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Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
11-05-2008, 10:32 PM
Post: #1
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review

This is my first post here, so I'll explain what is going to happen.

I'm going to post a series of reviews for various things; movies, albums, singles. They're taken from two places; my Amazon account and my own website.

Hope you like them.

Anyway... onto this weeks number one album..

Jump all over this CD.

Dear God, what did we do to deserve Scooter? What terrible deed has modern man committed to bring on this terrible wrath; an onslaught from a band that, by all that is good and holy, should surely have been a one-hit wonder, but instead have survived and bombarded us with track after track that ALL SOUND THE SAME.

Let me explain, to those blessed few who have escaped the tone-deaf dirge that is a Scooter song. Scooter are, shudder, a German techno band, and there are basically two songs that this lot have (if you don't count the unintentional hilarity of the slow "rock" song "I Was Made For Loving You Baby", where the singer walks around with a guitar, pretending he even knows what one is. He might as well be carrying a surf board). Anyway, there is the Standard Scooter Song - that being a repetitive, heavy beat with the singer basically shouting random things for three minutes. Then there is the Sampled Scooter Song (something that has seen them gain some success in the UK), and that is a repetitive, heavy beat with the singer basically shouting random things... with a chorus from an old song shoved in but with the vocals replaced with something you'd get from sucking a helium balloon.

And that, my friends, is IT. If you don't believe me, check out their videos on Youtube. You almost expect to see the singer blushing as he churns out the same identikit drivel time and time again and still getting away with it after all these years. Yes, the singer is beginning to look a bit like a wax droid nowadays, but the formula, and the songs, are still exactly the same.

But HOW do Scooter get away with it? Surely someone, somewhere must have realised that this talentless band of chancers have flogged their one trick ponies to death? Surely someone who buys Scooter records must have caught on by now? Well, see, there in lies the problem.

Because here's the secret; people who buy Scooter records are IDIOTS.

Take a listen to some of their songs. Are you telling me there's someone with intelligence listening to that? Are you telling me that someone who actually likes MUSIC would own a Scooter record? Or have you, like me, come to the conclusion that Scooter can peddle the same garbage year in, year out, because the people who listen to it are either pilled out their empty heads or too stupid to realise they're being fooled in the first place?

That people are still listening to this instantly dated trash in the year 2008 is beyond depressing. Pray the Curse of Scooter is lifted soon.

Original review found at http://www.thecurmudgeon.proboards88.com
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12-05-2008, 06:57 PM
Post: #2
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
I have used up 10 minutes of my time to read your 'reviews'....just one question 'Is there a band/group/artist that your actually like or do you intend to just post negative reviews on here?'
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12-05-2008, 07:03 PM
Post: #3
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
Negative reviews just now.. positive if you're lucky.

Don't abuse children, or else they'll turn out like me.
http://www.thecurmudgeon.proboards88.com - The site to save your life.
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12-05-2008, 07:06 PM
Post: #4
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
The Curmudgeon Wrote:Negative reviews just now.. positive if you're lucky.

Can't waitSleepySleepy
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12-05-2008, 09:21 PM
Post: #5
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
I can understand why you'd be asleep. Every third word I write doesn't end in "LOL" and I don't finish every sentence with a smiley emoticon (which, by the way, aren't in the least bit tedious at all). So I can understand why my reviews are over your head. Don't worry about it. I think someone in the next thread has a little "thumbs up" emoticon though - why not join in there?

Don't abuse children, or else they'll turn out like me.
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12-05-2008, 09:29 PM
Post: #6
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
:assshake:






.
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12-05-2008, 09:41 PM
Post: #7
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
Yeah.

Those things just get funnier and funnier don't they?

Don't abuse children, or else they'll turn out like me.
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12-05-2008, 09:46 PM
Post: #8
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
The Curmudgeon Wrote:I can understand why you'd be asleep. Every third word I write doesn't end in "LOL" and I don't finish every sentence with a smiley emoticon (which, by the way, aren't in the least bit tedious at all). So I can understand why my reviews are over your head. Don't worry about it. I think someone in the next thread has a little "thumbs up" emoticon though - why not join in there?

Quite right Curm!

Well said.

It' about time the coffee morning gang around here were given something to think about for a change!

"You can put lipstick on a pig...but it's still a pig!!!"
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12-05-2008, 09:53 PM
Post: #9
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
Thank you.

And don't call me "Curm."

Don't abuse children, or else they'll turn out like me.
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12-05-2008, 09:54 PM
Post: #10
Scooter - Jumping All Over The World - Review
:offtopic:



.
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