Well, I really wasn't going to watch "The Paul Danan Show" - sorry, I mean "Celebrity Love Island" but as there was nowt else on and I had nowt else to do I thought I would. It is the most embarassing, tacky, trashy reality TV show Ive ever seen. So I shall indeed be tuning in to it in future...

As for the contestants...

The Girls

Abi - face it love, you are promiscuous. She is "tart" personified.

Isabella - has a really annoying face and voice but seems ok.

Jayne - disappointed that she has decided to level herself with the likes of Abi Titmus and Rebecca Loos. Thought she was bigger than that.

Judi - have no idea who she is. Was she on eastenders?

Liz - was she even there?

Rebecca - forgot to add her there. That's how much of an effect she had on me!


The Guys

Calum - pure poser. Don't think I'll like him much.

Du'aine - zzzzzzzz

Fran - think he's quite funny. Should provide some controversy.

Lee - seems ok.

Michael - learn to swim mate. then you can swim off to a distant land and never be on my TV again.

Paul - a stint on Hollyoaks in the mid-90s does not constitute being a celebrity. I'm more famous than him for God's sake!

this was the most awful TV programme I've ever seen & I SHALL be on board for the duration.

Regarding Abi Titmus getting out of her pram for being called promiscuous - HAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA! If the cap fits love..................

Well I loved it and as long as they don't start putting it on too late at night, I shall be watching with glee.

The setting was really stunning and they are lucky children to be there, but no doubt being the spoilt, self obsessed air heads that most of them are - they wont'

Heres my first impressions:



The Girls

Abi - What is the attraction with this girl, she has deep set small eyes with a slight squint that makes her look dense. Without the aid of professional photography and airbrushing her body and looks were put into shade by the other girls. She also needs to look at herself a little more deeply and realise that when Fran called her promiscous (he was actually mis using the use of the world, not fulling understanding it, but thats by the by it created a good TV moment). The fact that she might not physically be putting it about her whole package is sold on raunchy meaningless sex so her defensive attitude was very funny.

Isabella - Agree with PJ here, her voice has that horrible nasal twange that only posh people seem to be able to do...must be something to do with sniffing all that money. Though a nice face, nothing too mind blowing - her best assett is her body which really is a lovely shape and well toned - lovely long legs (these but Abi's dumpy corn beef jobs to shame). BUT...her biggest down fall is that she is best mates with the extraudinary nasally challenged one that is Jodie Marsh. Isabella is Pauls big love interestest at the moment, but I think he will see through her soon enough. She also had a very annoying laugh like a goose.


Jayne - Brilliant at yogo, and a great accent - looking good too. Very disappointed when she sobbed in the video room because she couldn't sleep and had no friends! I too would have put her above the others. She needs to keep up her chats with Lee - she could be in there.

Judi - What a strange looking girl, body to die for but the face!!! Those eyes they were like something out of the Bar Scene in Star Wars - so big and so far apart, I thought they were her ears at first. However, seemed OK though
and she will be handy for keeping a 360 degree watch.

Liz - This girl is the epitome of a rather plain girl done good; bless her. Great body though and nice hair. She also seemes to have a good sense of humour.

Rebecca - Didn't really see much action from Rebecca last night - best bikini's so far.


The Guys

Calum - I don't like this chap very much either PJ. A bloke who is used to getting the women and just sits back and lets them come to him. But I have news for this young lathario...YOU ARE GOING BALD MATEY!!! The girlys won't be swooning round you when you have a big baldy slappy head. Abi is after him at the moment and he dosn't seem to mind.

Du'aine - best smile on the Island, dazzling, friendly and lovely. But dont' think I even heard him speak.

Fran - I enjoyed Fran in IACGMOOH so am expecting similar. He is very comfortable with the camera's and should provide some entertainment...has done already with the promiscuous remark.

Lee - My favourite....and he's got a big cellar!!! He dosn't live in a mock tudor house like his fellow (ex) team mates but in a 3 storey old town house with a cellar. It has all the original features you know. He seems to be warming towards Jane.

Michael - I like Michael, he may not be the brightest of bunnies but he can laugh at himself.

Paul - I liked Paul too. I have a feeling he might start to get on my nerves as the show go's on - he reminds me of a not quite so handsome Jude Law. He is good entertainment and his no holds back affection for Isabella was fun to watch....he will go off her tho.

To summerise:

Top Girl: Jane
Top Boy: Lee

So there we have it, in a nut shell.

Amen.

Isabella is Pauls big love interestest at the moment,

I beg to differ from the twenty mins I saw I would say that Paul's big love interest is PAUL! ....anyway wtf is he?!

I thought Paul was a complete pratt and couldn't understand why everyone seemed to like him. And god, didn't they show a lot of him wittering on to the camera about how he liked Isabella? Boring.

And the yoga people - why don't they go off to some quiet corner and do it instead of where everyone gathers so they've got an audience? Oh I think I just answered my own question.

well it is trashy but i'll be watching!!!

My first impressions of the boys are:

Dislike
Calum - arrogant pr!ck, completely loves himself and has nothing interesting to say! zzzzzzz :pooh:

Fran - pretty much the same as Calum to be honest and the fact he went out with Jodie for a long time confirms he is an idiot :pooh:


No impact
Dwayne - was he in it and why is he a celeb???

Bepe - pretty much same as Dwayne - didn't hardly see him for the show

Like

Lee - :wub: i think he is lovely!!! He is good looking, not as in your face as the rest and seems like a nice bloke, he is my fave thus far....

Paul - unlike the general concencus i like Paul! yes he's an attention seeker but he's harmless and i think seems genuine - come on "dont sepnd 16 minutes on the turbo" ..."labour should have a law to protect celebs! - he's funny!

Impressions of the girls are:
Dislike
Abbie - agree with you Cat - i dont get the attraction with abbie either, she looked v plain last night without her usual airbrushing!! and omg the way she was throwing herself at Callum...criiiiinge!! and her reaction when he said Rebecca was good looking criiiiinge again!

Lady Isabella - she seemed ok last night but i just thought she was soooooo annoyingon the games and her best firend is Jodie M

No impact
Liz, Rebecca and Judie??? - saw little or none of them but imo Rebecca is the best looking of the girls without a doubt.

Seems ok
Jayne - i've always liked her but any more of that i wanna go home to me mam and i have no friends - i could be changing my mind!!!

It started badly with Patrick Keilty folding his arms and Kelly Brook starting every line "yes..." and sounding wooden. I am not a PK fan but he managed a few good lines.

What a bunch of numpties they have gathered. If a true celebrity is someone who has a talent that can entertain and is superior to the masses then noone here qualifies.

here is my two-penneth worth..

The Girls

Abi - terrible lumpy unfit body

Isabella - Not too clever, would be dull company, nippy wee body but its just not enough.

Jayne - Chris Moyles said she was horrid and I began to see why. The crying was just pathetic and I bet she is a nasty little piece of work. The Yoga was all a bit of a show. Still at least she can have a laugh at herself.

Judi - Who - too tall and gangly?

Liz - She is ok, I reckon just a normal girl.

Rebecca - No thanks. Didnt she "marry" a japanese girls prior to the show. her "sexy" charms are oily and unattractive and she has nothing to say, also a bit fat and lumpy.


The Guys

Calum - balding, poor physique and what is that accent.

Du'aine - Seems nice enough but like many athletes dull as dishwater


Fran - nasty, talentless and unfunny - just as he was on imacgmouh.

Lee - decent bloke, funny and was a good footy player. He has a cellar and that can only be good.

Michael - Again a decent bloke, funny and vaguely normal.


Paul - Funny in a lee Evans way (for a time) but really thick - "i don't like reading" is a sad, sad line and his parents should be ashamed. He is not a celebrity, even by this standard.

If pressed I would like jenni and sharpy to get together

I missed the 9pm show - but caught the live bits later on ITV - can someone tell me what the premise of the programme is??

Are they supposed to 'couple off'
Do they get voted off?
And if so by whom?
Do they do anything other than swim and sunbathe?

The bits I saw last night revolved around Rebecca and Abi - being buddies, with Abi desperate to make Rebecca a cup of coffee [real coffe you know, forget instant!!], then Abi being unable to make a cup of proper coffee!! So Cat's description of her looking a bit dense is spot on.

I didn't want to go down the 'who has got the best body' so I won't - but what I will say in Abi's defence, ok she is not as lithe as the others - but is a pretty regular shape and size - like the majority of the UK women. And a little bit of pot hanging over a bikini bottom is perfectly acceptable IMO.

But having said all that her knickers looked silly. They looked like a normal pair of pants - that were wedged fairly and squarely up her bottom, thereby facilitating a large lumpy bit where the material meets up her bum - like a poo bag or fart chamber!! Not nice Abi.

I didn't see any of the boys really except Fran - and he looked like his mohican blonde bit had gone ever so slightly green!

I watched this last night, and i quite enjoyed it .... but i have trouble telling the difference between Fran and Callum. They look identical.

Paul did make me laugh, and he has smashing eyes.

I think Rebecca and Abi will get it together .... was that the kind of pairing that ITV wanted :mellow:

I think Rebecca and Abi will get it together .... was that the kind of pairing that ITV wanted :mellow:

That would be ITV's most wanted pairing Bons!

The two most *arguably* famous tabloid celebs of the last year gettin it on in some girl on girl action - you bet they're paryin for that pairing!! :wink2:

...they ain't that stupid -


Abi Titmuss is being paid £100,000 for her appearance on upcoming reality series Celebrity Love Island, according to the News of the World today.

Titmuss is being paid much more than her fellow celebrities, because the show's producers hope that her antics will pull in millions of viewers, in a fierce ratings battle with Big Brother.

A source told the newspaper, "There will be a huge ding-dong when everyone finds out what the others are getting. But the bosses know some stars have more pulling power than others - and Abi is so hot that money was no object."

Rebecca Loos has signed an £80,000 contract, while Calum Best is set to receive £70,000 for his appearance.

Stars who are less well-known, such as I'm A Celebrity's Fran Cosgrove and presenter Jayne Middlemiss are being paid £30,000. Former Hollyoaks star Paul Danan is the show's lowest earner, and will get just £15,000.

Presenters Patrick Kielty and Kelly Brook have signed £150,000 contracts.

Let's face it the whole purpose of this dire trash is hoping that at least two of the "celebs" will shag. I too wondered what Callum Bet's accent was supposed to be and yep at 24 he is rapidly receding. Doesnt he look the imagine of his mum, Angie, cant see his dad in him at all apart from the seriel shagging bit.

I cant believe that Posh Titled Sloane Lady Isabella has anything in common with trashy fick Essex girl Jodie Marsh! Talk about odd couple!

I do find Fran sexy. If I were only 20 years younger.

My favourite is the footballer, I think he is understated, not a frigging show off like the rest and just a nice regular guy. I hope he wins it.

As for the **** from Hollyoaks is it, never heard of him before - he is downright annoying.

As for Beppe, what on earth was he doing exercising in his Y-fronts? Not a pretty sight, cant he afford some decent boxers/swim wear??

Abi Titmuss is being paid £100,000 for her appearance on upcoming reality series Celebrity Love Island, according to the News of the World today.

Titmuss is being paid much more than her fellow celebrities, because the show's producers hope that her antics will pull in millions of viewers, in a fierce ratings battle with Big Brother.



Do you know, I actually feel quite sorry for Abi Titmuss [and her family]. I have worked with people who have as little regard for their sexual antics as she does, and I don't know but I just think that something is missing in Abi. Am I alone in thinking this?? It is almost like her sexual promiscuity [or hyped promiscuity] is up for ridicule, like children ridicule each other, I cannot beleive anyone with any intelligence would allow themselves to be portrayed continually like this.

I watched about five mins of this. I flicked over to see Jayne MiIddlemiss sobbing to the camera, at first I thought she was taking the pee, I mean she's only been in there one day, but OMG I think she was serious!
What was all that crapadoody about brownie camp and missing her mum, I thought Jayne was a smart cookie and a tough Geordie lass.
:cry: I've got no friends, I don't know anybody :cry:
Get a grip woman!
Don't think I'll bother watching again, what I saw was boring.
if it gets interesting someone give me a shout.

I flicked over to see Jayne MiIddlemiss sobbing to the camera, at first I thought she was taking the pee, I mean she's only been in there one day, but OMG I think she was serious!


This was hilarious...

"I'VE GOT NO WALLS......boo hoo....I'VE GOT NO FRIENDS.....boo hoo....I WANT MY MUM AND A WALL"

Viewing the terrible converastion between Danon and Abi T - "oi dant know whoi the meedja dant jsut leave orf us celebrities " naturally not realising that the reason celelbs re celebs is the fact that the media (and for media read general public) are interested in them. I genuinely think that the word celebrity is now not enough to distinguish between all the folks we see on telly, I suggest

A-lebrities - People with a talent above the norm who entertain regularly via the prime media channels. Examples would be Woody Allen, George Lucas, Elton John, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise.

B-lebrities - People with talent who entertain regularly or are very popular via regular channels. Ricky Gervais, jennifer Aniston, Robbie Williams.

C-lebrities - People who have talent who entertain regularly via regular channels of media and are popular with large audience demographics. Like the Little Britain two or Derren Brown, Like say Travis or Jos Stone.

D-lebrities - People who are regularly on media channels and have jobs there. Like say Fiona from GMTV, Chris Moyles, and popular current presenters, Rolf harris and the like.

No-lebrities - untalented people who have no role in media but find themselves exposed to media for periods of time. Big Brotherites, ex-soap stars, any reality tv person and Patrick keilty. :naughty:

Celeb love island is without a doubt the biggest load of crap i have ever seen on tv in 30 years.

Its so so sad that these desperate people will do anything for a bit of cash and of course getting on TV.

I watched for 2 mins and switched off,

ALL OF THEM ARE NARCISSISTS WHAT A CRAP WORLD WE LIVE IN WHEN WE ACCEPT THIS AS GOOD ENTERTAINMENT?

All of the people on it are total nobodys, but they are forever in my ****ing face with there bs.

No wonder this country and world is ****ed up when we look up to these fools as role models.

Celeb love island is without a doubt the biggest load of crap i have ever seen on tv in 30 years.

Its so so sad that these desperate people will do anything for a bit of cash and of course getting on TV.

I watched for 2 mins and switched off,

ALL OF THEM ARE NARCISSISTS WHAT A CRAP WORLD WE LIVE IN WHEN WE ACCEPT THIS AS GOOD ENTERTAINMENT?

All of the people on it are total nobodys, but they are forever in my ****ing face with there bs.

No wonder this country and world is ****ed up when we look up to these fools as role models.

You didn't like it then evocare??

You sound very angry, have a cuppa and a chill pill and calm down - I doubt anyone in their right minds would look up the lot on Celeb Love Island. Minus Jayne [who has a brain] there is not one further brain cell for them all to share.

And as far as the country and world being, was that pumped up? Well you only have to look no further than that fool at No 11. And the even smaller fool across the water in the White House.

I loathe Lounge Lizards like Calum Best. I dont even think he is particularly attractive !

Paul Danan is definitely the love child of Posh Spice and Peter Andre. He has the fake tan, too much jewellery, big fake whitened teeth of VB and the lights on, nobodies home, wears his heart on his sleeve, shows off like a schoolboy in front of the girl he fancies personality of Peter Andre !

His clowning around will start to grate, believe me.

Rebecca Loos is starting to home in on Du'ayne Ladejo - he wont know whats hit him.

The waste of oxygen that is Fran Cosgrave, is still going around spouting rubbish and saying "Yerrrrr whaaaaaaaaa???" every time someone asks him a question, before answering.

I like Lee Sharpe - he is grounded, nice and he and Jayne Moaning Middlemiss would make a nice couple if only she would chill out. There is loads of schoolboy/schoolgirl pushing and shoving going on there too !

Michael Greco's hair looks like its been painted on (I still would though... )

Lady Isabella has a voice like a honking goose and a shrieking laugh that makes my teeth itch.

Abi Tits oot - blimey she looks rough without make up ! She is desperate for Callum but he may well go for The Loos woman and put her nose well out of joint. Abi is already acting like a jealous girlfriend whenever he says anything complimentary about other women, so that is bound to put him off.

Liz wotshername from Atomic Kitten - havent even heard her speak yet I dont think.....

Its utter rubbish but I shall dip in and out of the programme for a week or so, until it gets moved to the midnight slot LOL ......

Paul has a brain the size of a peanut.

Calum. Yuck.
Fran: Pumped up toss pot

Isabella: (looking at the dolphins) Lets give them some food, what do they eat?
Priceless.

A couple have redeeming features, but in general, I find it depressing that this sorry bunch represent the fame and "celebrity" of this country. I suddenly like Paul Burrell a lot more, at least there is some substance there, even if it is camp.

(ooh, Lionel is going off on another tantrum on the farm...gotta go....)

Its just been on the radio that Jayne Middlemiss wants "out" of the programme because Lee Sharpe has been trying to get off with Abi Tittmuss and she feels "toooortallleeee humiliated..." .

Easily humiliated these people, arent they? :glare:

Pandora, it's just a pure shambles :pooh:

Its just been on the radio that Jayne Middlemiss wants "out" of the programme because Lee Sharpe has been trying to get off with Abi Tittmuss and she feels "toooortallleeee humiliated..." .

Easily humiliated these people, arent they? :glare:

I cant quite get my head around this one - is she Lee Sharpe's wife or girlfriend? What rights does she have over him? Abi Titsout was quite clearly winding her up last night and she fell for it hook line and sinker, she could have acted with a bit more dignity - cool it girl! I thought Jayney was a tough northern lass, all we have seen her do is whinge and whine. God almighty how do they make such fools of themselves in front of millions of viewers and friends and family - is it really worth it?

whats happened the last two nights???

Can someone give me an update please??

I would be very grateful!!!

Janes behaviour has been quite odd. Before she went in it was all the 'I treat them mean to keep them keen', I am hard work as a girlfriend, I don't take no nonsense, rubbish they spout. Then once in she is crying and upset that Lee spoke and possibly flirted with another woman!!! So what. He and Jane were not going out, they had made no promises to one another and he didn't actually do anything with Abi.

This programme is absolute cack and I feel dirty after watching it :) but I can't help myself at the moment. I won't find it hard to dump CLI once BB is back though. Patrick and Kelly are not the best presenters in the world either. I don't think it will be long before it is moved to the graveyard slot - I would be very surprised if it even survives on air for 5 weeks never mind in its current slot.

Janes behaviour has been quite odd. Before she went in it was all the 'I treat them mean to keep them keen', I am hard work as a girlfriend, I don't take no nonsense, rubbish they spout. Then once in she is crying and upset that Lee spoke and possibly flirted with another woman!!! So what. He and Jane were not going out, they had made no promises to one another and he didn't actually do anything with Abi.

This programme is absolute cack and I feel dirty after watching it :) but I can't help myself at the moment. I won't find it hard to dump CLI once BB is back though. Patrick and Kelly are not the best presenters in the world either. I don't think it will be long before it is moved to the graveyard slot - I would be very surprised if it even survives on air for 5 weeks never mind in its current slot.


Oooops take most of this back - I am now hooked!!!