Egged on by Cat (who will probably laugh if this thread falls flat on it's face) I want to hear all your housework get-outs.

I've already tried:

Get Well card at the ready for when visitors arrive unexpectedly. You lay back weakly on the sofa and claim that you've been too ill to do anything.

On hearing hubby's key in the lock you quickly stand by hoover and wind up the lead and wipe your brow as if you have just finished.

Spray furniture polish into the air - he will think you've been polishing everywhere (let's face it, they never notice the dust anyway).

Cat's suggestion:

Keep basket of laundry handy to hide magazines, choccies etc. in and answer the door carrying said basket, as if you have been sooo busy when you've really been reading a book and stuffing your face.

OK - any more out there ideas?:devil:

When you don't have time to bath baby, rub it's hair with a wet flannel with Johnsons Baby Shampoo on it. People always smell the head of a baby and your dirty baby will smell lovely and clean.

I favour moving house when the mess gets too unbearable. :w00t:

Alternatively, have the good fortune to marry a tidy and houseproud man who does the washing up without being asked. ;)

Bribe your teenagers to do it all for you - with you can stay up and watch so & so, you can stay out later etc etc

Instant tidy bedroom:

Open top dressing table drawer and just swipe everything in there (make sure tops are on bottles first)

Kick everything on the floor under the bed but remember to retrieve old socks and pants before they blend in with the rest of the dust under there.

Open wardrobe and throw everything else that shouldn't be on show inside and lean on door to shut it.

Pull duvet cover up over crumpled pillows.

Spray liberally with deodorant

Have problem - wardrobe, underneath bed and drawer is full and it keeps jumping out at me.

To the crease test on all cloths before purchasing (screw it up in hand, if its creases easy leave it), this saves hours of ironing.
Hang all clothes up or fold them as soon as they come out of tumble dryer as they get less creases.
If you can't avoid it, hand it up in the shower room and take a hot steamy shower, some of the creases will fall out, even better have a long soak in the bath.
Keep birthday cards up for weeks - it saves you having to dust
Also don't touch the dust, it looks worse when someones finger is through it.
Don't get dogs or children or husband - they make it all worse.
Move in to student accomodation where uni does not trust you to clean so sends cleaning lady around once a week (although she doesn't do ironing)

If clothes are a bit smelly - freshen up by popping into the tumble dryer with a sheet of bounce = good as new.

Instant tidy bedroom:

Open top dressing table drawer and just swipe everything in there (make sure tops are on bottles first)

Kick everything on the floor under the bed but remember to retrieve old socks and pants before they blend in with the rest of the dust under there.

Open wardrobe and throw everything else that shouldn't be on show inside and lean on door to shut it.

Pull duvet cover up over crumpled pillows.

Spray liberally with deodorant

So now I knowwhat you did yesterday. :wink2:

If clothes are a bit smelly - freshen up by popping into the tumble dryer with a sheet of bounce = good as new.
Hmmm this explains a lot of things....like ooh blast where did that wet patch/stain come from.......gosh I must have sat in something on your chair :laugh:

Yeah right....now i know!!!

To the crease test on all cloths before purchasing (screw it up in hand, if its creases easy leave it), this saves hours of ironing.

I so do this :D

Hang all clothes up or fold them as soon as they come out of tumble dryer as they get less creases.

and this...

Also don't touch the dust, it looks worse when someones finger is through it.

and this :D

So now I knowwhat you did yesterday. :wink2:

Darnit Mazz I didn't think you would be home so soon and this would have disappeared before you saw it :bag:

If guests are due with short notice, throw dust sheets everywhere and pretend the decorators are due.

Bribe your teenagers to do it all for you - with you can stay up and watch so & so, you can stay out later etc etc

I have two teenage sons - as far as housework goes they seem totally unbribeable:sad:

Have at least one room with a closed door that you only open when you are chucking in some 'stuff'.

Have at least one room with a closed door that you only open when you are chucking in some 'stuff'.

Ooh Fee, this was my one.
Always have a spare room to move all that stuff from all the other rooms you have tidied up, and close the door :w00t:

I have two now Andrea :ninja:

Have at least one room with a closed door that you only open when you are chucking in some 'stuff'.

Oh dammit! I was trying to forget that I had thrown all the sleeping bags in a heap on the floor of the spare room and leaned on the door before all the junk fell out!!

It's not fair - I want a spare room now :wallbash:


*ils stamps her foot in frustration*

Use Miss Ils's! Double whammy - you get a spare room AND you'll have it tidied for you everytime she comes home. :thumbsup:

It's not fair - I want a spare room now :wallbash:


*ils stamps her foot in frustration*

I haven't really got a spare room as such ILS. Because my son's flat downstairs is only a 1 bedroom flat he and Tom have to share a room. Consequently my "spare" room has really become Tom's room. It's full of his toys and stuff and he and I decorated it in shades of blue and put "glow in the dark stars and moons all over the ceiling.

It's a right mess at the best of times because you know what kids are like, never put anything away after them. He usually only sleeps there on "my" weekends and when I'm officially looking after him but he is always up here digging out stuff he wants.

The room I would really like as a spare room is the loft conversion. It's huge about 24 feet by 18 feet, but Mr. C has commandeered it for his model aeroplanes and there isn't a square foot of space up there :mad2:

The room I would really like as a spare room is the loft conversion. It's huge about 24 feet by 18 feet, but Mr. C has commandeered it for his model aeroplanes and there isn't a square foot of space up there :mad2:

Thats soooo typical of men isnt it.

Im having the same problem with Mr.B. When we moved to our house there was a 30 foot by 18 foot shed / workshop at the end of the garden and 3 outhouses (although there are small). Mr.B has nicked all of them and STILL complains that he hasnt enough room :wink2:

He also has the 3rd bedroom as his office.

I on the other hand have nothing :closedeye

Use Miss Ils's! Double whammy - you get a spare room AND you'll have it tidied for you everytime she comes home. :thumbsup:

If only I could, but she has lent it to her youngest brother whilst she is not here! I need an extention for all my junk :shocking:

If you squint.....the dust disappears from view! :)

If you squint.....the dust disappears from view! :)

Works if you are drunk too.....GET THE BEERS IN COASTIE!

put the baby in velour track suit bottoms and she'll polish the floor for you.

.......Et voila!!!

http://www.welaf.com/resources/files/1097566476.jpg

Love it, love it Fee. Now where do I get me one of them thar automatic floor polishers? ;)

Love it, love it Fee. Now where do I get me one of them thar automatic floor polishers? ;)
Do they do adult ones ??? If so i might invest :laugh:

Do they do adult ones ??? If so i might invest :laugh:

Often find yourself shuffling around on all fours then Bonnie :naughty:

Often find yourself shuffling around on all fours then Bonnie :naughty:

I aim to please :wink_kiss

Another Lazy Bint tip:

Fed up with cleaning the top of the gas cooker? Give it one final clean up then cut 2 lengths of tin foil. Take off the chrome rings, etc. and lay the tin foil on the top. Press down round the rings so you see where they are positioned and make star shaped cuts so you can press it down over the gas rings. Repeat for the other side. Replace chrome thingies.

Whip them off just before mother-in-law or houseproud friend arrives. If you forget, make up some excuse like "I was boiling fish heads for the cat and I find it stains the top" or something along those lines.

I wish I could patent this cos I'm sure there is a market for it - I'd buy them :bag:

Just say you don't want to disturb the ecosystem.

M

I've found it works to marry a builder: Mine has spent close to 20 years demolishing and rebuilding bits of the house; consequently, none of it ever gets finished which means I only have to have a quick sweep round once a year (Christmas when the rellies are iminent) and the rest of the year I blame it on the building work knowing that if he makes a big enough mess he'll feel guilty and wreck yet another hoover clearing it all up (wish I could explain the concept of emptying the hoover bag to him!!).

One of these days he'll actually finish a room and then I'm in trouble.

I've found it works to marry a builder: Mine has spent close to 20 years demolishing and rebuilding bits of the house; consequently, none of it ever gets finished which means I only have to have a quick sweep round once a year (Christmas when the rellies are iminent) and the rest of the year I blame it on the building work knowing that if he makes a big enough mess he'll feel guilty and wreck yet another hoover clearing it all up (wish I could explain the concept of emptying the hoover bag to him!!).

One of these days he'll actually finish a room and then I'm in trouble.

Lol - welcome to Lazy Bints United ;) I like your style :naughty:

Good one Random_Spark :D

To mop floors simply stand on two wet wipes and skate over them - works for me :D

Had to put this in here due to it being about housework.

Apparently the other day, hubby was talking to his dad, and they were talking about another member of the family and how their house always looked a tip.
Well, my FIL said that I would never have it looking like that, that I always look after our house.
Wooooo, I can't believe it, I'm not the best at cleaning but at least I manage to give out the right impression :thumbsup: