Does anyone need any photocopying done?

I could make some tea if you like.

cheerio!

You're keen - what are you doing in on a Sunday??????

Tea would be great Scoobs, milk with no sugar for me (as I am sweet enough all ready;) )

scoobs are you the office minion then? in that case could you please organise a room with me with powerpoint projecter thing ready also a tray of biscuits (fancy ones) and some wine if you dont mind.

I would like someone to come downstairs for a fag with me so we can bi7ch about all the people we don't like and then pretend to be nice to their faces.

OK?

I'll join you downstairs Ceri, let me get my lighter:)

I don't smoke but I'll join you both, anything to get away from the office :)

Blimey it's freezing out here!! Isn't it rubbish having to work on a Sunday. I think we should tell them all we're having a team meeting and go out for a pub lunch as that Scooby is really getting on my nerves, offering to do the photocopying and stuff - talk about a brown noser!!

Great idea Ceri. I'll go and tell Scooby we are off to post some mail.

Have you got any money ILS, I know what you're like when you get in the pub, I'll be skint by teatime otherwise!! :laugh:

I've got the petty cash Ceri - that should be enough even if we go on a bender!

Lord knows where Andrea has gone. D'you know ILS, I don't trust her one bit. I reckon she fancies Haydon you know, she's been making eyes at him when you're not there, and did you notice how she's been coming in wearing a miniskirt lately??

I'm here. The mini skirts are for my secret admirer I rendevous with after work. And no, Its not Haydon, its a very tall dark and handsome stranger I met a while ago:)

I reckon she fancies Haydon you know, she's been making eyes at him when you're not there
I think she does too, she is just saying she doesn't, but who can blame her, he is a bit of a hunk :wub:

Oh I wasn't talking about YOU Andrea, I was talking about this other girl I know called Andrea, she's a right tart.

No, I didn't mean YOU at all.

I'm loving the miniskirt by the way....

I think she does too, she is just saying she doesn't, but who can blame her, he is a bit of a hunk :wub:

Actually ILS I think you could better if you know what I mean. What about someone a bit younger? You know, they reckon they've got more stamina when they're young. What about that little office junior, Scooby?

Actually ILS I think you could better if you know what I mean. What about someone a bit younger? You know, they reckon they've got more stamina when they're young. What about that little office junior, Scooby?
Crikey that is a little too young Ceri - he is the same age as my daughter! :ohmy:

Oh well, we'll leave him for Andrea then. Oh of course I forgot, you've already got a boyfriend haven't you Andrea?? So what's he like then and when can we meet him? Is he married and does he look anything like Haydon?

Now, he wouldn't be my secret admirer if I told you all about him, would he?:dry:

Oh for goodness sake Andrea you're so prim!!

ILS get her another gin will you, that'll loosen her tongue!! :devil:

So ILS, do you think Haydon fancies you then, I definitely saw him eyeing you up when you were bending over the filing cabinet yesterday.

Hello everyone, I've come in as I've got to do the end of month accounts for the meeting on tuesday and I've got my appt tomorrow at the clinic so wont' be in.

Scooby could you photocopy last months invoices straight away please, and a cup of coffee. Chop Chop.

Oh Cat, we've all jushht binowt doing the posssst and that.

Crikey, you stink of beer Ceri been down the pub.

So ILS, do you think Haydon fancies you then, I definitely saw him eyeing you up when you were bending over the filing cabinet yesterday.
Unfortunately not :sad: My hair is the wrong colour :ohmy: If only I was a blonde :p

Another gin coming up ! :)

Oh, sod it, stuff the report....I'm coming to join you...SOMBAR?

Woo woo

I can't find a shop open that sells hair bleach ILS - can we use Domestos? :laugh:

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh NO! :glare: :excl:

I've been here half an hour and still no one has made me a cup of coffee :sad:

I think the tea/coffee boy has taken a sicky :angry:

The coffee machine's broken.

I've sent a memo to Nigel, the office handyman, and I'm waiting for a reply. In the meanwhile, Andrea, could I have a word?

Thank you so much.

cheerio!

what word would you like Scooby:)

Quick Ceri, Andrea's going to get a bollocking - get your glass out and have a listen :ohmy: :laugh:

I think they're having an affair and they've had a falling out...she probably broke the coffee machine in a fit of pique!! :ohmy:

Actually, didn't she say she had a mystery man the other day?? Well now you know then!!

ILS, can you cover the door while I go and pretend to file something in the cabinets next to Scooby's office, then I can here what's going on?

Of course - her mystery man is Scooby :)


The door's covered Ceri - go go go!!!

Hmm, they're very quiet in there. Do you think they're making up??! :heart: :shock:

I wouldn't put it past them :shock: :laugh:

I'm sure he just said something to her about Haydon. See, I TOLD you she fancies him - you want to watch your back ILS!! :dry:

what word would you like Scooby:)
Nigel says that you've been making sexual advances towards him again, and that his wife is not best pleased. I'm not sure it's the type of thing I really want in my office.

You can redeem yourself by typing up these invoices, and filing them in order of date.

cheerio!

I'm sure he just said something to her about Haydon. See, I TOLD you she fancies him - you want to watch your back ILS!! :dry:
You were right Ceri - what with Scooby and her setting her sights on Haydon as well, I have come to the conclusion that Andrea is a bit of a tart :ohmy: :laugh:

Gosh, hell of a day in the City. Meetings all over the show, starting at 6.30 in the gym..thrashed out last months poor figures with the head of sales on the rowers.

Just got time to read my messages before I dash out to a board meeting. Just seen the oddest thing tho..Scooby leaving the basement store, closely followed by Andrea...then Haydon appeared. Very strange..were they having a meeting???

Must dash....xxxx

I told you she was a tart :ohmy: :shock: :laugh:

To add to the mystery Cat, these so called photocopied 'invoices' that have landed on my desk, clearly aren't invoices or anything like it. Scooby says it has nothing to do with him, but we need to crack this case by identifying the culprit. BTW - whoever it was has broken the photocopier... the cheek of it!

Perhaps Andrea is in a better position to tell us who it is.

To add to the mystery Cat, these so called photocopied 'invoices' that have landed on my desk, clearly aren't invoices or anything like it. Scooby says it has nothing to do with him, but we need to crack this case by identifying the culprit. BTW - whoever it was has broken the photocopier... the cheek of it!

Perhaps Andrea is in a better position to tell us who it is.
Hi Nox,

I've had Nigel check the photocopier, and to my horror, he has found a dismembered finger jammed where the ink cartridge should have been.

I've had an anonymous tip-off that it's Jennifer Ellison, who is currently on work experience, but I am investigating the matter.

MEMORANDUM
To: Scooby
From: Cat
Date: 17th November

Whats the matter with the photocopier, just got blood all over my projected budget? Please reprint, make 5 copies and have ready for my by 10am. I have a meeting in Brussells at 2pm.

Why is the top of my desk all sticky?

MEMORANDUM


To: Scooby
From: Cat
Date: 17th November

Whats the matter with the photocopier, just got blood all over my projected budget? Please reprint, make 5 copies and have ready for my by 10am. I have a meeting in Brussells at 2pm.

Why is the top of my desk all sticky?
I'm afraid you'll have to contact Jennifer Ellison about all this, it's really not my field.

If you're nice, she'll make you a cup of tea.

cheerio!

MEMORANDOM

To: Jennifer Ellison
From: Cat
Date: 17th November 2004

My desk was all sticky this morning, could you please ensure that it is clean and wiped at all times.

MEMORANDOM
To: Scooby
From: Cat
CC: Nigel
Date: 17th November 2004

I have been a bit dissapointed with your attitude recently, I have now twice asked you to do simple tasks for me and both times you have "passed the buck" . Please could you take time to re evaluate your position with the company and think on to your future here.

Please have ready for me by 9.30am tomorrow the report from Analysis 3rd quarter 2005, 6 copies. I will be in to collect them after my breakfast meeting.

MEMORANDOM




To: Scooby
From: Cat
CC: Nigel
Date: 17th November 2004

I have been a bit dissapointed with your attitude recently, I have now twice asked you to do simple tasks for me and both times you have "passed the buck" . Please could you take time to re evaluate your position with the company and think on to your future here.

Please have ready for me by 9.30am tomorrow the report from Analysis 3rd quarter 2005, 6 copies. I will be in to collect them after my breakfast meeting.
Hi Cat,

I think you'll find that as Head Photocopier my position is far superior to your position, that of Assistant Photocopier.

I have a briefing with the Head Photocopiers from the other branches today, so any queries to my secretary, Janet Street-Porter.

cheerio!

MEMORANDOM






To: Cat
From: ils
CC: Ceri
Date: 18th November 2004

I think Scoobs getting a little too big for his boots - he needs to be taken down a peg or two!

Hi ILS,

Jennifer Ellison, who is still on work experience, has informed me of your mutinous activities. I'd like you to come to my office after lunch - also please speak to Janet re: the vomit in the office kitchen beforehand. Someone will need to send a memo to Peter Andre, our new caretaker.

Thanks.

Hi Scooby

You need to watch that Jennifer Ellison she is after Cat's job and ultimately yours. Ceri is sending the memo to Peter and Janet is cleaning up Jennifers vomit as we speak.

I'm having a late lunch today so I will be with you at around 3pm!

ils

To: All office workers.
Date: Today
Subject: New premises.

Hi all,

I'm writing to inform you about our new premises, situated over at http://theofficeboard.proboards20.com/index.cgi (http://theofficeboard.proboards20.com/index.cgi)

Message Derek when you get there, with your name and position.

Regards,

Scooby

email:

Scooby, Janet Street Porter is so not your secretary, everyone knows shes Nigels secretary.

If you carry on with these illusions of grandure I will have no choice but to report you to my immediate boss Joe Pasquale.

Cat

MEMORANDUM
Private and Confidential

To: Ils
From: Cat
CC: Ceri, Nigel, Janet Street Porter, Joe Pasquale

Subject: Scooby

I am getting very concerned about Scooby. When we interviewed him he seemed such a sweet young man and perfect for the job. But I think what would be best is, as long as no one feels they are in danger, humour and go along with his delusions.

We certainly don't want him to have to go back do we???

MEMORANDUM
Private and Confidential

To: Ils
From: Cat
CC: Ceri, Nigel, Janet Street Porter, Joe Pasquale

Subject: Scooby

I am getting very concerned about Scooby. When we interviewed him he seemed such a sweet young man and perfect for the job. But I think what would be best is, as long as no one feels they are in danger, humour and go along with his delusions.

We certainly don't want him to have to go back do we???
MEMORANDUM
Private and Confidential

To: Cat
From: ils
CC: Ceri, Nigel, Janet Street Porter, Joe Pasquale

Subject: Scooby

I think you are right Cat, I don't want to have him on my conscience!

email:

Ils, I'm so glad you agree, he really is such a sweet young man.

Any further news on the Christmas Doo?? Head of Entertainment Natalie Appleton was supposed to be sorting this out? Can you be a love and chase it, I am on the plane to Hong Kong at the mo or I would do it myself, friggin meeting re international conglomerates.

I'll be back on saturday, but you can email me.

regards
Cat

I think he's been having an affair with Andrea.

DO YOU?? :ohmy:

How many blokes does that girl need????

I told you she was a tart and you didn't believe me! :ohmy:

I told you she was a tart and you didn't believe me! :ohmy:

you did, you did.

How does the list read?

* Scooby
* Nigel
* Peter Andre (care taker)
* Brian Harvey (new assistant head of statistics)

You know of any more....