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Pocket Money
28-12-2005, 07:36 AM
Post: #1
Pocket Money

A man goes into a bar with an ostrich and a cat.

The bar tender says, "What would you like Sir?"

The man says, "I'll have a pint of beer." He looks at the ostrich and says, "What will you have?"

"I'll have a pint of beer" says the ostrich.

He looks at the cat, "What will you have?"

"Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying."

"That will be $12.65" says the bartender. So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly $12.65.

The next day after work the man goes into the same bar. "What'll it be today?" says the bartender.

"Double whisky on the rocks" says the man.

He looks at the ostrich and says "What will you have?"

"I'll join him in a double whisky" says the ostrich.

He looks at the cat, "What will you have?"

"Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying" says the cat.

"That will be $21.95" says the bartender. So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly $21.95. The next day after work the man goes into the same bar. "Excuse me" the bartender says, "I was just wondering why, no matter what the price, you always have the exact change in your pocket?"

"Well" says the man, "when my grandmother died she left me everything in her house and inside there was a lamp. So I rubbed it and out popped a genie. It granted me three wishes. So I asked that every time I wanted to buy something I would have the exact change in my pocket".

"That's brilliant" says the bartender. "You'll never ever run out of money".

What else did you ask for?"

"A bird with long legs and a tight pússy"
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28-12-2005, 07:56 AM
Post: #2
Pocket Money
That's rude.....te-he! :laugh:

[Image: animated_shark184f200.gif] [Image: AniDive.gif][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="5"]Eeek! [/SIZE][/FONT][Image: yachtsink.gif] [SIZE="5"][FONT="Comic Sans MS"]Don't panic...I'll save you...oh dear![/FONT] [/SIZE]
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28-12-2005, 08:59 AM
Post: #3
Pocket Money
That started my day with a laugh thanks.
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28-12-2005, 01:43 PM
Post: #4
Pocket Money
This is one of my all time favourite jokes and no matter how many times I hear it makes me laugh! Thank you Seabreeze :laugh:

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="Red"]Before criticising someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes...[/COLOR]
[/SIZE]
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29-12-2005, 05:29 PM
Post: #5
Pocket Money
Naughty jokes are the best jokes. Good one! *runs off to tell everyone the joke but remembers that it's 4:30am and everyone is asleep*
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29-12-2005, 05:32 PM
Post: #6
Pocket Money
JakeyBoy Wrote:Naughty jokes are the best jokes. Good one! *runs off to tell everyone the joke but remembers that it's 4:30am and everyone is asleep*
For god's sake if its 4.30am WHY ARE YOU NOT ASLEEP???:shocking:
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29-12-2005, 05:36 PM
Post: #7
Pocket Money
It's the holidays and for some strange reason I can't fall asleep. Maybe because of the heat...
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29-12-2005, 05:38 PM
Post: #8
Pocket Money
JakeyBoy Wrote:It's the holidays and for some strange reason I can't fall asleep. Maybe because of the heat...
Oh right...

I am gutted for you that you cant sleep because of the heat I am freezing my proverbial nuts off here:ranting:
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29-12-2005, 05:43 PM
Post: #9
Pocket Money
Hahaha - Off to the pools tomorrow for a all-day swim. 40 degrees on Saturday so it's gonna be a good New Years Eve.
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29-12-2005, 05:48 PM
Post: #10
Pocket Money
JakeyBoy Wrote:Hahaha - Off to the pools tomorrow for a all-day swim. 40 degrees on Saturday so it's gonna be a good New Years Eve.

ah shaddupppa ya face:wink2:
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