Customer: Worcester sauce please mate...
Shop Keeper: Sorry can't, it's off the shelves, cancer scare.
C: Oh right, uh Chinese Chicken Wings?
SK: Ah that's the same mate, cancer scare
C: Hamburger Relish?
SK: Cancer scare
C: Sausage and Mash?
SK: Cancer scare
C: Cottage Pie?
SK: Aye, ...no wait, cancer scare.
C: So they're all off the shelves because of a cancer scare?
SK: Yup.
C: Jaysus, that's mad, just give me a packet of fags.
SK: No bother. £5.25 please.

a world gone mad, mad I tells ya, mad!

how true!!!