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Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
03-10-2005, 02:50 PM
Post: #1
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'

Looks like bad news for working parents...

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/health_...316677.ece

Quote:Toddlers who are looked after by their mothers do significantly better in developmental tests than those cared for by nurseries, childminders or relatives, according to a study to be published today.

The findings will show that those given nursery care fared worst. They exhibited higher levels of aggression and were inclined to become more compliant, withdrawn or sad.

Does anyone agree with these findings? Is this a slap in the face for working parents (and especially working mums I guess)? Or is it another case of someone distorting statistics in order to push their point of view on us?

Myself, I can see that if a child's in a nursery and only getting a small amount of attention (because there's lots of kids per adult) then that might have a bad effect on them. On the other hand, going to nursery is good for a child's social development (ie they learn to interact with other kids), many nurseries offer really good care and early education, and being in nursery has surely got to be better than being stuck in front of the tv all day by some parent that doesn't care...

I wonder if those kids looked after their mothers appear to do better because of some difference in their environment - in other words it's not the mother-care that's helping the kids do better, it's something else.

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03-10-2005, 05:02 PM
Post: #2
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
Interesting point Mik. I have had both worlds, the eldest was a nanny/nursery child and the youngest was with me 24/7.

I don't know how they will eventually turn out - but both seem to be socially adept, and bright as buttons! I suspect they have just ignored me as a mother and just inherited my genes!!

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03-10-2005, 05:24 PM
Post: #3
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
In my humble opinion toddlers need a balance. They should be home with Mum, but a couple of hours twice a week in a creche or nursery will also do them good with the interacting, and prepare them better for school.


I know a lot of schools (mine included) start 3 year olds full time at school, some take to it well, but others are just not ready. I am proof of that after an episode tonight where I had a 3 year old clinging to me for 1/2 hour sobbing his little heart out till he fell asleep from exhaustion. That to me is so wrong as to be criminal. That child still needs to be with his Mum, he has not been prepared for school, and it breaks my heart - plus all the other children get upset as they know from the crying that that child is hurting.

I do believe that if you have children it's your duty to put them first, introduce them slowly to changes, and make sure they are happy. Then you can have some of your life back.

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04-10-2005, 08:28 AM
Post: #4
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
My toddler is looked after full time by her dad.

Oh lord I shall surely perish in hell. :glare:

Tsk.

Yeah, I could stay home full time with her, but we'd be living in a bedsit eating beans on toast. I'd be miserable, she'd be miserable and we'd all be skint.

People do what people have to do to get by - reports like this make my blood boil - grrrrrr.

See, me being angry -------->:ranting:


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04-10-2005, 08:40 AM
Post: #5
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
These report change all the time - it wasn't that long ago that they were saying that children who stayed at home with a parent until they were one, then went to nursery were better than children who stayed at home full-time with a parent.

Each child is different and each child will respond differently to wherever they are.

I have seen children who have been with a parent full-time at home being distraught at leaving them and clinging to them, same as I have seen children who have been in nursery.

I think these reports are bad, some mothers need to work or want to. What good is a mother is she simply doesn't want to be a full-time carer, you don't see the press sounding off about fathers going out to work. I was talking to one woman at toddlers last week, her husband works in Nigeria for 6 weeks, then he is home for 2 weeks. Can you imagine the outcry if that was the mother doing that?

I listen to what they these reports say with a pinch of salt. Do they do it to make those who go out work guilty and those who stay at home smug? I would like to know how many children they tested their theories on and which part of the country this report was carried out in before I make any reall judgement.

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04-10-2005, 08:52 AM
Post: #6
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
floopy Wrote:My toddler is looked after full time by her dad.

Oh lord I shall surely perish in hell. :glare:

Tsk.

Yeah, I could stay home full time with her, but we'd be living in a bedsit eating beans on toast. I'd be miserable, she'd be miserable and we'd all be skint.

People do what people have to do to get by - reports like this make my blood boil - grrrrrr.

See, me being angry -------->:ranting:


I can't imagine it makes a difference if it's the father or mother as long as the parent is nurturing.

I'm with Eternity, I think there does need to be a balance, and sorry if I offend anyone on here, it does break my heart to see a child shipped out to a nursery for full days, every day. I understand that some mothers do need to work and cannot help having to leave their child. That is the way life is. But I do have a problem with mother's who choose to work full-time just so they can have luxuries in their lives. Not so bad the mother who feels she needs to work for her own sanity doing part-time work. At least there is some semblance of balance.

Some children are able to handle the whole nursery deal, as they might have innate strong characters, but there are other children whose characters might be less strong who cannot deal with it quite as well. So I guess a lot has to do with the inborn characteristics of a child as to whether it would be detrimental or not. That's why these studies are quite sweeping and generalised. Each child is an individual and it's impossible to clump them together in one group.

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04-10-2005, 09:16 AM
Post: #7
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
tigger767 Wrote:I can't imagine it makes a difference if it's the father or mother as long as the parent is nurturing.

I can't imagine so either, but then again it's not the fathers who are being castigated as bad parents who are inhibiting their child's development by not being there, is it?


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04-10-2005, 09:49 AM
Post: #8
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
Everything Floops says.

Just dump on the mums. More guilt over here please!
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04-10-2005, 10:02 AM
Post: #9
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
If this the case why are single mums given such a hard time? They are told to go out to work and not sponge of the state but if they then do go out to work, they have now been told that their child is going to suffer! Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I am a stay-at-home mum but I do think that these people who make up these reports should just back off. Being a parent can be a tough but very rewarding job regardless to whether you work full-time, part-time or no-time, the last thing people need is some jumped up journalist, psycho-analyst telling everyone they are doing the wrong thing!

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04-10-2005, 10:07 AM
Post: #10
Toddlers looked after by mothers 'develop better'
Like Bella i take reports like this with a pinch of salt.

For one thing, if you take an individual child who has been tyo nursery, you have no way of knowing how differently that particular child would have turned out if they had stayed at home with mum.

In my opinion nursery is good for children because it gets them use to a different environment from the home one, and encourages them to interact with other kids and adults - good preparation for school and life in general.

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