Gosh it's gonna be tough judging this one tonight...magnificent entry there Dab...I under stand you met your potential star down by the canal as she was picking wild flowers and your were fishing....is this correct?

Not long to go folks...I shall be judging at around 3am so you have till then to get your S.O. Idol entries in! :wink_kiss

Oops sorry Coastie, my artistic talent hasn't been around today (or ever actually) and I haven't managed to come up with anything.

It would have been rubbish anyway.

me either, specially after reading Critiques :)

Entry number 1 was brought to you by Critique: Elvis sings Heartbreak S.O.
Here's my entry for the SOMBA Idol Competition. Got g/son this weekend so got to get in early - lol.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v611/liberated60s/elvis.jpg

(To the tune of Heartbreak Hotel)

The SOMBA rooms are crowded
With members wall to wall
Cat and Ils and FeeforAll
Are dancing in the hall

The music’s playing loudly
And Coastie’s at the bar
Floopy, Dol and Ceridwen
Are totally Ga-ga

It gets so noisy in here
It gets so crazy in here
It gets so smokey you could die

Cockney’s kissing Patsy
And Buzz and Marmy too
Dabs and Flip are watching him
And wondering what to do

Maz is on the table
SF is on the floor
PJ and Gel just took a look
And ran straight out the door

It gets so noisy in here
It gets so crazy in here
It gets so smokey you could die

Bob and Crit are laughing
At Bella’s crazy dance
Secrets tries to chat Pan up
But he aint got a chance

But though it’s always crowded
They still can find some space
For Bonnie Blink and Groucho
To come and show their face

It gets so noisy in here
It gets so crazy in here
It gets so smokey you could die

So if you’re feeling lonely
Don’t stand there in the gloom
Come in where it’s all happening
The SO Members Room

It gets so noisy in here
It gets so noisy in here
Oh Yeahhhhhh!
:ninja:

With apologies to those I left out. Nothing personal, I just ran out of steam - lol

Entry number 2 was brought to you by Mazwad: Crappa Rapper and the S.O. Raphttp://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/mazwad/rapper.jpg


Well hi all and lets have it for Crapper Rapper with Some Chattage Please

Some chattage now the call goes out
There must be someone hereabouts
I'm going in so join me please
Don't make Maz get on her knees (again)
Its time to chat Nox get in here
Bring some wine or bring some beer
Ils is here her chest displayed
Dabs enjoying a bit of shade

Chat chat chat chat chatter
Subject doesn't matter
Chat chat chat chat chatter
Come in for a natter

Patsy is that really you
Or playing games of who is who
Oops I heard the 'C' word then
Oh its Cat she's in again
Theres Crit and Buzz and Ceri too
Max and Marmie Coastie woooohooo
Pj is our resident stud
Keep him sweet with a bottle of Bud

Chat chat chat chat chatter
Subject doesn't matter
Chat chat chat chat chatter
Come in for a natter

Floopy Cockers Isis Gel
Oh the stories we could tell
Andrea Flip Dol and Fee
Its kinda like a big party
Care to join us come and share
Don't look for quizzy he's never there
We'll make you welcome never fear
Cos anyone can come in here

Chat chat chat chat chatter
Subject doesn't matter
Chat chat chat chat chatter
Come in for a natter.

Entry 3 was brought to you by Dab: Tender Tragedy and Caged Love...
http://www.noctifer.de/produkte/Inter-GothicSpitzenkleid.jpg

Please welcome Tender Tragedy, singing her own composition,


CAGED LOVE


My song is a song of tender precision,
of heartwrenching beauty and clarity.

Wild birds can’t sing like the ones in prison,
the lonely ones who live for the jailer’s charity.

In my precision I strive for perfection
and maybe one day I’ll earn your pity.

But maybe imprisonment is the only condition
that can provide for you my dedicated beauty?

Do these clear notes hide inside the orchestration
that masks my bird heart burning in misery?

Or do they signify the personification
of my sacrifice, my martyrdom, my duty?

Is that why I accept this identification
and is that why you have caged me?

The audience hears beauty in my rendition
but only you, my jailer, know the reality.

My song is a cowering parole application:
O my dark love, will you ever set me free?

The rest of you were scared off by this mass display of talent and decided to get tiddled on cheap imported beer instead and hide beneath podium 2.... :beer:

The judges verdict:

Elvis - S.O. Hotel - as much fun as this was I'm afraid I had to mark it down for lack of full on originality and the fact that seeing Elvis on stage again sent Dolores into spasms or delight and she spilt her red wine down her best virginal white dress, staining it forever. Elvis is dead but his music lives on through Crit...in her own lyrical stylee...

Crappa Rapper - Some Chattage - Fun and fully original with some very freaky hair things going on. However seeing the fact it encouraged Andrea and TE to 'Bling' up and storm the stage..agianst health and safety regs..... did give me cause for concern..A strong contender for the top prize however.

Tender Tragedy - Caged Love - A powerful piece leaving many moved to tears....infact Ils had to call the Coastguard to rescue her from the sea of tears she found her self swimming in...Another potential winner but is it all a little to deep for the SOMBA Judge....

After much deliberations it has been decided that...

Firstly you should all stand and give the contestants and their 'agents' a huge round of applause.... :thumbsup:

Crit, Maz, Dab - Take a bow...

Now the results......

In third place in what has been an incredibly difficult contest to judge is...

ELVIS - S.O. Hotel

Well done Crit...your prize is a date with Micheal Winner to Bognor.

In second place the very talented....

Tender Tragedy - Caged Love

Congratulations Dab...your prize is a date with Abi Titmuss (she's selling herself so cheap these days even I could afford her) to Plymouth.

Which means the new S.O. Idol is......

Crappa Rapper - Some Chattage Please

Chosen for a totally original piece and the fact it was an unhealthy amount of fun to sing along to...

Congratulations Maz....your prize is....free beer in the SOMBA rooms for a year and a date of your choice to accompany you each night! :)

Once again ladies and gentlemen can I ask you all to give a huge round of applause for the talent that has been on display here.....and I'm not just talking about me :naughty:

Take a bow Crit, Dab and Maz and lets all join in singing the winning entry...take it away Crappa Rapper!
Boom...tshhh...boom...tshh

For those of you who didn't get your entries in on time but would like to have taken part....fret not.....another opportunity will arise soone enough so get out there and start talent spotting and writing! :pimp:

WELL DONE
MAZ
:thumbsup: :funky: :thumbsup:

Well thank you so much after my abysmal showing in the sexiest SO female I shall milk the applause. My own personal favourite was Dab's entry but Coastie all I can say is you make a fine judge care for a beer.


Maz is pleased the 2000 soms worked

Well done, Maz! Congratulations!
http://bestsmileys.com/fireworks/7.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/fireworks/7.gifhttp://bestsmileys.com/fireworks/7.gif

:D

Is it too early for a drink?


Oh and nearly forgot, well done all potential SO Idols, the entries were all so fab! and special congratulations to Maz for winning! :beer:

Is the sun over the horizon in one direction or another..? Yes! Let the getting bladdered commence!

LOL, good measurement Dab. I always thought you had style :D

Oh, go on then. I can snooze in the car on the way home. Large V&T, please. Does Julio still work here?

Well done to all three of you for the songs, they were all fab

http://www.greenwichschools.org/gs/images/A%20Round%20of%20Applause.jpg

Oh well done...kept meaning to put in an entry but kept forgetting. Well done Maz. I shall buy you all a drink now...Gel and Dab if your not too bladdered what would you like?

Pre dinner drinky anyone........I have had several already, but don;t let that stop you all joining in.......

What would you all like...Patsy's buying....

I'll join you Buzz especially as Patsys buying :beer:

What can I get you, ladies? Buzz ils? Bucket Buzz?

Bucket of white wine.......just the jobby Pats thats very kind of you....get in practise for next weekend......

Now come on Buzz, you know it won't take that much! :laugh:

A bottle of Vodka, a bucket of ice and a couple of bottles of diet coke, please Patsy as I am here for the night! :drinking:

Tia Maria with that ils and I'll join you.

Tia Maria with that ils and I'll join you. I shall hopefully be here for some considerable time, having been deprived for 2 days. Is Quizzy doing a Bar Quiz tonight, d'ya think ils?

I'm not sure, as he is in great demand!

Just get pi55ed then, eh?

I shall hopefully be here for some considerable time, having been deprived for 2 days.

She's gone down the friggin pub...what sort of loyalty is that then.

She's gone down the friggin pub...what sort of loyalty is that then.

Why does that not surprise me :laugh:

I can tell you what...but I walked away and can't even remeber what thread I'm on now.

So I can't.

Never mind, just have another beer :beer:

Another drinky poo anyone??? :p

Yes please Buzz - that bottle of vodka didn't last long!

Evening girls vodka and sprite if you have one please.

Evening girls vodka and sprite if you have one please.
Heres the vodka, you can share with ils.....mixers are over there on the side, help yourselves.

Most kind thank you any nuts on offer?

Most kind thank you any nuts on offer?
I think cat is around somewhere, but I don't think you should call her nuts to her face, its not really that polite is it.....

Ah yes buzz talking of polite I just read the photo thread :boxing:

Ah yes buzz talking of polite I just read the photo thread :boxing:
Did I say something I shouldn't have :bag:



eidt to say..I think it's coming back to me now :o)

Ta Buzz :thumbsup:

Can I try a bit of your Vodka & sprite please maz? I have never Vodka with sprite before :shocking:

Be my guest Ils I am sure you will enjoy it. Could you mind my drink whilst I go off to watch BB thank you see you in a bit.

Be my guest Ils I am sure you will enjoy it. Could you mind my drink whilst I go off to watch BB thank you see you in a bit.

Ok Maz, see you later :D


*ils sits alone in the bar*

Koooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Ils, how are ya? Drink? Lemme guess. Bud. Two buds please bartender.

Hiya ILS. Can I have a litre of gin lemon sorbet, please? :)

Oh, hi Patsy. Didn't see you there at the bar. Would you two ladies care to join me in a delicious sorbet spesh?

Hi guys, good to see you!

I thought I was all alone as that blasted BB is on again :wallbash:

Yippeeeeeeeeee! Hello, Big Boy. Nah. Ditch the fruit and gimme a beer.

I'm actually on the vodka tonight!

All for me, then. :)

Well, if it's going spare.........

Dive in, darlin! The gin's cold and the lemon's sharp and there's loads more where that came from!

Nice glass of wine for me please and some of those delicious dabby's nuts:thumbsup:



















Ooh sorry I meant nobby's nuts:cool2:

The rest of you were scared off by this mass display of talent and decided to get tiddled on cheap imported beer instead and hide beneath podium 2.... :beer:

The judges verdict:

Elvis - S.O. Hotel - as much fun as this was I'm afraid I had to mark it down for lack of full on originality and the fact that seeing Elvis on stage again sent Dolores into spasms or delight and she spilt her red wine down her best virginal white dress, staining it forever. Elvis is dead but his music lives on through Crit...in her own lyrical stylee...

Crappa Rapper - Some Chattage - Fun and fully original with some very freaky hair things going on. However seeing the fact it encouraged Andrea and TE to 'Bling' up and storm the stage..agianst health and safety regs..... did give me cause for concern..A strong contender for the top prize however.

Tender Tragedy - Caged Love - A powerful piece leaving many moved to tears....infact Ils had to call the Coastguard to rescue her from the sea of tears she found her self swimming in...Another potential winner but is it all a little to deep for the SOMBA Judge....

After much deliberations it has been decided that...

Firstly you should all stand and give the contestants and their 'agents' a huge round of applause.... :thumbsup:

Crit, Maz, Dab - Take a bow...

Now the results......

In third place in what has been an incredibly difficult contest to judge is...

ELVIS - S.O. Hotel

Well done Crit...your prize is a date with Micheal Winner to Bognor.

In second place the very talented....

Tender Tragedy - Caged Love

Congratulations Dab...your prize is a date with Abi Titmuss (she's selling herself so cheap these days even I could afford her) to Plymouth.

Which means the new S.O. Idol is......

Crappa Rapper - Some Chattage Please

Chosen for a totally original piece and the fact it was an unhealthy amount of fun to sing along to...

Congratulations Maz....your prize is....free beer in the SOMBA rooms for a year and a date of your choice to accompany you each night! :)

Once again ladies and gentlemen can I ask you all to give a huge round of applause for the talent that has been on display here.....and I'm not just talking about me :naughty:

Take a bow Crit, Dab and Maz and lets all join in singing the winning entry...take it away Crappa Rapper!
Boom...tshhh...boom...tshh


Congratulations Mazz - a worthy winner.

Commiserations Dab - a bit late but I've been away.

The drinks are on me everyone.

Cheers Crit, I'll join you beer please :beer:

I think all 3 were fantastic, I'm glad I didn't have to judge!

I'm gonna have the biggest Guiness out there....slurp! :beer:

Nice cold glass of white wine for me please crit:thumbsup:

Here you go Andrea... :wine: - Crit would have brought it over but she's busy shmoozing with the latest talent on the block! :blink:

Oh and it looks like Cat has brought a friend with her tonight to!

http://www.purlingswine.com/photos/uncategorized/pigpic.jpg

....I thought I'd introduce you to a few of the Pompey lads!

http://15min.org/images/2001-10-31_c3.jpg

....I thought I'd introduce you to a few of the Pompey lads!

http://15min.org/images/2001-10-31_c3.jpg

I begs the 3rd from the left!

That's fine...mines the one on the right....Dol's had em all but is still undecided as to which she liked the best...TART! :w00t:

Large pot of tea please...Jose.

I have a lovely day ahead....popping into college to get some homework marked - as only one more lesson before final exam. Then taking Bazeeeeeeel for a run, first in over 2 weeks due little accident on minature motorbike resulting in burns on foot. THEN...my nephew is bringing his Australian girl friend over to meet me - she has come over for a year to be with him, bless :wub: - possible wife material. My sister is coming too and we are going to toast Delicious from Mauritiaus (as she is actually from there) with lots of beer.

Couldn't be better.
:)

What a great day you have planned Cat! :D

The only thing I have planned is work :mad:

I have a large mug of tea please Jose!

Tea for me too please before I go off to Tesco, can't even stay away when I am on holiday.

I've put a large pot out and some crosants (can't spell em but ya know what I mean) n jam....enjoy! :wink2:

Thanks for the tea Coastie but could you put those Croissants out of sight please - just too darn tempting :wacko:

Just popped in for a cuppa and seen those nice croissants. Maz sits next to a drooling Crit enjoying a croissant spread liberally with jam.

Crit doesn't need to see food to drool it's just one of her habits.

Maz swiftly turns off messenger and unplugs phone.

Maz you have a wicked streak :laugh:

I'll have a beer please Coastie (well it is lunch time now) start the weekend off, the way you mean to go on I say! :drinking:

Just popped in for a cuppa and seen those nice croissants. Maz sits next to a drooling Crit enjoying a croissant spread liberally with jam.

Crit doesn't need to see food to drool it's just one of her habits.

Maz swiftly turns off messenger and unplugs phone.

Well if Mazz is insinuating that I am getting old and dribbly I will have to retaliate.

Who was it stopped you from walking (a) out of the shop with 2 items you hadn't paid for because you'd forgotten you had picked them up and (b) straight in front of an oncoming bicycle?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v611/liberated60s/36_12_6.gif

Ils prepares to be referee on Saturday :unsure: :laugh:

Crit prepares to frisk mazz before she leaves the shop and hold her hand crossing the roads.

Bring plenty of spare tissues Mazz ;)

Enough for both ends Crit?

Enough for both ends Crit?

Yeah, my top and your .......... :devil:

Beer for Ils and well a large roll of Andrex for the dribblers!

Any chance of a hot chocolate, it's a miserable day today

Pint please! Ice cold.

I don't know why but it's horribly humid here today. I hate humid weather :mellow:

Gel...I do the best hot choc in town...the question is do you want cream and sprinkle and a flake?

Peej...here ha go hun... ice cold :beer:

Mercy buckets Coatilicious. In fact just line them up. I'm in the mood to get drunk.

Still celebrating eh Peej.....

:beer: :beer: :beer: :beer:

There that should keep ya going for at least five mins!

Coastie, Ive not had tiome to celebrate yet :(
I shall be celebrating tomorrow. Going to the student union.
And guess who is making an appearance at the union tomorrow? None other than Karl Kennedy from Neighbours!
He has become a student icon for some reason.

Eeek...okay Peej you have me worried...are you serious? Mind you it was Reg Holsworth from Corrie in my day....not that I've eever watched the soaps or understood the attraction to this day! :mellow:

ooh a big pint of water for me Coastie...just been on an extended run due to Bazeeeeel bolting off in the wrong direction.

I love Karl Kennedy...used to think he and Susan were a great pair on neighbours and always thought they had such a good marriage...I was shocked..I SAY SHOCKED! when they split up.

I can totally understand the icon bit.

Come on Coastie.....water!

Coastie Im being deadly serious. He's playing with his band tomorrow night. they're called "The Right Prescription" or something like that.

I like Karl to (and yes was gutted when he and Susan split ....this is the only soap I watch cos it's on at tea time!) but can't understand why he would be a student icon! :mellow:

Anyway...water for the slapper er I mean lady! :blush:

I like Karl to (and yes was gutted when he and Susan split ....this is the only soap I watch cos it's on at tea time!) but can't understand why he would be a student icon! :mellow:

Anyway...water for the slapper er I mean lady! :blush:

Slappers fine Coastie, you don't have to correct yourself. :thumbsup:

Student icon? Really?

Oh well, each to their own.

Pint of Vodka for me please. I'm pronouncing today a write off

Do you have any rhubarb yoghurt? :ninja:

I have some home made rhubarb wine...will that do Floops?

Gel here ha go enjoy :beer: don't mind the frothy top it's just I don't have a vodka smilie!

Cat....more water?

No thanks Coastie, I'm going to have a little sit down now with a cup of tea and watch some live BB6 - I need to rest my aching, stinging legs...my run is strewn with treacherous stinging nettles and I had to fight my way through them.

If they are still stinging in a hour or so I will come back and rub them down with dock leaves and drink lots of beer.

No thanks Coastie, I'm going to have a little sit down now with a cup of tea and watch some live BB6 - I need to rest my aching, stinging legs...my run is strewn with treacherous stinging nettles and I had to fight my way through them.

If they are still stinging in a hour or so I will come back and rub them down with dock leaves and drink lots of beer.

The men you were chasing are still looking a bit flustered to!

http://www.heartofsummer.org/images/2004/Men's%20Winners%20of%20HOS5k04.jpg

Come in 493! :w00t: Still stinging so a beer please, purely for medicinal reasons.

Beer, did someone mention beer?

Looks like number x73 may have caught Cat.. he's got a bit of a sweat on hasn't he!

I'd like to try some of your fine rhubard wine Coastie, or we could send Cat back to make some nettle wine.

YOU MAY LARF NOX! My legs are killing me..the favourite bit of my run through this secluded woody copse is totally over grown with nettles..I was being hunted down by them, they surrounded me with no escape...I am stung from head to toe.

I've had 2 beers now and still I can feel the pain......more beer please Coastie!

Where's that PJ when I need him, got a supply of dock leaves here so he can rub me down.

Peej is busy showing me his fave sexual position in the function room...he'll be out in a mo! :ohmy:

Oh and No.360 now has your home number...he thinks your really 'nice'! :naughty:

*puts down inflatable doll*

And there you have it Coastie. That's my favourite position. :)

Now, go get me another pint.

Certainly Peej...but can you answer me one thing.....is it not dangerous to bend like that?

:beer:

What do you have to do to get a beer in this joint? :glare:

You've get to get your tits out and give them a little jiggle. honestly, it's the only way Coastie will serve you.

*waits patiently on ILS doing so*

Ils unleashes her noty so secret weapon..swings left swings right...knocks Peej across the room and recieves a large beer :beer: of approval from all the guys!

Enough of that young lady! :mad:

OYE ILS PUT THOSE WEAPONS AWAY!!

Rushes to PJ lying sprawled on the floor, picks him up and brushes him down.

Pint of Stella straight away for PJ please Coastie.

Goodness it's a bad show if you have to get your tits out just to get a drink these days..... :bag:

This use to be a nice place! :ninja:

Goodness it's a bad show if you have to get your tits out just to get a drink these days..... :bag:

This use to be a nice place! :ninja:

It was but then Patsy moved into town....and well....she comes from a pole dancing backgroun and all that so the standards around here have dropped!

But why should we all be dragged down to her level?

Patsy enters, totally starkers......

What do I get for this then? Way, hayyyyyyyyyyy (hands on hips, swinging to and fro.......)

But why should we all be dragged down to her level?

She has a gun....two in fact! :gunsmilie

Who has a gun? Two in fact?

Where's she hiding them?

And won't they get lost up there?

I've been to Amsterdam, you know.

Stick your fingers in any dykes?

Has someone been talking? :bag:

Cat has :wink_kiss

Crikey what you lot will do for a free drink :D

Free Drink????

Where??

Crikey what you lot will do for a free drink :D

It wasn't for a free drink gel - it was to get served! :bag:


The place has really gone down hill lately! :ninja:

Feel like a lager night tonight.
Pint of stella for me please.
No boobs out, no nakedness, just a pint of stella per chance :beer:

No boobs out, no nakedness, just a pint of stella per chance :beer:
I'm afraid that won't do.

Can I have a whiskey please? *gets man-titties out*

Ok good mornig. I am FULLY clothed and would like a cup of tea please.........milk, no sugar many thanks....

Christ look at the state of this place....are those Patsy clothes and what the hell is ils bra doing on the light fittings. Tsk this place is a mess!!

buzz attempts to clean the somba bar before the others get here.....wanders round the back and

PJhow many times have yo been told that position is not physically possible with a real woman and would you stop bringing that plastic thing in here....

Right...can you all have cold drinks for a bit...the water heaters packed up...someone (not mentioning any names..PEEJ) left a thong floating in the bit where you put the water and now it's all clogged up! :mad2:

I'll have an Orange Juice then please Coastie :thumbsup:

Glass of water for me please Coastie, feeling a bit rough today. Going off to get some lemons later and will drink loads of lemon and honey and take some contact 400 anything that will help cos I am not going to be missing tomorrow.

I am not going to be missing tomorrow.

I'm glad to hear that Mazza :thumbsup:

I hope you feel better soon :hug:

For the two ladies that do brunch (try one of Flippy's low fat brunch muffins why dontcha!) :thumbsup:

Drinks are served!

A nice cold bud for me please bar personage, early night for me tonight...have even set the timer thingy on Sky+ to record BB and Love Island just in case don't last.

Would anyone care to join me?

I'll have a bottle of Miller please - a cold one - from the back of the fridge!

ooh Robert please allow me.....Bottle of Miller from the back of the fridge please.

Cat sits down on a bar stool, hitches up skirt, plumps enormous bosom and turns to Rob.

Evening .. :naughty:

Due to my condition :bag: I am currently experimenting with soft drinks.

Did you know that if you mix clear lemonade with lemon barley water you get cloudy lemonade?

No I have never considered rocket science as a viable career option.

Let me get you that (what ever it was) floopy. Have you met Rob?


Floopy look at the stash on that :naughty:

Rob the Don(g) ?

Oh yes, we've already met :ninja:

ooh Robert please allow me.....Bottle of Miller from the back of the fridge please.

Cat sits down on a bar stool, hitches up skirt, plumps enormous bosom and turns to Rob.

Evening .. :naughty:



:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: rob the don has not met cat

I reckon you both need your eyes tested - and to learn to whisper - but never mind:D

Anybody ready for another - quiet tonight innit - do you think the rest of them have found somewhere else to drink?

I would like a beer please

buzz plumps her ample cleavage and sits down next to rob...

How are you this evening.....

Er - any chance of one of you shifting your ample cleavage a little so I can get my bottle near my mouth:ohmy:

Yes please Robby. I'll have a bud with my buddies.

Cat manouvers herself between Rob the Don(g) and accidently elbows Buzz in her not so ample bosom.

Rob...what have you been UP to today :naughty:

Certainly Rob, I am sorry I did not realise I was cramping you so badly.....

Buzz manouerve around cat and ends up next to Rob....

Ignore her she will fall over fairly soon.............

Rob...what have you been UP to today :naughty:

Oh - nothing much - had lunch with posh and becks - spent the afternoon in bed with Cameron Diaz - supposed to have tea with the queen - but I just couldn't be bothered - a normal, boring sort of day really:D

Oh - nothing much - had lunch with posh and becks - spent the afternoon in bed with Cameron Diaz - supposed to have tea with the queen - but I just couldn't be bothered - a normal, boring sort of day really:D

LARF! I have days like this all the time.....I have just got off the phone from George Clooney..George will you please take NO for an answer, I have an early start tomorrow...LARF

George did this to me actually.....Cat lifts up top and shows deep scratch marks down her lithe, tanned back.
He's a tiger.

Is Cameron like that Rob....OH So sorry Buzz didn't mean to catch you with my teracotta bowl of nuts in the forehead...are you alright, why don't you go and sit down over there and take a moment.

LARF! I have days like this all the time.....I have just got off the phone from George Clooney..George will you please take NO for an answer, I have an early start tomorrow...LARF

George did this to me actually.....Cat lifts up top and shows deep scratch marks down her lithe, tanned back.
He's a tiger.

Is Cameron like that Rob....OH So sorry Buzz didn't mean to catch you with my teracotta bowl of nuts in the forehead...are you alright, why don't you go and sit down over there and take a moment.

No thats okay I am quite comfy here thanks...buzz removes the nuts from her ample clevage and checks her watch.....yes the time is fast approaching for cat to fall off her chair

So Rob. Cameron Diaz eh......would have thought you were more a J Lo person myself.....

quck flick of the leg of cats chair and ooooo there she goes...

Cameron is an animal - chek out the bite marks on my equally slim and tanned torso!!!

If you believe the slim part - you'll believe anything

Oh - Buzz there appear to be a couple more nuts down your cleavage - let me get them out for you:w00t:

Cat leaps up, non plussed and in a gracefull swoop - Angelina Jolie stylee in Tomb Radar - grabs the bar from the ceiling (that holds the disco ball on special occasions). Clutching the bar she swings with the agility of Olga Corbett..building up a momentum...then on a final swing she grabs Buzz round the neck between her ankles and flings her threw the window on the back swing.

Cat smoothes ruffled hair...and sits down where Buzz had been.
So Rob...any more scars of interest to share :naughty:

Er - didn't you used to be Buzz???

Er - didn't you used to be Buzz???

She had to leave Rob...probationary times and all that. We don't talk about it much, she's a nice girl really..it wasn't her fault.

I see

Hang on - isn't that her coming in the door - and what's that she's got in her hand ...............................:ohmy:

I see

Hang on - isn't that her coming in the door - and what's that she's got in her hand ...............................:ohmy:

Oh No! Not again Buzz..put the guinea pig down Buzz...I'm sure you won't impress Rob with your party trick.

Oh - I don't know - this might be interesting!!

Buzz walks back into the bar, picking pieces of broken glass out of her hair brandishing the sign from the Somba bar in her hand..
Sorry Coastie it was the first thing I grabbed to break my fall.....
well cat...I think you are in my seat my lovely....move over...picks up cat by her armpits and removes her to another part of the bar...sit there and don' move again. PJ will be along later with his blow up doll, you can play with them
Well Rob, I am sorry I was whisked away so suddenly, now where were we???
Oh yes.....your scars...that Cameron honestly, I would treat you like a king......

Cat sits in the corner with the guinea pig contemplating her next move.

yells to buzz..
"Me and PJ have an open relationship you know, can I have another beer and some lettuce please"

Oooh I like guinea pigs *guinea pig makes a run for the door*

Sorry folks - gotta run - seeing a man about a dog ...........


I forgot all about PJ!!!

Sorry folks - gotta run - seeing a man about a dog ...........


I forgot all about PJ!!!

WE HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP!.

Pint of Stella for me please, feeling like another lager night. (no wine in the house)

Good evening Coastie, are you playing musical computers down there in Pompey :w00t:

I am nicely tiddled so anything goes tonight

vodka... please... I did cleaning, it's horrid...

Ooh Gel, you help yourself, you deserve it after overcoming the awful cleaning.

I'm on stella, done ironing today :ohmy:

Well as its very quiet round here tonight, and all the missing members will be as nissed as pewts by now, so in my infinate wisdom I've decided its a free for all tonight

A large bottle of white for me, anyone else want a large bottle of anything :thumbsup:

Wine, beer, spirits? It's all up for grabs tonight.

Ahh I totally forgot that The Portsmouth Meet was this weekend. I wondered where everyone was!
Oh well, anyone else want to join me for a drink?

WE HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP!.
Do we? :mad2:

Hey PJ, if your still offering I'm up for a drink, white wine if I may.

I've had a few already but I bet not as much as them lot down in Pompey.
I notice Maxine's online, how ya doing luv:thumbsup:

So are Dab and Pandora.

GET IN HERE YOU LOT!!

Hiya folks. I'm ready for bed actually, so I won't have a drink, thanks. Been very quiet here today, with the girls doing Pompey, hasn't it?

Okay, that's me. Night night. xxx

Goodnight Mr Dabster, sleep well:bye:

Well I had better end the weekend in the way I started it....beer please Jose!

Pretty knackered after late night and drive back....but it was worth it. I havn't larfed so much in ages.

My round...anyone care to join me?

Yes please, I'll have a cold beer with you, Cat. Good to see you all back home again and I'm looking forward to hearing/seeing the evidence. :photo:

There you go dear...you were missed, we all said it would have been lovely to have you there.

It really was a great day....the star has to be Dolores. She is the funniest loveliest lady and had me crying with laughter....she was truley on fire.

And the wonderfull Critique - what a star...between her and Dolores there was never a dull moment.

Mmm... thanks, I needed that. Mouth was drier than the bottom of a camel rustler's saddlebag.

I was with you in spirit. Kept imagining shrieky laughter and giggly jokes, everyone looking gorgeous, clinky glasses and lots of phwoooars, and you, Cat, sliding elegantly sleepwards. :hug:

Another one? My round.

I was with you in spirit. Kept imagining shrieky laughter and giggly jokes, everyone looking gorgeous, clinky glasses and lots of phwoooars, and you, Cat, sliding elegantly sleepwards. :hug:

Another one? My round.


Oh yes please, but dabby boy you would have been proud of me...I was still going at midnight - having played and won 5 games of pool in the meantime. AND I wanted to go dancing.....but was encouraged not too...which this morning was a HUGE blessing and I was very thankfull I hadn't....last remember coming back on the ferry at midnight trying to recreate The Titanic scene at the helm with the wild haired Dolores!

I certainly made up for my poor perfomance at the London meet.

having played and won 5 games of pool

Just an orange breezer, for me please Jose.

How many? Coastie didn't win any then? No? I didn't, I was shocking. I was the only one who fell over, Dabby, getting off the ferry on the way back I slipped on the walkway thingy. Went down elegantly and gently on my ample behind.

Dolores the Exotic was the star of the meet. She is truly MARVELLOUS!

I just saw Patsy's photos! You all look wonderful - and like you're having a brilliant time. Love the Urk-stances. No-one had a camcorder, then..? Shame. :laugh:

Hope you didn't see the one I just deleted Dabby. Probably did, never mind. :unsure:

Is your rear okay, Pats? Bug gers they are, those drunken gangways. :devil:

Is your rear okay, Pats? Bug gers they are, those drunken gangways. :devil:


Peachy, thanks. :wink2:

dab...I'm ready for another...actually shall we share a bottle of red..I have a half opened one here..

Awww poor Patsy. I bet you fell gracefully and made it look like an art form.

I, on the other hand, walked slam into a sliding door on the train which decided to close when I had one foot through :cry:

Jarred my already painful back. Those things are lethal and should be alcohol activated :bag:

Awww poor Patsy. I bet you fell gracefully and made it look like an art form.

I, on the other hand, walked slam into a sliding door on the train which decided to close when I had one foot through :cry:

Jarred my already painful back. Those things are lethal and should be alcohol activated :bag:

Actually, it was quite graceful, for me. Had to make a big thing of it though, obviously!

How's your foot now Crit? Do you have any bruising you could post?

Awww poor Patsy. I bet you fell gracefully and made it look like an art form.

I, on the other hand, walked slam into a sliding door on the train which decided to close when I had one foot through :cry:

Jarred my already painful back. Those things are lethal and should be alcohol activated :bag:

LARF!! Oh I wish you were sitting here next to me so I could watch your delivery of this line in the fleisch.

Could I have a beer please.....I have cleansed and toned and am ready to start again now.

Actually, it was quite graceful, for me. Had to make a big thing of it though, obviously!

How's your foot now Crit? Do you have any bruising you could post?

Not my foot Patsy, my back. Keep up now. Not yet but maybe tomorrow. I don't really need a picture of your bruised ar$e though - I will just use my limited imagination :shocking:

Sorry, love, got the foot stuck, but jarred the back. Got it.

Would a wine and lemonade help ease the discomfort?

Could I have a beer please.....I have cleansed and toned and am ready to start again now.

Buzz I'm on the red wine...want to share or a beer? I havn't washed..still smell of pub...its nice..makes the memory real somehow.

Sorry, love, got the foot stuck, but jarred the back. Got it.

Would a wine and lemonade help ease the discomfort?

Will you be able to serve her? Is she sober enough??

Buzz I'm on the red wine...want to share or a beer? I havn't washed..still smell of pub...its nice..makes the memory real somehow.

Minger :bag: I'll stick to beer....I find 'my tone' becomes unaccpetable on red wine :w00t:

Sorry, love, got the foot stuck, but jarred the back. Got it.

Would a wine and lemonade help ease the discomfort?

Will you be able to serve her? Is she sober enough??

That will do nicely thanks Patsy, just get it over here NOW! I've realised what I've been missing all these years and will be round Tesco's for a bottle of cheap white plonk and a gallon of diet lemonade first thing tomorrow. Then when I'm in the chatroom I will be able to talk fluent "pished" like everyone else :naughty:

Oh look at you Crit....double quoting you old show off :goof:

Oh look at you Crit....double quoting you old show off :goof:

Gimme anuvver drink you patronising floozy - don't you know I taught them uvver young 'uns to do it! Where's me drink, where's me drink (bangs table with fist).

Do ya like the new drunk me? Or do ya fink I sh'd go on da waggon?

dab...I'm ready for another...actually shall we share a bottle of red..I have a half opened one here..

Sorry about the delayed reaction, Cat. Someone nicked my PC and played a long word game on it. Don't spose there's much of that red left now, is there? Nevermind, I'd better stick to beer anyway. What's everyone having? My round.


I don't really need a picture of your bruised ar$e though

Speak for yourself, Crit. Oi, Pats, show us yer bum!

Gimme anuvver drink you patronising floozy - don't you know I taught them uvver young 'uns to do it! Where's me drink, where's me drink (bangs table with fist).

Do ya like the new drunk me? Or do ya fink I sh'd go on da waggon?
Ohh no I LIKE you drunk.....it kinda suits you now I have met you........
For goodness sake will someone get this woman a drink she is dying of thirst here....

Ohh no I LIKE you drunk.....it kinda suits you now I have met you........
For goodness sake will someone get this woman a drink she is dying of thirst here....

Dash bedder - a birra reshpek - dash awl ah ashk. (Downs Spritzer in one). Cosh I'm (hic) reel hard now. (Falls sideways with soppy grin)

Blimy - one night with you lot...........................

Can I have a large coke please - I've got to teach tomorrow

(Polishes halo)

Don't you believe it, she was the ringleader. She's very fierce, you know.

Don't you believe it, she was the ringleader. She's very fierce, you know.

A likely story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I just made my own drink and then when I turned around it was gone. I thought I was going mad until my brother asked for another one! Damn cheek.

Perhaps I can get my OWN drink in here?

Drinks all round.....although I'm staying off the booze today.... :wacko:

Perhaps a small hair of the dog Coastie - you know you want to :D

Oooo nooooooo....had lovely dark guiness :pooh: this morning you know!

In that case hun you should be tough enpough for a bottle of vodka or two :D

Water and tea all the way! :bag: I blame Crit..she is such a bad influence you know...forced me to drink all those pints she did... :ohmy:

Water and tea all the way! :bag: I blame Crit..she is such a bad influence you know...forced me to drink all those pints she did... :ohmy:

Yeah but Patsy told me to. She said you hung from the ceiling doing monkey noises after 6 pints. I really wanted to see that. :pimp:

Yeah but Patsy told me to. She said you hung from the ceiling doing monkey noises after 6 pints. I really wanted to see that. :pimp:

No I didn't....it was the rigging of the Victory not the ceiling I was swinging from and it was after four pints! :blush:

No I didn't....it was the rigging of the Victory not the ceiling I was swinging from and it was after four pints! :blush:

Dammit! I missed it. Ah well, there's always the London Eye next year :naughty:

Pint of your best vodka please and a prairie oyster for Coastie.

Pint of whatever Coastie - as long as it's alcoholic hen.

Hey Nox, there's a guy waiting for you outside. He's says he's your blind date or something. Oh look there he's came in now.



http://www.cville.com/members/ridenour/ugly.jpg

Who's that bloke with the tartan vest lying sparko on the floor outside? Looked a bit like Nox's ex.

Anyway....beer anyone on this lovely summers eve?

Who's that bloke with the tartan vest lying sparko on the floor outside? Looked a bit like Nox's ex.

Anyway....beer anyone on this lovely summers eve?
Me me me please....just got in from swimming and delivering messages to people!!

and I am gagging for a beer.......

Mmmm, yes please, you lovely Jewel in the Rough!

I was heading down to the Plymouth Barbican for a cold beer outside a waterfront pub, but the company is finer here.

Righteee ho. 3 cold beers please barpersonage?

Did you see BBLB dab? if so what was that model all about then....buzz watch it tomorrow morning.

Can I have one? Am I too late?

Sorry, Cat. I was watching the tennis.

Well, that one didn't touch the sides! Another three over here, please, young Adonis! :thumbsup:

Oops! Make that four please, Addy. Evening PJ :bye:

oh no PJ....best you start drinking now.

Another one for the Scottish Crumpet please.

Oh great, a nice crowd in tonight - another beer over here please :beer:

Evening ILS! I'll get this. Have you had a pleasant day?

Cheers dabby :D

Work was a bit crap but I have finished now until Monday so things are looking up :thumbsup:

ooh lucky you...then again in 6 weeks I will have 6 weeks off.

Going to paint the hall, not tell Mr Cat...book the meister out for a few days and paint...he won't notice.

Another beer anyone?

Yeah! No work tomorrow! Party night tonight, then?

Yes please Cat :beer:

What colour are you going to paint it?


Dab - of course :wink2:

Evening everyone. I'll have a beer too, please Cat. I'm off tomorrow, but got loads of "jobs" to do, unfortunately.

Beige/off white...something light. its an edwardian orange and brown (my choice - made a mistake).

Pats...beer coming up.

The Rickmeister wan'ts to come to Dublin.

Then what's stopping him?

Then what's stopping him?

He could get a better offer.

Daft ******.

Tony and Terry said they might pop by later...Chukka said he would only come if Dol kept her hands to herself this time and Bob (sweet Bob) is unable to make it due to family comitments....... :angel_not

Here they come now...and their bringing some friends!!

http://www.seatenthusiasts.co.uk/albums/albun06/LADS.jpg

He could get a better offer.

Daft ******.


****ing ****

Oiy...enough...the guys are expecting to share some quality time with ladies not laddetts! :mad2:

Here they come now...and their bringing some friends!!


That's Chucker on the end, the aggressive little get in the orange jacket.

Oiy...enough...the guys are expecting to share some quality time with ladies not laddetts! :mad2:


****ing b****cks (it actually allowed the whole word then, but didn't want to be moderated?

That's Chucker on the end, the aggressive little get in the orange jacket.
Yaeh and he fancies you...he actually asked if the condom machine was working..I asked why..he explained I told him that you already had you hands full with the offering of some Asian people! :unsure:

He loved me. He fought it valiantly, but he love me. Settled for Dol in the end though. Oops, did I say that out loud? :shutup:

He loved me. He fought it valiantly, but he love me. Settled for Dol in the end though. Oops, did I say that out loud? :shutup:

Yes....and very happy she was to...although I feel she now owes you, afterall you did all the hard work! :unsure:

I did, I definitely softened that very large chip on his shoulder, made him laugh, then **** whoosh**** off to the next challenge. Which I believe was trying to watch Jason Orange on the big screen. Yum Yum Yum.

I did, I definitely softened that very large chip on his shoulder, made him laugh, then **** whoosh**** off to the next challenge. Which I believe was trying to watch Jason Orange on the big screen. Yum Yum Yum.
No it was trying to stop Cat from scaring off poor Tony and Terry..who were also out for a nice quiet drink befoe the arrival of the SOMBA Ladies! :blush:

Oh Coastie - could I have a nice cold beer? I could really do with one today! I wan't to celebrate getting rid of the workmen! :beer:

:beer: and I'll join ya! :beer:

Cheers my lovely :thumbsup:

You're welcome! :)

A bottle of you best bud please bar personage. I have cooked the curry for myself and Mr Cat, the boys tea is on...so I am now opening the door and gleefully stepping into the land of sozzle.

Anyone else coming?

I really, really, want a large Baileys on ice.

I really, really, want a large Baileys on ice.

Why can't you have one...I'll get you one.

Oh thanks poppet, you are wonderful. :D

There you go, may I say you are looking rather lovely this evening...been exfoliating have we? I didn't this morning as had to wash with bubble bath as no soap - oh ******** I knew there was something I forgot at sainsburies...poo.

What does this evening have instore for you.

Well I have been massaging my lovely buff body in a marshmallow scented Lush bath...this evening I may imbibe a little and I have a wonderful evening of EE and BB ahead of me...what more could a girl want.

And what will you be doing my lovely? You look fantastic too - good enough to eat (or lick at least).

Helloooooo everyone.
Can I have a large cold beer please and some nibbles....the kids are fed and out playing, Mr B has buggered off to the pub and I am here gettig pickled all by myself....

There you go Buzz...

Ceri, you can look but not lick. Another Baileys?

Yes please.

What about licking but not looking? :ninja:

No, I don't trust you...you would peek.

Just had to change a pooey nappy, the joy. `

Husband again? :bag:

Husband again? :bag:

Don't be silly...Mr Cat dosn't do that any more - used to when we first met...not poo but wee in the middle of the night, all over my clothes usually - and usually after a drunken session.

Bless, he is reading Winnie the Pooh to the Meister as we speak, whilst his parping, drunken wife ignores her family and talks to people in cyber space. He is a good understanding man.

It's lovely that your family understands your addiction Cat....now step away from the computer and go give them both a hug so they realise that you still love them...go on Cat you can do this...roll back the chair and stand...turn away from the computer...approach a member of your family...open arms and hug... :hug:

They all run away when she does this.......

It's the body odour isn't it....I noticed it over the week end but didn't like to say anything... :sick: