..jokes that fall flat, Dolores gave me this idea from something she said earlier.

For example.

A few years ago when buying a new hoover I decided to break the habit of a life time and not have an upright (what are non uprights called?).

To test it out I stood there waving the nozzle around the showroom mentally testing it out on my house...the assistant stood there looking at me perplexed. When I had finished I said to her "I like it but does it make me look fat"...."no not at" all came her reply" no laughter, nothing....

This happens to me quite a lot actually.

......... which obviously makes it more funny.

(what are non uprights called?).




Cats???.......


'The cat-bag is full again'

'This cat will pick up anything'

..jokes that fall flat, Dolores gave me this idea from something she said earlier.

For example.

A few years ago when buying a new hoover I decided to break the habit of a life time and not have an upright (what are non uprights called?).

To test it out I stood there waving the nozzle around the showroom mentally testing it out on my house...the assistant stood there looking at me perplexed. When I had finished I said to her "I like it but does it make me look fat"...."no not at" all came her reply" no laughter, nothing....

This happens to me quite a lot actually.
Well Id have pished meself laughing had you said that to me. I do the same sometimes with shop assistants and you can practically hear the whoosh as the wisecrack shoots over their heads.

Non uprights are called cylinder hoovers I think???

Christ, Ive just realised Fenella the spider is dead. Greedy mare, I just couldnt keep up with her constant demands for flies.

..jokes that fall flat, Dolores gave me this idea from something she said earlier.


You make it sound like I said something that wasn't funny! I wont have that said about me!

LOL this has happened a few times to me.

There is this wee janitor guy in the Dental Hospital who walks about all day pushing his wee trolley delivering casenotes to different departments. On the front of his trolley he has a number plate saying "S3X G0D"
One time I was in the elevator with one of my old lecturers and you could have cut the atmosphere with a knife because we didn't really know what to say to each other (he is a complete ar5ehole) and the janitor walked in with his little trolley.
When he got off, it was just me and the lecturer again left in the elevator and I laughed and said to him:
"Hehe, that little number plate he's got on there is quite funny isn't it?",
just trying to make conversation to which he replied:
"No it's not. In fact I find it degrading and highly unprofessional that he parades about a clinical building with that. And quite frankly Im disgusted that you find it so funny",
then he got off at his floor, leaving a humilated and flummoxed PJ in the elevator!

Uptight tw*t. You were only trying to be polite, weren't you PJ

Uptight tw*t. You were only trying to be polite, weren't you PJ
But of course, Patsy!