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Spice Girls - Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)
13-05-2008, 02:36 PM
Post: #1
Spice Girls - Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)


Comeback: It's been THE word of 2007, hasn't it, true believers? Acts big and small, both beloved and forgotten, have decided to sing the songs that brought them to the dance in the first place, to cast aside petty in-band squabbles from long ago and give the fans what they want.

So, Led Zeppelin - are back! Take That - are back! Rage Against The Machine - are back! Smashing Pumpkins - are back! Kind of.

And now The Spice Girls - are back. Just what absolutely no one wanted.

At least, that's what I assumed would be the case. But check it out - every ticket for their comeback tours sold out in mere minutes. Why, the world must be gagging for more. And certainly the five girls will be gagging for more money and more exposure and column inches than they've had in years. Geri Halliwell hasn't released a record since her last dive-bombed, Emma Bunton's last album didn't break the top 60, nor did Mel C's (self-financed) effort, Victoria is.. well, glossy magazine idiot fodder at best, famous for nothing nowadays. And Scary? I doubt she remembers the words "hit" and "record" can actually go in the same sentence.

But the truth will out - and those tickets that sold out so quickly appear to have been snapped up by the very scum of the earth - that's ticket touts to you and me - and now they're practically having to give them away on eBay, at a quarter of the original price they paid for them. Quite simply the best news that can come from this whole debacle, really. Nothing beats seeing a tout get shafted.

And what of THIS song, "Headlines", the big comeback single that was supposed to bring in another era of, ahem ahem, "Girl Power?" Well, it sucks. Not in a "oh well, it's not great" kind of way, but in a "dear God, is that IT?" kind of way. It's beyond boring. Bland squared, and just a chore to sit through. You'd think a bit more EFFORT would have been put into pop's biggest comeback, wouldn't you? Well, the Spice's didn't, and the sales reflected the song - dismal.

Remember, this was the OFFICIAL song for the annual suckfest that is Children In Need, and it's been a long tradition for pop acts to jump upon the CIN bandwagon for an almost guaranteed number one hit. And so the Spice Girls tried.. and failed, with Headlines becoming the least successful Children In Need single EVER, not scoring number one - or even hitting the top ten.

Might I add that I was actually a bit of a fan of the Spice Girls first time around. As plastic as Barbie Dolls, sure, but they brought a sense of fun back into pop music, and the people who pulled their respective strings did it very well indeed, capturing the imagination of pretty much everyone who liked pop records.

Time hasn't been kind, of course. AFter a string of failed solo careers, this latest big bucks venture will not only see the very end of the Spice Girls, it will sour and taint a very impressive legacy, not just of chart positions, but of pretty decent pop singles too. It would be a shame if this were a comeback from the heart, but it's perfectly clear that this comeback (which some, especially Sporty, didn't even want to do) was all about cash. Well, you made some for yourselves, girls - pity you couldn't have scraped up some more for those kids in need, hmm?

Here are tonight's Headlines, girls: No One Cares Anymore.

Don't abuse children, or else they'll turn out like me. - The site to save your life.
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