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Lord of the Rings Trilogy - Review
13-05-2008, 02:42 PM
Post: #1
Lord of the Rings Trilogy - Review

Love these movies? Then God help you.

ow, let me get one thing straight; The Curmudgeon is not some idiot who hates anything with "depth". I don't consider XXX to be the best movie of all time, and this trilogy didn't "go over my head".

Yes, it looked nice. It looked very nice indeed. Yes, it was faithful to the books, but dear God in Heaven - how BORING was it all?

It really annoys me, because I thought I would LOVE these movies. I'm into fantasy/adventure movies like anyone else, and when Fellowship came out I was all giggly and excited and loving life, then I sat through it and hated it with a passion.

Boring, banal characters. Worthless "banter". Inane, lifeless and bloated, it is the single most tedious trilogy I've ever seen (well, except the Matrix, obviously).

Nine hours of footage. Nine. Twelve if you include the "not got a girlfriend? Then get THIS" Super-Extended Ultra Editions, and what do people remember? What is the sole remaining factor that people like and quote?

"My precious".

Yes, Golum. A CGI character that wiped the floor with every other bland no-mark character on the screen. Think about it - would ANYONE care if 99% of the cast of the trilogy was killed? Of course they wouldn't. THAT's what wrong with Lord Of The Rings, as it toots and whistles through it's own self-importance, with its ludicrous, worthy dialogue and teeth-grindingly AWFUL attempts at humour, it forgot to add any soul or real heart. Thank God it's all over.

Don't abuse children, or else they'll turn out like me. - The site to save your life.
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