Woodstock
28-01-2005, 02:03 AM
Emporium presentation to all forum members (...who notice it...)
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Members of the Forum, (.....dim the lights please.......I thank yo...)
Now that you are all seated and I have your undivided attention, may I present to you our forthcoming plans for the Woodstock Emporium. Many of you will by now have been informed and fully aware that the Video Store venture collapsed before Grand Opening Day. Much of the stock was looted and there is a nationwide police-manhunt for those responsible for such despicable acts of criminality. I am pleased to say that in addition to the funds now available from insurance coverage, this latest undertaking will also be financed by Dom Joly and Christopher Walken in unison with myself. Mr Joly (no relation to Angelina....) will be responsible for overseeing the implementation of an extensive variety of costumes and outfits that shall be worn by future colleagues throughout the entire network of the Emporium. Mr Walken, whom was kind enough to donate a trial suite to the forum recently, will be solely responsible for onward-financing beyond his intitial monetary contributions. I am also pleased to announce that "The Christopher Walken Suite" will be transferred to the new complex and will maintain the same layout and regulations as experienced during the trial period.
Now, I would briefly like to reassure those members who had been appointed in positions with WVS, that their appointments ARE still active, and the following colleagues are expected to continue in the capacities they were recruited under with WVS. Those are as follows:-
*Buzz - Human Resources Manager (position will alter though authority shall stand)
*Cat - Entertainments Co-ordinator (position will remain and authority stands)
*Coastie - Senior Rentals Supervisor (position will alter, authority shall stand pending outcome of the next "Board Meeting of the Triumvirate") (BMoT)
*Assistant to the Senior Rentals Supervisor (this position is now redundant)
*Pandora - General Store Operative (this position is now redundant, contract review pending outcome of the next "Board Meeting of the Triumvirate" (BMoT)
Moving on from those important issues to the Network Structure of the new venture. We have pre-determined that the name of "The Woodstock Emporium" be given to the complex. "Cat" - one of the forum members was the ultimate winner of our secret competition to conjure up a suitable name and she won through above all the other secret entrants. After much deliberation the Board of the Triumvirate opted for her suggestion of "Emporium", and she will now have the choice selection of premises-placement anywhere within the complex, along with a representative role on the BMoT. So we extend our congratulations to Cat.....
Right.......the complex structure (nothing to do with DNA analysis....).......occupying almost 47,550 acres, the sub-terranean Emporium shall be sub-divided into numerous suites. Already, a handful of suites have been pre-determined. Those are as follows:-
*Woodstock's Free-Peace Suite - General relaxation zone
*The Christopher Walken Suite - a deluxe suite reserved for priveleged members and invited guests only.
*The Joly Chipmunk - combined cordon-bleu restaurant and deluxe costumery.
*Feline Good (A surprise gift (not now it isn't) for Cat as a reward for her sterling service at WVS.....and we are willing to overlook the heist.....I mean...s**t....I mean.....high standards you set yourself at WVS. The nature of operations here shall be at Cat's own discretion. The store is in addition to the Cheese outlet she has recently established - also to be found within the Emporium)
Coastie's Costly Coastal Costumery (again for sterling service - it has been projected that this will become a subsidiary-store of Mr.Joly's own outlet. It will feature hundreds of very expensive ocean-related costumes - sharks, dolphins, octopuses, clams, etc.
The Hive - (Another surprise gift - (.......not now it 'aint!.........) this time for my industrious former HR Manager, Buzz. Thanks for all your hard work, and may it continue long into the future...I must also apologize that we didn't quite make Grand Opening Day. Again, the nature of operations here will be down to Buzz and her own deliberation)
Pandora's Box - (We didn't have to do this - but we did anyway. Pandora was WVS's general lacky, and it is through our ultimate gratitude that we reward her service/s with her very own brand new shop. We are leaving the nature of operations open for Pandora herself to determine - a further gesture of our gratitude.
Once underground, it is required of all members to use the Emporium's own unique cash tokens - known as Didier Drogba (see "What made the 1980's for you?..." under Music) £1 sterling = 0.5 Didier-Drogba's/ 1 Didier-Drogba = £2 sterling.
Further details shall be filtered out following the next Board Meeting of the Triumvirate. (....you can now un-dim the lights....)
Oh yes, before you all leave the auditorium, I wish to encourage any members with an eye to securing a reservation for premises here at the Emporium to provide both the title and nature of the business. I thank yo.
(....un-dim them f***ing lights ya moron!....)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Members of the Forum, (.....dim the lights please.......I thank yo...)
Now that you are all seated and I have your undivided attention, may I present to you our forthcoming plans for the Woodstock Emporium. Many of you will by now have been informed and fully aware that the Video Store venture collapsed before Grand Opening Day. Much of the stock was looted and there is a nationwide police-manhunt for those responsible for such despicable acts of criminality. I am pleased to say that in addition to the funds now available from insurance coverage, this latest undertaking will also be financed by Dom Joly and Christopher Walken in unison with myself. Mr Joly (no relation to Angelina....) will be responsible for overseeing the implementation of an extensive variety of costumes and outfits that shall be worn by future colleagues throughout the entire network of the Emporium. Mr Walken, whom was kind enough to donate a trial suite to the forum recently, will be solely responsible for onward-financing beyond his intitial monetary contributions. I am also pleased to announce that "The Christopher Walken Suite" will be transferred to the new complex and will maintain the same layout and regulations as experienced during the trial period.
Now, I would briefly like to reassure those members who had been appointed in positions with WVS, that their appointments ARE still active, and the following colleagues are expected to continue in the capacities they were recruited under with WVS. Those are as follows:-
*Buzz - Human Resources Manager (position will alter though authority shall stand)
*Cat - Entertainments Co-ordinator (position will remain and authority stands)
*Coastie - Senior Rentals Supervisor (position will alter, authority shall stand pending outcome of the next "Board Meeting of the Triumvirate") (BMoT)
*Assistant to the Senior Rentals Supervisor (this position is now redundant)
*Pandora - General Store Operative (this position is now redundant, contract review pending outcome of the next "Board Meeting of the Triumvirate" (BMoT)
Moving on from those important issues to the Network Structure of the new venture. We have pre-determined that the name of "The Woodstock Emporium" be given to the complex. "Cat" - one of the forum members was the ultimate winner of our secret competition to conjure up a suitable name and she won through above all the other secret entrants. After much deliberation the Board of the Triumvirate opted for her suggestion of "Emporium", and she will now have the choice selection of premises-placement anywhere within the complex, along with a representative role on the BMoT. So we extend our congratulations to Cat.....
Right.......the complex structure (nothing to do with DNA analysis....).......occupying almost 47,550 acres, the sub-terranean Emporium shall be sub-divided into numerous suites. Already, a handful of suites have been pre-determined. Those are as follows:-
*Woodstock's Free-Peace Suite - General relaxation zone
*The Christopher Walken Suite - a deluxe suite reserved for priveleged members and invited guests only.
*The Joly Chipmunk - combined cordon-bleu restaurant and deluxe costumery.
*Feline Good (A surprise gift (not now it isn't) for Cat as a reward for her sterling service at WVS.....and we are willing to overlook the heist.....I mean...s**t....I mean.....high standards you set yourself at WVS. The nature of operations here shall be at Cat's own discretion. The store is in addition to the Cheese outlet she has recently established - also to be found within the Emporium)
Coastie's Costly Coastal Costumery (again for sterling service - it has been projected that this will become a subsidiary-store of Mr.Joly's own outlet. It will feature hundreds of very expensive ocean-related costumes - sharks, dolphins, octopuses, clams, etc.
The Hive - (Another surprise gift - (.......not now it 'aint!.........) this time for my industrious former HR Manager, Buzz. Thanks for all your hard work, and may it continue long into the future...I must also apologize that we didn't quite make Grand Opening Day. Again, the nature of operations here will be down to Buzz and her own deliberation)
Pandora's Box - (We didn't have to do this - but we did anyway. Pandora was WVS's general lacky, and it is through our ultimate gratitude that we reward her service/s with her very own brand new shop. We are leaving the nature of operations open for Pandora herself to determine - a further gesture of our gratitude.
Once underground, it is required of all members to use the Emporium's own unique cash tokens - known as Didier Drogba (see "What made the 1980's for you?..." under Music) £1 sterling = 0.5 Didier-Drogba's/ 1 Didier-Drogba = £2 sterling.
Further details shall be filtered out following the next Board Meeting of the Triumvirate. (....you can now un-dim the lights....)
Oh yes, before you all leave the auditorium, I wish to encourage any members with an eye to securing a reservation for premises here at the Emporium to provide both the title and nature of the business. I thank yo.
(....un-dim them f***ing lights ya moron!....)