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Navitity Play - Chav Style
05-12-2005, 12:09 PM
Post: #1
Navitity Play - Chav Style

*Please do not be offended*

Chav Nativity...

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)

She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.

One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'

Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah!
I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'

So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.

She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.'

Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'

Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go
dahn Beflehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah?
To have her bay-bee an' that.

But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.

Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads.

They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.

Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh?
Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'

It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer. He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.'

Joe goes 'You must be monged it you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'

Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'

So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that.

Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

TRINITY JEWELLERY - DESIGNS THAT STAND OUT
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05-12-2005, 12:10 PM
Post: #2
Navitity Play - Chav Style
skuze my ignorance...but what is a chav???
I like to know things...
:-)

'Come away, oh human child, to the waters and the wild.With a fairy hand in hand...for the world is more full of weeping than you will understand.........'
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05-12-2005, 12:14 PM
Post: #3
Navitity Play - Chav Style
Here you go, Aon

What is a Chav?
'chav' (slang) - a young person, often without a high level of education, who follows a particular fashion; Chavs usually wear designer labels including the chav favourite 'Burberry', and if they’re girls, very short skirts, large hoop earrings and stilettos.

Chavs see branded baseball caps as a status symbol and wear them at every opportunity. Normally found hanging around shopping centres.

Also known as Townies, Kevs, Hood Rats, Charvers, Steeks, Stigs, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Chorer, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Kappa Slappers, Scallies, and Spides. Also known as Neds in Scotland, knackers & skangers in Ireland, and Guidos in the USA


As it states they are known as Neds or Nedheads up here in Scotland!

TRINITY JEWELLERY - DESIGNS THAT STAND OUT
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05-12-2005, 12:16 PM
Post: #4
Navitity Play - Chav Style
OH right...I think we call them 'howa-ya's'
yikes.....

'Come away, oh human child, to the waters and the wild.With a fairy hand in hand...for the world is more full of weeping than you will understand.........'
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05-12-2005, 01:58 PM
Post: #5
Navitity Play - Chav Style
Apparently girl Chavs also go around with babies dummies in their mouths. Yes, you read that right. I was out with my non-Chavvy daughter last week and we saw 2 girls of about 15, sucking on dummies. NOT a good look! I would be so embarrassed if that was one of my kids.

Love the story, btw, Bella!
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10-12-2005, 11:31 PM
Post: #6
Navitity Play - Chav Style
That's funny Bella.
I can just see Catherine Tate doing a sketch with that:laugh:

[Image: 429.gif]
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11-12-2005, 12:54 PM
Post: #7
Navitity Play - Chav Style
Maxine...some people use a babies dummy as a way of controlling their jabbering when hyped up on speed or ecstasy as well! :wink2: Read that in a book recently!

Me and my lodger were in fits the other day as we discussed the concept of the Chav bible....we started with the obvious Chav 10 commandments:

1) Yo shall not be seen wivout your cap on

2) Yo shall wear only those clothes which have de label of da beloved Burberry

3) Yo shall end every sentence wiv innit!

4) Yo shall loiter on street corners, public bogs and places where you can buy Burberry stuff

5) Yo shall wear excessive bling

6) Yo shall try and be American

7) Lads shall only date chicks wiv large earings, bottle blonde hair and anorexic hips and tum who chew gum wiv der mouth open and swear more than you

8) Chicks shall only date lads wiv da right Burberry gear and bling and a twenty year old peugeot 306 dat has been souped up to look like som'in out of da Fast and de Furious.

9) Yo shall only drink da Stella

10) Yo shall only drive a the vehicle mentioned in rule 8 or de number 36 bus

[Image: animated_shark184f200.gif] [Image: AniDive.gif][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="5"]Eeek! [/SIZE][/FONT][Image: yachtsink.gif] [SIZE="5"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Don't panic...I'll save you...oh dear![/FONT] [/SIZE]
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23-12-2005, 02:52 AM
Post: #8
Navitity Play - Chav Style
Aon, ever seen 'Ali G inda house'???

I guess I'm Cornish...:unsure:
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23-12-2005, 02:53 AM
Post: #9
Navitity Play - Chav Style
OOOPS...Bella that was hysterical!!!!!!!:w00t: :pimp:

I guess I'm Cornish...:unsure:
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23-12-2005, 05:37 AM
Post: #10
Navitity Play - Chav Style
http://www.chavscum.co.uk/name.php


go here and you can name your chav baby.

my "little girl" came out to be 'Sapphire Charity' and my "little boy" came out to be 'Kevin Gary'.Huh :pimp:

I guess I'm Cornish...:unsure:
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