DYJHIW - You spend 2000 SOM's on a wave effect for your user name (cos it seems appropriate) and well....your user name becomes near on illegible! :sad:

I want my SOM's back! :mad2:

Sorry who are you

DYJHIW - A mate's being slated but you can't step in to help.


I've gone all curious now. What's happening and why can't you help?

I've gone all curious now. What's happening and why can't you help?

Is it something to do with being impartial like a referee Nox?

could put out a fire by looking at it.

Normally i would think 'just ignore her', but i cant as im still in training

Just try and reassure yourself in the thought that there are many people like this in most jobs. Consider them just to be extra's from the Stepford Wive's. If i had a pound for every instance similar to yours when passing one of these creatures in the workplace, i'd have enough put away to purchase an island especially for each and every one of them, with plenty of change left over to charter a fleet of ships to transport them all over to it so they can then pass one another in complete and utter blissful oblivion. The island would be called Oblivious, naturally.

.....also, i love your little expression there.....did you actually make that up or is it something you picked up from another source?

You REALLY begin to wonder if you are in the right job :sad:

I mean, the money is great, and the location is even better - but the atmosphere is terrible, mainly due to my colleague who could put out a fire by looking at it. She is sooooo cold and frosty.

Normally i would think 'just ignore her', but i cant as im still in training

Awww Bonnie darling, sorry to hear this!!!!

Perhaps she needs a good sh*g??? you know, to lighten her up a bit and bring on the happy hormones - perhaps she isnt getting any!!!! You should pity her!

And if all else fails, just imagine her sat on the loo, trying with all her might to do a :pooh: ..............with piles as big as a bunch of grapes hanging from her bum...... that mental pic should help you see past the frosty old bag!

Awww Bonnie darling, sorry to hear this!!!!

Perhaps she needs a good sh*g??? you know, to lighten her up a bit and bring on the happy hormones - perhaps she isnt getting any!!!! You should pity her!

And if all else fails, just imagine her sat on the loo, trying with all her might to do a :pooh: ..............with piles as big as a bunch of grapes hanging from her bum...... that mental pic should help you see past the frosty old bag!

there goes my sandwich........:sad:

:w00t: Queenie, you do make me laugh, and thanks Woodstock.

Basically she is just a cow. I have just had a good whinge about her to my other colleague (who is a gem), and she cant stand her either so its not just me. She is currently trying to get another job, but noone will employ her (i wonder why :ninja: ). Im keeping everything crossed though that she will find something soon and bog off.

I mean, i do need her for some training, but i have been here for about 6 weeks now, and im finding that each day im having to ask her questions less and less - so hopefully i would manage if she wasnt around.

I tell you, if it wasnt for the money i think i would of walked weeks ago. I just keep hoping that things will get better.

there goes my sandwich........:sad:


:oops: sorry :wink_kiss

DYJHIW.....

the leg on your glasses snap off and you have to wander around with a bit of sellotape on them at a squint :cool:

DYJHIW.....

the leg on your glasses snap off and you have to wander around with a bit of sellotape on them at a squint :cool:
Lol - so you look like Jack Duckworth at the moment do you :laugh:

Lol - so you look like Jack Duckworth at the moment do you :laugh:

:ranting:

don't like that comparison.

luckly have contacts for during the day, but nighttime its the jack duckworth look though dont tell everyone.

:ranting:

don't like that comparison.

luckly have contacts for during the day, but nighttime its the jack duckworth look though dont tell everyone.

alright Jack ..............O. sorry Becks

:ranting:

don't like that comparison.

luckly have contacts for during the day, but nighttime its the jack duckworth look though dont tell everyone.

OK - its our little secret ... Sssshhhhhhhh :)

DYJHIW....

The anticipated murder of Benji by Pillock never materialised as Benji's owner wimped out. http://tcwozere.co.uk/smileys/couch.gif http://www.lavasoftsupport.com/html/emoticons/thumbdown.gif

DYJHIW....

The anticipated murder of Benji by Pillock never materialised as Benji's owner wimped out. http://tcwozere.co.uk/smileys/couch.gif http://www.lavasoftsupport.com/html/emoticons/thumbdown.gif

it would have been a blood bath

it would have been a blood bath

Yes, it's tragic isn't it? http://www.countingcows.de/baeh1_boese.gif

DYJHIW....

The anticipated murder of Benji by Pillock never materialised as Benji's owner wimped out. http://tcwozere.co.uk/smileys/couch.gif http://www.lavasoftsupport.com/html/emoticons/thumbdown.gif

:mad2: take that back missus :mad2: I think you will find that the Pillock never turned up ........ or is that Pillocks owner ..... or are they one and the same :wacko:

it would have been a blood bath
Yes it would, thats why Pillock never turned up ... the scardy custard - she couldnt handle the MIGHTY Benji :pimp:

Yes it would, thats why Pillock never turned up ... the scardy custard - she couldnt handle the MIGHTY Benji :pimp:


Yes, clearly. :bag:

*sigh*

Pillock has been sitting in the Arena waiting for someone/anyone to turn up for the last 4 days.

Benji, let's see what you're made of

(literally)

*sigh*

Pillock has been sitting in the Arena waiting for someone/anyone to turn up for the last 4 days.

Benji, let's see what you're made of

(literally)

Petz have been taking the advise from the bullying thread....ignore the bully and he'll get bored and go away! :wink2:

....... verysad ......

DYJHIW - you have all your kitchen appliances surrounding you in your lounge diner and you can't use your cooker, washing machine or dishwasher until they finish the floor tomorrow.....

DYJHIW - you have all your kitchen appliances surrounding you in your lounge diner and you can't use your cooker, washing machine or dishwasher until they finish the floor tomorrow.....


jeeeeeeeeze ILS, is that not finished yet??? I would be in a straight jacket and padded cell by now if I was in your shoes :mad1: :wallbash:

jeeeeeeeeze ILS, is that not finished yet??? I would be in a straight jacket and padded cell by now if I was in your shoes :mad1: :wallbash:

No it isn't :ranting:

I can't even go into the kitchen until the laytex is dry (he thinks that will be about 5pm) and then he is coming back in the morning to lay the floor, and if I am lucky someone will be back tomorrow afternoon to move the appliances back and to reconnect the cooker.....

DYJHIW you wash the curtains to go back in your daughter's newly decorated room, and as you hang the valance on the line the other end falls into the grass which has plenty of mud entwined with it. grrrrrr :ranting:

DYJHIW you wash the curtains to go back in your daughter's newly decorated room, and as you hang the valance on the line the other end falls into the grass which has plenty of mud entwined with it. grrrrrr :ranting:
Awwwwww, it'll brush off when its dry :)

Awwwwww, it'll brush off when its dry :)

Bonnie, I am loving your approach :laugh:

DYJHIW you have nothing interesting to do at work, the minutes are passing like HOURS and the only thing you have to look forward to is lunch with your mate.

And then she blows you out! :cry:

Bonnie, I am loving your approach :laugh:

Thats me all over when it comes to housework. Do as little as possible. I wouldnt bother washing it again, i would just hope the worst would brush off :ninja:

:w00t: Queenie, you do make me laugh, and thanks Woodstock.

Basically she is just a cow. I have just had a good whinge about her to my other colleague (who is a gem), and she cant stand her either so its not just me. She is currently trying to get another job, but noone will employ her (i wonder why :ninja: ). Im keeping everything crossed though that she will find something soon and bog off.

I mean, i do need her for some training, but i have been here for about 6 weeks now, and im finding that each day im having to ask her questions less and less - so hopefully i would manage if she wasnt around.

I tell you, if it wasnt for the money i think i would of walked weeks ago. I just keep hoping that things will get better.


OOOOOhhhh im building up for a whinge of HUGE proportions now (are you all sitting comfortably).

Basically its hard to explain (good start) but i needed her to train me on a particularly hard part of the job. The bosses asked if she would sit with me at my computer whilst i did the work and she supervised .... but no, i had to sit behind her whilst she whizzed around the computer at top speed so i couldnt see what she was doing. I asked her to slow down and explain but she didnt.

This all happened about a week ago.

So - this morning came MY first time to do it, and the bosses asked her to show me the ropes again. She said "no, why should i. When i joined i had to try and suss it out myself". They told her off and said they would rather she show me, than me worry about it and make mistakes.

But as soon as the bosses went to see clients she said that she wouldnt help me :mellow: So i have had to try and do it all myself, and no doubt have made a right pigs ear of it. Then, to make matters worse whenever i asked a question she said she was too busy - but was sat reading a magazine :mad2:

My other colleague said i should complain about her, but what would be the point. She would only have a go at me for it, so their really isnt much point !!

DYJHIW Once again, walking through my flat in shoeless I slide through cat's vomit.......

DYJHIW Once again, walking through my flat in shoeless I slide through cat's vomit.......

Hmmmm, doncha just hate it when that happens :w00t:

But as soon as the bosses went to see clients she said that she wouldnt help me :mellow: So i have had to try and do it all myself, and no doubt have made a right pigs ear of it. Then, to make matters worse whenever i asked a question she said she was too busy - but was sat reading a magazine :mad2:

My other colleague said i should complain about her, but what would be the point. She would only have a go at me for it, so their really isnt much point !!

Bonnie, I'd have a word with your boss. Something on the lines of "I've done this but had to do it all myself because so and so said she was to busy to show me. I hope I haven't made any mistakes, I did the best I could under the circumstance"

Just to cover your back, so that if you have made any mistakes the bosses know that the "woman" if you can call her that didn't help you one bit.

Bon, I agree with Andrea, this evil cow is using the fact that you probably wont go to the boss as you are new to BULLY you!!!! STOP it now petal - the pox ridden hoooor (OMG - the Wilbur Smith books are getting to me!!!!) shouldnt be allowed to get away with it!!!

DYJHIW you have to log off and do the housework :cry: see you later when my jobs are done peeps :bye:

Bonnie - I agree with Andrea and Queenie [and wish I had the worldly vocabulary to call her a pox ridden hooooor - LOL].


DYJHIW ... you start to pluck a couple of moustache hairs, and then can't really stop till you have plucked the whole 2,500 out??? OUCH!!! I know it is red nose day - but at the mo in this house it is red upper lip day!!!

dyjhiw - when you have to work on a Saturday, it is extremely busy over 70 calls waiting to be answered and there is hardly any staff in :ranting:

DYJHIW ... you start to pluck a couple of moustache hairs, and then can't really stop till you have plucked the whole 2,500 out??? OUCH!!! I know it is red nose day - but at the mo in this house it is red upper lip day!!!

I LOVE when we share like this!

DYJHIW.... you have a persistent bristly hair on your cheek that no matter how hard you try every time you go to pluck it you just can't quite grip and yank firmly at the same time!

I LOVE when we share like this!

DYJHIW.... you have a persistent bristly hair on your cheek that no matter how hard you try every time you go to pluck it you just can't quite grip and yank firmly at the same time!
It was only in the last year or so that I had a conversation with female friends about chin hairs. I had no idea this was something people even knew about. I was gobsmacked when they were telling me that they regularly checked each other for wayward hairs. I obviously had a sheltered upbringing!

It was only in the last year or so that I had a conversation with female friends about chin hairs. I had no idea this was something people even knew about. I was gobsmacked when they were telling me that they regularly checked each other for wayward hairs. I obviously had a sheltered upbringing!

LOL tonee - a girl freind of mine called last night with her partner, to take Mr F to an evening out at the pub. They stayed for a quick cuppa and whilst the boys were talking auctions - she motioned to me for tweezers, so we whipped to my bedroom and I de-haired her chin!!!:laugh:

LOL tonee - a girl freind of mine called last night with her partner, to take Mr F to an evening out at the pub. They stayed for a quick cuppa and whilst the boys were talking auctions - she motioned to me for tweezers, so we whipped to my bedroom and I de-haired her chin!!!:laugh:
it is the underground movement of female grooming!

DYJHIW - Brighton get trounced 5-1 and have a player sent off :ranting:

DYJHIW....no one on the board wants to stick their pet in the Arena for a good old fashioned bloodfest. :sad:

the person you have fallen in love with calls you on the phone but you are not able to call them back...:sad: (http://www.survivor-online.co.uk/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=0&forumid=8#)

:wallbash: (http://www.survivor-online.co.uk/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=0&forumid=8#)

the person you have fallen in love with calls you on the phone but you are not able to call them back...:sad: (http://www.survivor-online.co.uk/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=0&forumid=8#)

:wallbash: (http://www.survivor-online.co.uk/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=0&forumid=8#)
Why didn't you answer it then? :unsure:

I'm sure they'll call back though. :D

DYJHIW....Dolores still hasn't explained who yesterday's mystery e-mail was from....:sad:

DYJHIW - your sons team play terribly and only draw 1-1 ....

DYJHIW....Dolores still hasn't explained who yesterday's mystery e-mail was from....:sad:

gosh, it's really not that interesting! he's just a mate who I adore! :wub:

DYJHIW - you burn your fingers on the steam from the iron :cry:

ouch .......... http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_5_134.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZNxdm22755GB)

DJYHIW.... you get some tarmasolata for a treat and it's just really really tasteless. damn you Morrisons and your cheap tasteless food!

DYJHIW.....

"christians"

that's all I have to say on the matter.

DYJHIW.....

"christians"

that's all I have to say on the matter.

feed 'em to the lions I say, Floops ... or the cat!

you sent a request to the management 2 nights ago and it has been completely ignored.

DYJHIW - you realise you have your thong on inside out :blush:

feed 'em to the lions I say, Floops ... or the cat!
....all except Claire....:unsure: (http://www.survivor-online.co.uk/forums/misc.php?do=getsmilies&wysiwyg=0&forumid=8#)

DYJHIW - you realise you have your thong on inside out :blush:

at least you have got your pants ON for a change :w00t:......................:shocking:

DYJHIW it gets a bit "bickery" on the MB :glare:

feed 'em to the lions I say, Floops ... or the cat!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/Woodstock73/NewImage226.jpg............................:shocki ng:......."oh Jesus!"

DYJHIW - you think you will have a couple of strawberries with a cup of tea and end up eating the whole punnett....

DYJHIW - you think you will have a couple of strawberries with a cup of tea and end up eating the whole punnett....


Where's that piggie smiley gone? ;) :)

You could have shared! :sad:

Where's that piggie smiley gone? ;) :)

You could have shared! :sad:

I don't do sharing (not when it comes to strawberries anyway) :eat:

When people do judge a book by its cover especially when its getting a bit old and wrinkly

you just sit down with a cup of tea or coffee for the first time in hours...and some person knocks the door

I don't do sharing (not when it comes to strawberries anyway) :eat:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/Woodstock73/182.jpg


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v672/Woodstock73/NewImage10.jpg

.....that's what you think.......

DYJHIW - you realise you have your thong on inside out :blush:

When I first started reading that I thought you were going to say "back to front":shocking:

dyjhiw idiots with nothing better to do, or anywhere else to go, throw a spanner in the works for no reason.

When I first started reading that I thought you were going to say "back to front":shocking:

I would hope I would have noticed that immediately :shocking:

DYJHIW - you feel crap :cry:

DYJHIW - ILS feels crap... :hug:

aww thanks for the hug dab, I feel better already :D

DYJHIW its cack weather........I started the back garden yesterday and had great plans for today, its peeeeeeing it down, its battleship grey and miserable - the only bonus is, I am applying for jobs and doing Mr Q's accounts while gassing to you lot too!

dyjhiw you really, really want to go and have a boozy pub lunch and watch the racing at cheltenham, and for some reason your boss doesn't see life the way you do......

.
.
.
.
btw get better soon ils :hug:

DYJHIW it starts peeing it down outside and you have to run to get your washing in.

Then you realise that the underwear is missing:ohmy: It was on one of those hanger thingies that you can get loads of socks and knickers on. You eventually find it, it had blown over the fence and was lying in the middle of the alley:blush:

I thought of washing it again, but took Bonnie's advice from a few days ago and just brushed it all down and its now looking very clean:laugh:

DYJHIW it starts peeing it down outside and you have to run to get your washing in.

Then you realise that the underwear is missing:ohmy: It was on one of those hanger thingies that you can get loads of socks and knickers on. You eventually find it, it had blown over the fence and was lying in the middle of the alley:blush:

I thought of washing it again, but took Bonnie's advice from a few days ago and just brushed it all down and its now looking very clean:laugh:

I hope there are no stains on your knickers now Andrea

Not yet, Cockers:wink2: :ninja:

You get forms through the post that have booklets explaining how to fill them in would it be too simple to just make the questions more obvious.

DYJHIW - You get June and July mixed up! :wallbash:

You start feeling really ill on Thursday - when the weekend you've been longing for so much is just around the corner!

Pray I get better, I feel awful! :sad:

You start feeling really ill on Thursday - when the weekend you've been longing for so much is just around the corner!

Pray I get better, I feel awful! :sad:

Aww pants...get well soon poppet! :hug:

You start feeling really ill on Thursday - when the weekend you've been longing for so much is just around the corner!

Pray I get better, I feel awful! :sad:

Get well soon C.

By the way, your pussys looking a bit worse for wear too - what you done to him? :(

You start feeling really ill on Thursday - when the weekend you've been longing for so much is just around the corner!

Pray I get better, I feel awful! :sad:

Awww Claire, its pants when that happens isnt it, hope you feel better soon hun :hug: have a lazy weekend.....

You cant sleep but you are tired

You want everybody to laugh and laugh like you are doing at your posts in the "Insult the person above" thread and nobody does :mad2:

I was hysterical with laughter whilst posting last night, I haven't had so much fun in ages!! Then I got scared everybody might think I'm nasty!! :angel_not

:pimp:

The really nasty people don't post in there, Claire, it's too easy :pimp:

You get all excited about getting on-line outside of working hours in the hope of a little chattage in the chat room only to find that the darn thing wont connect! :ranting:

You're absolutely knackered, and have no idea how you can possibly get through another hour in the office. I can barely keep my eyes open :mellow:

You bet on a fight you can't afford, lose, now in debt - and your pet is really ill. :cry:

You bet on a fight you can't afford, lose, now in debt - and your pet is really ill. :cry:


aaah, is there anything I can do for him?

....Tommy and Pillock AREN'T having a fight......... :sad:

aaah, is there anything I can do for him?
Well, I have some SOMS, donated by the lovely Ceridwen.
I'm going to buy some things to make him happy again, and just hope he doesn't hate me for putting him through all that trauma. :cry:

....Tommy and Pillock AREN'T having a fight......... :sad:

Pillock is too scared to fight Tommy :D :bag: :ninja:

DYJHIW you have an e-mail from the National Lottery to tell you that you won on Wednesday's draw, but the site is down, so I dont know how much! :wallbash:

DYJHIW you have an e-mail from the National Lottery to tell you that you won on Wednesday's draw, but the site is down, so I dont know how much! :wallbash:
That must be awfull my dear friend. I loved your picture of your bed room by the the way...and I have always admired your rug.

:wink_kiss

DYJHIW everyone knows the meaning of these letter things except you. I get there eventually and then rto.

That must be awfull my dear friend. I loved your picture of your bed room by the the way...and I have always admired your rug.

:wink_kiss

I think it's his own hair Cat! :shock: :bag:


DYJHIW.....

you get a takeaway curry as a treat and it is truly vile - a very very red tikka masala - I'm sure I read somewhere that this isn't a good colour for it! Next time I will make my own or get it from Asda.

DYJHIW.....

you're going out on Monday night (that's good) for a drink (that's very good) and two people who you have embarrassed yourself in front of recently on two separate occasions will be there! :blush: d'oh! .... oh well i wil have to get ****ed again so that I can handle it!

DYJHIW.....

you're going out on Monday night (that's good) for a drink (that's very good) and two people who you have embarrassed yourself in front of recently on two separate occasions will be there! :blush: d'oh! .... oh well i wil have to get ****ed again so that I can handle it!

Don't worry, you are not alone, and your recollection is probably much more detailed and worse than theirs... Enjoy it, who gives a monkeys!!


Don't you just hate it when...

Nobody votes in your "Dreams" poll in SO Soapbox...:cry:

Please vote everybody... I'd really like to see the poll soaring!! :blush:

Don't you just hate it when [I had to type that out in full I am in a state of crossness] ... you spend most of the day preparing two industrial sized veggie lasagnes [with 10 veg in] and bechamel sauce to feed The Pilgrims [people form all over the country who do a west to east coast hike - and stay in village halls on their journey].

You get to the village hall and need to heat the lasgnes up - so super efficient mrs organiser [not me] puts them in the oven on a low heat!!! - and 15 mins later they are burnt to a black crisp on the top as she had the grill on and not the oven, not to worry I think, I will whip the cheesy top bit off and the bechamel and veg will be OK - underneath. So we put them on the hob [electric] and hasn't Mrs super efficient organiser left the hob plates on [you can't tell cos it is electric and ancient] - and they burn within moments to a black crisp on the bottom!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

We had 16 pilgrims to feed - so I whipped up some rice with a whole packet of frozen mixed veg shoved in - and removed the middle bits of the lasagne and mixed it into a sort of mush [for want of a better word]. And thankfully someone had a chilli in their freezer so they whipped home and we defrosted that, so with their puds - it would have been an OK meal.

I had to leave cos Naith had to go to bed - I am laughing about it now, and it only happened about 1 1/2 hours ago - but honestly!!!!

Oh blimey Flip - what a blummin nightmare for you :wacko:



DYJHIW you have to go on a course this afternoon :bored: Im dreading it. Its for an online system we have to use here, and im at BASIC level and its an ADVANCED course so i wont understand a blummin word of it !!!!

Also - my little dawg seems to have an infection in his ears, and is scratching the poor little things off !!! I would of taken him to the vet after work tonight, but due to this course, i cant :ranting:

:wallbash: BLX - DYJHIW - because you forgot to untick the ruddy box when you bought a wave effect instead of removing it the store simply took ya SOMs and ran...leaving you all squiggly! :wallbash:

DYJHIW - Brighton lose again :cry: and now much to close to the relegation zone again

:wallbash: BLX - DYJHIW - because you forgot to untick the ruddy box when you bought a wave effect instead of removing it the store simply took ya SOMs and ran...leaving you all squiggly! :wallbash:

DYJHW I might have to rely on you to push the right button to save my live one day



I am never going sailing again

DYJHIW you have to go to bed and you're going to miss the end of the fun in the ITPAT :huh:

DYJHW I might have to rely on you to push the right button to save my live one day



I am never going sailing again........ Wahoo one less casualty risk!

DYJHIW - Cockers has doubt in your ability to push the big red button! :sad:

You can't sleep, but you are really really tired...:shocking:

You can't sleep, but you are really really tired...:shocking:

YES! :ranting:

But hey I'm off to bed in oooo about 3 more hours.....snuggle, snuggle!

From yesterday, DYJHIW people walk down the street with their head facing sideways ie not looking where they are going. Or people standing at the entrance/exit door blocking it for everyone. Or people walking out of a lift and stopping. Or,as you are looking at a section in a store, someone comes and stands right in front of the section you are looking at blocking your view. Or, in the cinema, people arriving late and then sitting directly in front of you when there are plenty of seats/spaces elsewhere.

From yesterday, DYJHIW people walk down the street with their head facing sideways ie not looking where they are going. Or people standing at the entrance/exit door blocking it for everyone. Or people walking out of a lift and stopping. Or,as you are looking at a section in a store, someone comes and stands right in front of the section you are looking at blocking your view. Or, in the cinema, people arriving late and then sitting directly in front of you when there are plenty of seats/spaces elsewhere.
I hate every one of those too. :ranting:

Ditto Tonee!

DYJHIW - There is no-one else awake! :sad:

.......... you're eating a sausage and egg sarny and the yolk runs down your arm............

.......... you're eating a sausage and egg sarny and the yolk runs down your arm............

No :cry: I wouldn't hate that at all.................

Very tolerant, or just not fussy?

Just starving :unsure:

Would you like to lick my plate? I'm spent.

:blush: Best offer I've had in the last 24 hours..............

You need to get out more ............. Duncan from Blue has just offered to father my child. What should I do?

You need to get out more ............. Duncan from Blue has just offered to father my child. What should I do?

Don't touch him with a barge pole Pats - he's Jamie Oliver's ugly twin!


DYJHIW.....

...you've got haemarroids! ouch! http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/im/pita.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYAXGB) (PITA = Pain in the Ar*e ... apparently!)

...which reminds me of another time I had them (I'm a matryr to them!!) when I asked in the chemist what shelf the cream was she said the bottom!!!! how I laughed :w00t: - she just looked really snooty!!:sleep:

Don't touch him with a barge pole Pats - he's Jamie Oliver's ugly twin!


DYJHIW.....

...you've got haemarroids! ouch! http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/im/pita.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYAXGB) (PITA = Pain in the Ar*e ... apparently!)

...which reminds me of another time I had them (I'm a matryr to them!!) when I asked in the chemist what shelf the cream was she said the bottom!!!! how I laughed :w00t: - she just looked really snooty!!:sleep:

Sorry, Dol - I know there's a similarity between the two, but I believe him to be truly beautiful, and fertile apparently. Actually, scrub that - I really don't want fertile. OK, John Cusack or George Clooney. I think JC would make me laugh more. I liked a post coital laugh.

Never suffered with the little buggers, glad to say, so big sympathy to you.

DYJHIW
You're at your friend's house and you get dressed and your bra strap breaks and she doesn't wear them unless she's pregnant, which she isn't BTW.

DYJHIW you are waiting for visitors to come and they haven't told you what time they are expecting to arrive as in morning or afternoon. You rush around getting ready then just hang about. Mr M took the phone call needless to say I would have asked for a few more specifics, don't even know if they require feeding or not and it could be five or even eight if they all come.

re the piles never could spell the hemmy things it amuses me that the cream for them is called Anusol silly I know but its the little things that amuse unless they're piles of course.

DYJHIW - you got so cold watching the athletics that even though you have been home over an hour and the heating is turned up high you are still cold!

Have a nice hot bath, poppet. I know exactly what you mean. I'm a rugby mum. It's a winter sport, nuff said.

The thing is my other son does Football so I know all about being cold, but athletics is a summer sport so I didn't think it is only march and is still cold - the silly cow that I am :wacko:

Oh, I am so glad I have got girls!! I have watched my nephew playing rugby but I am not that dedicated to go and watch him the rain! :laugh: Credit to football and rugby mums.......and dads!!

DYJHIW - the new floor in your kitchen has started lifting in one place, so you are going to have to get the builders back again!!

DYJHIW you had planned to clean your floor, swept it, cleared the room, filled the bucket and realised your husband STILL hasn't bought any floor cleaner (did I mention he does the shopping, ironing and most of the cooking?)

DYJHIW you had planned to clean your floor, swept it, cleared the room, filled the bucket and realised your husband STILL hasn't bought any floor cleaner (did I mention he does the shopping, ironing and most of the cooking?)


Any chance of sending your hubby to the Portsmouth meet then, I'm sure we could all do with a go of that....:whistling:

Sorry, that would mean I would have to get out of my chair. Ain't gonna happen.

Sorry, that would mean I would have to get out of my chair. Ain't gonna happen.


That is SO unfair. We all share here you know!! :laugh:

You would have to be really really nice to me. I like 23 year old men, chocolate and money.

DYJHIW - the bank holiday is over and you have to go back to work :sad:

DJYHIW.....


there's loads of "Games and Riddles" postings when you do search for new posts! ...just my personal view but I can't stand any of those games!

DJYHIW.....


there's loads of "Games and Riddles" postings when you do search for new posts! ...just my personal view but I can't stand any of those games!
But that is where you get to transform the new post area from DYJHIW to DYJLIW ie post in the areas you like and oust the enemy!

DJYHIW.....


there's loads of "Games and Riddles" postings when you do search for new posts! ...just my personal view but I can't stand any of those games!

T be honest I felt much the same as you, I've recently started playing and actually find it interesting... if only for a second..

T be honest I felt much the same as you, I've recently started playing and actually find it interesting... if only for a second..

I'm with you Claire, I love playing games. :naughty:

DYJHIW your PC keeps logging you out of Internet Explorer :angry:

DYJHIW - the site is running slow again :ranting:

DYJHIW the site is running slow and you think it's your computer so you meddle with things you know nothing about :ranting:

DYJHIW - Browsing in general is slow, and Yahoo UK has been off all weekend

DYJHIW - the site is running slow again :ranting:

It's cos its super busy thanks to Ceri's "Clique" thread and the re-emergence of Woodstock.

Everyone is rubber-necking! :laugh:

It's cos its super busy thanks to Ceri's "Clique" thread and the re-emergence of Woodstock.

Everyone is rubber-necking! :laugh:

Well if it's this slow with only about 30 people on, wtf is it going to be like when we have the next IAC - it will be worst than the last one!

Well if it's this slow with only about 30 people on, wtf is it going to be like when we have the next IAC - it will be worst than the last one!


Oooh - you've got a point there ILS!

DYJHIW you still haven't got used to the time change.
I'm going to bed at half past midnight and getting up an hour later than usual in the morning.
Good job the kids aren't at school.

DYJHIW you're posting on here when you should be on your way to work

DYJHIW...there is a funny smell around your computer and try as you might you just cant' locate it.

Could be all the wine I sloshed about over the weekend tho....will have to move and give a good scrub later.....poooooweeeeeeee.

DYJHIW - You lose 5lbs and then easter comes along and you promptly put it all back on again! :cry:

I have no will power! :cry:

DYJHIW- you are getting more and more confused by the minute :wacko: :blink: (What happens after death thread)

DYJHIW - Brighton lose :cry:

DYJHIW - Preston draw because Gillingham scored in the last minute!!

DYJHI when your team gets beat and your biggest rival plays tomorrow and are only two points behind :wallbash:

DYJHI when your team gets beat and your biggest rival plays tomorrow and are only two points behind :wallbash:

Don't really watch bowl's waylander.

Don't really watch bowl's waylander.

tee hee Catherine. Ever get the feeling we're the only ones here?

Hellooooooooooooooo

Don't really watch bowl's waylander.
Bowls!.....BOWLS!!!!!!...... I'll give you bowls! (maybe your goats can drink out of them) I follow a mans game not some old crinklies rolling stones down a carpet. Celtic is the name football is the game although I've got a soft spot for Greenock Morton.

I follow a mans game....

Now, don't get me wrong, I like football, but A MAN'S GAME. Rugby's a man's game, footballs for boys and girls, and girly boys in the case of Graham Le Saux. :bag:
(allegedly)

Bowls!.....BOWLS!!!!!!...... I'll give you bowls! (maybe your goats can drink out of them) I follow a mans game not some old crinklies rolling stones down a carpet. Celtic is the name football is the game although I've got a soft spot for Greenock Morton.

I know what you are doing :naughty:

Graham Le Saux is a girly boy but rugby is just an excuse for men to feel each other up

Spoken like a true girly boy football fan (no offence to weaveworld).

Spoken like a true girly boy football fan (no offence to weaveworld).
Weaveworld can speak for herself but she is also a footie fan

tee hee Catherine. Ever get the feeling we're the only ones here?

Hellooooooooooooooo


Hellooooooooooooooooooooooo Patsy :wink2:

DYJHIW one of your party guests slopes off to post elsewhere :angry:

DYJHIW you're unpacking the shopping and step on a loaf of bread, completely squashing it.

DYJHIW you're unpacking the shopping and step on a loaf of bread, completely squashing it.

*snigger*...

*snigger*...

Must admit I sniggered too - it's for my hsuband and he hates it when the bread gets squashed.

DJYHIW .... you wash the kitchen floor so vigoursly on your hands and knees that you jam your little pinkie under the dishwaster and rip the nail and the skin, only to turn round to find that the hole in your bucket has well and truly leaked all the flash mix all over the dining room carpet (I've got a kitchen diner so lino gives way to carpet half way) and then to cap it all you strip over the broom (Tom and Jerry style) and go flying across the kitchen and badly bruise your foot.

..... the moral I have learned here is NEVER EVER CLEAN THE KITCHEN FLOOR!!!

you strip over the broom



Why did you strip over the broom Dol, does it make it a little bit kinky? :laugh:

Why did you strip over the broom Dol, does it make it a little bit kinky? :laugh:
:laugh: well done ils, didnt' notice that. Serves her right for being such an exhibitionist!

Why did you strip over the broom Dol, does it make it a little bit kinky? :laugh:

my broom is NOT kinky ... it is ramrod straight and very very sexy! http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/1/1_4_70.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYAXGB)

DYJHIW the kids have been constantly bickering all day, and you can't take them out cause its been raining all day :wacko:

Andrea, do you have a shed? :pimp:

Andrea, do you have a shed? :pimp:

Ooh nice one Floops.

"Boys, Boys, come on, follow me, I've got a surprise for you" :devil:

:laugh: :laugh: I was about to suggest locking them in a cupboard :ohmy:

DYJHIW - it was really busy at work and you are now shattered :sleepy:

You have today's copy of Heat burning a hole in your handbag, and pesky people keep coming into your office, so you havent had a chance to sneak a peak.


Grrrr

You have today's copy of Heat burning a hole in your handbag, and pesky people keep coming into your office, so you havent had a chance to sneak a peak.


Grrrr

Have you tried Star magazine ? I used to read Heat all the time, but a year ago i read Star, and i havent touched another gossip mag since. I love it :)

I haven't actually. Is it as sarcastic and mean as Heat?

I haven't actually. Is it as sarcastic and mean as Heat?
Oh yes :ninja:

Have you tried Star magazine ? I used to read Heat all the time, but a year ago i read Star, and i havent touched another gossip mag since. I love it :)
Ooh, I love Star and it's little sister New, and so much cheaper than Heat too. :wink2:

O/T DYJHIW the techies still haven't fixed up your shiny new work PC yet and you are having to use the manky old one in the corner. :(

Ooh, I love Star and it's little sister New, and so much cheaper than Heat too. :wink2:


You see, i dont like New magazine. I found it a bit boring. I read it within 2 seconds !!! But Star is great. It slags the stars off. This morning copy was about Jen & Brad, and stars who are too skinny etc

Erm this morning's Heat is about stars who are too skinny, and Brad and Angelina spending two days in a hotel suite :photo:

Erm this morning's Heat is about stars who are too skinny, and Brad and Angelina spending two days in a hotel suite :photo:

But i bet MY magazine is still a lot better than YOUR magazine :bag:

you don't want to know about Brad and Angelina then?

you don't want to know about Brad and Angelina then?

EVERYONE knows about Angelina and Brad. It was all a publicity stunt - and they werent really shacking up together :glare:

Anyway, what do you know - you're magazine is still languishing in the bottom of your bag *raises eyes to the heavens*

WEll maybe I'll need a trip to the toilet some time soon :bag:

DYJHIW - your youngest son has had his mobile phone stolen :sad:

DYJHIW - your youngest son has had his mobile phone stolen :sad:


Aw ILS - it makes you really mad doesn't it? My grandson came home and said he had his stolen too but on further probing it appears that he really lost it. His theory was "I haven't got it so it must have been stolen" lol.

DYJHIW you stretch forward to reach your shoe and your computer chair (on castors) suddenly shoots backwards away from you and you land with a thump on your bum on the floor :( It's times like that when I'm glad I have a bit of "padding".

Aw ILS - it makes you really mad doesn't it? My grandson came home and said he had his stolen too but on further probing it appears that he really lost it. His theory was "I haven't got it so it must have been stolen" lol.



He's mate had his new football stolen too, so I think in this case he really did have it stolen.... oh well lost or stolen, he will need another one :sad:


DYJHIW - Brighton are losing 1-0 and are down to 10 men :ranting:

DYJHIW - Brighton are losing 1-0 and are down to 10 men :ranting:


Losing 3 - 0 now :cry:

You get home late starving hungry and all you can find to each is a past its sell by date ready meal. :mad:

I ate it anyway. :blush:

You get home late starving hungry and all you can find to each is a past its sell by date ready meal. :mad:

I ate it anyway. :blush:

oh dear! fingers crossed we see you tomorrow! if not we will think the worst!

DYJHIW you run a cold bath :-(

When you arent feeling too well :mellow:

Unfortunately its all self induced. I went to the pub last night, and had a fabby time. Normally we only stay for a short while - but we were there till closing time. Mr.B was playing chess with a fellow drinker, so i stayed at the bar with the owner .... who kept pouring me brandies :blush:

I got home staggering, went straight to bed - and woke up this morning looking and feeling like hell :ninja: Im desperately trying to work, but i havent got the enthusiasm.

DYJHIW you stretch forward to reach your shoe and your computer chair (on castors) suddenly shoots backwards away from you and you land with a thump on your bum on the floor :( It's times like that when I'm glad I have a bit of "padding".

:D

DYJHIW You're chopping your car in JUST AFTER you've renewed your car tax. I know you can reclaim it, but it's the hassle...............

I know what a pain

But if you could just hand them in and get the money

Thieves would be breaking car windows just to nick the disk

I know what a pain

But if you could just hand them in and get the money

Thieves would be breaking car windows just to nick the disk


DYJHIW You're chopping your car in JUST AFTER you've renewed your car tax. I know you can reclaim it, but it's the hassle...............

Yaaaaaaaaaay, done it Cockers, thanks you're a star.

Yaaaaaaaaaay, done it Cockers, thanks you're a tart.


:huh: :shocking:

.

I think you'll find I said star. Green eyes, floops? Or just a particularly talented and virile husband?

I think you'll find I said star. Green eyes, floops? Or just a particularly talented and virile husband?

see somebody likes me

none of the above :ninja:

see somebody likes me

Sort out me smileys and I'll show you my attachments! (No batteries required)

Sort out me smileys and I'll show you my attachments! (No batteries required)

This feature is called "IM Short Cuts" and it allows you to instantly add any of our Messenger Smileys found in the Smiley Central "Communicate" category without opening the Smiley Central window.

Just open a new IM window and in the text box type "//" (without the quotes) followed by the IM abbreviation.

For example, typing "//LOL" would automatically insert http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/23/im/lol.gif in your IM. Try it!

NOTE: With MSN messenger, you must type in your short cut in lower case, such as //lol

What's an IM window? :blush:

this

or when you are in a chat room but dont worry

try it in a post and when it says post this to a bla bla bla say no and it should be ok from then on

does she not have to install smiley central first?

It doesn't give me the option to say "no". It just gives me spaces for

from......

to.........

Message...............

If I single click the smiley I want it comes up with those boxes, if I double click it takes me to the smiley central main page. Would it make any difference if I'm on tiscali?

It doesn't give me the option to say "no". It just gives me spaces for

from......

to.........

Message...............

If I single click the smiley I want it comes up with those boxes, if I double click it takes me to the smiley central main page. Would it make any difference if I'm on tiscali?



Make sure that smiley central is closed

Ok start a new post

Type something

Leave the curser flashing in the window

Now click on the icon

When it comes up

Select the smiley you want by clicking on it and it should be inserted in to the post
close the smiley window and summit the post

let me know if this works

That's what I am doing, but when I click on a smiley, any smiley, it says "couldn't add a smiley? To learn why click here.

Then "Good news! You can send this smiley to a friend using the form below."

(then gives boxes for e-mail addresses and message). If I click on the click here it says "sorry, Smiley Central cannot add smileys on this page.

Be sure that you are:

1) On a "compose message" webmail screen
2) Using the rich media version of your Webmail account
3) Using webmail that is compatible with Smiley Central.

Outlook Express Users - you are likely on a Read Mail page. You must be on a new mail page to add smileys.

IncrediMail Users - you must be using IE 5.5 or above.

I don't know what else to do and I REALLY want those smileys.

Using webmail that is compatible with Smiley Central.

are you using MSN as your broweser

wait i will PM you

DYJHIW your kettle blows up!http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage28/19.gif

That would seriously p... me off. I fee for you Dabs.

Thanks Pats. I just had to nuke a jug of water to make the tea while Mrs Dab shouted at the fuse box. Things seem to be getting back into line now but it was a hairy moment. We've deployed Miss Dab II to town to find a new non-exploding kettle.

DYJHIW your kettle blows up!http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage28/19.gif

Must be the week for exploding kettles! I'm back to the plastic one I bought 2 kettles ago which I only banned to the cupboard because it Peeeees water everywhere when you pour out of it :(

Thanks Pats. I just had to nuke a jug of water to make the tea while Mrs Dab shouted at the fuse box. Things seem to be getting back into line now but it was a hairy moment. We've deployed Miss Dab II to town to find a new non-exploding kettle.

DYJLIW your kids are old enough to be sent on such errands. My time will be here, soon enough. :devil:

DYJHIW.....


you mistakenly use the Cat Food spoon to eat your ice cream with! :sick: She didn't look too happy either!

DYJHIW.....


you mistakenly use the Cat Food spoon to eat your ice cream with! :sick: She didn't look too happy either!

http://pages.prodigy.net/indianahawkeye/newpage36/18.gif

DYJHIW...you change the fridge/freezer doors round only to find you have missed two bits out and you have to take them off again and whilst doing so the clock on the wall next to the fridge gets knocked off and hits you in the back.

DYJHIW.....


you mistakenly use the Cat Food spoon to eat your ice cream with! :sick: She didn't look too happy either!
I love you Dolores....................you make me look soooooooooo intelligent :w00t:

DYJHIW...you change the fridge/freezer doors round only to find you have missed two bits out and you have to take them off again and whilst doing so the clock on the wall next to the fridge gets knocked off and hits you in the back.

that happens to me aaaaaaaaalll the time.

DYJHIW - miss ils has now gone back to Cardiff and you won't see her until at least the middle of June :cry:

I'm dreading that time, ils. Cheer up chicken. :hug:

We'll cheer her up at the party later. Patsy did you want to organise some 'royal' entertainment?

I'll give it a go. I'll ring my agent.

DYJHIW you've got a white head just inside your nose so it looks like a snotty bogie.

You have to pop it Max. I know it will make your eyes water and hurt like hell, but it's worth it. Do it!

DYJHIW.... someone (mentioning no names but has a fondness for goats) starts a thread on grammer etc; and it takes you twice as long to type a reply because everything you've been taught at school goes out your head and you need to think how to structure a sentence without making a mistake. :laugh:

DYJHW

There months ago you see a news item that says that a meteor will pass very close to the earth

Two weeks later NASA announces that it is starting a space programme to see if it can alter the trajectory of a meteor

You put two and two together and arrive at the theory that the meteor is going to hit us and they want to keep it quiet so as not to start a panic



And then three mouths later NASA tells the world you where right



I hate being right

And then three mouths later NASA tells the world you where right[/color]



I hate being right


mouths?.........

DYJHIW you go out for a nice meal and one woman in the group spoils it by complaining.
Now not that complaining is wrong, but it was the way she did it. She basically antagonised all the staff, and it's really just a good job we had already eaten as I dread to think what the staff could have done to the meals.

I'm all for complaining if you're not satisfied, but there are ways of going about it. My husband gets really embarrassed if I complain, even though he agrees with what I'm complaining about. He would rather put up with it and moan about it later, when it's too late! What good is that?

I totally agree with you Patsy, as you say though, it was the way she complained. As the poor waitress was trying to explain and apologise, this woman was blaring out really loud "I can report you to enviormental health, and get you closed down"

Actually maybe time for a thread :idea:

You're back at work! :cry:

DYJHIW HR officially offer you a new job - Hurrah! - but then you realise that they plan to keep you on your existing salary, but increase the number of hours in your working week and reduce your annual leave allocation by one day. :angry: But never fear, I am on the case and won't let this slip through unnoticed.

DYJHIW HR officially offer you a new job - Hurrah! - but then you realise that they plan to keep you on your existing salary, but increase the number of hours in your working week and reduce your annual leave allocation by one day. :angry: But never fear, I am on the case and won't let this slip through unnoticed.

Horray for the workers! You go for it! :thumbsup:

DYJHIW HR officially offer you a new job - Hurrah! - but then you realise that they plan to keep you on your existing salary, but increase the number of hours in your working week and reduce your annual leave allocation by one day. :angry: But never fear, I am on the case and won't let this slip through unnoticed.

They can't do the latter two unless you agree! And starting the new position is agreement, so be careful!

DYJHIW you have a real chocolate craving, but there is absolutely no chocolate in the house :sad:

DYJHIW - the inspectors turn up 3 hours early for the inspection and you are in the middle of tidying up!

What inspectors, ils?

My housing association inspectors, Patsy - their appointment was 3.40pm

DYJHIW - the inspectors turn up 3 hours early for the inspection and you are in the middle of tidying up!

You mean you're house is a temple to tidiness? :blink:

Still better early than not at all....now that really is annoying! :angry:

My housing association inspectors, Patsy - their appointment was 3.40pm

How inefficient.

DYJHIW...

Some sad low-life nicks two rather old, tatty, seen far better days concrete cat ornaments from your front garden!
They had been there, ruminating quite happily on the weather, plants and changes of season for about 12 years, never moving, never complaining, just content to be amidst the greenery.

M

Ruddy drunks I'll betcha Marmy! :angry:

DYJHIW - It arrives from a flank station and you really do not like it! :mad2: The worst person in work will be here all day! :mad2: :mad2:

DYJHIW you have a real chocolate craving, but there is absolutely no chocolate in the house :sad:


DYJHIW you haven't had chocolate all week and you get a choccy craving so you "treat" yourself to 2 fingers of Kit-Kat but you don't get all the damn silver foil off and it gets on your fillings and sends electric shock through your head. I bluddy hate those thin foil wrappers.

DYJHIW you haven't had chocolate all week and you get a choccy craving so you "treat" yourself to 2 fingers of Kit-Kat but you don't get all the damn silver foil off and it gets on your fillings and sends electric shock through your head. I bluddy hate those thin foil wrappers.

Ooo I hate that! :ranting:

DJYHIW.....


you've got to take you son's hamster to the vet cos it's got "wet tail" and things are looking bleak :cry:


on a practical note I'm also worried about the cost of the visit......

DJYHIW.....


you've got to take you son's hamster to the vet cos it's got "wet tail" and things are looking bleak :cry:


on a practical note I'm also worried about the cost of the visit......


Last hamster I had put down cost me £10! :cry:

You're all heart, you, aren't you?

:laugh:

You're all heart, you, aren't you?

:laugh:

What?

Hey.... his name was Buster...I cried my eyes out when I got home...Shambles the cat had to come and comfort me..... :cry:

It cost much the same to put Tubsy the cat to sleep....now that was one of the worst days of my life (Shambles wandered off and died at the ripe old age of 17.....very sad as we never found him to give him a proper burial) Tubsy had a fit one day which he never came out of so we had to have him put down (he was 18 and much more my cat that Shambles....he was more my brother and mums)...I was devastated and had to bury him in the garden then sit an exam at work....I only just passed by 6%.....! :cry:

DYJHIW - you leave your PJ bottoms behind in the hotel!

If Cat hears you had PJ's bottom in a hotel, there will be such trouble...:laugh:

If Cat hears you had PJ's bottom in a hotel, there will be such trouble...:laugh:


Shhhhhhhhhhh - Don't tell her :wink2:

DYJHIW - Brighton are still in the relegation zone with only 3 games left to save themselves! :cry:

DYJHIW ....

you've got a visitor coming for the weekend and you have decorated the living room but the rest of the house looks like a skank-hole. :unsure:

I need to do one room per day thoroughly but my back is throbbing from all the moving stuff about and I really just want to sit here. Oh well, better get on. No time to play today :sad: