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Soulja Boy - Crank Dat - Review
13-05-2008, 01:24 AM
Post: #1
Soulja Boy - Crank Dat - Review

Music for the apocalypse

Really, how could you listen to this and NOT want the world to end? When you listen to it and you realise that this tuneless, charmless, brainless mess was not only a major hit, it was a number one smash in America for SEVEN WEEKS, you simply do not want to live on the planet that made this possible anymore.

To think that there are people who not only BOUGHT this, but consider it "music" is not only depressing, it's also deeply alarming. "Crunk", that most tedious of hip-hop genres, has been responsible for some dire music to reach the mainstream over the years. Well, there's Fatman Scoop for one. But even he looks good - hell - he looks like Dylan compared to this idiot; Soulja Boy - with a name like that, who could resist not hating him already?

Back to the song. So not only are the lyrics repetitive, mundane and meaningless, it also has a boring, flat, God-awful beat that makes anyone with more than five brain-cells want to kill every single person responsible for this garbage.

Really - is THIS music now? Does this represent ANY culture? Does this speak or mean anything to ANYONE? Of course it doesn't - but look - it has a little DANCE that people can do. Instant Kerchiiiing moment for the morons.

So yes, it's basically the 2007 equivalent of the Cha-Cha Slide - another number one song by a one-hit wonder that is now forever labelled under The Worst Songs Ever List.

Take note, Soulja Boy; that's your future right there.

Original review found at

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