The front room, it is very much my own no one else will have one quite like it.

Are you ugly or handsome?

Ugly.


Carbonated water. What's that about?

Are you ugly or handsome?

Handsome!


What is more important to you, looks or personality?

Oh looks definately...wouldn't be seen dead with an ugly person no matter how nice they were.

Roses or carnations.

Roses.


What's wrong with my carbonated water question?

Roses.


What's wrong with my carbonated water question?

It's ugly.

Try again with a more handsome question.

:laugh: P*ss off!

Oh :D

Did you forget to ask a question?

It looks like it :laugh:


What time did you get up today?

About 15 mins ago....

what did you have for breakfast?

Two weetabix, skimmed milk and a cup of tea.

Do you have visible nasal hair?

Indeed I do not. But I have a mate who does and it turns my stomach.

Do you have hairy nips?

No

What are you wearing today?

Boxers.



Should neighbours who use electric gardening tools on quiet summer mornings be subject to anti-social behaviour orders?

Yes. Similarly those who have been constantly working on their house since they moved in nearly a year ago and do this work up until 10pm.

Should people who allow their dogs to bark constantly be subjected to the same punishment?

People who own dogs have created their own punishment. Happy scooping


When should people who work all week tend to their gardens?

At the weekend. Der.

A full meal or finger foods?

Depends what time of day :glare:


On a scale of 1-10, how good is greed?

4

On a scale of 1-10, how much do you like coronation chicken?

6.5


If you were King/Queen of England, would you screw around?

I've never actually tasted coronation chicken.

garden or patio?

Garden.

And the monarchy question?

Probably. But only if I were, you understand. :bag:

What was your best subject at school?

Art


Would you prefer to be beautiful and poor OR ugly and filthy rich?

I am already the former. :bag:

If you could be anyone, who would you be?

If you could be anyone, who would you be?

I would be me!


Are you a fitness junkie?

No!

Do you enjoy porn/adult content, of any persuasion?

Yes, of several persuasions actually.


Have you ever had sex whilst blindfolded?

Not yet.

Do you get hungry after sex?

I cant remember...... :sad:


Does your partnner have pictures of you naked anywhere?

Doubt it. I've looked most places.

Do you carry pictures of your family?

Yes, and I have some on photobucket.


How does your partner know when you're in the mood for lurve?

Yes, and I have some on photobucket.


How does your partner know when you're in the mood for lurve?
It's his Birthday!!



Why are all these questions based around sex?

Because.

Why to birds sing so gay?

Because they're fools, I suppose.



Where does Elvis live now?

Well, apparently there's a man who lives in Glasgow who thinks he's Elvis, so...who knows??

ave you ever seen a UFO?

Sometimes I see lots of thinks I can't explain.

Would you ever put yourself through the trauma of a long haul flight...the fear of death hanging over you for 16 hours?

Yes. An aeroplane is the only place I ever get 12 hours uninterupted control of what I watch on the TV and how much I drink.


Do you ever get shin splints?

No.

Do you like cherries?

Not really!



Rugby or Cricket?

Football

Daddy or Chips?

Chips

Sky..blue or pink.

pink


friends or relatives?

Friends, mostly.


What's your favourite background music when you're having sex?

the hokey-cokey

What's yours?

I'll have a bottle of Miller thanks:D

What's your favourite colour of Smartie?

I'm not sure.....they all taste the same...unlike say Fruit Pastels.

Are you old enough to remember Spangles.


Buzz: Note the sexlessness of my questions :)

Yes - and it warms my heart to hear the name again. :)


Where do you ache most first thing in the morning?

Legs first, then neck, then back.

What about a Bar Six?

Oooh I remember them, my mum and dad used to sell them in the shop they had.

How many coca cola bottles could you buy as a kid for a penny?
We used to be able to get 4.
Now they are a penny each:ohmy:

We didn't have those, but we did have Fruit Salads and Blackjacks. You could buy four of those.

How much pocket money did you have when you were 10 years old?

No idea. Probably 50 new pennies, or something like that.


How many hard boiled eggs can you eat?

16.

Do you like anchovies?

No


Do you like/love strawberries?

I adore them :thumbsup:


If reincarnation was a fact, and you could be any animal - what would you be and why.

A leopard. They're beautifully sleek, fast, powerful and agile, they see without being seen, and they're totally self-sufficient.



Is your posture always good when you sit at the computer?

:w00t:

When did you last feel full?

About two weeks ago.



Same question.

Now, for the first time since I went to my Mum's, also probably 2 weeks. Lovely, but guilty feeling.

Dawn or dusk?

Dusk.



Should Tim Henman be abducted gently and held somewhere safe until after Wimbledon so that telly viewers can watch the real tennis this year?

No. I think we as a nation have to have someone to support in every big event. Don't particularly like the bloke, myself. The way he clenches his fist in celebration REALLY irritates me. But he and Greg are the best we've got (apart maybe from that young guy, can't think of his name. The one who's had no childhood because of his talent :ninja: ).

Chris Evert or Sue Barker?

Oh, Patsy, that fist clench drives me right up the wall too. In fact for a sportsman he's weirdly restricted in fluidity of movement. But I'm not having a go at him. He does his best. It's the bloody BBC people who p*ss me off - the ones who think we all want to watch his every bloody match, even if there are far better players on other courts at the same time. [ / rant]

Chris Evert.




Ever had fun in the back of Reliant supervan?

No!


Ever had fun in a train loo?


*Chris Evert for me too!*

Oh yes! :w00t:



If we had the opportunity to elect a President of the Planet, can you think of a better choice than Bob Geldof?

Yes...you!

What is your fave flower?

Rose


White, Dark or Milk Chocolate?

Dark (like my men)

Why are Buffalo wings called Buffalo wings when buffalo don't have wings and they aren't even made from buffalo in the first place!

Maybe they originated from that part of the US? Dunno. Unlike Buffalo Mozzarella, which is made from buffalo milk. :sick:

What colour are your bruises now?

Faded yellow still....oh what was that boss...pull my trousers up...oh yeah sorry...Pats was just asking about the brusies on my thighs! :blush:

Do you ever want to run from the building screaming just to see what kinda of reaction it would get?

:unsure: Er... no.


Fool (If You Think It's Over): Chris Rea or Elkie Brooks?

Chris Rea. What a sexy voice that man's got.

If you could have a puppet on a string, who would you choose?

I'd have a Patsy - I think that could be fun........


How many fingers do you use when you type?

All of them and also right thumb. I am an excellent typist, actually.

Would you like me to take dictation?

Yes please :wink2:

Would you like to use my dictaphone?

Only if it's been wiped. :ninja:

Hair up or down?

On laydees, up......and then slowly lowered......


Shorts or trousers?

Shorts, but only if you've got decent legs.

Sandals or moccasins?

Sandals! :w00t:

Pooting...fun or disgusting?

Not fun for the recipients :pooh:


An evening of intelligent discussion, or rampant sex?

Intelligent discussion.

Indian or Chinese?

An evening of intelligent discussion, or rampant sex?


Rampant sex of course!



Do you like mushrooms?

Yes please.


Rampant or tantric?

Rampant sex of course!



Do you like mushrooms?


Sorry, ils. Yes.

Question as above?

Rampant or tantric?


Rampant



Corrie or Eastenders?

Fine, ignore me then. :mad2:

Indian or Chinese?

Chinese


Sorry didn't see you there

EastEnders.

Cinema or DVD at home?

Cinema.


Chocolates or sweets?

DVD - much more cosy.


Hotdog or popcorn at the cinema ?

Popcorn (salty)

Are you a sulker?

This is going Pete Tong :mellow:

Are you a sulker?

Sometimes :D



Are you arrogant?

Never - Bloody stupid question! :laugh:



Do you like a quick drink with your colleagues after work?

Do you like a quick drink with your colleagues after work?

No


Which dwarf (out of Snow White & the 7 dwarfs) are you most like?

None, but I'd shag the tall brunette :pimp:


Would you happily shag someone over half a foot shorter than you?

Would you happily shag someone over half a foot shorter than you?


Nope and I wouldn't shag anyone only half a foot taller than me either!


What or who are you thinking about now?

The weekend.


On a scale of 1 to 10, how noisily do you pee?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how noisily do you pee?

1 of course

Do you believe men who have a small penis drive big cars to compensate?

Yes I do. :bag:

Do you find men with big willies are generally quietly confident?

Yes, and generally have fish as avatars! :ninja:


Is there an equivalent question for women?

No, because women are never satisfied.

Have you ever known a content woman?

God, no!

Do you walk about your house naked?

Yes, apart from my stilettos.

Do you/would you go out in your garden naked?

Used to sunbathe naked in my (secluded) garden regularly until about four years ago, when my skin couldn't take the sun any more. Probably won't resume the activity now that I can bear the sun again this year, though, because I discovered something disconcerting about my neighbours.



Ever gone commando in a very formal situation?

Yes


What type of knickers/pants do you normally wear?

Cotton briefs.

Does the sun bring out the devil in you?

Does the sun bring out the devil in you?

I always have the :devil: in me!


Who is the bigest flirt you know besides yourself?

:devil: You.


Ever had sunburned bits?

Ever had sunburned bits?


No - never sunbathed in anything less than a bikini



Speedos or trunks?

TRUNKS!

Pink or white marshmellows?

Both.

Do you think the end justifies the means?

No.



At what age should aging rockers give it up and start dressing like their fathers?

Both.

Do you think the end justifies the means?

Crikey, ask a hard question why don't you! Are there any alternative to the end justifying the means? The means to which we get to an end is always justifiable by the individual who set out on that path, otherwise there would be no end. Whether or not the end is desirable is another question.

Are Ceri's questions too hard?

Ahem...........

No.



At what age should aging rockers give it up and start dressing like their fathers?

Oops sorry Dabster, didn't see you there.

I don't think there's a definitive age - although when the gold medalion rests in a horizontal position on your stomach, I think you should be thinking about giving up.

It was a moral question, e.g. if you get pregnant by a man on purpose when you know he doesn't want to be a Dad, does the fact that you have a baby now justify the way you went about getting one?

Are Ceri's questions too hard?

No.

Do you get on with your next door neighbours?

No

Are my answers too simple?

Yes.

Which part of the world would you most like to visit?

Israel.



African safari or Antarctic cruise?

African Safari...but was a close call.

Why can't men be told?

Testosterone.

Why are women always right?

They talk longer.




What old sitcom would you love to see remade?

Love Thy Neighbour. Can't see it somehow!

Do you think Johnny Vegas is funny?

Intermittently.



Is indigestion the revenge of battered cod?

Is indigestion the revenge of battered cod?

Yes


Cod or Salmon?

Yes. In fact any greasy/fatty food is terrible for indigestion.


Could you be pregnant, do you think?

Cod and almost certainly not.



Is Darth Vader sexy?

No.

How about Maya from Space 1999?

No!



What is your favourite Disney Film?

In Search of the Castaways

Favourite Beatles Track

Lucy in the sky with Diamonds.

Should I really be eating a chicken leg at this time of night?

Only if you have a tub of chocolate ice-cream for afters!

What's the weather like where you are?

Well it wasn't raining when I walked home earlier.

Can you substitute a tub of chocolate ice cream with anything else?

raw sausages

Why have you turned that funny colour ?

I've gone into detox.



Was that our summer?

No it was just a taster of the exotic heat to come! :wacko:

What are the best mushrooms?

Wild Italian porcini.


Ever seen an elephant laugh?

I've seen one smile!

If the world started to turn the other way would it bother you?

Probably not, because we'd probably all be dead due to all sorts of things, I should think.

Do you like the name Roy?

There was a boy at my high school called Roy. I think he got bullied.

Phyllis?

No, sounds like an ailment.

Do you watch the Professional World Darts championships?

Yes...sometimes.... :blush:

Have you ever sung in public?

Many times.

Have you ever peed in the corridor of a block of flats?

No... that's nasty! :mad2:

Have your ever danced on public transport?

Of course.

Have you ever woken up next to someone you don't recognise?

No :angel:

Do you avoid eating things that will make your breath smell?

Absolutely not. As long as I can't smell it, I don't care.

Do you own any flavoured body paint?

No, my honeyed skin is just perfect as it is :)

What do you like best about posting here?

The giggles!

What do you like least?

The unfinished housework :laugh:

Does your first name suit you?

Probably. Ask the others.

Do you like air conditioning?

Yes, particularly Asda's light moisturising Apple flavour one. :)



What arty-crafty stuff did you like at school?

All of it.

What food could you just not give up?

Cheese.

Do you like your house?

I love it.



What would you like to add to your house?

Another house.

Where were you this time last week?

here, getting ready to leave

What colour is your front door?

Lower half white PVCu / upper half shaped glass.



What's the most eccentric thing about your house?

Probably the rose bush growing slap bang in the middle of the front lawn. Tried to kill it several times, but it's made of raw steel, apparently.

Do you have separate reception rooms?

No. Just one big room at the moment, but that will change when we convert one of the downstairs bedrooms soon. Or maybe not so soon. Sometime, anyway. Probably.


Ever decorated a room to a theme?

only at hallowe'en

Doyou have a 'real' fire?

Yes. Ripped out a nasty 1970s gas thing last year and put a proper fireplace back in. Bliss!



Do you like open plan living spaces?

Yes but I also like closed....

Have you every lit your own poots?

No - at least if poots means farts I haven't!!

Have you?

Tried but failed.

Do you pronounce it scones or scones?

Scones.



How many ice cream van tunes outside your house is too many?

3

How many drinks did you have at lunch time?

None, but I might make up for that soon. :)




You?

3 Vodka's


Where is everyone?

I don't know. Maybe they're... outside.




What's the best way to deal with a teenage daughter's grump?

Ignore it .....

Have you ever had a fight (fisty cuffs)?

Yes, but not recently.




What would you like to tell the world?

That it's just a great big onion

How are things in Glockamorra, anyway?

The willow trees are still weeping there.




Why aren't you watching Dr Who?

Because Ice Cold In Alex is on Channel 4

Can you defuse a mine? Phew it was only an old bean tin

No.


You know they all got drunk doing the final scene, don't you?

14 takes....:drinking:


You do know that in the old days, it was the film that was black and white, and real life was actually in colour?

:p

The willow trees are still weeping there.


Does the laddy with the twinklin' oye go whistlin boye........ :wub:

Yes, of course I did.

Did you know that the woman who did the test-card is really a man called Dwayne?

No! Explain how they made it all look black and white in the early photographs then, smarty pants.



Can't, can you?


edit: Sorry, Patsy, you slipped in there before me.

Oy! Answer my bleedin' question!

Oy! - it was you that missed mine...

Ackchualleeeeeeeeee, I did. I said of course I did. Dab though, thought I had answered his. He was wrong.

Thank you.

My question stands.

woopsie - no you didn't :blush:

No? When did that happen?

When does Sister Cat come on?

8.30pm this very eve, I fear.

Do you worry for her sanity?

I wasn't wrong. I never am, you know. I actually knew that you had answered Fee's question before I did. I was under no misapprehension at all that you had answered mine.

Oh, and no, he walked away, sad and dreamy not to see you there.

Frequently

has she always had this problem?

I wasn't wrong. I never am, you know. I actually knew that you had answered Fee's question before I did. I was under no misapprehension at all that you had answered mine.

Oh, and no, he walked away, sad and dreamy not to see you there.

And now you've got yourself stuck in the middle!

As far as I know, certainly for as long as I've known her.

Does she impress you?

Absolutely, in a worrying sort of way


That dab's a bt of alright, isn't he?

Phwoar......... bet he goes.

Could that beard suit anyone better?

:blush: Probably.



Is there any daft phrase that's lived inside your head from childhood and says itself to you at unexpected moments?

'Never fear Smith is Here' from Lost in Space!


What was your favourtie childhood sci fi series?

I've never been into sc-fi, but I did used to fancy Captain Kirk. :blush:

Whose posters did you have on your wall as a yoof?

The Osmonds



What picture do you have on your calender?

Children in the Badghis region of Afghanistan benefiting from a nutrition programme launched by World Vision.



Dust is okay as long as it's not written in, isn't it?

Yes, and actually dust that is written is ok too, I find it artistic!



How often do you clean your computer table?

I don't...some one does it for me and my home one is always very tidy! :)

Do you pick scabs?

No.



Do you turn down page corners or use a bookmark?

I use a bookmark!



Do you have net curtains at your windows?

Only at the front.

How many phones do you have in the house, not including mobiles?

One...and it rarely gets answered! :ninja:

Which is your fave dianosuar?

Rapters ..........


Sam Neil - hot or not?

Hottish (I wouldn't invite him to bed but a meal would be nice)

Have you ever thrown a boommerang?

Yeh, but the damn thing never came back:w00t:

Do you have an addictive personality?

Yes :sad:



Jaws or Towering Inferno?

Jaws (prefer water to fire)




Long distance road travel: driver or passenger?

Definately driver:thumbsup:

Planes, trains or automobiles?

Trains. Love going anywhere by rail.



Wet blokes: Kevin Costner or Patrick Duffy?

'Wet' just about sums them both up.

Do you arrive late, on time or early?

Early!




What colour are your eyes?

Blue/grey.




Does the sun on your skin make you feel sexy?

Does the sun on your skin make you feel sexy?

Yes


Have you ever been sunburned?

Oh, yes.



Have you ever used a raw egg as shampoo or hair conditioner?

Yuk, no.

What is your absolute favourite thing to eat?

Tinned pear halves in juice. My food of luuurve. :wub:



What prayer would you most like answered (not for anything or anyone else, just for you)?

At this precise moment? No more BB :ninja:


What's the female equivalent of black tie these days?

Probably cocktail dress, I would think.

Do you enjoy writing cheques from other people's accounts?

yes

Does it involve - *breathes deeply* - heels

Unless you wear a long dress, in which you could probably get away with elegant flatties. But on the whole, yes.

Do you wear a pinny or an apron?

Even I know neither of those would be suitable :rolleyes:


Are you a tidy cook, or messy?

Messy, that's why I employ a husband.

Are you a natural cook, or do you follow a recipe absolutely to the letter?

I'm a natural.



Oh! COOK. I'm not bad if I have to do it, but I'm better at appreciating other people's efforts, really.






Carpets or hard flooring?

hard flooring - splinters are easier to get rid of

varnish or wax?

That really depends on which body part you're applying it too. On the whole, I prefer wax.





Wood or stone?

stone (d)

Vice of choice?

Miami.




Where did Don Johnson go?

A company owned by him has just filed for bankruptcy apparently.

Do you have a business card?

Several, all for different activities.




What's the most enjoyable job you ever had?

Working in Clarkes shoe shop when i was 16. Fitting shoes on babies was a joy.





What did you want to be when you 'grew up' as a child, and did it come true ?

A nurse. And no.

Would you like to study for a qualification?

No.


Would you?

Not bothered about qualifications, but I do have a thirst for knowledge.


Do you pander to the crowd, or do your own thing?

Pander to the crowd


Are you wearing any knickers/pants now and if you are describe them?

Light blue cotton boxers.




Is a conspiracy to deliberately and maliciously prevent me from getting onto the family PC for more than a few hours per day, grounds for immediate divorce and disinheritence?

Yes!




Did you know it was Fathers day on Sunday?

Yes, but I don't think they're getting me a spare PC.




Strawberries: with sugar or naked?

In the bin preferably :sick:


Would you withhold cheque writing facilities if the family pee'ed you off?

Absolutely.

Could/should you eat a 600g box of fresh fruit salad single handed in one sitting, for pudding?

I couldn't - I hate fruit

Did you enjoy it?

I've eaten half of it, which frighteningly is 300g and it was very nice indeed.

Is that a lot?

Not compared to my 484g of strawberries that I eat every day!




Strawberries or raspberries?

Raspberries!

Did you used to watch Worzel Gummidge?

Yes :bag:


Did you know Jordan has had a little boy?

I knew she had one didn't know she was even expecting another.....I can't stand her so go into instant filter mode whenever her name is mentioned!

Can you count to 10 in any other languages?

Yes, French and German. We used to do the register in primary school by all of us having a number and counting them out in order. Then we did it in German and French.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Yes but only slowly! :blush:

What's the worst language in the world?

Worst to learn? Chinese is supposed to be pretty hard - with 50,000 kanji (character sets) - but it's very rule based so just a matter of time and application. Japanese has 4 different writing systems. Bug ger that! Conjugation of Turkish verbs is awful, apparently, and Finnish is said to be hideous (conjugating nouns! 18 tenses!).



Did I just bore you?

Sorry what did you say? :mellow:

Have you ever done anything really dangerous and got away with it?

Have you ever done anything really dangerous and got away with it?



Yes!




Tissues or Hankies?

Yes.



Have you ever been on Seaside Rescue?

edit: sorry ILS, you're faster on the keyboard than I. Tissues. My question stands...

Have you ever been on Seaside Rescue?

No


Have you ever been on the TV?