I see you're all smiles today.

Go on then - large gin please. Want a fag?

I see you're all smiles today.

Go on then - large gin please. Want a fag?

You silly thing, you know I don't smoke anymore.....here's your gin...have some nuts too...my treat. :wink_kiss

Hey you cheeky devil, you know I don't 'nut' any more!

(looks across bar)

Hi! Dab! You're looking lovely this afternoon! Blue suits you.


Cat - I was moved by that poignant moment of yours. Revisiting old shagging territory?

ooo, which one, let me go and have a look............

Just got back from the wedding - nice do but a bit chilly.

Just got to pay off my escort, then I'll have a pint please Cat!

Hi! Dab! You're looking lovely this afternoon! Blue suits you.

Hi SF! Thanks mate, I've dyed and braided in honour of the occasion. It's not every day of the week we get to time-travel with the Doctor. You coming along?

ILS, big hugs! :hug:

Cheer dab, let me get you a drink, what would you like? Anyone else for a beer?

Cat another beer for me and whatever anyone else wants!

I'll get these in Ils - Cat, my shout!

And can you put my hat behind the bar for safe keeping?

Thanks ILS. I'd like a large Black Russian please. :)

Hey you cheeky devil, you know I don't 'nut' any more!

(looks across bar)

Hi! Dab! You're looking lovely this afternoon! Blue suits you.


Cat - I was moved by that poignant moment of yours. Revisiting old shagging territory?

I'm sorry everyone I think I upset Swerve last night...my fault...I will sort it out.

HA HA HA, you are right SF.....some of the alley ways and laybys did bring back some fond memories.

Another Gin and a cigarette maybe, served by the pregnant woman behind the bar?

Hi SF! Thanks mate, I've dyed and braided in honour of the occasion. It's not every day of the week we get to time-travel with the Doctor. You coming along?

Yeah, you bet. But after I've had this gin I have to pop round to Somerfields to pick up a tub of chicken livers and some Vanish oxy-action carpet cleaner. Will you wait?

Yeah, you bet. But after I've had this gin I have to pop round to Somerfields to pick up a tub of chicken livers and some Vanish oxy-action carpet cleaner. Will you wait?

Sure thing. You have just under an hour anyway. If you miss us I'll get the Doc to nip back and pick you up.

Thanks ILS. I'd like a large Black Russian please. :)

Oooh, I'd like to try one of those, but I'll have a drink first. :w00t:

Bud please, Fee.

HA HA HA, you are right SF.....some of the alley ways and laybys did bring back some fond memories.

Another Gin and a cigarette maybe, served by the pregnant woman behind the bar?

HA HA HA!

No more gin thanks, too much isn't good for me. I'll have a fag though.

Why is that pregnant woman smoking?

Because she is fortunate enough to live in a glorious democracy - hoorah!

.

Why is that pregnant woman smoking?

Because she had unprotected sex.

Because she had unprotected sex.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Evening all............bloody glad I aint going out tonight I can tell you...can I have a large large large beer please and whatever everyone else is drinking...I'll have that too......yeee haaaa

Oh right. I say this gin's putting me in a good mood. Cat- d'you want to hear a cat joke?

Two dogs and a cat try to get into the opening night of a posh opera. "Sorry, only musicians or composers allowed in" says the woman at the door. "Thats's alright" says the first dog - "Me Bach, him Offenbach and she's Debussy"

..
..
..

what d'you think?

Evening all............bloody glad I aint going out tonight I can tell you...can I have a large large large beer please and whatever everyone else is drinking...I'll have that too......yeee haaaa

Buzz..on me mate...its all go in here tonight!

Oh right. I say this gin's putting me in a good mood. Cat- d'you want to hear a cat joke?

Two dogs and a cat try to get into the opening night of a posh opera. "Sorry, only musicians or composers allowed in" says the woman at the door. "Thats's alright" says the first dog - "Me Bach, him Offenbach and she's Debussy"

..
..
..

what d'you think?

..erm.........cigarette?

Why have we got pictures of the Grand National winners up??


oops silly me it's Curmilla

Why have we got pictures of the Grand National winners up??


oops silly me it's Curmilla


BUZZ! We like Camilla today...I for one think she looked a dish today. And I was glued.

BUZZ! We like Camilla today...I for one think she looked a dish today. And I was glued.
Humble apologies...........specially if your are serving the beer.
Didn;t watch the wedding meself...was busy.......watching paint dry.......but I am sure she did the stables - sorry - Parker Bowles proud.....

Why have we got pictures of the Grand National winners up??


oops silly me it's Curmilla

:laugh:

Dab I'm coming too!

:laugh:

Dab I'm coming too!

I'm sorry do we need this sort of information on the board???

I'm sorry do we need this sort of information on the board???


I meant I was going time travelling with the Doctor, shame on you buzz!

I'm sorry do we need this sort of information on the board???

Well, I always like to be kept in the picture...

:laugh:

Dab I'm coming too!

Where and when are we going tonight, ILS?

:laugh:

Dab I'm coming too!


Group hugs....thats where it takes you.

Group hugs....thats where it takes you.

I'm in then :w00t: where shall I position myself??

Is it only me, or can anyone else see a resemblance between Camilla and Shelley from Corrie? It's the smile, I think. Especially today, because she'd obviously had the works done and was looking quite lovely, I thought.

I'm in then :w00t: where shall I position myself??

OK..right you stand there...then dab...then me...then swerve....then Patsy...then Ceri...then ils...then Fee.

I have kept it boy (or appears to be)/girl (or appears to be) as best as I can.


Anyone else want to join in?

Quick, Dab, move your head a minute, I think Norwich just scored against Man U.

Who's hand is that on my buttock......would you remove it please.....

What, your buttock? Would you like me to bite it off?

What, your buttock? Would you like me to bite it off?
NO your hand Patsy please....I don;t know how many timees I have asked you NOT to feel me up in public.....

liar........

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v653/buzz38/rss.jpg

I hope you don't mind but these girlies have just turned up, they have been watching the wedding and wanted a beer....Can I leave them with you I am going for a bath.....Patsy has made me feel dirty with all her groping

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v653/buzz38/rss.jpg

I hope you don't mind but these girlies have just turned up, they have been watching the wedding and wanted a beer....Can I leave them with you I am going for a bath.....Patsy has made me feel dirty with all her groping


I'll look after them Buzz...here ladies more beer....if you hang about you will see pure quality in here later. The totty I have served at this bar is second to non tonight.

The entertainment has arrived, Cat, should I show them into the broom cupboard dressing rooms?

The entertainment has arrived, Cat, should I show them into the broom cupboard dressing rooms?

ooh yes Patsy..down this way, I have made the room ready.

If you let me know if they need any refreshments or lighting requirements I am here to hand.

No, it's ok they're sorted, thanks. In fact, they're ready if you wouldn't mind showing the royal couple to their seats.

Your Royal Highnesses, my Lords, Ladies and gentlemen. Pray take your seats for the first part of tonight's entertainment.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/chasandcam.jpg
"Hello" (waving)

Thank you. In honour of this auspicious occasion, we have organised something for the ladies, which I know is a particular favourite of the Duchess http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/camilla.jpg "Oh Goody"
and something later, much much later for the gents.

Firstly, we have a brief talent show in honour of the late, great Elvis Presley. I would ask you to vote for your favourite by pressing the relevant button on the pad under your seats and the winner will be announced at the end of the evening.

So, without further ado, may I present..........................

THE ELVIS IMPERSONATORS!!!!!!!!!!

Our first contestant tonight is someone who is a legend in his own home town of Combe Martin in sunny North Devon. Please give him a warm welcome.

It's the one, the only, simply known as...............

"Chinese Elvis"

HURAHH! Patsy...I'm on the edge of my seat.

How you fluckin doing

How you fluckin doing

..and now I have fallen off cos they have gone so numb from the waiting

Do we have to go to China to see him, or is he coming here?

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/chineseelvis.jpg

"Ruv me tender, ruv me true
Or my dreams furfir
For my dahring I ruv you
An I orways wiw

Ruv me tender.............
And I oorrrrrrrr waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays wwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiw

Fankyou vewwy muh

Thank you, Chinese Elvis, I think you'll agree a tough act to follow. But, follow it he will.

He's been doing the club circuit of Dungeness since 1978, give him a warm welcome, the hip-swinging, mike twirling, lip curling talents of ....................

Mr Dave Burkinshaw

Wonderfull Patsy...Wonderfull



(F uck me..what have I done?)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/elvis2.gif

Well it's a one for the money
Two for the show
Three to get ready, now go Cat go (points to Cat, who giggles girlishly)
..........................
You can do anything, but lay off of my blue suede shoes.

Uh huh huh.

Thankyou very much.

(F uck me..what have I done?)

I was just thinking the same thing :ninja:

No, thank you Dave. I think you'll agree, ladies and gentlemen, we've got a real competition on our hands here. But don't make up your minds yet. Not until you've seen our third and final contestant. Or should I say "contestantS".

With this act, you get two for the price of one. They're new to the circuit folks and are due to make their debut at the Llandewi Brefi British Legion in June this year.

Make them feel welcome, ladies and gentlemen.......................

The Johnny Thompson Twins............

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/elvis3.jpg

Well since my baby left me
(I found a new place to dwell)
It's down at the end of Lonely Street
(It's Hearbreak Hotel)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/camilla.jpg

You'll feel so lonely baby
(You'll feel so lonely)
......................

Thankyou very much (ditto)

Well that's the last contestant folks, make sure you pick your favourite and get voting.

The winner will receive a contract for summer season at Butlins in Minehead.

There's more to come, this time for the gents, so don't go away!

ooh actually quite like them Pats. (just for a quicky mind)

I think they will get my vote.

and a big

WELL DONE YOU!!!

You will be totally unapreciated, nobody knows how much effort it is to put entertainment on (but can everyone else appreciate how slick I am now).

I thought you were great.

x

Well don't forget, there is entertainment for the chaps later on. I'll put the word around the threads :ninja:

Any chance of more of that Chinese Elvis - it's been about an hour - I'm ready for another now.

We want the adult entertainment now

WHY ARE WE WAITING!

Why are we waiting
why are we waiting
why are we way-ay-ay-ting
why are we waiting...?

Get you t*ts out for the lads

She's not even in the friggin building...where is she...has she done a run with the takings? Dab check the till.

I saw her getting into a car with those Thompson brothers....

Money's all there (along with a load of metal washers). Ring her up and demand her presence now!

Well that is just typical of her! :wallbash:

Shall we all go to chat and make her come and grovel?

The car's still there!!

It's looking a bit low at the back though.

No it's not

Yes it is

No it's not

Yes...

The car's still there!!

It's looking a bit low at the back though.

No it's not

Yes it is

No it's not

Yes...

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I'm going to ring her

She was watching....A TV PROGRAMME!!! but is coming to do it now..



shall we all take our places..Fee you got the wine and nibbles...dab..can you dim the lights.

C'mon Patsy, I can see you there. Never mind viewing the thread - get the entertainment on!

sorry about that folks, a bit of a technical problem with costumes, anyway......................

HURAHH...everyone take there places....

Let the entertainment begin....


....drumms please...

Your Highness, my lords ladies and gentlemen, particularly the gentlemen.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/princecharles.jpg

Lovely hat, sir. As promised, we have something special for you this evening – ladies, you might wish to retire to the snug (winks at men).

We have a young lady from Leytonstone here tonight, with two very obvious talents. She is a fashion student in Milton Keynes by day, but puts her talents to a very different use by night.

Here she is with a performance she calls “I like dressing in my boyfriend’s things”, the lovely, the gorgeous the well fit

Kirsty “Mine’s a Double” King……..

“Helloooooooo boys, I’m Kirsty. I hear this is someone’s wedding night. Who’s the lucky boy? (Prince Charles kicks chair over in haste)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/princecharles2.jpg

Ooh, come over here and talk to little Kirsty. I’m easily shocked and very innocent. If I see anything naughty, please cover my eyes.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/orientlass3.jpg

No, no I said my EUES, you naughty prince. Nice manicure by the way.

If you do that again, I might get a bit............

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/orientlass6.jpg

............cross!

Now, just put your hand there fore me would you, that's a good prince. Now, don't let go, will you?

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/orientlass4.jpg

Oh you dropped it you naughty boy. Did you do that on purpose? I’m going to have to go now, my boyfriend will be wondering where his scarf is. Thank you for keeping me warm. (leaves the stage).

Well there you go, gents, I said you wouldn’t be disappointed and, sir, I can see you weren’t.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/princecharles1.jpg

Thank you all for coming this evening (not literally, your highness).

And Goodnight.

Well done Patsy and you lovely young lady and scarf!!!

Can we all stand up and applause the entertianment tonight please.

HURAHH!!!

I have a small but useful commemorative gift for Patsy...

Oh, Feefee, thank you, I'm touched. It was nothing, really............. :blush:

Thank you for all your hard work, Patsy. It brought a lump to my, er... throat. Thank you Kirsty.

Thanks Dab, I fell asleep during the film anyway!!!!

Oh, Feefee, thank you, I'm touched. It was nothing, really............. :blush:

No probs Patsy - now get behind the bar - there's glasses needing drying - we're running out here.

Don't I get a piggin drink first? :mad2:

'Ere - have a swig of this...

......there's no glasses you lazy minx...

Er, it's warm. Did anyone bother looking in the glass washer - duh :wallbash:

Oi, who nicked me flag I had 'anging out the bedroom winda? Fee - where'd you get that souvenir from?

N'er mind, there's plenty more where they came from. That's the trouble, I've got two hundred left. Anyone wanna buy a flag with the wrong date on? They make excellent bedspreads.

*runs and hides in chat*

Good afternoon...dinner's on all under control...Mr Cat has just gone to pick up MIL, brother is already here....so I am having a hostess with the mostest beer.

Anyone else?

You've just spurred me on, Cat, to put the chicken in the oven.
I was just thinking how I couldn't be bothered to do a full roast today, being slightly hung over. But seeing you've got yours started I thought, what the hell, it'll probably do me good to eat a full roast.

But one question, roast potatoes.
I usually par boil then put in the oven with lard. But I haven't any lard, can I use oil instead?

You've just spurred me on, Cat, to put the chicken in the oven.
I was just thinking how I couldn't be bothered to do a full roast today, being slightly hung over. But seeing you've got yours started I thought, what the hell, it'll probably do me good to eat a full roast.

But one question, roast potatoes.
I usually par boil then put in the oven with lard. But I haven't any lard, can I use oil instead?

yes, try olive oil with a sprig of rosemary ..... here endeth my cookery lesson - now do you think you could pour me a glass of vino before you pop the tatties in the oven!

yes, try olive oil with a sprig of rosemary ..... here endeth my cookery lesson - now do you think you could pour me a glass of vino before you pop the tatties in the oven!

Ooh thankyou Dol :thumbsup:

And here an extra special large glass of wine for you my dear :wine:

Ooh thankyou Dol :thumbsup:

And here an extra special large glass of wine for you my dear :wine:

tune in next week for my recipe for beans on toast with a twist of lemon - delicious, if slightly sour!

I'll have a stiff one please.

I'll have a stiff one please.


oooh err missus!

I'll have a large stiff one please!

oooh err missus!

I'll have a large stiff one please!

Just have to go one better doncha? Persionally I prefer 2 small stiffies.

Just have to go one better doncha? Persionally I prefer 2 small stiffies.

in your dreams lovey!

now make me up a cocktail I'm feeling frisky!

Actually I was trying to have a drink free day - but what the heck - I've got some beer in the fridge calling out to me - best I shut it up and neck a few bottles!

!

Actually I was trying to have a drink free day - but what the heck - I've got some beer in the fridge calling out to me - best I shut it up and neck a few bottles!

Best you do love! You deserve it after cooking up a delish roast. Wish you were here.

Best you do love! You deserve it after cooking up a delish roast. Wish you were here.

sober up - you drunken bum!

..going back to lard/oil. I always use what ever I have - usually Sunflower oil..should I be using lard? I have never used lard, never bought any infact....but now it comes back to me I can remember there was always lard in the fridge when I lived at home. Never did know why it was there.

Is lard the king of the roasties....what else do you use it for?

Yours mrs lardy **** (or not as the case may be)

Yeh, its funny Cat but I don't think I've ever bought lard unless I was feeling exceptionally creative and was actually making my own pastry! *shudders*

Hi guys, a nice cold bud for me please. I just got back from Tesco's so I think I deserve one.

My dad always used lard, but I never have, as I thought it was really bad for you, isn't it made out of beef fat, or have I got that wrong?

..ils I don't even know what the frig lard is ..so how can I even begin to comment on its contents.

Lard is crap for you...but does make very nice yorkshire puds. I do my roast potatoes in vegetable oil/sunflower oil.
Oh god someone get me a beer please....

I found this when I googled 'Lard'

Lard - Rendered and clarified hog fat. Lard is richer than many other fats, and makes suberbly tender, flaky biscuits and pastries. The drawback is that 1 tablespoon contains 116 calories, 13 grams of fat and 12 Mg of cholesterol.

I think I'll give it a miss - it sounds disgusting! :sick:

Nuff about lard now, this is not a grocery thread, tis a DRINKING thread and I for one would like a cold beer please.

Sorry am grumpy, but still feeling sh it and have decided to power through it with the aid of medicianal alcohol......

Hi folks

Just back from 7 hours at a minis rugby festival, got knocked out in the quarter finals, waiting an hour in between each game. Sun came out eventually and it turned into quite a nice day, but I'm knackered now. Could really do with a cold beer please.

Barman - beers all round please and do have one for your good self :wink2:

Sorry am grumpy, but still feeling sh it and have decided to power through it with the aid of medicianal alcohol......

Buzz, if you're feeling sick, tie a lump of lard to a piece of string, swallow it down, pull it back up again and that will sort you...:sick:

Large gin and pernod please, barperson!

Cheers ils :beer:

Buzz, if you're feeling sick, tie a lump of lard to a piece of string, swallow it down, pull it back up again and that will sort you...:sick:

Large gin and pernod please, barperson!

Wow Fee...thanks for that, I never realised you were a medical person too.....in fact I don't feel sick today so I shall keep that little trick in reserve for another day.
Do you have any solutions for swollen glands? (neck ones!!)
I rather thought a sh it load of beer might help....what do you think??

Try a nice Bailey's and Coffee...thats what I am on...guests all nicely fed, washing up done....just waiting for them to go really so I can either go to sleep or come on here.

:pimp:

Definitely lots of swallowing for swollen glands....:)

I have just opened a communal chilled white....who would like a glass?

I have just opened a communal chilled white....who would like a glass?

I've gone off white wine lately .... of course in an emergency I would drink it!

I've gone off white wine lately .... of course in an emergency I would drink it!

I can also get a red Dol, this white isn't going to last 10 minutes anyway...I think Karenh is on her way...

I can also get a red Dol, this white isn't going to last 10 minutes anyway...I think Karenh is on her way...

she's a red wine drinker - so I'll share a bottle or two with her!

...I think Karenh is on her way...

Bluddy heck Cat - you're a mind reader woman!

Unfortunately though, I'm a scarlett woman to - vin rouge only for me! White wine gives me heartburn. Oh 'cept Champers of course. That just gives me wind!

she's a red wine drinker - so I'll share a bottle or two with her!

Oh Dol me old mucker - you know me so well. :wink_kiss

Unfortunately though, I'm a scarlett woman to - vin rouge only for me! White wine gives me heartburn. Oh 'cept Champers of course. That just gives me wind!

blimey Mr K must've thought he'd hit the jackpot with a "lady" like yourself Karen!

btw - what was the "surprise" on Saturday? something you enjoyed and would like to share with us perhaps?!

btw - what was the "surprise" on Saturday? something you enjoyed and would like to share with us perhaps?!

She has posted in another thread Dol, but don't ask me where! I'll have a beer please Cat, as I am not really a wine drinker. I will drink white with a meal but otherwise I would rather have a beer or a spirit.

blimey Mr K must've thought he'd hit the jackpot with a "lady" like yourself Karen!

Oh - he knows how lucky he is! All his life he'd waitied for a woman he could have a decent farting competition with and then, like a ray of sunshine, I entered his life in a cloud of champagne fuelled flatulence.

He was immediately smitten :wub:

I like you

Cat............. Cat...............You in here Cat? Nope, no fur balls, wonder where she is tonight. Oh well, I'll help myself to a beer while I'm here.

Phew not been in here for a while! Glad to see everythings...wait a minute! Why has it all changed? Who put that dancing cage there? Is that hand cuffs and whip over there? What the hell has been going on here? Just yous wait til Coastie gets back from Egypt!

*helps himself to a pint*

Oh, hi Peej. Just leave your money on the side, I did. Of course, you weren't here for the wedding celebrations on Saturday. Entertainment was a bit risquee.

The handcuffs are dab's though I think.

Morning barpersonage...a fine cuppa in your best china matey.

*sniffs the air excitedly*

PJ's been in here hasn't he.....where did he sit....there...here....did he mention me?

Tea for me too, please barperson!


*Just say yes to the pj thing, it will make her happy for the rest of the day* :wacko:

Morning all. Large flagon of tea please. I am in for a very interestng day today I think..........don't know why, just feel it in me water!!

How is everyone this fine, cold, miserable day??

How is everyone this fine, cold, miserable day??


Tired but ok, thanks Buzz!

I look forward to hearing an update tonight! :w00t:

Buzz..its wednesday...you know what that means don't you?



















FRUIT BOY :w00t:

Be afraid Fruit Boy, be very afraid!

Be afraid Fruit Boy, be very afraid!
Nah the fruit boy is too young to be afraid. you know that age where they know everything, seen everything, and done everyone?? That's the fruit boy.
He is very sweet, but dim.....

Nah the fruit boy is too young to be afraid. you know that age where they know everything, seen everything, and done everyone?? That's the fruit boy.
He is very sweet, but dim.....

Just a bit of eye candy, then Buzz? :naughty:

Just a bit of eye candy, then Buzz? :naughty:
Weeellllll, eye candy may be taking it a bit too far really ils. NOt the best looking chappie in the world, I thinks it's his apparent lack of awareness that makes him sweet...you know the type......I am not describing him well am I :unsure:

Weeellllll, eye candy may be taking it a bit too far really ils. NOt the best looking chappie in the world, I thinks it's his apparent lack of awareness that makes him sweet...you know the type......I am not describing him well am I :unsure:

Errrrrrr no! :laugh: Oh well at least he brightens the day up! There is none of that where I work :cry:

Morning everybody

It’s nice to fantasise a buzz gets the day off to a good start


I now what you mean you would not want to marry him but you wouldn’t kick him out of bed for farting

Bottle of bud please bar personage. Anyone else???

me please! I'm off out shortly for my alcohol free evening - but I need a few liveners before I go! Watch this space to see if i come back sober!



.... a couple of little beers wont hurt before I go out will it........

Somone get a me a very large drink please

I'll get both you ladies a large drink...Dol because she's deluding herself and bob because she's a top bookshelver postererer.

Hi girls. Just a diet coke for me please. As I don't do my new old job anymore and I'm starting my new old job tomorrow, I can start doing my musical theatre again and the first gathering for this production is tonight.

Back later though, don't fret.

Can I have a quick one?

nice pun pats

Hi girls. Just a diet coke for me please. As I don't do my new old job anymore and I'm starting my new old job tomorrow, I can start doing my musical theatre again and the first gathering for this production is tonight.

Back later though, don't fret.

Oh yes, whats the production this time?

Can I have a quick one?

You most certainly can my friend.....


...there you go.

Beer?

You most certainly can my friend.....


...there you go.

Beer?

lovley thank you Cat

Guys and Dolls. Just a small production. The big one will be in January; Wizard if Oz.

Just typed Iz at first, looked v funny. :laugh:

lovley thank you Cat

You're welcome.

What's this? Care for Cockney day?

So what if it is....

yea aaaa what if a

Could I have a beer please? If we are going to the cat household on Friday I need to start practising tonight.........

How are we all this fine evening??
Cat shall I retell the Disney story or not??

illiterate losers :mad2:

leaves the bar, thirstily

I would have got her one


please, do tell Buzz

Vokda & diet coke for me please cat, I think I deserve one :D

Vokda & diet coke for me please cat, I think I deserve one :D

whys that ILS please elaborate

I have just got back from weight watchers and I have lost 3 and half pound this week :D

I have just got back from weight watchers and I have lost 3 and half pound this week :D

Did you look round for them?



Only jokein that’s fantastic well done



Not off your bosoms I hope

Only jokein that’s fantastic well done





Thank you Cockney :D



Not off your bosoms I hope

So do I :laugh:

Well done ILS! :thumbsup:

Could I have a beer please? If we are going to the cat household on Friday I need to start practising tonight.........

How are we all this fine evening??
Cat shall I retell the Disney story or not??

Oh yes.





.

Well done ils...but even more so...


WELLDONE KEMPSTON COLTS under 11's!....

We have just listened to the final minutes of the game on loud phone speaker and my eldest son has won the league play off against Icknield Rovers (near Luton)..3-1.

HURAHHHH

He was so nervous this morning.

The drinks are on me.

Well done to your son and his team Cat :funky:

Ah, tell him well done from us...................................

Well done young Master Cat The Elder!!!

Can I have a cold Guinness please, Cat?

You can all have what you want.

Bottle of Gin for Buzz, Babysham and Brandy for Ils and Me on the Rocks for dab.

There you go.

What happend i was in the toilet

What happend i was in the toilet
My eldest son's team - Under 11's Kempston Colts - has just won the league play off.

Drink my dear.

You can all have what you want.

Bottle of Gin for Buzz, Babysham and Brandy for Ils and Me on the Rocks for dab.

There you go.
I dont like gin it makes me sick.....but then most alcohol makes me sick eventually....but could I swop that for Vodka please.

O well done

do you have a riseing football star then ?
is he gonna make his mum proud but more to the point rich

Go on then i will drink to that

Go on then i will drink to that
cos you need an excuse don't you :laugh:

I dont like gin it makes me sick.....but then most alcohol makes me sick eventually....but could I swop that for Vodka please.

I don't like gin either, so I will go for a Vodka too, please!

yes I am running short


mind you i found six cans of Guinness in the cupboard which where best befor feb 2003
broke my heart to throw them away

i dont like Gin cant stand the smell

Oh, come on....bottle of vodka for you two and on the tap guiness for Cockers.

My boy is home and so proud, it was a good game apparently.

And Cockney, no I don't realistically think we have a star...he is like both me and Mr Cat..good all rounders but never excelling in any one thing.

Which I now think is the best way to be.

Bravo boys. Give him a big kiss from me, if you can catch him.


And well done ils, marvellous job!

I have just got back from weight watchers and I have lost 3 and half pound this week :D

I think I might have found them....:mad2:

Okay...I'm back.....so I guess the drinks are on me....

if

you're prepared to sit and listen to me twittering on about what a fabby time I had in Egypt...oh and did I mention the incredible bit of french totty....drool...he was yummy! :wub:

Oh, okay then. As long as you promise to tell us the whole truth if it involved any sex on the beach. :devil:

Dab.....my first victim :beer:

Now there was this bloke...very nice he was...top totty not that that would fully interest you but anway.....

I'm interested :naughty:

Good evening my friends (if I may be so bold).

I will have a thirst quenching pint of the amber stuff please Coastie...glad to see you back in charge.

Had a lovely run earlier with Bazeeel, just fed the children and now I am having a sit down before I start mine and Mr Cats evening meal.

Anyone care to join me?

:drinking:

Cat.....since you managed to eat all the cheese and not leave any stuck to the floor this time you may have two pints of the Amber Nectar on the house! :beer: :beer:

Ahoy, Coastie, nice to have you back. Got any white bits?

Could I have a flaggon of ale please to pour over Mr P. He's had a real moan at me tonight and I've had such a nice day at work and now I'm cross and everyfink...........

Patsy try one of my new cocktails.....

'The Tummy Hugger!'

It's smooth and creamy and makes you feel or snuggly inside! :)

Oh and yes I do have white bits....unfortunately you don't get much of a tan through neoprene! :laugh:

Oh and yes I do have white bits....unfortunately you don't get much of a tan through neoprene! :laugh:

What the frigs neoprene!

But thanks anyway, I'll drink the two then be carefull, don't wan't to go too mad tonight as on my run I was thinking about spread sheets and how I can set up this new financial years budgeting.

Wan't to have a clear head to set it all up tomorrow.

Patsy...throw caution to the wind and book with me for Dublin....I've just emailed Cat Senior Sister to see if she wan't to come. She is engrossed in a new forum she has found with fellow tortoise owners.

Also Patsy...good day at work?

What the frigs neoprene!

Wet Suit Rubber!

I've just emailed Cat Senior Sister to see if she wan't to come. She is engrossed in a new forum she has found with fellow tortoise owners.

I looked at that one but found it really slow!


,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Hi everyone :bye:

Vodka and diet coke for me please.... and whatever everyone else is having!

Patsy - how did your first day back at work go?

Lovely to be back thanks, ils. Lots of cuddles. :wub:

Lovely to be back thanks, ils. Lots of cuddles. :wub:

Patsy...did you see Maxine thru the window. Maybe she was playing pool in the pub across the road near by confident that she would win?

Hello lubberly laydees :bye: Busy in here tonight, isn't it?

Hi dabby, what would you like to drink?

Hi ILS, can I have a warm cuddle and coke, please?

For you dab, anything :hug:

:hug: Ah, that's better. Thanks, luv.

Hello there dabuliscous.

Wasn't my grammer thread friggin boring. Not what I was expecting at all.

You start a thread and most of the time have very little control over it...it developes a life of it's own dab, it really does.

:bored:

Hello Cattractiveness!

I know! I watched it slipping from your grasp. I suppose we just start them off and hope they can make their own way in the world. If we love them we have to let them go.

Shall we take our drinks into chat this evening, gorgeous girls?

Hello Cattractiveness!

I know! I watched it slipping from your grasp. I suppose we just start them off and hope they can make their own way in the world. If we love them we have to let them go.

Shall we take our drinks into chat this evening, gorgeous girls?

Dabulations, I am going to have to decline tonight...dinner is but 10 minutes away...and once I enter the chat room..well we all know don't we.

It is a stir fry you see.

Dabulations, I am going to have to decline tonight...dinner is but 10 minutes away...and once I enter the chat room..well we all know don't we.

It is a stir fry you see.

Enjoy your stir fry, but know that we'll be missing you. :cry:

Enjoy your stir fry, but know that we'll be missing you. :cry:

Here..take my kerchief and pass it round to smell.

Here..take my kerchief and pass it round to smell.

We won't miss you that much! :wacko:

There will be no hankerchief sniffing in this establishment.....or knicker sniffer Peej...yes I have an eye on you! :angry:

Now whose up for a nice cup of tea! :blink:

Now whose up for a nice cup of tea! :blink:

Me! I have just got back from the hairdressers and I am dying for one!

Not dyeing for one then? :laugh:

I'd love a coffee please. This new job lark is thirsty work.

Frothy Coffee and a cup of char for the lovely ladies proping up table two!

Not dyeing for one then? :laugh:



Very good Patsy! :laugh:


I'll get these!

Right that'll be 5 soms then Ils....oh and here's a free sample of Flips new bran and carrot cake! :blink:

Well, I've just finished cleaning the west wing of Fee Manor, so I'm up for a beer.

Don't do it, ils, you're doing too well!

**buries face in cake**

Right that'll be 5 soms then Ils....oh and here's a free sample of Flips new bran and carrot cake! :blink:


As I am watching my weight Patsy, you can have my free sample! Soms on the way Barperson Coastie!

:beer: for Fee....actually I think I'll join you! :beer:

Don't do it, ils, you're doing too well!

**buries face in cake**

I am being very strong Patsy :D


*but it is only week 2*

Big beer and keep em rollin bar personage.

Oooo exciting day. Confirmed afternoon off work for Dublin meet, Buzzuliscious has been on to Luton and sorted out flights...all we have to do is book them now.

I am so excited I could poop.

I am going to get splashed tonight...OH YEAH!

****final scoot round the house to check for on show valuables and things before Buzz and family arrive****

For Cat:

:beer: :beer: :beer: :beer:

Enjoy....oh and don't forget to cover the seats in plastic sheeting! :unsure:

I'll get these Coastie........

Great news Cat!!! :funky:

Gosh you're flush today Ils.....

:wine: for you madam!

I'll get these Coastie........

Great news Cat!!! :funky:


Isn't it just. :laugh:

Isn't it just. :laugh:

It's better than great is...fandabydozy!

Wooo :beer: :wine:

My line manager is as red as a tomato as he is feeling so embarassed by the current flow of conversation racking around the office...my sides are hurting...tears are rolling! :laugh:

I've just had a huge slice of chocolate gateau, so I need something healthy. A large orange juice please barperson (with a large vodka inside it).

Are you going to tell us what you've been nattering about Coastie or is it tooooo rude? :blink:

Chocky cake for Nox...and yes the conversation is a bit rude.....it was based on Nip/Tuck the other night and extra strong sucky dolls..... :blush:

Quiet in here tonight.
I'm going to help myself to a white wine.

I'm gonna put some music on, a bit of scissor sisters and I will no doubt dance around like a loony as no-one else is here.

"I'm gonna take ya mamma out all night........" :whistling

I need to start early... :beer:

We have the person I like least in the whole world of work spending the day with us today......I am typing so that my hands have something to do other than punch her and slap her silly...really do not like her! :angry:

Could I possibly have, two paracetamol, a glass of water and a cup of tea please. I have a thumping headache this morning. No idea why that should be, although I do remember sashaying around Cats kitchen with a ladel doing a remarkable impression of Elvis at one point last night. That may be it.

Anyway, water, pills and tea please :cry:

Buzz, your clothes are here......

cuppa for me too please.

Buzz, your clothes are here......

cuppa for me too please.
No wonder my nipples were like chapel hat pegs getting home last night......... :bag:

I'll be along for them later.....

Tea, tablets, coffee... here you go girls, on me. I can't understand how you can hit it heavy like that and then turn up looking so beautiful next morning.

Sergio is in today he is giving free massages to anyone who wants in the function room! :)

Tea/Coffee.....lots of recuperating drinkies!

Tea, tablets, coffee... here you go girls, on me. I can't understand how you can hit it heavy like that and then turn up looking so beautiful next morning.
I'm telling you Dab....it ain't easy my love....took a team of husky's to get me out of bed this morning and Trinny and Susannah are still locked in the bathroom cleaning up......

Its a gift dab, and also practise makes perfect.

Is Sergio free now Coastie I could do with a quick once all over...

:smartie:

He is indeed ready and waiting for you:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v199/Mzungo/SOMBA/H.jpg

'Hi Cat...let me rub you up!'

He is indeed ready and waiting for you:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v199/Mzungo/SOMBA/H.jpg

'Hi Cat...let me rub you up!'


Woo hooo...I'm in....Sergio, Sergio where for art thou Sergio.....

Woo hooo...I'm in....Sergio, Sergio where for art thou Sergio.....


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v199/Mzungo/SOMBA/H.jpg
'I'm behind you...now lay down and lets get it on!'

Announcement everybody...the Function room shall be out of bounds for the next however long it takes for Sergio to finish with Cat.....please do not be alarmed by the sound of cracking bones, squeals of pain and excitement which may errupt from the room just carry on enjoying your drinks and buns! :laugh:

PASS HIM MY WAY WHEN YOU'VE DONE.
Slept badly, woke up at 3am with my specs digging into my nose and Tv on loud.
Need a mega massage and a large hot chocolate please.

Large hot chocolate for the young lady and well....once Cat is done you are next in line!

WHOO WHHAAAY OUCH!

Oh yes.............

Tea, tablets, coffee... here you go girls, on me. I can't understand how you can hit it heavy like that and then turn up looking so beautiful next morning.


but their breath stinks like a 100 sewers with 1000 dead rats in, Dab! :sick:

but their breath stinks like a 100 sewers with 1000 dead rats in, Dab! :sick:
You say the sweetest things Dol......

Has it been four hours yet?? Can I have more tablets??? :cry:

Is anyone having a party tonight?

I'm going to one in Glesga. Want to come?

Depends on whether or not it will be snowing...:laugh:

Probably will knowing this bloody weather :blink:

I'm going to one in Glesga. Want to come?

ooh yes please, what time?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v199/Mzungo/SOMBA/H.jpg

'Okay my little Buzz....it's time to miss-Bee-have!' :naughty:

About 7ish. It's BYOB

About 7ish. It's BYOB
I presume BYOB means bring your own beer?

Is Miss PJ going?

I presume BYOB means bring your own beer?
Beer, Bottle, B1tch, whatever you want it to mean.

Miss PJ will not be going actually as the poor thing has an exam on Monday.