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Ladder 49 - Review
12-05-2008, 11:45 PM
Post: #1
Ladder 49 - Review

Come in Ladder 49, your time is up.

Hey, you know something? You know those guys that jump into burning buildings and rescue people? Do you know they happen to be rather brave?

Well, if you did, you can walk away now because you've basically seen the entire point behind "Ladder 49: Firefighters Are So Brave, Aren't They?"

Call me a cynic all you want, but I want the movies I watch to have a little more story than that. Oh, wait - OK. Come back - there IS a story behind Ladder 49 after all. It's just not a very good one.

So, Brave Firefighter Joaquin Phoenix joins up with other Brave Firefighters, and the majority of the movie is centred around them, and the ha-ha-larious "manly" antics they get up to, including an "induction" ceremony that only the most stupid, gullible people in the UNIVERSE would fall for, and throwing beer kegs over one another. 'Cos they're guys, see? And all the while the worst possible fires break out (with no explanation why.. Jeez, you'd think there would be some little fires or cats to rescue from trees or something?) and every time Joaquin's moaning wife's worried face is shown because she's sure he's going to die THIS time.

And that's basically it. The thing is, the characters are so bland and uninspired, the plot so Cut-Out-And-Keep that we can't help but feel we've seen this sort of thing a thousand times before. Its more like a mid-afternoon TV movie than a big budget blockbuster, and having great actors like John Travolta and Robert Patrick in dull co-worker roles is such a waste of their talents that it beggars belief.

Big stars, big money - on a movie that's as exciting as a ladder in a pair of tights. A real waste.

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13-05-2008, 12:56 AM
Post: #2
Ladder 49 - Review
Hey, do you know something? You know those yummy-mummy types that write those columns in the Sundays? Your writing style is just the same.

Well, if you lost the clichés and the oh-so-passé chirpy style, you might just give us something interesting to read.

No, I can't call you a cynic because I want the critiques I read to (a) do something more than just stating the bleeding obvious, (b) be a tad more current, © inspire some discussion rather that just being a platform for your ha-ha-larious self-indulgences.

But, wait, do you perchance do requests? I'd like to see the odd 'why-oh-why' tossed into the mix, early on. You just can't beat that well-placed w-o-w factor for flagging up what to expect.

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13-05-2008, 01:15 AM
Post: #3
Ladder 49 - Review
Oh-ho, now then - who is THIS stepping up to the plate?

For starters, my reviews are of the worst things available on Amazon.com, and when I came in here I decided to just throw random reviews in here to see what reaction they got.

Although, you say you want "current" reviews, yet when I reviewed Doomsday it hasn't even been commented on, and that's still in the cinema. So I really can't win can I? Maybe its because its not got Joaquin Phoenix in it? Therefore you won't have heard of it, obviously.

Anyway, since when has a review EVER been a platform for discussion? Do Empire finish reviews with "but hey - what do YOU think?" Hell, do the "yummy mummies" you speak of (I really have to buy that paper in future) finish articles like that?

So to recap;

Not a current film, no - but then older film reviews often work best. I know when I see a current film getting reviewed I skip past it because I don't want to read any spoilers.

Self indulgence? Totally. 100%. And proud of it. It's MY review from MY website and its what I think. Why wouldn't it be self-indulgent? Because it doesn't have 100 LOL comments or smiley face emoticons you feel lost and unwanted, is that it?

And I find it rich you mock my writing style when from what I've seen on here your comments are the most worthless and banal of the lot.

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13-05-2008, 01:18 AM
Post: #4
Ladder 49 - Review
Oh, and you were doing so well up to the last para :wink_kiss

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13-05-2008, 01:21 AM
Post: #5
Ladder 49 - Review
Yes. Oh, and "compliments of the season to you all."


Yes, ladies and gentlemen - she actually wrote those words in another thread.

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13-05-2008, 01:26 AM
Post: #6
Ladder 49 - Review
Why, Mr Curmie. You flatter me.

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13-05-2008, 08:38 AM
Post: #7
Ladder 49 - Review
The Curmudgeon Wrote:Anyway, since when has a review EVER been a platform for discussion?

So why, I wonder, would you post them on a discussion forum? A forum of which none of the posters thus far have expressed the slightest interest.

You just like ranting, don't you?
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13-05-2008, 09:17 AM
Post: #8
Ladder 49 - Review
Maybe I said that wrong.

Yes, a review IS a platform for discussion, especially when they're as negative as mine - that's the point. You either agree, which you can say, or you don't, which you can also say.

What a good review is NOT, however, is a "this song is so rubbish, lol, but I know Patsy likes it, insert 500 pointless emoticons" and maybe that's where I'm going wrong here, because that seems like the only way people on this site can actually communicate.

But hey - you say no-one's interested? (In the actual discussion forum you said, but I imagine you mean my reviews - take that one as a freebie) I've only been here a day and one of my reviews has 2 pages and another has 3.

OK, its not the 97 page monster the taxing genius of "What Are You Having For Tea Tonight?" thread reached, but you can't fault that splendid piece of worthwhile conversation.

And do I like to rant? What do you think?

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13-05-2008, 09:31 AM
Post: #9
Ladder 49 - Review
As far as I can see (and I'm sure you'll correct me if you think I'm wrong), no-one is actually discussing the subject of your review.

I'm all for ranting, btw. I just think you need one of these. :hug:
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13-05-2008, 09:35 AM
Post: #10
Ladder 49 - Review
Well, I can't help what people write, can I? Although the Leon Jackson review is pretty focussed on talking about the, cough, ahem, ahem, "music."

And as for needing one of those.. do I need a hug or do I need an emoticon?

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