Post Reply 
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Need some ideas...
15-08-2005, 07:56 AM
Post: #1
Need some ideas...

My sister's friend who is unable to have her own children has just taken on a long-term fostercare of a 6 year old little girl with a view to adopting her.

She has always bought gifts for me when I had the girls, I would like to buy her something for the little girl who has had a pretty awful life as her own mother was a drug addict, but not sure if it is the correct thing to do?

Any suggestions of what I should get her?

TRINITY JEWELLERY - DESIGNS THAT STAND OUT
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
15-08-2005, 08:44 AM
Post: #2
Need some ideas...
I wish your sister's friend all the very best Bella. I really admire her for doing this.

My brother and his wife adopted 2 year old twins a couple of years ago. They also had no other children. The girls were abused by their mother, although my brother won't go into detail. They did something really lovely, which you could maybe think of doing. She made a photo album of all the family members so that they could tell them all about us before they met us, hoping that it wouldn't be too daunting when they finally did.

They are now lovely well-adjusted normal little five year olds.
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
15-08-2005, 09:01 AM
Post: #3
Need some ideas...
I have admiration for them both too Patsy, it is a wonderful thing to do. Especially when the children in question have suffered so much. This little girl that my sister's friend & her husband have taken will never go back to her mother. She has been in and out of care and has gone back to the mother, who has always said that she has changed but never does. The court have now taken away any responsibility and she has no claim on her daughter. They are such a lovely couple and she especially adores babies, they have such a big heart and wish them all the very best.

What a lovely idea about the family album, it is a very touching idea. I know her quite well but don't know the rest of her family.

It's things like this that make you feel very humble indeed and also makes you feel very lucky.

I appreciate that there is child abuse/starvation going on in the world, it is just harder to accept that this sort of thing happens right on your doorstep.
Sad

TRINITY JEWELLERY - DESIGNS THAT STAND OUT
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
15-08-2005, 09:32 AM
Post: #4
Need some ideas...
I think anyone who fosters or adopts children, espeically the slightly older children who have had emotional upheaval and trauma in their lives are to be put on pedestals and worshipped. They have huge hearts and deserve so much luck and love.

Bella I have been having a little think about this, and allsorts went through my mind of appropriate and non appropriate presents.

When I was having a clearout of Jack's bedroom last week - I came across a wonderful book, it was a record of his whole school career from reception to the present day. Obviously there are unfinished pages, but I was think if this little girl is with this couple for the duration, then something that makes a stamp of permanence on her, may ease her little troubled life back to a balance of normality.

By giving her something that she can fill in anuually, and more often if she wishes, is sort of giving her a subliminal message that this book will always be with her and with the couple - she can look back with joy and fun when she is older to see how well she is progressing at school/clubs etc.

I always cook with wine, and sometimes I actually put it in the food.
[Image: pot002.gif]


Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
15-08-2005, 09:36 AM
Post: #5
Need some ideas...
I wish your sisters friend all the luck in the world Bella, I really admire anyone who fosters/adopts a child, especially one with a background like this little girl has. As I am not sure I would be able to. Hearing her story makes you realise how lucky you really are and makes all your little problems pale in to insignifigance (sp)

I think if I was you, I would buy the little girl, lots of girly bits and bobs (unless of course she is a tomboy, then I would have no idea) as most little girly girls like dressing up and making themselves look pretty.
Quote this message in a reply
15-08-2005, 09:50 AM
Post: #6
Need some ideas...
My best friend is a foster carer and over the years they have fostered lots of babies mainly until their adoption comes through. This has been particularly hard for them at times as they have had them from birth to age two or three sometimes and become very attached to them. Nine years ago they deceided to adopt one of the babies a little Downs Syndrome girl named Shannon.

They still have contact with most of the babies that have gone on to be adopted and the new parents have become their friends. I am full of admiration for them.

We gave Shannon a small welcome gift of a little jewellery box as the adoption didn't go through until she was about five and we had a party on the day of the adoption.
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
15-08-2005, 12:08 PM
Post: #7
Need some ideas...
Foster Carers are very special people! As most of you know I work for Social Services, well its actually in the Fostering Dept. I follow the process of all potential Foster Carers from the minute they show interest to when they get accepted at Panel, as well as dealing with the saints that are long term carers - I admire them greatly, and often accept words of wisdom when the brats are playing me up!

With regards to a gift, the photo album idea is a great one - I know that when a child is adopted or fostered they have a "Life Story" book which they fill in with details of their past and their new present/future - and from the children I have been involved with, I have realised what a very important part of their life it is.

My aunt was a foster carer for many years - and even now, her foster daughter is a mum herself, we class her as "our little cousin"........

All the best to your sis's friend hun!

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Time is never wasted when you are wasted all the time :pimp:[/FONT]
[Image: isis.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
15-08-2005, 07:15 PM
Post: #8
Need some ideas...
Might I suggest your taking a good photo of the little girl and her foster parents and putting it into a pretty picture frame so she can keep it with her and always know that she is loved.

[Image: animated_shark184f200.gif] [Image: AniDive.gif][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="5"]Eeek! [/SIZE][/FONT][Image: yachtsink.gif] [SIZE="5"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Don't panic...I'll save you...oh dear![/FONT] [/SIZE]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
15-08-2005, 08:09 PM
Post: #9
Need some ideas...
Adopting a child at six years old who has been in and out of care, whose mother is a drug addict, is a huge risk. Six in terms of emotional stability is very late. I know someone who did the same thing. They were the most wonderful caring, responsible parents you could possibly image but the child is now 14 and having run away from home several times after making horrendous accusations, which have since been proven false, has nowhere else to go but back into fulltime care. It's very sad but no one else will have her.

I hope your friends fare better and that they can change the way this child has probably learnt to think for the better.

Reassurance that you'll always be around to talk to should things go awry would be a nice present. Smile
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
16-08-2005, 08:31 AM
Post: #10
Need some ideas...
Thanks for your ideas, I think a "life" book or a photo-frame would be really nice and I can also get some wee girly things to give to the wee girl.

Foster parents are amazing, I think it must so hard to have to give up a child that you have looked after. I know you probably prepare yourself and you know what you are getting yourself into but it takes a special kind of person with a HUGE heart! It's fantastic what your friend is doing Maz and how wonderful that they adopted little Shannon.

Nox, my sister's friend has an added incentive as she does teach at a special needs school at which this little girl attends, so they both know each other and I hope that will help with the initial bonding. When they first applied to adopt they did state that they wanted a child from age 1-4 but for some reason these children were limited or given to more experienced foster carers, so they were offered this little girl.

It must be hard for a child to adapt to some kind of "normality" after being pulled around from pillar to post, and I can only hope that it works out for all parties concerned. Smile

TRINITY JEWELLERY - DESIGNS THAT STAND OUT
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Any Ideas? Mars 13 12,851 15-01-2009 04:39 PM
Last Post: Tigereye
  birthday pressie ideas dab 10 1,014 12-06-2005 11:44 PM
Last Post: Critique
  Ideas & scripts needed! Flip 13 1,456 16-05-2005 11:43 AM
Last Post: Flip

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)