Your Bank is installing new "Drive-thru" cash point
machines, customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving
their vehicles. To enable users to use this new facility, the
following procedures have been drawn up. Please read the procedure
that applies to your own circumstances (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and
remember them for when you use the machine for the first time.
>>
>>
>>
>> MALE PROCEDURE
>>
>>
>>
>> 1 Drive up to the cash machine
>>
>> 2 Wind down your car window
>>
>> 3 Insert card into machine and enter PIN
>>
>> 4 Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
>>
>> 5 Retrieve card, cash and receipt
>>
>> 6 Wind up window
>>
>> 7 Drive off
>>
>>
>>
>> FEMALE PROCEDURE
>>
>>
>>
>> 1 Drive up to cash machine
>>
>> 2 Reverse back the required amount to align car window
>>to machine
>>
>> 3 Re-start the stalled engine
>>
>> 4 Wind down the window
>>
>> 5 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger
>>seat to locate card
>>
>> 6 Turn the radio down
>>
>> 7 Attempt to insert card into machine
>>
>> 8 Open car door to allow easier access to machine due
>>to its excessive distance from the car
>>
>> 9 Insert card
>>
>> 10 Re-insert card the right way up
>>
>> 11 Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN
>>written on the inside back page
>>
>> 12 Enter PIN
>>
>> 13 Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
>>
>> 14 Enter amount of cash required
>>
>> 15 Check make-up in rear view mirror
>>
>> 16 Retrieve cash and receipt
>>
>> 17 Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash
>>inside
>>
>> 18 Place receipt in back of cheque book
>>
>> 19 Re-check make-up again
>>
>> 20 Drive forwards 2 meters
>>
>> 21 Reverse back to cash machine
>>
>> 22 Retrieve card
>>
>> 23 Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place
>>card into the slot provided
>>
>> 24 Restart stalled engine and pull off
>>
>> 25 Drive for 2 to 3 miles
>>
>> 26 Smell burning - release handbrake :devil:

lmao! so true!

Position car in queue about ¼ cm behind car in front

Realise car in front is better than yours and retreat to a respectful 12in distance
Rearrange genitalia
Talk ostentatiously on mobile in the hopes that driver in front thinks you’re asking when the garage will have finished servicing your Jag.
Rearrange genitalia
Tap impatiently on steering wheel
Rearrange genitalia
Pick nose and examine the catch
Rearrange genitalia
Check nostril hair in rearview mirror
Realise queue has moved and give ‘******’ signal to driver behind as he is in a lesser car than you.
Repeat steps 3 –10 until car reaches cash machine
Lift buttocks and remove card from hip pocket
Rearrange genitalia
Place card in cash machine – NB if card is gold, or above, this must be done is such a way that the driver behind can see that you are tooled up.
Remove money and place in hip pocket with card
Rearrange genitalia
Gun car forward and rejoin main carriageway
Cast deprecating glance at woman who has skilfully braked to avoid tosser emerging from Drive-thru cash machine
Rearrange genitalia

Ha ha Haydon.

Although when I used these drive thru machines in America, I think Fee's description was more accurate:w00t:

Very funny :laugh:


But I have to agree that Fee's is far more realistic!

Ooh I like Fees description, :laugh: :laugh:

Although Haydon - yours was funny too - just not as funny as Fees.

Fee that is just pure sexist.

Oh PJ - I didn't mean to be sexist; that would be horribly patronising!

If you're not sure what that last word means, you will find it in a dictionary (big book of words)

:laugh:

Both are brilliant (although I suspect Fifi's was original!!!!). Oh how true. :w00t:

lmao Fee!!!! :D :laugh: and Haydon! tsk! tsk! such sexist twaddle! :glare:

lmao - very good Fee! Did you write that yourself?

I received the one I posted in an email. I can't claim it as mine.

Mine's an original Haydon...I felt inspired :laugh:

Fee you should send that to lots of people via email - I bet it make it all around the world by people forwarding it on and so forth.
Imagine how pleased you would be if months down the line it ended up being forwarded back to you! :w00t:

Fee....inspired LMAO... :cool2:

Haydon...yep seen it happen...just not by me or anyone I admit to knowing! :naughty:

Is there a seperate set of rules for those women who drive People carries and 4X4 to carry their 1 very small child around in? :glare:

Rearrange genitalia
Pick nose and examine the catch
Rearrange genitalia


lol! my favourite of the instructions!! :laugh:

lol! my favourite of the instructions!! :laugh:
And not one bit true... :whistling

I totally agree PJ - I don't know where she has got her ideas from. :angel_not

*rearranges genitalia*
I totally agree PJ - I don't know where she has got her ideas from.
*rearranges genitalia*




Me neither :angel_not

lol
Jeez, I've left that damn web cam on again. ;)