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Partners and Porn
07-10-2005, 11:27 AM
Post: #1
Partners and Porn

How would you feel if you discovered that your partner was watching / reading porn covertly?

An acquaintence of mine has just discovered that her partner (who she is engaged to marry) has been surfing soft porn sites on a regular basis. She is absolutely distraught about it and is convinced that it is an indication that she isn't "enough" for him. She discovered this because their home PC has lots of porn sites in the history which she discovered by chance. She hasn't mentioned the discovery to him, but she was really quite upset about it.

I was quite surprised by her reaction, because honestly, I thought ALL men read / viewed porn to some extent :laugh: I'm sure they think about it! And I've always assumed that it is something separate from their "real life" - like a fantasy. Am I wrong?

Anyway, thats what I said to her. I also suggested that she should try and forget about it, or maybe ravish him in a bid to keep him focussed on her. She wasn't convinced and wanted to tackle him about it, so I suggested that she do so calmly and without sounding accusatory. Does that sound like good advice?

I don't know when I'll next see her to get an update but do you think I've said the right thing? Thining back, I don't think I took it as seriously as she thought I would and she may think I was being flippant.

Would you be very upset if it was your partner? Guys, I'd also be interested in your opinions to, as frankly you are in the best position to know whether my advice was right or not :laugh:

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
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07-10-2005, 11:39 AM
Post: #2
Partners and Porn
Myabe not every guy watches porn. But I certainly do...

Miss PJ has flicked through some of my porn mags before and although she said it was "disgusting", it doesn't bother her. Just like I don't bother with the calender of scantily clad 'firemen' in her bedroom.

We have even watched a porno together once. What a hilarious evening that was!

I don't however, look up porn sites on the internet for the simple fact that this computer is used by my whole family.

So I think you were right to tell your friend not to worry about it. Sounds like she's being a bit dramatic. It's when the porn starts interrupting with their social and sex lives that she should start to worry.

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="Red"]Before criticising someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes...[/COLOR]
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07-10-2005, 12:28 PM
Post: #3
Partners and Porn
Mr.B has never - in our time together watched or read porn. He doesnt like it .... and doesnt like the 'in his words' slapper image. He likes something to be left to the imagination. It really wouldnt bother me if he did read / watch something, i might even join in .... but it truly doesnt interest him.

He was the only bloke i know who turned the TV over when Baywatch came on :laugh:

Im sure he is unusual though.

I have looked at porn before, but very rarely as it doesnt float my boat either. I read a magazine once .... but found it all a little distasteful somehow - and i watched a film when i was about 15 years old with a friend of mine, and also it turned me on - i would be more turned on seeing Brad Pitt Huh

I'm not perfect, but im so close it scares me
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07-10-2005, 01:11 PM
Post: #4
Partners and Porn
It wouldn't bother me at all to find that out.

I agree with PJ, Karen, your friend is over reacting. I suggest she makes some light hearted comment about it. I don't think I'd ignore it because she'll just get more anxious about it and probably bring it up in some completely unrelated row.
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07-10-2005, 02:50 PM
Post: #5
Partners and Porn
The internet has created thousands of porn millionaires.

Amazon.com has never turned a profit!

Go figure! Cool

"You can put lipstick on a pig...but it's still a pig!!!"
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07-10-2005, 03:12 PM
Post: #6
Partners and Porn
I would not be in the least bothered - well I say wouldn't I am not. Or I wasn't - Mr F used to have loads of mags when we first met, and they were hidden. But when I found them I jsut said to him - there is no real need to hide them, cos I know and I don't mind.

Obviously with children around one has to be more careful!

I always cook with wine, and sometimes I actually put it in the food.
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07-10-2005, 03:20 PM
Post: #7
Partners and Porn
Ahh - I'm glad you agree with me. I was starting to think that maybe I was being insensitive. Maybe I shouldn't have laughed when she told me, but my first thought was that she was overreacting to something quite natural.

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07-10-2005, 05:04 PM
Post: #8
Partners and Porn
Mr M has always had magazines and films and it has never bothered me. used to watch some of the films years ago but found them very samey and boring and he got fed up with my comments like "if I was being filmed at least I would have made sure to have matching underwear".

So now I leave him to it but he only watches now and again these days. He hasn't found it on the pc and is not likely to as I have parental control on it that he wouldn't know how to remove. I don't let him near it much this is my domain.

I prefer a good romantic movie it does far more to turn me on. So I think your advice was right Karen even if she didn't think so.
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07-10-2005, 05:06 PM
Post: #9
Partners and Porn
karenh Wrote:Ahh - I'm glad you agree with me. I was starting to think that maybe I was being insensitive. Maybe I shouldn't have laughed when she told me, but my first thought was that she was overreacting to something quite natural.

Your reaction was quite right. She was, in my opinion, over-reacting. Maybe she is more concerned that he had a part of his life that he hadnt let her into? And she has seen it as him keeping secrets.

Personally, it wouldnt bother me in the least.
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07-10-2005, 05:10 PM
Post: #10
Partners and Porn
I post on a very adult porn site, it's just another forum really - and Mrs secrets doesn't mind.

I have met some of the people on there and they are not all sex mad swingers either.

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