DYJHIW - it is raining AGAIN!!! :mad:


edit to say - and you have just remembered you haven't got your car with you, so you are going to get very wet walking home from work :cry:

DYJHIW you feel like you've fallen out with someone, but can't put your finger on why.

DYJHIW the return to nursing course is the hardest thing to get on (I thought they were desperate for us to go back)


I have just had a load of bumph from the course on things I have to do before I start in October.
I still have to get a headed note paper reference from my previous employee (the one in the states which has moved no-one who I worked with is now there, I have got a way round this though, I think)

A CRB check, but that's just a form to fill in.

But I also have to go to the doctors to get blood tests done for Hep B and C titre.
I also have to get a course of immunisations for hepatitis/tetanus/polio/diptheria, check immunity for chicken pox/TB/rubella.
All before I start the course in October.
And the hepatitis B immunisation course has jabs at 1, 2 and 6 months intervals, then a blood check 8 weeks later..........but I'm supposed to start the course in October:wacko: :blink:

All I want to do is go back into nursing, a career I only left 6 years ago:wacko:
The NHS has just got dafter and dafter.

All I want to do is go back into nursing, a career I only left 6 years ago:wacko:
The NHS has just got dafter and dafter.

Try being an Art Curator instead Andrea:

Cash-strapped hospital offers £37,000 for curator of art (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1716507,00.html)

I bet the prospective candidate doesn't have to go for all the jabs I've got to either:ohmy:

DYJHIW - you have a test at 11.15am...

DYJH H HATE it when....
it's the first morn in after a glorious bank holiday monday.
sulk... :-(

DYJHIW your eyes are really, really, really itchy and sore! :(

You should post about it in 'Ailment August' Bella


DYJHIW - you forgot to put your earings in this morning and you feel naked without them :sad:

You have a really busy day ahead of you - but the thought of actually working is filling me with dread. I am sooooo not in the mood right now :sad:

DYJHIW your cats have fleas!

DYJHIW your cats have fleas!

oh those were the days! I would love to be bitten to death by fleas right now just to have my cat with me!

Actually it is absolutely wonderful to have a flea free summer! I shall not be replacing my deceased cat until Autumn for this very reason!

DYJHIW someone sets fire to a car near your house, but it's far enough away for the firemen to be obscured by trees. :sad:

Your vet's bill for the cat is at £400.00, and you have 6/8 weeks at £18.11 a day to go.:sad:

[FONT=Fixedsys]your child's hyper little friend spends the whole day and then the night...i may be more psycho than usual by the a.m. msgirl :sad:

DYJHIW someone sets fire to a car near your house, but it's far enough away for the firemen to be obscured by trees. :sad:
Oh Patsy. Round here we are not shy, we just get right out there and have a good look..... :w00t: :w00t: although in saying that the fireman are ususally 103years old or bloody women!!

Your vet's bill for the cat is at £400.00, and you have 6/8 weeks at £18.11 a day to go.:sad:
Blimey - what was wrong with her / him ?

You only have 4 boxes :bag: :w00t:

You only have 4 boxes :bag: :w00t:

Some of us don't even have that:sad:

I had three once - what happened - can they go down as well as up?

Why don't you both give each other one? :pimp:

Why don't you both give each other one? :pimp:

Wey hey - im game :w00t:

Et voilá! Look what a bit of mutual gratification can do. Anything else I can help you with?

I'll collect my 10% later Bons. :wink2:

Et voilá! Look what a bit of mutual gratification can do. Anything else I can help you with?
[/COLOR]

I think you should be the Chairperson for the Bonnie fan club .... im sure i might get a couple of members - maybe :ninja:

Would you want that kind of member?

Wey hey - im game :w00t:

I already gave Bonnie one:whistling

I already gave Bonnie one:whistling

And very nice it was too *blows a kiss in general direction* :w00t:

P.s. - did you feel me giving you one too :bag:

And very nice it was too *blows a kiss in general direction* :w00t:

P.s. - did you feel me giving you one too :bag:

Yup - but my boxes are still the same!!

Yup - but my boxes are still the same!!

You need quite a few to take you to the next level. Just put your begging hat on like me :bag:

Don't you just hate it when: Whenever your house is untidy everybody seems to call, but when you have spent all day cleaning it you never see anyone !!!!!!! GRRRRRRR

Blimey - what was wrong with her / him ?

I ran over his foot with the car Bonnie:sad:
He lost all the tissue off his paw and there is just bone there now.
We have to take him every day to have it dressed until hopefully he grows a new paw.
Infection is our enemy right now.

DYJHIW you have a hangover and anything you say is tactless. As a result you have probably already offended one person today.

On days like these, I wish I had an alarm which screamed STEP AWAY FROM KEYBOARD whenever I attempt to type.........

DYJHIW you have a hangover and anything you say is tactless. As a result you have probably already offended one person today.

On days like these, I wish I had an alarm which screamed STEP AWAY FROM KEYBOARD whenever I attempt to type.........

good going girl! it was only 8.26 when you typed that!

good going girl! it was only 8.26 when you typed that!

I know. I'm horrid...

I ran over his foot with the car Bonnie:sad:
He lost all the tissue off his paw and there is just bone there now.
We have to take him every day to have it dressed until hopefully he grows a new paw.
Infection is our enemy right now.

Oh god Secrets - im sorry to hear that :sad:

Poor little love. Although its easily done and it could of been a lot worse. I know someone whose dog jumped out the car window as he was reversing out the driveway, and he ran over the dog and killed him. Thank god it was only his paw.

It'll mend, dont worry too much - antibiotics are wonderful things. Im thinking of you and the pooch.

.......... you pre-book tickets to see Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, pick your kids up, go for a nice lunch at the Harvester (my choice, love an early bird Harvester), then get to the cinema only to be told there is a "technical problem" and they are not showing any films at all. I got a full refund, of course, but then had to do some shopping to justify the extra amount of time I had been afforded today.

As you can imagine, the boys weren't impressed.

don't you just hate it when: (this happened to me yesterday) , we had just finished our new conservatory, we were so excited ,put in a new cream suite, and a bloody bird came through the front door and flew in there and sh-it all over it,the smell was horrible, the bird kept flying into the glass trying to get out, if i had caught that bird i would have had it stuffed !!!!!!!!!!!! :gunsmilie

DYJHIW your monitor keeps flickering and you don't know why :mad2:

DYJHIW its a lovely sunny day and I have to go with my sister to Bordon to sort out my aunties things. She died on monday after a long spell in hospital and as she has no children some of the cousins are meeting up there today to organize her funeral. She was 89 so a good innings now just gotta give her a good send off.

Her executers were two of my uncles (her brothers) one died last year and the other is 91. Surely it is better to choose younger people although I suppose it ain't gonna worry her is it.

Good luck Maz. It's a horrible job. Hope it goes well.

dyjhiw- you want a cuppa but you ran out of tea bags.!!!!!

... it's a beautiful day and all you can do is sit on the sofa surrounded by tissues and cold remedy :cry:

Maz, hope it wasn't too upsetting for you and Critique hope you feel better soon. You know a bit of fresh air might do you the world of good! :hug:

DYJHIW....


you start getting paranoid.... (must snap out of it, I'm really not that important ... people aren't talking about me all the time ... are they??!)

DYJHIW....


you start getting paranoid.... (must snap out of it, I'm really not that important ... people aren't talking about me all the time ... are they??!)


Take my word for it Dol, it's not you they are talking about! ;)

Take my word for it Dol, it's not you they are talking about! ;)

omg! are you just playing along with me ... or do you know something!

<<Dolores starts to panic and look for her medication!!>>

omg! are you just playing along with me ... or do you know something!

<<Dolores starts to panic and look for her medication!!>>


I know everything Dol, but if I told you I would have to kill you! They don't call me the Silent Assasin for nothing you know! :ninja:

I wouldn't panic though Dol, you are not the target..................

I wouldn't panic though Dol, you are not the target..................

so there IS a target! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!! (psst is it Maxine?!)

so there IS a target! I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!! (psst is it Maxine?!)

According to some very recently leaked TOP SECRET documents, Maxine is at the moment safe.............I cannot divulge anymore of this TOP SECRET information at the moment, but keep watching........especially your back! :ninja:

I cannot divulge anymore of this TOP SECRET information at the moment, but keep watching........especially your back! :ninja:


but you said it wasn't about me! I KNEW IT WAS! Of course it is ... who is more intriguing or more interesting than me!


...I'm going for a lie down now ... I think my last dose of medication is wearing off now ... I need a new fix .... come to me my sweet, sweet white pill .....

I'm really not that important ... people aren't talking about me all the time ... are they??!)


Yes :w00t:

Crit - I hope you feel better soon :hug:

Maz - I hope your day went ok :hug:

DYJHIW the kids have gone away for 4 days.

Mine have just come back from a week away Max. I must say that as I was working every day, I didn't really have time to miss them. The older and more argumentative they get, the easier the absence.

Leaving them is still difficult for me and it was lovely to pick them up again. :wub:

DYJHIW - you have spent the 2nd afternoon asleep as you are feeling under the weather!

DHJHIW - Every man, woman and dog are out tonight spotting the rather cool meteor shower that is whizzing over head and dialling 999 to say they have seen a distress flare! :sad: I hate that ruddy 999 alarm!

Ooh is it the meteor shower tonight, right I'm off to go and have a look outside and if I see anything strange I shall be on the Coastie hotline to warn you :w00t:

DYJHIW - you have a toothache :cry:

Hope it gets better soon ILS.


When you're on a diet :sad:

DYJHWI this week is the last week for long lies!!! :ohmy:

DYJHWI this week is the last week for long lies!!! :ohmy:

Pardon :unsure:

Pardon :unsure:


Our school's go back next week, Bonny! No more lounging around!

Our school's go back next week, Bonny! No more lounging around!

Arhhhhhh, now im with you. I thought you meant 'no more lying' as in telling porky pies :ninja:

DYJHIW you're just falling asleep and suddenly remember something stupid you've done at work so you spend a tossy turny night and now you're going to have to pop in on your day off.

Everyone is "Private messaging" and none of 'em are PMing me.....

Everyone is "Private messaging" and none of 'em are PMing me.....
Same here ..... shall we sulk :p

Same here ..... shall we sulk :p

Oh....I already am. Believe me...... :sad:

You've got some arsey builders downstairs who are really bugging me. They want to have access to the whole building when we go home, and they cant as we have confidential info (its an insurance firm) in the building.

They are peed off, my boss isnt around and isnt answering his phone and im lumbered !!!

Just let them in Bons. If they're builders they probably can't read anyway. :w00t:

You're shattered and want to sleep, but for some reason, you just can't

DYJHIW - you have another week before your dentist sorts out a niggley toothache :cry:

Just let them in Bons. If they're builders they probably can't read anyway. :w00t:
You know what .... i did. Any they complained as the fuse box was in the part that was sealed off. I said "sorry, you knew the company was open 9-5pm and that you only had full access to the rest of the building in those hours" and he said "well if i get electrocuted, it will be your fault"

****er :boxing:

Basically their first job should of been to install a new inner door, so they have full access to the areas they need without encroaching on our space - but they havent. They have done other jobs first. They should time manage a little better if you ask me.

......when you are trying to get through to a Fringe venue to re-check the dates and it is constantly engaged!!! :angry: I don't want to go trail the centre of town to find out the show isn't on!

The forum seems a tad slow .... is anyone else experiencing this ?

The forum seems a tad slow .... is anyone else experiencing this ?

Yes, it has been slow for me for the last few days Bonnie, I put it down to NTL...

Yes, it has been slow for me for the last few days Bonnie, I put it down to NTL...

Yeah its been a couple of days for me too .... strange :blink:

Same here - I thought it was because I've been using my desktop, but maybe not...

You see how large your credit card bill is online .... and die a thousand deaths :blink:

It 2:15pm and you still haven't had a shower.....

DYJHIW - both your boys are suffering from heavy colds....

...when you just know you should not have had a Bailey's on top of wine! I am feeling crap today! :shutup:

....when you've just washed and dried your hair, and the hairdryer has made the bedroom much too hot to sleep in now. Like it wasn't muggy enough tonight already.....

I knew I should have dried my hair in the bathroom. I was too lazy to wait for the mirror to demist. :sad:

when your friend who you haven't seen for ages and who you were supposed to be meeting for lunch, phones to say she can't as she has just fallen down the stair at the gym and has sprained her back and hurt her ankle! :(

Mr.B texts you and announces that one of his pupils has a driving test during our camping holiday - so i will be all alone in the middle of a field with no entertainment for a whole blummin day :glare:

This is my fav thread .... god im a moaning minnie :w00t:

DYJHIW the builders are in at work, and they are making it almost impossible to go about your everyday business. I cant walk through the office door without having to leap frog over a hairy arsed builder !!!!

I wish they would pack up and bog off !!

This is my fav thread .... god im a moaning minnie :w00t:

DYJHIW the builders are in at work, and they are making it almost impossible to go about your everyday business. I cant walk through the office door without having to leap frog over a hairy arsed builder !!!!

I wish they would pack up and bog off !!

Now you wouldn't be moaning if he was a hunk, now would you? So I guess he isn't a hunk :sad:

They never are in real-life, those sort of hunks only ever appear in adverts or TV shows, more's the pity!!

DYJHIW...........you finally put your beloved nappies up for auction!! :ninja:

They never are in real-life, those sort of hunks only ever appear in adverts or TV shows, more's the pity!!


i dunno I've worked on some building sites ( as a secretary not a hod carrier!) and some of the blokes would definitely have given Russell Crowe and Mel Gibson a run for their money!

I often say about these "hunks" on calendars that you could go down any building site and pick out half a dozen fit blokes!! (or have I just got a very low starting point!!).

DYJHIW ... your neighbour is shouting out your name in a panic so you run out the back in your shorts and vest top (not a good look for me!!) and three firemen in full regalia run past you as you and the neighbour are staring at a fire in a back garden. (she made me look like I'm nosey!!!!).


... and then one of the fireman turns out to be someone you know from work and he winks at you and says "alright Chris" ..... :fireman: I would mind but as i mentioned above vest top and shorts is not a good look on me!!!! :blush:

DYJHIW ... your neighbour is shouting out your name in a panic so you run out the back in your shorts and vest top (not a good look for me!!) and three firemen in full regalia run past you as you and the neighbour are staring at a fire in a back garden. (she made me look like I'm nosey!!!!).


... and then one of the fireman turns out to be someone you know from work and he winks at you and says "alright Chris" ..... :fireman: I would mind but as i mentioned above vest top and shorts is not a good look on me!!!! :blush:

Oooh, I don't know Dol, a wink from a fireman would go down in the DYJLIW post for me!

one of the fireman turns out to be someone you know from work and he winks at you and says "alright Chris" ..... :fireman: I would mind but as i mentioned above vest top and shorts is not a good look on me!!!! :blush:

Well, it sounds like he thought it was to me :naughty:

DYJHIW - You receive on average 6 - you have won xxxx pounds in a prize draw sends us a £10-15 to claim your prize envelopes - from some place in Kansas and another in London a week! :mad:

Two of the American companies who think I am going to send them money for nothing actually have the same PO address! :excl:

DYJHIW you have to pretend everything is ok to someone.

DYJHIW you are back at school after the summer holiday!

DYJHIW - NTL is down in your area again :wacko:

The day is dragging beyond belief and Mr.B is down the pub :sad: Im not really jealous :bag:

DYJHIW....

you have a nipple sized coffee stain on your white tee-shirt and it is just exactly over your nipple! :ohmy: this happened to me today at 9.30 ... it's been a long day!!

DYJHIW....

you have a nipple sized coffee stain on your white tee-shirt and it is just exactly over your nipple! :ohmy: this happened to me today at 9.30 ... it's been a long day!!

Ohhhh Dol - I have done that SO many times - its fatal for me to wear light colours!!!! Im such a messy mare!!!

I remember one of my old bosses taking me out for dinner years ago (to get in my knickers, and yes, it worked, I was such a tart!!!) and I was wearing a beautiful white embroidered blouse which ended up with a blummin great dollop of curry on it at chest level....I was mortified....until the vodka kicked in :w00t:

DYJHIW - NTL is down in your area again :wacko:

'scuse me for being fick, but how did you manage to post that? :D

DYJHIW - you can never please all of the people all of the time.

'scuse me for being fick, but how did you manage to post that? :D



Because I posted it from work :w00t:

DYJHIW....

you have a nipple sized coffee stain on your white tee-shirt and it is just exactly over your nipple! :ohmy: this happened to me today at 9.30 ... it's been a long day!!

Thats what happens when you get old and ya boobs sag into the coffee cup! :w00t:

DYJHIW - you hit your head on a cupboard corner as you get up from picking something up you have dropped on the floor :blink:

DYJHIW... you laugh at ILS's DYJHIW!!!! :kid:

(sorry that comment should have been in the "what made you laugh today thread"!!!!)

DYJHIW....
you have to get out your wet weather cycling gear in the middle of August!!!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/28/28_2_4v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYAXGB)

DYJHIW - the knife slips and now you have a nasty cut on your finger :cry:

DYJHIW you realise that you are spending far too much time on here.

:ranting:DYJHIW you spend all Saturday waiting for someone to come and fix a new part in your washing machine - and they don't turn up. Nor do they phone to say why - and it's three weeks since you first phoned - and when you phone today they won't be able to come until next Friday:ranting:

To make it worse they refuse to guarantee any time that they come and expect you to take a day of work (which neither of us can do):ranting:

Take my advice and don't waste your money on an extended guarantee from Currys!!!!

DYJHIW you've been in as lousey mood all weekend, and now its nearly Monday :sad:

God - what a waste of a weekend.

DYJHIW you've been in as lousey mood all weekend, and now its nearly Monday :sad:

God - what a waste of a weekend.

Have you cheered up yet ??? I was in a weird mood yesterday and couldnt snap out of it. It continued a bit this morning, hence why i shouted at the dog :blush: I feel ok now though :blink:

DYJHIW - He got away! :sad:

Awwww, Coastie! You'll just have to phone up and tell them that you hear a ticking noise from under the stair and that you think it is a bomb!! :shocking:

Hmmmm what about if it were a ticking noise beneath my chair :naughty:

DYJHIW... they leave you in the office with no supervision leaving you all the time in the world to come on here!


I'm only 42 how can they possibly trust an irresponsible youngster like me on their own!

...when you remember at 19.45 that you've got a puncture on your bike to mend and you're pi$$ed! oh well maybe I'll look down the back of the sofa for bus fare money!

when you go downstairs after washing your hair to find the dog has peed all over the lounge carpet :sick:

Hubby is glued to the football, and the internet is playing up due to the weather so having trouble playing on here :ranting:

DYJHIW... you know someone is ignoring you, but when you confront them they deny it! :ninja:

NTL is on the blink. My telly keeps jumping to some bollywood channel I'm not subscribed to :ohmy:

NTL is on the blink. My telly keeps jumping to some bollywood channel I'm not subscribed to :ohmy:

That's what happens when you don't pay your bill :ninja: my ntl is fine :w00t:

DYJHIW...someone leaves a pen on your desk with the slogan
www. dontdodrunk. com on it! are they trying to tell me something?! it's rather a nice pen actually!

DYJHIW - you get soaked getting your washing in when the heavens open.

Thanks for that ILS. :thumbsup: It alerted me to check out the window and it had just started raining so I was therefore able to save mine. :laugh:

DYJHIW...... it's time to pack again!

:ranting:DYJHIW you spend all Saturday waiting for someone to come and fix a new part in your washing machine - and they don't turn up. Nor do they phone to say why - and it's three weeks since you first phoned - and when you phone today they won't be able to come until next Friday:ranting:

To make it worse they refuse to guarantee any time that they come and expect you to take a day of work (which neither of us can do):ranting:

Take my advice and don't waste your money on an extended guarantee from Currys!!!!

The sequel!

DYJHIW they finally arrive to fix your washing machine - only to discover that they have only ordered one of the two parts that they need!!

Keep calm, Rob and keep breathing! Send them the bill for the laundrette!

DYJHIW you wake up to a lovely sunny day.
Take the kids to the local kiddies outdoor play area and for a while have a great time.
But then, as per normal this summer, the dark clouds come in and you get caught in rain yet again.
Pah, can't do anything at all this summer without getting wet :angry:

DYJHI when people at work start saying brightly... "oooh only three more pay days till Christmas !!!!"

I could box their ears..:angry:

DYJHI when people at work start saying brightly... "oooh only three more pay days till Christmas !!!!"

I could box their ears..:angry:


Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat :shocking:

DYJHI when people at work start saying brightly... "oooh only three more pay days till Christmas !!!!"

I could box their ears..:angry:

here is one of my ears Pandora!!! Box away my love!

http://www.alleycatscratch.com/lotr/makingem/Makeup/Ears/HobEar2_8577_TornLon.jpg

Any elves in your family Dol, that ears a bit pointy at the top.

Any elves in your family Dol, that ears a bit pointy at the top.


sssh! it's not actually my ear ... I ripped it off a pixie in the back garden earlier this morning. There was bloodshed and screaming ... it wasn't pleasant!

DYJHIW - When you are in charge on what is likely to be a very busy day and your already depleted team is reduced still further as one staff member has to go home sick! We are no below minimum staffing! :shocking:

The sequel!

DYJHIW they finally arrive to fix your washing machine - only to discover that they have only ordered one of the two parts that they need!!

Rent one Rob...best thing I ever did. They have to come out within 24hours to fix or replace and you can upgrade every 18 months if you wish.

We rent our dishwasher too now - same deal.

DYJHIW - Your dad moves in (as he's between houses at the mo) and you arrive home after a few glasses of wine down the pub to find him wandering around the house in his pants and slippers..... :shocking:

Rent one Rob...best thing I ever did. They have to come out within 24hours to fix or replace and you can upgrade every 18 months if you wish.

We rent our dishwasher too now - same deal.

What a marvellous idea. Didn't know you could do this. How much does it cost, if you don't mind my asking. PM me perhaps.

DYJHIW - Your dad moves in (as he's between houses at the mo) and you arrive home after a few glasses of wine down the pub to find him wandering around the house in his pants and slippers..... :shocking:

must be getting crowded round there Coastie, new lodger, old dad and those rodents!

Well the new lodger isn't in yet but he is phoning me back tonight to confirm a few details! :wacko:

I've gone from just me in the house to three in a house and a couple of Rats...Sid and Milo said to send their love by the way! :wub:

...the aged rellies can't decide what to do...:sad:

....when you phone to book your college course but find that it is fully-booked!! It's all my own fault, I should have phoned 2 weeks ago! Arrrrgghhh, I am so annoyed at myself! :cry:

...the aged rellies can't decide what to do...:sad:


Come on, what did you do in the end..bury them?

DYJHIW you try to get into the wrong car and then wonder why your key doesn't open it:blush:

Well it does look exactly like mine.

Come to think of it I may have posred a picture of somebody else's car in the Diary thread!:bag:

DYJHIW you try to get into the wrong car and then wonder why your key doesn't open it:blush:




lol! Rob! Been there done that ... actually got in the car and sat down before I realised I didn't have a blanket on my seat!

It was in the old days before synchronised locking and such like an a very very old Morris Minor!

You cant open the office door :ninja: We have had workmen in here, and the side door - which i need to go through to collect our post, is totally jammed shut :mellow: It is freshly painted, so it could of stuck together, but i cant collect the post or milk or do anything really !!!

Arsssssssssssss Arssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss boring...boring man! Get off the ruddy phone...boring boring man!! :wallbash:

Arsssssssssssss Arssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss boring...boring man! Get off the ruddy phone...boring boring man!! :wallbash:

Hmmmmmm, men in white coats required for Coastie :ninja:

No shot-gun required for boring man on other end of phone! :wallbash:

DYJHIW -= You have four ulcers on the back left of your tongue and you can't enjoy a chocolate biscuit because they hurt to ruddy much! :sad:

Oh dear Coastie! You are not having a good day are you? :(

It's getting better......only because I have to spend less time here with every passing minute.... :mellow:

To cap it all there are four programs I want to watch at 9pm tonight and nothing at any other time! :wallbash: I have two videos but only one working TV so I shall try and tape the second least important of the three on that one, tape the second best one and watch the best....TV is so cruel sometimes! :sad:

DYJHIW you are supposed to be studying for some professional exams, but nothing makes sense and its all too frustrating.

So you come on here and waste time instead.....

You realise your state disorganisation is getting out of control :wallbash:

DYJHIW -= You have four ulcers on the back left of your tongue and you can't enjoy a chocolate biscuit because they hurt to ruddy much! :sad:

i dont seem to suffer from that so I will have a chocolate biscuit for you. what are friends for, eh? :devil:

ooh i hate that!
there is nothing as painful as 'ulsters' and not being able to have chokkie bikkies.
put tons of bonjella on it...yum..tasty.

i dont seem to suffer from that so I will have a chocolate biscuit for you. what are friends for, eh? :devil:

Moo Bag! :p

Aon..yes I plan to use half a tube of bongela before I go to bed tonight...life is so full of fantastic oportunities! :mellow:

KH...stop reading this and study girl! :smartie:

Moo Bag! :p


I know that should a similar situation occur in my life, that you would do the same for me Coastie!! Happy Bonjella Day!

Didn't PJ say that Bonjela was bad for you (or am I imagining that??)

I prefer Anbesol liquid as it seemsto be a better numb-er, but maybe it's bad for you as well :unsure:

well..it will just have to be a dash of whiskey then...
that's good for 'things' too....
hee..hee..hic!

I know that should a similar situation occur in my life, that you would do the same for me Coastie!! Happy Bonjella Day!

I'd eat the whole packet! :laugh:

Fee...I think it's because it has alot of sugar in it of all things but I use it once in a pink moon and so I think I'll survive...just...well maybe....hmmmm...what was that Aon was saying about whiskey....? I have some Southern Comfort do you think that'll work just as good?? :mellow:

You know that you have to take the dog for a walk this evening .... and the thought of it fills you with dread as its sooooooo BLUMMIN HOT :mellow:

DYJHIW - Even after a few months you still find it hard to talk to the new boss because you become more than a little tongue tied......:wub: :blush:

You lick an envelope, and the sharp edge slits your lips open :mellow:

You lick an envelope, and the sharp edge slits your lips open :mellow:

OOoooooo yes hate that...really hate that! :ranting:

DYJHIW - you begin the day, getting up at 5.15 because you have so much to do, and you procrastinate and start posting on SOL and its now 5.55 and I have to run around the place now. As Scooby says, CHEERIO!

DYJHIW - There's no one else to talk to! :cry:

The fire alarms at work have been set off .... again by the dozy builders downstairs. And the man with the key took his car into the garage for a service near his home (about 30 miles away) and left the blummin override key in the car :ranting:

We have taken the fronts off the alarms so the ringing isnt happening, but they are still making a HUGE amount of noise !!!!!

Im going slightly barmy, and cant wait till lunch when i can vacate the building :blush:

They are still going off :wallbash: Its been an hour now :ranting:

They are still going off :wallbash: Its been an hour now :ranting:

I dont think I could stand that
I feel for Bonny

They are still going off :wallbash: Its been an hour now :ranting:


. Songs for Bonsai



How about



London’s burning



The bells are ringing for my girl and me



Jingle bells

Lol - have you got time on your hands Cockney :ninja:

My fav is 'The bells are ringing for my girl and me'

DYJHIW - There's no one else to talk to! :cry:

You can always talk to me via the medium of andy blah blah full of sh!te:w00t:
That will always be around.

.........your husband takes your car to meet his friends to play golf and you have promised to take the girls to the beach, and he isn't back yet!!!! :mad:

went out for something to eat last night, but only chose a starter as I wasnt too hungry and trying to avoid anything too rich. Lamb koftas with chilli sauce and yoghurt and water. Spent all of last night vomiting, in spasm, until every last morsel was removed from my system. There is an unfairness in all of this, for what I put into my body, and what I expelled really dont add up. At least I might have lost a few pounds!!

Sorry to hear about that Tonee, hope you are ok now.

DYJHIW your boss comes into the office - one day earlier than you were expecting him :huh: I was hoping for an easy day today !!

dyjhiw you're feeling AwFUL but you can't give out or expect sympathy 'cos it's your own fault for having TOO much fun yesterday........:cry:

DYJHIW you are really tired - and it's not seven o'clock yet!

DYJHIW the 'free' holiday you have won is a. not free & b. Timeshare...............yes I know I should have known but I was just so made up to have won something

DYJHIW - you son loses his PE bag with all his PE kit in it, on his 1st day back at school :cry:

DYJHIW - you son loses his PE bag with all his PE kit in it, on his 1st day back at school :cry:


I think I'd have to kill him for that one. :laugh: If it's anything like my daughter's PE kit, it's worth about £200! :ohmy:

I think I'd have to kill him for that one. :laugh: If it's anything like my daughter's PE kit, it's worth about £200! :ohmy:

I thought about it Tiggs, but instead I am going to make him pay for the replacements from his paper round money, that will hurt him more :devil:

You're getting pressured into going to our Head Offices Xmas dinner !!!

The dinner is in November (very christmassy) and its black tie / posh frock - 3 course dinner etc ...

BUT - its a long drive away, Mr.B wouldnt go with me, i dont have anything to wear and i cant afford to buy anything, and as i told my boss "why would i want to sit in a room with a load of stiffs in suits discussing their last investment they sold".

My boss looks dissapointed now, and tried to persuade me to go - but i would rather walk over hot coals to be honest.

I will gladly go to our office one - but NOT the head office one.

You cant get your hands on any contact lenses :glare:

I currently use a VERY expensive place near where i live, and its the only opticians here. So i decided to buy some online as i have recently had an eye check so i know my current prescription is perfect.

So i go to Tescos - and i order 3 months worth at a cost of £56. This amount would normally cost me £90 at my normal opticians. But i got an email from Tescos this morning saying they had been in touch with my Optician who wouldnt give them any information, so as such they cant supply me !!!!!! :ohmy: Im gob smacked.

Anyway - ive found another company online who didnt ask for Opticians details - and they are £62 so a bit dearer than Tescos but still cheaper than my normal Opticians.

How dare they not give any info out when its been requested - just because they dont want to loose the business !!

You forget to pluck your eyebrows .... and you know you look like wild bushy snow monster :unsure:

Blimey - im always in this thread :unsure:

DYJHIW the diary co-ordinator doesnt turn up !!! She works Tues and Thurs afternoons, and has only worked one day so far which was last Tues. On the Thurs she didnt turn up as he daughter had had her teeth out and was bleeding, and today she hasnt arrived at all :blink: The boss is about to call her and find out where she is !!

Blimey - im always in this thread :unsure:

DYJHIW the diary co-ordinator doesnt turn up !!! She works Tues and Thurs afternoons, and has only worked one day so far which was last Tues. On the Thurs she didnt turn up as he daughter had had her teeth out and was bleeding, and today she hasnt arrived at all :blink: The boss is about to call her and find out where she is !!

She has quit .... and didnt bother to tell anyone :blink:

She has quit .... and didnt bother to tell anyone :blink:

Sounds about right Bonnie :ranting:


DYJHIW - whilst you are out you go to the petrol station and they are out of unleaded :ranting:

DYJHIW there's a great big fly whizzing around the room and you can't get it:ranting:

DYJHIW you still have loads of marking to do:sad:

The internet connection was down for a whole afternoon today .... i was going out of my mind !!!!

Thats why im on here now, to see if i missed out on any gossip :naughty:

DYJHIW - it is confirmed that the striker of your son's footie team has broken his ankle in 2 places and is out for the rest of the season.

DYJHIW......you have to go upstairs to clean the bedrooms and there is no pooter upstairs and you are having such a good time here... :pooh:

.............when you just know you should have stopped at 2 glasses of wine last night! :sad:

.............when you just know you should have stopped at 2 glasses of wine last night! :sad:

WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY BELLA?

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Please, please.........

I am so glad the wee one is at nursery today!

DYJHIW you have to stuff your face with mint tic-tacs before dropping her off at 8.30 this morning in the hope that the nursery teachers can't smell your breath! :shutup:

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Please, please.........

I am so glad the wee one is at nursery today!

DYJHIW you have to stuff your face with mint tic-tacs before dropping her off at 8.30 this morning in the hope that the nursery teachers can't smell your breath! :shutup:

But did you remember to shower....it would look worse for you if the teacher could smell the booze seeping through your pores... :naughty:

But did you remember to shower....it would look worse for you if the teacher could smell the booze seeping through your pores... :naughty:


Arghh........ I knew there was something I needed to do before I left the house!

Do you think they noticed that I was still in last night's clothes? :ninja:

Arghh........ I knew there was something I needed to do before I left the house!

Do you think they noticed that I was still in last night's clothes? :ninja:

I think they were just thankful you bothered to get dressed....oh and the dark glasses were also a bit of a giveaway...next time I suggest you get a sweet old granny to take the wee one to nursery...any one that passes by your door at the right time of day will do! :thumbsup:

DYJHIW - You innocently pop into the 'I see your and raise you..' thread only to be terrified half to death... :cry:

ooh..what happened?
off I go for a snoop!
:-O

ooh..what happened?
off I go for a snoop!
:-O

It's not nice Aon..... :cry:

DJYHIW .... you spend the last half hour doing your online tesco shop and just as you are about to submit your order it all your hard work disappears in front of you! I can't be ar$ed to do it all again! I think I will just order lots of whiskey!!!!

I think I will just order lots of whiskey!!!!

You would be better off ordering whisky instead of the American stuff http://www.cheesebuerger.de/images/midi/froehlich/a013.gif

DYJHIW you have a really bad sore throat/chesty cough and you just know your coming down with the bug that is doing the rounds at the moment.:sad:

Get some of Dol's whisky and make yourself a hot toddy Andrea! Hope it clears up soon! :)

Get some of Dol's whisky and make yourself a hot toddy Andrea! Hope it clears up soon! :)
OOOhhh smashing idea. I think i will join you Andrea - even though i havent got a cold :w00t:

Hot toddy's all round then, but unfortunately I hate whisky.
Bonnie you can have mine.

Bonnie you can have mine.

You've got yourself a deal :thumbsup:

When you are in a can't be bothered mood! I don't know why but I am really fed up today!

When Mr.B texts you to say one of his mates from the pub is on his way over to our house to do something or other on the computer.

I wouldnt mind, but the house is a state, the litter tray stinks (should of cleaned it out this morning), the dinner plates from last night havnt be washed, there are skid marks in the toilet, and 1/2 a cat worth in fur on the carpet.

Apart from that my house is spotless.

I have a feeling he might take one look and run away :ohmy:

The above post offended some people as i got bad rep for it :laugh:

OOOOOpppps :devil:

DYJHIW - You don't read the TV guide properly and didn't realise that there are two episodes of X-Factor on tonight.... :wallbash: I didn't set the video so I will miss the first of the two...can't see the repeat tomorrow because of work! :cry:

DYJHIW - You don't read the TV guide properly and didn't realise that there are two episodes of X-Factor on tonight.... :wallbash: I didn't set the video so I will miss the first of the two...can't see the repeat tomorrow because of work! :cry:
Can't you set the video for the repeat tomorrow?

No...I can't tape off freeview...I think my video is to old...it doesn't have an AV channel...although you can go upto ch44? :mellow:

You're in a REALLY bad mood, but your not sure why :unsure:

I wish i would snap out of it though. I feel like Kevin the stroppy teenager.

Go and scoff some chocolate Bonny, it contains happiness!

DYJHIW you husband starts his work in Southampton and you are only going to see him at weekends.....................should this be in the DYJLIW thread.... :w00t:

Oooh, how spooky just as I was typing this Mr B phoned!!

I really hate it when i have to try not to laugh in front of my customers when they come in and ask for fat ball-s!!!!!!! one man came in and said to me "my wife is looking for fat ball-s for her ti-ts !!!!! :w00t:

I have to ask bridge but was are fat ball/s and what do they do to your tit/s?

I have to ask bridge but was are fat ball/s and what do they do to your tit/s?


Haaaaaaaaa :laugh: Oh Bella Behave !! o.k. fat ball-s are made for the wild birds and her ti-ts are probaly the blue ti-ts in her garden, or maybe she is a bit kinky?

Uh...okay.........think I'll just slink away quietly now! Of course I knew you were talking birds of the feathered variety! :shutup:

Here's me thinking you owned some kind of S-ex Shop, Bridge! :w00t:

DYJHIW... you have a sore throat and can't sleep and wont you just hate it even more when in the morning you are absolutely shattered and deep deep down in your heart of hearts know you are not ill enough to call in sick ....

oh woe is me ... such a martyr!

DYJHIW .... you were going to add something to a thread and you go and forget what you were going to say and what thread you were going to put it in ... :huh:


... is this just me or are there any other old forgetful fools out there?!

... is this just me or are there any other old forgetful fools out there?!

You're not alone Dol - I keep forgetting things - and I seem to have a mental block over the names of some of the kids in my class - I keep getting them muddled up.

Now - what else was I going to say .......................???

DYJHIW... people ask you if you're OK just cos you're a bit quiet.


I had this woman at work yesterday asking me if I was alright LAST Tuesday cos i seemed a bit quiet and had she done anything to upset me! I was flabbergasted firstly I can't remember what I had for tea LAST night, let alone the mood I was in a week ago and secondly why does she think my mood has got something to do with her!

i have to say she is a nice person and I like her and now I'm wondering if I was a stroppy cow last week (she only comes in the office once a week). I hate stroppiness, it is on a level with bossiness.

DYJHIW - you wake up at 3.25am and you can't get back to sleep, so now you are really tired :cry:

I hate stroppiness, it is on a level with bossiness.

I dont like it either - but i must admit that i get stroppy occasionally and flounce around. I did this morning when the photocopier broke ... again :devil:

DYJHIW - Your quiet evening in last night was disrupted as you had to go and act as a buffer between your parents as a simple discussion over an estimate became a little heated....mainly because dads stressed out (he's off to Honk Kong & China for a month tomorrow....he's never travelled further than Spain before and well he only has a flight ticket....I await the call from the consulate :unsure: )...anyway...five minutes of me putting my foot down and a bit of guidence on the old computer situation solved...Mum packed off home and Dad sent to his room! Talk about role reversals! :laugh: ...Mum was sooo in the right but I had to be diplomatic...not my strongest point!

I dont like it either - but i must admit that i get stroppy occasionally and flounce around. I did this morning when the photocopier broke ... again :devil:

I'm not saying I don't get stroppy!! I do, but I HATE myself when I do!!! oh some times I'm stroppiness personified!!

I'm not saying I don't get stroppy!! I do, but I HATE myself when I do!!! oh some times I'm stroppiness personified!!

I'm sorry but I don't believe this! I will always think of you as a smilie never moody flighty young woman with a positive glow of optimism......who is capable of killing people with a single glare if required but is never stroppy!

I'm sorry but I don't believe this! I will always think of you as a smilie never moody flighty young woman with a positive glow of optimism

errr oh yeh that too!!! :angel: :angel_not

DYJHIW .....


you tape over the top of Gone With The Wind ... I actually felt physical pain when I realised what I'd done! :cry:

Was it wind? :ninja:


:blush: cheap, I know........ someone would have said it.

When there is a fly buzzing around your desk at work. It will die :devil:

DYJHIW .....


you tape over the top of Gone With The Wind ... I actually felt physical pain when I realised what I'd done! :cry:

Ooo same thing happened to me when I accidentally taped over 'Biloxi Blues'...I know it's not as famous as GWTW but I love that movie! :cry:

Ooo same thing happened to me when I accidentally taped over 'Biloxi Blues'.

So do I - and I got the DVD of it for a fiver - no danger of taping over that!

So do I - and I got the DVD of it for a fiver - no danger of taping over that!

I just love Christopher Walkens twisted performance as the drill sergeant and wait for the moment he flicks the side of his head and and goes 'clunk' as he talks about the plate in his skull! Class!

DYJHIW - the new pay review is more than just a little dissapointing its ruddy rediculous.....the agency recently spent a vast sum of government money on reviewing the job that myself and my colleagues do...it was found that we are actually being paid a grade below where we should be on the civil service pay band....instead of saying 'oh we had best pay them what they are worth' the powers that be said instead that they didn't agree with the findings and so would offer us a crud pay deal instead think we will just accept it anyway! :mad: :mad2: I mean if they were going to ignore the findings why pay out oodles of money to have the grade review done in the first place!

DYJHIW..........
The doctor wasn't convinced that I needed a sick note for work. Pah! :boxing:
I had to take my clothes off for nothing

I had to take my clothes off for nothing

I don't know...any excuse eh Bob! :glare:

You are sat, waiting for the boss to come off the phone !!!!

I have a massive job to finish before i can go home. I recon there must be at least 2hrs work left to do, and so i will definately be late. I need my boss to stand next to me feeding me certain answers, and yet he has been on the phone for about 1/2 hr :ranting:

I feel a little narked :mellow:

When you wake up you have a stiff neck, the shower's cold and you scrape your heal on the door getting out. Grrrr. The day can only get better.

DYJHIW - your team is bottom of the table :cry:

DYJHIW you are looking forward to an episode of the Afterlife on ITV and atmospheric pressure makes watching any channel impossible? :angry: Still, I thrashed Mr P at Trivial Pursuit :w00t:

DYJHIW you are looking forward to an episode of the Afterlife on ITV and atmospheric pressure makes watching any channel impossible? :angry: Still, I thrashed Mr P at Trivial Pursuit :w00t:
OOOOhhhh I love, love, love Trivial Pursuit and no one will play w/ me b/c I always win!! pout-pout!

I love Trivial too .... but my parents only have the 1986 (or something like that) edition - and we tend to play with them. So most of the questions are for things that happened before i was born !!

DYJHIW your bored as the boss is on holiday. I cant wait for this week to be over :unsure:

dyjhiw you make an appointment to get your hair done to look all nice and girly and groomed for the visitors at the weekend and your hairdresser takes early maternity leave from today and cancels your appointment.... :cry:

Wonder if Urk is any good with a plastic bag and a crochet needle? :wacko:

Nip to the garden with one of your pudding bowls. That's what Buzz does.

Nip to the garden with one of your pudding bowls. That's what Buzz does.
Quite right....and the colander and a bottle of domestos if I fancy highlights!

I of course meant Garden Centre, before any pseudo-pedants pipe up! Buzz knew what I meant, didn't you poppet?

I of course meant Garden Centre, before any pseudo-pedants pipe up! Buzz knew what I meant, didn't you poppet?
I have no idea what you are talking about! :blink:

DYJHIW - you get a phone call from your youngest son's school to go and pick him up! As he has been sick :sick:

Oh dear, poor Master Ils. Hope he feels better soon. Half Term next week so I will have Tom and his entourage trouping in and out of the house all week probably :sad: My visitors were going to come next week - put them off til the week after cos I don't think I could cope (or them cos they haven't got grandkids) :)

Thanks Crit, he is fine now, even wants to go back to school (playing footie for them after school )

DYJHIW - the engineer who is suppose to be fixing your boiler is still here nearly 4 hours after he arrived and has no idea how much longer it is going to take to fix it (I was told it was a 30 minute job) :ranting:

DYJHIW - You type a cracking little entry into the SOMBA Tale and the ruddy site times out on you and you lose the lot! :ranting: Can't be bummed to do it again...the moment has past! :closedeye

DYJHIW - You try and put some dates in the calendeer and it all goes horribly wrong... :blush:

Your boss is a complete ****er who thinks its ok to bully people. He makes me want to hit him on a daily basis.

He is itching to rent out the top floor of our offices for £200 pm, which to him is nothing. He is a rich man. To get more money they want to offer a car park space. Basically our car park is long and narrow. On one side 3 of us park our cars, on the other side the 2 bosses park theirs. There is room for one more car on their side of the car park - but they would never let anyone park there as it is THEIR SIDE.

So anyway, because my car is an estate, they think its my fault that a 4th car cant park on our side. Which is rubbish. I could drive a mini and one still wouldnt fit. So the cheeky b*stard has just told me to see my car and get something smaller !!! How dare he, he cant tell me what to do when it comes to my personal possessions :ranting: