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Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
11-05-2005, 12:51 PM
Post: #1
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans

Everyone can whinge here about colleague probs or friend annoyances.


Oh god, i know i keep going on, but im really getting annoyed with this new woman who is working here.

Its just her personality. I mean, im longing for the time when Julie (the cow who left when i joined) was here. At least she HAD a personality. I dread being left alone with this woman as i know ill feel like slapping her or running away screaming.

I cant even put into words how irritating this woman is. She moans about everything. Every day she tells me about her woes, and how hard she is finding it getting to work because she has three children !!! Im sure it is hard, but thats hardly the companies fault. She chose to work here - about 1/2 hrs drive from her home. Also, her kids arent small, they are teenagers. Aparently this morning her eldest (who is 18) had a cold, so she had trouble getting him out of bed - hence why she was late :mellow: HE IS 18 YEARS OLD, HE CAN GET HIMSELF OUT OF BED. She is always late getting to work, but doesnt apologise.

Today she asked if she could have an 1.5hrs lunch. I said it was up to her, but the bosses wouldnt like it if they found out. She turned around to me and said "so you always do what the bosses say" and i said "yes, because they pay our wages". I mean the woman has only been working her a week.

She is rude too. When im eating my lunch she permanently interupts me. I would NEVER do that. I would try and get on with the work i can until the other persons lunch is over, and then ask. I would only ask if the work was urgent and had to leave the office asap. I made her a drink this morning and she didnt say thanks. She will ask a question which i take time and effort into answering and she doesnt thank me. Just turns on her heels and walks off.

She just irritates me.

Theres lots more i could say, but im boring myself now :wacko:

I'm not perfect, but im so close it scares me
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11-05-2005, 02:08 PM
Post: #2
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
Bonnie you do seem to have your unfair share of unhelpful and rude colleagues and I really don't know why cos you are a complete pussy cat?

If I were you I would just constantly smile at her, be absolutley lovely to her, laugh at her jokes, sympathise with her moans, and this way you are setting her an example of how to behave. Someone has to start to educate rude and ungrateful people how to conduct themselves in compnay and at work - and as you are a sweetheart I think you should take this challenge on. Treat it as a challenge and if in a fortnight none of your behaviour towards her has rubbed off on her - spit in her coffee!!

I always cook with wine, and sometimes I actually put it in the food.
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11-05-2005, 02:36 PM
Post: #3
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
Its not really a work colleague thing but I got annoyed with my next door neighbour a bit. See what you think. I am on passing the time of day terms with them but we are not really that matey as we are a different age group. They went on holiday last year and she came and asked if I would move their wheelie bins down on bin day and water their garden. I was a bit taken aback by this because as I say we say hello but are not that friendly but I am a good neighbour so I humped her bins down for her (mine are on an incline but hers are stepped). I am not a young woman. I also lugged my hose round to hers and soaked her garden every other day as the weather was very hot. I myself would have brought someone a present for doing this but I just expected her to knock and have the manners to say thanks. Not a word. Then about a month later she heard me in the back garden and shouted "by the way thanks for doing our bins and stuff" like I was the janitor. I was fuming!
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11-05-2005, 02:49 PM
Post: #4
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
MariaRob Wrote:I was fuming!

Im not suprised. I would be too. The few occasions we have asked neighbours to water our garden i have always brought them back a bottle of something nice with a huge thank you.

I bet you wont do it again for them in a hurry.



And Flippy - thank you for your kind words. I am being SUPER polite to her, and hopefully she will get the message. We have another girl who works here who is a complete poppet, and this new women tried slagging her off to me this afternoon :boxing: I wasnt going to stand for that so i told her that she was completely wrong in her assessment and maybe she should attempt to get to know her better.


Going back to neighbours, one of mine is annoying, but not for anything he has said but the state of his garden !!!! His front lawn is like a forrest and i think it makes our garden look bad (even though ours is lovely). The same goes for his back lawn. He has so much rubbish out there, including his old kitchen units strewn all over it - and it must be rat heaven. I hope they dont come into my yard very often :mellow:

I'm not perfect, but im so close it scares me
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11-05-2005, 02:52 PM
Post: #5
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
I think the answer is to be able to tell her straight that she is giving you a problem, and to let her know what you'd like her to do differently, but in a way that doesn't offfend her. What I mean is that you have to work on yourself first, to find a way to do it - it's a form of self-assertion really, but by being firm and reasonable rather than having a go at her.

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11-05-2005, 03:50 PM
Post: #6
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
survivorfan Wrote:I think the answer is to be able to tell her straight that she is giving you a problem, and to let her know what you'd like her to do differently, but in a way that doesn't offfend her. What I mean is that you have to work on yourself first, to find a way to do it - it's a form of self-assertion really, but by being firm and reasonable rather than having a go at her.

Oh, i definately wouldnt have a go at her. Its not something i could do. I just quietly stew, and vent my anger on here :ninja:

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11-05-2005, 05:27 PM
Post: #7
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
survivorfan Wrote:I think the answer is to be able to tell her straight that she is giving you a problem, and to let her know what you'd like her to do differently, but in a way that doesn't offfend her. What I mean is that you have to work on yourself first, to find a way to do it - it's a form of self-assertion really, but by being firm and reasonable rather than having a go at her.

I agree sf - but with the woman having only worked there a couple of days - Bonnie has yet to assess her fully.

In the meantime, lead by example, but I agree the assertive route is often the best, as long as it is handled correctly. I am really quite pants at assertiveness, although I am getting better - and maybe Bonnie needs to do it once or twice in 'safe environments' to get a feel for it - then it may come easier in a RL situation.

I always cook with wine, and sometimes I actually put it in the food.
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11-05-2005, 05:40 PM
Post: #8
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
O what a brilliant idea for a thread.

I live in student halls at the moment in a flat of 14 so there is occasion we don't see eye to eye. But theres somethings you just don't say. My estranged husband (I love him, I just can't live with him) is popping in next week on his way back up north. So I (typical student) have conned him into buying me tea.

Anyway walking back from college I mentioned to one of my flatmates that he was popping in and her reply was "just time for a quickie" (and she did'nt mean cup of tea). Am really finding whole thing difficult at the moment, especially PMT making me cry and could'nt beleive she said it. PMT said I should swing for her, brain said that she did'nt understand she had said something wrong and to fill sorry for her that she was non-meaningful sex obsessed.
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11-05-2005, 06:01 PM
Post: #9
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
Aww, Bonnie poor you and to be honest I think this woman has a bit of cheek! She has only just started and appears to be getting her feet well & truly under the table! How old is she? I was going to say you could maybe go out with her one lunch-time, you might find that she is different away from work but then maybe that won't work either as she still might complain about everything and then consider you to be the person to dump all her complaints on to. It is difficult working with someone you resent, been there, done that, wore the t-shirt and the best thing to do as Flip says, rise above, smile and keep out of her way, remain polite and be as tactful as you can be.

On the point of neighbours, most of you know the story of our neighbour upstairs. We are back on speaking terms again and life is a lot better and have to say that even when I told her that we were leaving I felt a wee bit emotional. She even said that despite everything that happened that she would be sad to see us go but is delighted for us getting a house with a garden. I am glad that we managed to sort it out eventually and accept that we both were at fault. It is my only regret that I have had with my neighbours.

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11-05-2005, 06:02 PM
Post: #10
Work Colleagues / Friend Moans
Bonsai Wrote:Oh, i definately wouldnt have a go at her. Its not something i could do. I just quietly stew, and vent my anger on here :ninja:

Bonsai you sound just like me. I have a problem with having a go a people too. Unless someone has really offended me to my face I find it hard to have a go back. I also sit and stew.
There is a woman at my work who I loathe, three in fact (I'm not a bad person honest!) One is a bullying bitch and the other two hang around with her (even though they don't like her) becasue she's better off as a friend than an enemy.
She has caused me so many problems but as most of it is done in a devious way behind my back I find it hard to confront her.
I worked last weekend and much to everyone's amusment it was just the two of us in. Ithough this could be my chance to say something to her as there would be no audience. She has a sickly habbit of pretending that there isn't a problem, being nice to my face asking me questions, I thought the next time she asks me anything that isn't work related- this is my chance to tell her that I don't like her and why.
We were working in different rooms most of the day, but just before leaving it started chucking it down with hail and rain and she said to me you're not driving to your boyfriends are you in weather like this?
In my head I'd rehersed what I was going to say if she asked me anything of a personal nature. A bit OTT you might think but believe me, she is a nasty bitch and has caused me a lot of distress, why should we all pretend there isn't a problem.
But to my dismay I heard myself saying "yes but I don't mind."
Afterwards I was cursing myself to get some balls and tell her straight not to act as if nothing had happened between us. It would be so much easier if she was nasty to my face, cos then I'd be able to give as good as I get, I can be fierce if provoked.
but she had that pleasant sickly voice on that she does so well! I find it hard to be aggressive or direct when someone is being nice to me.
I want to yell cut the crap!
Bonsai I know just how you feel. It's hard isn't it.

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