-2005, 12:29 PM
Post: #8
Happiness
It must be a very miserable existence to be unhappy with your lot all of the time. I used to work with a girl who was always unhappy even when something nice happened to her or she got what she wanted, there was a down side to it. I met her again recently & she was still exactly the same. It used to take a great deal of effort to talk with her cos everything was always such doom & gloom & even if you tried to help, there was always a reason why she couldn't do whatever had been suggested. It was very wearing.

I don't consider myself a positive or negative person more realistic. I don't think everything is going to be ok or everything is going to hell in a hand basket either - I just look at what is likely to happen. I find that way I'm rarely disappointed, occasionally happily surprised but mostly life is what I expected.

I think I'm happy - thank you for asking Big Grin

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15-03-2005, 12:55 PM
Post: #9
Happiness
Claire, you have just made me very very happy :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


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15-03-2005, 01:00 PM
Post: #10
Happiness
Ceridwen Wrote:What you are talking about Coastie is self obsession. The "I'm so interesting that everybody watches me, everybody worries about me, everybody's got it in for me" mentality is just SELFISH!! I know someone like this at work and he drives me up the wall....I keep telling him that if he paid a bit more attention to what OTHER people want, they would be more interested in HIM and then he would get the attention he craves!! :ranting:

Ohhhh I have known one or 2 like that in my time Ceri, one of my friends can be like that sometimes, she is very pessimistic and everything has to be a big drama, she was with a right ******* for about 4 years, it was a very destructive relationship, all she ever did was whinge about the situation she was in, and that the whole town was "talking about me/us" but after 4 years I started to find it all a bit tedious to be honest, it also "bought me down", so I told her that I loved her, she was a dear friend to me, that I would always be there for her, but I wasnt going to discuss anything to do with her fella and that he wouldnt be welcome in my home anymore......thankfully, eventually she did see the light, after he had beat the crap out of her a few times :mad2:

I think that ultimately we all pay a part in our own happiness, if something is making us unhappy, then we must address the issue and reslove it - Im just GUTTED that it took me till I was in my 30's to realise it and became happy myself.........although I have had a little wobble recently due to my job, so I alleviated the cause and jacked it in, I am now very happy being at home (and so is Mr Q - clean house, ironing done etc and dinner ready when he gets home) until I find a job that I know I will enjoy and be happy in - its blummin nice being in a position to do that though Smile

I also feel that unless you are 100% happy with you as a person, then you may struggle to form relationships - be it friends or romantically......but these are just my thoughts based on my experience Big Grin

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