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Wednesday, 22nd November Show
22-11-2006, 11:15 PM (This post was last modified: 22-11-2006 11:29 PM by Pandora.)
Post: #1
Wednesday, 22nd November Show

Morning broke in camp and goodness me, what a difference a couple of days without food make. The women in Snake Camp were positively brimming over with good humour, dancing, singing and positivity.

Back in Base Camp, we were greeted to the sight of Dean Gaffney crawling from under his sleeping bag, digging up his nose using the fingers of both hands, looking rougher than Ive ever seen him (and thats really saying something). Jason Donovan is deathly pale and looks ten years older, David Gest can barely get out of bed, such is his weight loss (he actually doesnt look well), and all of the guys looked weak, wan, dirty, miserable, dishevelled and unshaven. The girls, by contrast, after a lovely seafood meal the night before, looked like theyd just stepped out of a spa.....

The Bushtucker trial began with Scott v Jan. It was the usual eating trial and Scott was determined to win it; he said he had "the eye of the tiger :nerd: !!!!" in the Bush Tucker Telegraph, but to be honest it just looked like conjunctivitis to me.

They began with live locusts. Jan took one look and said with disdain, "not doing that...." and Scott agreed, he wasnt doing it either.

Second star was vomit fruit, which Scott and Jan both did. Scott nearly vommed though.

Third star was silk worms (I think). Jan wouldnt do it, but Scott ate one (it was only small) so he was one star ahead.

Fourth star was a witchity grub smoothy which looked disgusting. Like gritty muddy horrible stuff in a rather large cup. They had to drink the lot and boy did it look thick. Both of them did it, Jan in considerably more style, and Scott nearly vommed again but managed it.

Last plate was worth two stars and consisted of : kangaroo testicle, kangaroo penis, kangaroo tongue and kangaroo anus. Jan refused point blank to touch it. Scott tried the kanga tongue and had to spit it on the floor.

Scott won three stars for his camp and came back the hero. The girls welcomed Jan back and all said they didnt blame her for refusing to do most of the trial.
The boys won emu sausages (which David refused to eat), vegs and fruit. Matt said worriedly, upon seeing the food, "this potato is really, really soft....", to which Jason said, "ummm mate? thats actually a mango ..." Huh

David Gest is actually looking quite ill at the moment. He cant stomach the rice and beans and is barely eating anything now. His t shirt is hanging off his frame and he has lost an immense amount of weight.

The treasure chest trial was between Myleene/Phina and Toby/Dean. They were told before the start that the reward was a bottle of champagne and a huge bar of chocolate.
Personally Id have carried Myleene AND Phina through the jungle at 30mph for a bar of chocolate at this juncture, and once told what the contents of the chest were, they were ALL up for it.
The task involved having to carry a heavy life size dummy (attached to a rope) through the jungle and disentangle it from logs, trees, scrub, bushes, rocks etc.
It was incredibly close run thing. Myleene and Phina were going mental trying to win it, and Toby and Dean just managed to beat them.

The boys returned, triumphant, with their treasure chest and everyone was whooping with joy at the thought of the contents. The question to answer was "according to a survey, who is the more likely to pass their driving test first? men or women?"
As usual, they were like a bull at a gate in answering, and instead of thinking it through, they said "WOMEN!", opened the chest and realised they had got the question wrong.
It was at this point I thought David Gest was going to go into the jungle and hang himself, and Matt from Busted was going to spontaneously combust with the amount of foul language he used.

The lads comforted themselves by burning the faces of Torville and Dean in the fire (their pics were in the chest), and whooping really loudly so the girls would think theyd won the choccie and champers.

A quick montage of clips of the Bush Telegraph was shown, with most of the contestants sobbing and saying how much they were missing their loved ones. Lauren Booth burst into tears in the camp (real big boo-hooey ones) which promptly set Faith off.

Finally, I cant really remember exactly HOW this started (so forgive me if Ive got it a bit wrong), but while everyone was sat around the campfire, Phina and Jan started bickering.

Phina was basically saying how grateful they were that Jan had done so well in the trials and theyd got so much to eat and thats why they were looking and feeling better than the men.
Unfortunately the professional victim that is Jan cannot seem to stand another woman being pleasant to her, so she contrived to turn what was a nice conversation into a confrontation.

It went something like this :-

Jan : look I know Ive done well but I wish theyd pick someone else, Im sick of being humiliated.

Phina (and others) : no no its not about that, you are entertaining. its not about humiliation, you are entertaining.

Jan (getting steely eyed): So Im a laughing stock now am I???????

Phina : (through gritted teeth) No, thats not what I said, I said......

Jan : thats EXACTLY what you are saying. I can just see them at home saying, oh lets bring the posh bird down, lets give her all the tasks, lets f**in well humiliate her.......

Phina : No, for gods sake Jan.....

Faith : Phina was being NICE Jan......

Jan started grizzling and said to Phina accusingly, "and now YOU'VE gone and done it havent you......"

(blank looks all around)

Jan : "Yes YOU'VE managed to make me swear. Theyve all heard the newsreader say the eff word at home. YOU made me say the eff word !"

Phina : Errrr no Jan. YOU said the eff word. I did not make you. I dont have that power. Start taking responsibility for your own actions for gods sake. (ie stop blaming everyone else for your behaviour you bloody victim).

Jan dissolves into tears and Myleene starts giving her a pep talk and hugging her as Jan whinges and cries and blames everyone for the argument but herself.

Finally Phina cracked, looked up to the sky and said, "Lord Jesus have mercy, please, please, please get me out of this conversation before I kick this womans head in........"

Jan promptly turned on the tears again, and squeaked, "Im an outsider here (mainly due to her OWN behaviour), and people sing songs I know nothing about and everyones so bitchy......."

Faith jumped in and said, "sorry???? who has been bitchy????" at which point Jan immediately stopped the tears, and positively GLARED at Faith who looked shocked and shouted, "WHAT was THAT look for??????????"

Jan promptly turned on the tears again and Myleene started comforting her again, telling her to stop it and drop the subject.

I think by this time Id have been ripping branches off the trees and beating her to death with them.

After that little drama we have the Bushtucker trial tomorrow. Whoever wins it will win immunity for their group. Ant said its the final head to head trial, so it makes me wonder if they will all be back together soon?

Anyway the trial involves underwater swimming underneath a perspex sealed lake. Obviously there are crocs, snakes and critters in there too.

The public voted Phina and Scott to do the task. I think Phina will be incredibly fired up for this, as she is so competitive. Scott just looked crestfallen, which serves him right, the snippy little cheat.Smile

Liking the cut of your jib.........[Image: aniburns.gif]
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23-11-2006, 08:22 AM
Post: #2
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
Great report Pan:good:
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23-11-2006, 09:03 AM
Post: #3
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
Woo-woo, back on top form Pan! :applause:

I am starting to feel a bit sorry for Jan but couldn't believe it when she said that her agent told her that Austrailian delights would not be real!! I have a feeling that there will be one agent looking for a new job when Jan gets out of the jungle.........I really would not want to be in his/her shoes when she gets hold of them!

Jan is one of those people who take everything at face value, Phina wasn't being nasty but Jan decided that she was and made a huge deal of it making the whole thing worse than it really was! If there is anything that she can take away from the jungle then she should try & learn to laugh at herself.

In a way I was quite pleased that she refused to eat anything from the table, the GBP should never have voted her in the first place. However Scott's melodramatics made him deserve to get voted again for the next BTT. He is going to struggle in this one, if he can't handle crickets & earthworms in his pants I very much doubt he will cope with a lake full of crocs & snakes! He will probably end up being the first to go! :applause:

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23-11-2006, 09:20 AM
Post: #4
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
I was suprised when David wouldnt eat the sausage. He said he didnt like them because they gave him constipation. Well, sorry, but i bet he has that already after all those beans / rice ..... and if he were THAT hungry he would of eaten anything.

As for the question about men or women passing their driving tests first time. Mr.B (driving instructor) said it was women. It is a known fact. When it came up men he thought it was a fix.

I'm not perfect, but im so close it scares me
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23-11-2006, 06:22 PM
Post: #5
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
Brilliant write up Pan, how on earth do you remember it all so well. I discuss it with my mate at work the next day but we never remember all those details.

Phina will win easily she is very focused and her sister said on the ITV2 show that she was a very good swimmer so I just can't see her losing epecially up against wimpy Scott.
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23-11-2006, 06:38 PM
Post: #6
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
Bonsai Wrote:it was women. It is a known fact.

Mind you see last lines of this

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23-11-2006, 06:51 PM
Post: #7
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
LAUREN: (crying) I miss my kids so much. Why did I even come here?

I might be going out on a limb here, but I'd say a £20k cheque would do it.

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="Red"]Before criticising someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes...[/COLOR]
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23-11-2006, 09:51 PM
Post: #8
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
mazwad Wrote:Phina will win easily she is very focused and her sister said on the ITV2 show that she was a very good swimmer so I just can't see her losing epecially up against wimpy Scott.

Bluddy 'ell! What a dammed wimp that guy is, what the heck is he doing there at all??:evilmad:
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23-11-2006, 10:43 PM
Post: #9
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
He is in there because they need a bitch in camp and he fits the bill nicely. It would be boring if they were all being too nice so I am glad he wasn't voted out tonight. Maybe at last those that vote are learning to leave in the nastier characters for our entertainment.
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24-11-2006, 09:17 AM
Post: #10
Wednesday, 22nd November Show
survivorfan Wrote:Mind you see last lines of this
Awwww thanks SF. I just knew that someone with more time on their hands than me would look that up. I will rush home tonight and tell Mr.B what you have done, and im sure he will be eternally grateful that the wrong he has been thinking all these years has been put right.

Thank you, thank you.

I'm not perfect, but im so close it scares me
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