Happy Mothers day to all you mothers. I am personallly in the dog house having sent a homemade card and so far it has yet to show up. Then I thought I would let mum have a lie in and ring in afternoon, to have dad ringing me to say I should ring home!!!! Its all so complicated.

Anyway in light of it being mothers day I thought it would be a good day to talk about motherhood. Is being a mother enough for the modern women or must she perform a hundred and one other things to be considered worthy?

My personal opinion is that feminism has got badly wrong, instead of being liberated from the kitchun sink we seem to have been forced into multi tasking just to get through the day and then accused of not looking after the children.

Is a women that stops work to raise the family right or selfish? Is it healthy for a women to try and be all things?

Is it healthy for a women to try and be all things?

Having done both - worked flat out with no. 1 son and then remained at home being a MOM - for son no. 2 - I can see both arguements. And IMO it is really down to both individual AND the time they find themselves at in their lives when baby comes along.

When my first born came along, despite being planned - I was more than keen to return to work, I went back to full time shift work when he was only 6 months old, I was ready and needy of work. At the time I was only 27 and still needed to establish my career, my indiviudality and feel part of the workforce.

When no. 2 came along, again planned - I was 35 and in a completely different place in my life, and absolutely had to stay at home with him. I, financially didn't need to work, I just didn't want to work - my whoel being dictated that I stay at home with him, and care for him and be a full time Mummy to both my boys - it is something that I am finding so rewarding. I can see a change in my eldest - although I could never and will never say it because of me staying at home. He is now 14 and terribly independently happy with his lot!!

I honestly beleive it is absolutely down to the individual and the place they find themselves when the baby comes along.

I also think it is down to the individual whether they chose to say at home.

When we decided to have children, I wanted to stay at home whilst they were under school age and that is what I did, by the time my youngest was starting school, I had actually not worked for 10 years...It was very, very hard when I started work again to get back into it, but for me it was the right thing.....we couldn't really afford for me not to work but we decided that we would do without things so that I could stay at home.

This would not be right for everyone but it was the right thing for me, and the kids seem to be well rounded, so I don't think it did them any harm having me around all the time!

I chose a very similar path to ils. I stayed at home for 8 years with my boys and we couldn't afford holidays or new clothes etc, but I am so glad I did. It was me being at home and doing the toddler group stuff that made me realise there was a problem with no1 son and was able to get help asap.

But it is a very individual choice.

Is it healthy for a women to try and be all things?
Depends on the woman I guess. I have a friend with 4 children, a single parent, who works incredibly hard, is one of the best mothers I know and has a joy of life that is awe-inspiring.

On the other hand, another friend stays home with her two whilst her husband works. She finds it hard to get through the day sometimes, and failing to manage simple tasks like ironing and cleaning to her own high standards make her depressed and sad.

I, on the other hand, go to work whilst my husband stays home to look after our baby. In no way do i feel that I am letting my baby down my not being home with her, as i trust my husband to care for her totally. We work as a team to make the best of our lives. My husband doesn't feel any less of a man by not being the main breadwinner.

The traditional man/woman roles don't work for us, so we don't use them.

Ya see i should have got the mothers day card and you should have cooked me dinner and took me swimming and watch the film i wanted to watch and and and ............so there

Ya see i should have got the mothers day card and you should have cooked me dinner and took me swimming and watch the film i wanted to watch and and and ............so there

No, Cockney that will happen on Father's Day!

will it? :bag: ...................

Depends on the woman I guess. I have a friend with 4 children, a single parent, who works incredibly hard, is one of the best mothers I know and has a joy of life that is awe-inspiring.

On the other hand, another friend stays home with her two whilst her husband works. She finds it hard to get through the day sometimes, and failing to manage simple tasks like ironing and cleaning to her own high standards make her depressed and sad.

I, on the other hand, go to work whilst my husband stays home to look after our baby. In no way do i feel that I am letting my baby down my not being home with her, as i trust my husband to care for her totally. We work as a team to make the best of our lives. My husband doesn't feel any less of a man by not being the main breadwinner.

The traditional man/woman roles don't work for us, so we don't use them.

I think its great that you have been able to find roles that suit you. I'm aware that we are all different and therefore different ways suit us best. But I don't think we are all strong enough to stand up to pressures that society puts us under.

I think its great that you have been able to find roles that suit you. I'm aware that we are all different and therefore different ways suit us best. But I don't think we are all strong enough to stand up to pressures that society puts us under.

Your right best to say ****** society and do what you want to do

And knock anyone out the disagrees or takes that pi*s

Becks, the way I see it, is that I am a member of society, and my voice is as loud as any other in that society.

Society is just a bunch of people like you, there is no one opinion, just a collection of different ones.

Stick to yours.

I think its great that you have been able to find roles that suit you. I'm aware that we are all different and therefore different ways suit us best. But I don't think we are all strong enough to stand up to pressures that society puts us under.

Until a few short years ago I was a single career girl having the time of my life! In just over 2 years I have become a step mum - OMFG what a reality check THAT was, and I at least now know why I chose not to give birth myself - its blummin hard work being a parent, and our 2 are 16 and 18 not babies!!

In the last couple of weeks I have been at home, for the 1st time since I was 14 I am not working, its FAB!!!!! I have time to do all the little jobs that I dont usually have time for, such as ironing :ohmy: but all of this has been through MY choice, Im buggered if I would let society put me under pressure to do things differently..........

I also got my 1st ever mothers day card this year- well it wasnt a mothers day card as such, but a lovely thank you card off the kids given to me on mothers day, I wasnt expecting it, and I was very touched and pleased to receive it, I feel like I have now been accepted by the kids and we are now a happy family......

I dont think we need a particlular day to give thanks to our Mums, we should do it whenever we speak to them or see them anyway, but I would never not send my Mum or MIL a card, its the thought that counts and it doesnt hurt to spend a couple of quid on a card for them to let them know that you love them and are grateful for what they have done for you during your life........

Since moving to Devon I write to my mum and send her photos and stuff, which she LOVES receiving......

I also feel equally about Fathers Day, although when my Dad was alive it was my step dad who got the card with real meaning, as he has been the Dad my own father wasnt, I would never send my Dad a loved up bible verse card as I didnt mean what was being said, it was always short and sweet, and done out of duty not respect, I had no respect for the man my Dad became, although I did love him cos he was my dad, I just didnt like him very much!!!