I am choosing to ignore the above comments and not be drawn in.

Right..its that time on a saturday night....beers are on me, who wants one?

Been unblocking then devising protectors for our drains today. The Meister takes great joy in shoving things down them, himself included, they are very old so I have had to fashion a guard from chicken wire skillfully cut and shaped to fit the holes, double layered so he can't shove stones down; trimmed the Russian Vine, took kids to the fair (this will still be on next week Patsy), and am ready for a guzzle.

Has anybody else had such an enthralling day?

You put me to shame with the busyness of your day, Cat. I've done... well... nothing, really... :bag:

So I'll have a lovely brandy and coke, please. Time to do something. :w00t:

A beer for me please Cat!

I've been to a footie tournement today, where my youngest son's team got in to the semi final before getting knocked out! It was a nice day although a little chilly and the real bonus was the bar was open!

Sloshed again then are we ils :laugh: Never catch me in that state on a saturday afternoon..Oh no.

Beer coming and a what ever it was with coke dabster.

What shall we do this evening then....a spot of entertainment would be good don't you think?

Thank you muchly, Cat.

Yes, entertainment, good. :)

I'm having a slightly hippy evening, actually.

Another one, ladies? My round.

Did I hear my name? No? Why not? Evening all. I'll have one of those beers please Cat. Fancy a bit of our BBQ? We've got loads spare.

I'll get this, Pats. A cold beer for the beautiful lady, please.

Cat's off elsewhere talking about what she's done this weekend because earlier on she was busy doing something else entirely, or something...

I'm in a mellow quandry here - don't know whether to keep on listening to Santana or turn the telly on for Dr Who. But I'm on my third brandy in my first coke, so it really doesn't matter.

Oh, no thanks, no BBQ food for me. I've already had today's calory. :w00t:

oh Santana....I liiiiiiiike the way she looks, the colour of her hair.

I have a story about this dab....when I was in middle school the school play was the modern day Cinderella and she left her wedged shoe at the disco..this was the song the DJ aka prince sang when he couldn't find her.

Memories, memories.....

Entertainment: What about inviting Sister Cat to do a turn on the Piano? She's a game old bird and I'm sure she'll oblige.

Okay, let's give her a go. :thumbsup:

Sister Cat
in the Bar Tonight
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/Caty65/SisterCat.bmp

8.30pm
Sister Cat will be singing a variety of songs and sonnets, percussion instruments will be provided.

Afterwards: Open Forum with nibbles.

Helpers needed: Tambourine, Glockenspiel, Triangle, Tom Tom Drum and Cymbols.

Please register your willingness to participate.

I'll help! Show me a large instrument and I'll be bobbing up and down all night

I'll help! Show me a large instrument and I'll be bobbing up and down all night

Which one do you want then...you will have to be around for 8.30. I picture you with the Tom Tom.

They'll do - I'd prefer to wrap my legs round something rather than having to blow away all night.

Oo oo..... tambourine for me please. Always fancied joining the Sally Army so that I could play one.

They'll do - I'd prefer to wrap my legs round something rather than having to blow away all night.

There you go my dear..The Tom Tom...you will have to be alert OK.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/Caty65/TomTom.bmp

When asked can you play quick notes to the centre please.

I'll take the cymbol, please, Choir Mistress.

The Triangle for me please Cat! *ting*

I'll take the cymbol, please, Choir Mistress.

Cymbols coming up...please take note of the tone I want you to clash at please dab.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/Caty65/Cymbols.bmp

Oo oo..... tambourine for me please. Always fancied joining the Sally Army so that I could play one.


Ahem......... drums fingers in faux patience

The Triangle for me please Cat! *ting*

And the triangle for you my little ball of joy. Don't get carried away though will you...the triangle will be playing a minimal yet integral part...please don't expand of your own accord.

Just the Glockenspiel now...any takers....I suggest the rest of you toddle off practise with your instruments.

I know we can always trust you to set the correct tone, Cat. :)

'Ere! Where's my bleedn' tambourine?

Ahem......... drums fingers in faux patience

I do apologise Patsy..I thought I had sent you your tambourine...well here it is. Now you have an integral part as I will be calling on you to shake, rattle and roll.

You up for that?

Here is your weapon:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/Caty65/Tambourine.bmp

I'm ready, Mrs God. I could glock with one had and tamb with the other, if you'd like.

Oh give the Glocken-flaming-spiel here then, I'll have a go. I always get stuck with that one. I can never get it under my chin.

Just tell me when to Glock and when to Spiel.

And the triangle for you my little ball of joy. Don't get carried away though will you...the triangle will be playing a minimal yet integral part...please don't expand of your own accord.



As if I would expand of my own accord :glare:

This is a bit exciting, isn't it? :w00t:

Oh give the Glocken-flaming-spiel here then, I'll have a go. I always get stuck with that one. I can never get it under my chin.

Just tell me when to Glock and when to Spiel.

Well done Critters...I will just be asking you to A-E up or down OK.

Just going to get changed...

Wheres my triangle then?

How am I suppose to practice if you don't give it to me! :mad:

Changed? Do you think she could change into Clive Owen?

Well done Critters...I will just be asking you to A-E up or down OK.

Just going to get changed...

Quick, while she's changing, does anyone know what to A-E up or down means?

Wheres my triangle then?

How am I suppose to practice if you don't give it to me! :mad:

Oh dear lord...apoligies Ils...here it is ...quick...behind the curtain the show is about to begin...don't get carried away please.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/Caty65/Triangle.bmp

Sister Scatterbrain. Ils hasn't got her triangle, you numb nun.


Edit: Oops, there it is. Sorry Sister. :blush:

Dim the lights please ils....

Oh, God. I need to pee.

ils dims the lights with a ting ting of the triangle

I need a drink............

Oh, God. I need to pee.

Hold it, Pats! We might need the horse's stream sound later.

Oo I could pee on the tambourine. Atmospheric.

I've got a curry ordered - this better be quick:whistling

Sister Cat

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/Caty65/SisterCat.bmp

Oh so jolly to see you all here...lets commence with some fun..but first a roll call....

Cymbols can we hear you.....

I dropped one. Sorry.

Crash!

WUNDERBAR!!! Cymbols...

Glockenspeil...A - E up or down

I've got a curry ordered - this better be quick:whistling

Give your Tom Tom to Patsy if necessary, she's willing...tsk.

ABCDE EDCBA

Ding flipping Dong!

it's ok...........

Whilst we are waiting...

TRIANGLE

Tingle for me!

ABCDE EDCBA

Ding flipping Dong!

You can be replaced, you know. A bit more spirit, please! :mad2:

I saw that WHILST

ABCDE EDCBA

Ding flipping Dong!
Well done Glockenspeile - good glocking
.

OK Tambourine...I want you to shimmey and bang...go on then.

You can be replaced, you know. A bit more spirit, please! :mad2:


Make mine a double, thanks

:ranting: I saw that WHILST

Look I can't have everything OK

Patsy snatches at one of Crit's spielers....

Right..I'm ready to start with my first song...is every one else?

OK Tambourine...I want you to shimmey and bang...go on then.


Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring! Chachinnnnnnnnnng......................
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrissssssssssssh!

POOM TUPPA POOM TUPPA POOM

EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!

Ready........ prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooosh

Yup. Hang on, let me turn Peter Frampton off in me headset...

Okay.

:wub: in The Herd

Ding Ding Ding Ding Dong Dong Ding Ding

Hits Patsy with other Spieler

Good intro patsy...here we go..

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/Caty65/SisterCat.bmp

My Favourite Things:

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
Ths are a few of my favourite things..

In the following order


Tambourine...shingle
Glock - up A- E
Triangle - through out
Tom tom - once where appropriate
Cymbols...at the end

Be quick please ..there is another verse.

Yup. Hang on, let me turn Peter Frampton off in me headset...

Okay.
I'd let him show me the way any time.

Ching Ching Whoosh.......

POOM TUPPA POOM TUPPAPOOM

Thought you would. Ooh...

Crash!

Dinga-ding-ding-ding

Tries to play Glock and triangle in the others' absence.


Crit barges Patsy out of the way, rather roughly."tingle tang"

Dinga-ding-ding-ding

Oye..I'm sorry to interject but when the frig did a Glock go Dinga a ling a ling.....NEVER....a glock goes...bonk bonk bonk.

COME ON!

Miss, Patsy's interfering with me

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Next verse..TRIANGLE>>>SHAPE UP.

Cream coloured ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and scnicnitsels with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favourite things..

Lets just hear the Glock with a light shimmering of the tambourine here please.

Sister. Ils is comatose again. Shall I take up her mantle? Or her triangle?

Oye..I'm sorry to interject but when the frig did a Glock go Dinga a ling a ling.....NEVER....a glock goes...bonk bonk bonk.

COME ON!

The name glockenspiel comes from the German language and means "to play the bells."
Also called orchestra bells, the glockenspiel resembles a small xylophone

Excuse me! My bells go ding ding ;)

sssssssssshimerrrrrrr

Miss, Patsy's interfering with me

I see you and hear you Crit...Patsy...leave her Glock alone and just concentrate on you tambourine please.

Now go back to google and ask what they're made of. I think you'll find it's hollowed out wood, a bit like your brain!

Tries to force triangle over Crit's head.

The name glockenspiel comes from the German language and means "to play the bells."
Also called orchestra bells, the glockenspiel resembles a small xylophone

Excuse me! My bells go ding ding ;)

OK..point taken...we shall take this up later.

NEXT VERSE:

Girls in white dreses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into sprint
These are a few of my favourite things..

CYMBOLS....NOW!

Crash! Rimrimrimrimrimrimrimimim

Sorry. Dropped it again.

POOM TUPPA POOM TUPPA POOM

but it is made of steel bars. The glockenspiel is typically played with wooden or plastic mallets, producing a high tuned sound that is bright and penetrating.

Forces Patsy's head between two Glocks and kicks her up the bum

Know-all :naughty:

Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrisssssssssssh chingchingching..................


Tingle tangle tinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng!

POOM TUPPA POOM TUPPA POOM


NOT YOU...I didn't ask for Tom Tom's...just be patient.

Right..the finaleee.

but it is made of steel bars. The glockenspiel is typically played with wooden or plastic mallets, producing a high tuned sound that is bright and penetrating.

Forces Patsy's head between two Glocks and kicks her up the bum

Know-all :naughty:

Play your instrument, woman!

Crash Smash Crash

I felt it was appropriate....

Ding Ding Donga Dong Ding Ding

Sulking now

WHEN THE DOG BITES
WHEN THE BEE STINGS
WHEN I'M FEELING SAD
I SIMPLY REMEMBER MY FAVOURITE THINGS
AND THEN I DON'T FEEL SOOOOOOO BAD


Everyone together...free for all....
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/Caty65/SisterCat.bmp

LA LA LA LA LA LA

WELL DONE!

pooommm........

Leaps across the floor, rugby tackles Crit, whose mallets fly into the air, catches mallets and plays those tubes.

Donk dink donk diddly diddly donk plink plock.

I felt it was appropriate....

****ing myself.

plicka plonk dink dock

tingle tang ting ching

broooooooooooooooooosh shimmer

SmerrrrRash! Smash Crashing Crash Crash!

POOM TUPPA POOM TUPPA POOM

That's it - I have spieled my glocken for the last time.

Nobody takes me seriously. I'm going to get me a Tuba next time and you can keep your percussion instruments!!! Naaanananana

Dingalingalingalinga DING

Sister Pats and Sister Fee...STOP ****ING FIGHTING YOU ******S!

THINK OF THE LORD!

IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, YOU SILLY BINT

Any one fancy Edelweiss whilst I'm in the mood?

Can we go and hang out outside the friary now, sister?

Sits in the corner quietly, sharpening the edges of a cymbol in readiness to meet the Dudley Male Voice Choir in the semis.

Shall we go and chat then....

Did you all enjoy that?

Feckin Rubbish Your Holiness

TING


TING

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:...............

Too bluddy late with your ting ting now, missus.

Sorry I was tied up :naughty:

Ungratefull ******s.

I thought it was wonderful, your supreme dogliness

I was wonderful, wasn't I?

You might have been good..but I was the best.

But not as good as I was! :wink_kiss

I had to play your bleedin triangle while you went off and fed your face!

I needed some protein! Still my ting ting at the end was far superior to anything that went on before :wink_kiss

Wow, looks like I've missed all the fun in here tonight:w00t:

I have filled the tea urn and put the coffee on in readiness for any early risers. Cleared up last nights mess, you girls just drop food everywhere.
Maz goes off for a tinkle on Cat's piano and finds the keys very sticky. she must have been dribbling a lot in here last night

Sorry Maz, I think that might have been me. I was very excited. :blush:

I'll throw these french windows open - brought some SW sunshine with me. Mmmmm, coffee. Can I get you one?

Just popped in for a quick brew...did I leave my Wimple in here, you had it on last dab?

Just popped in for a quick brew...did I leave my Wimple in here?

Oh was that yours? I borrowed it last night - I'll get it dry cleaned and bring it back tomorrow if that's OK?


Gherkin, anyone?

Erm.......... don't think that's a gherkin SF. There was a fight in here last week and apparently someone lost a finger.

Oh was that yours? I borrowed it last night - I'll get it dry cleaned and bring it back tomorrow if that's OK?


Gherkin, anyone?


Thats ok...as long as I have it back by next weekend as Patsy is coming to stay and she likes a blessing.

Do they have gherkins in Chicargo Swerve?

Patsy...you were a maestro on the tambourine last night.

I'd love a coffee please, any chance of a bagel as well?

I've put a load of washing on the line, another load in the machine and now wondering what this day will bring?

Do they have gherkins in Chicargo Swerve?


It's a Mecca for gherkin lovers - sometimes they give you a gherkin even if you haven't asked for one! It's also great if you like luncheon meat - I got some of that on a stick in my Bloody Mary.

A large vodka and diet coke for me please!

It's a Mecca for gherkin lovers - sometimes they give you a gherkin even if you haven't asked for one! It's also great if you like luncheon meat - I got some of that on a stick in my Bloody Mary.

NO!!

What on earth did you do...what was your reaction, your facial contortion...did your wife scream?

Come on..expand.

A large vodka and diet coke for me please!

I'll get that ilsy wills....already on my 3rd can...been a back breaking day in the garden....don't think I'm going to last very long tonight.

I'll get that ilsy wills....already on my 3rd can...been a back breaking day in the garden....don't think I'm going to last very long tonight.

Thanks Catster, I really need it after my marathon clean of my new bathroom! Oh what bliss it is to be able to have a shower again!

Free drinks all round cos I'm feeling flush tonight! :drinking:

A treble vodka and diet coke for me please Coastie... :wine:

Have you won the lottery or something? :wink_kiss

No I am just taking this virtual worl thing to seriously for my own good at the moment! :wallbash:

ADVANCE WARNING!

The next S.O. Idol comp will be taking place Sunday 26th - midnight Wednesday 29th June.....

Start seeking out your new talent now and writing your original works for them to perform!

:wink2:

In the meantime :wine: :beer: all round!

Oooh Beer for me please Coastie.

And I must make an effort this time with the Idol competition:smartie:

:beer: here ya go hun!

I'll have beer with you Andrea! Coastie 2 beers and whatever are you having!

Cheers big ears:thumbsup:

:beer: for the ladies and I'll have....eeew sorry just found a pair of PJ's crusty pants under the counter...eeew...erm back in a bit! :blush:

:beer: for the ladies and I'll have....eeew sorry just found a pair of PJ's crusty pants under the counter...eeew...erm back in a bit! :blush:
Thank you, I've been looking for those everywhere! I knew I could smell them somewhere in here. Now give them to me - and get me a whiskey and coke.

No PJ, No :shocking:

Don't put them on :shocking:

*Secrets wakes up and looks around in astonishment!*

Where are my trousers! How long have i been on the floor?
Aww my head hurts - Mrs Secrets will kill me!!

ADVANCE WARNING!

The next S.O. Idol comp will be taking place Sunday 26th - midnight Wednesday 29th June.....

Start seeking out your new talent now and writing your original works for them to perform!

:wink2:

In the meantime :wine: :beer: all round!

Ooooh gooody - I'll be back by then :laugh:
(makes mental note not to mention tune this time ;) )

Ooooh gooody - I'll be back by then :laugh:
(makes mental note not to mention tune this time ;) )

Original artists
Original song

Go Critique...I have a great faith in your abilities! :wink2:

*Secrets wakes up and looks around in astonishment!*

Where are my trousers! How long have i been on the floor?
Aww my head hurts - Mrs Secrets will kill me!!


It's okay Secrets...you've only been passed out for a few days this time.....I'll write you a note to say you were kidnapped by drug dealers and held hostage in the old factory until you were able to escape through the back door and down the sewage pipe!

That will explain your abscence and that smell! :sick:

2 large mugs of tea please Jose!


I see Buzz is in the house and I know how she likes a good hot mug of tea first thing in the morning!

Oooo thaks Ils, very kind. I am just going to go and jump in the shower to see if it will stop me coughing and spluttering!!

I shall take my tea with me...see you soon. :bye:

Crikey, this bar opens early or were you all still here from the night before. Sounds like Secrets was!

I don't care what it is, but make it strong.



(male and strong even better)

You called nox?

Get me a pint and Im all yours.

I'll have a vodka and coke ... I'm celebrating with some very clever friends tonight who have passed their exams!


http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_22_13.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYAXGB) http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/13/13_4_1v.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYAXGB)

I think we should have a party!


Beers all around :beer:

Free drinks to all those who have passed exams...not wind thogh...those who poot shall be paying to day!

I am a graduate from the School of Life and have a cork up my bottom. Do I qualify?

I am a graduate from the School of Life and have a cork up my bottom. Do I qualify?

No...in fact for the cheek of trying you shall have to pay double tonight! :mad2:

By the way...your bum looks big in that! :w00t:

You can talk!


http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y61/Patsy271/bigbum.jpg

Ooo lovely the patio doors are open. A pint of your coldest draft lager please, Julio. Would anyone else care to join me? Anything happening in here tonight?

Large white wine please bar person for a large white lady!!
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/7/7_4_14.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZSYYYYYYAXGB)

Voddie and diet coke for me please, lots of ice but hold the lemon!

I'll get that ils. Make it a double Julio, she's got the constitution of an ox, apparently. :bag:

Ice cold beer for me please.......blimey it's muggy today. I don't like it!!

How is everyone??

Much the same as you, by the sound of it Buzzy. It's my round. Today's about as hot as I can take it before I start getting grumpy, or drunk, whatever comes first.

Ice cold beer for me please.......blimey it's muggy today. I don't like it!!

How is everyone??

very well my lovely! yes it is muggy ... I feel like I'm in a Tennesee Williams play!

Right, sod the patio doors being open, get the sprinklers on too......

edited to ask: does anyone else get itchy eardrums when its muggy??

Only if you promise not to strip down to your undies again! :sick:

Oooh -something long andcold please Patsy :beer:

Im hotandstickyanddirty. Why don't department stores have air-con?

No I shall not prance around in my undies.....



I shall go stark bollock naked

Oooh -something long andcold please Patsy :beer:

Im hotandstickyanddirty. Why don't department stores have air-con?

John Lewis does. I bought one! An investment, Mr P calls it. I make him right if the summer continues this way. Working in the bedroom as we speak. Tequila and Sprite for me sweaty friend please, Julio.


I shall go stark bollock naked
Class, pure class.

I am to please patsy, I aim to please....... :w00t:

Thanks Patsy - I needed that after an afternoon of suffocating in changing rooms, inhaling other people's sweat and ended up buying nothing :sad:

God, what on earth is that pink wobbly thing jumping up and down in the corner :ohmy:

God, what on earth is that pink wobbly thing jumping up and down in the corner :ohmy:


Buzz would like to point out that she has been applying fake tan for a couple of weeks now so is not pink and wobbly, but a lovely shade of brown and wobbly
I Thank You

The bit I can see is very pink and wobbly!!

Suggests Buzz does not remain seated when applying fake tan...

:blush: Sorry. I was hot. Couldn't resist it. Sorry.

Would get coat if had one.

The bit I can see is very pink and wobbly!!

Suggests Buzz does not remain seated when applying fake tan...
Buzz would like to politely enquire if Fee is casting aspersions about the size and texture of her buttocks?

Buzz would like to politely enquire if Fee is casting aspersions about the size and texture of her buttocks?

Ah, so that's what they are! If I may ask an equally polite question - do you know they quiver when you are cross?

Ah, so that's what they are! If I may ask an equally polite question - do you know they quiver when you are cross?
I know they quiver when they get upset by people insulting them. Is this the same?? :cry:

Evening ladies! A long G&T with ice and slice, please, and whatever these lovelies are having.

Hey, Buzz! How you doin? :naughty:

Put it this way Buzz - just be glad they are behind you. I had a nasty shock in a mirrored changing room today:blink:

note to self: do not drink guiness on an empty stomach....it makes me take my clothes off.

OH DEAR LORD A BEER FOR ME PLEASE!!!

I am piggin pooped, hope I can stay up long enough to watch the eviction...very nervous I can tell you. Really want Sam to go...infact more than is normal really....its given me the trots I'm so nervous.

BEER!

OH DEAR LORD A BEER FOR ME PLEASE!!!

I am piggin pooped, hope I can stay up long enough to watch the eviction...very nervous I can tell you. Really want Sam to go...infact more than is normal really....its given me the trots I'm so nervous.

BEER!
How lovely to see you cat :wacko:

Heres your beer, get it down your neck theres another on the way...

Cheers ..had that...and that...another please Jose!

NOW!

Buzz worries if cat continues to drink like this she will take her clothes off!

Buzz worries if cat continues to drink like this she will take her clothes off!

I never, ever take my clothes off no matter how drunk I am. Do lots of other things...just not that.

Another please.
x

I never, ever take my clothes off no matter how drunk I am. Do lots of other things...just not that.

Another please.
x
Well in that case...here you go......

Buzz was only concerned that cat would upstage her

Thanks Patsy - I needed that after an afternoon of suffocating in changing rooms, inhaling other people's sweat and ended up buying nothing :sad:




Did you try Meads? I am sure they would have something suitable :ninja:

You're a genius ils :thumbsup:

:laugh:

They have a peach outfit in the window, which is very you! :ninja:

Does it have floating chiffon panels and a matching jacket? I need to be really smart.

Does it have floating chiffon panels and a matching jacket? I need to be really smart.

It does, did you see it? I think they must have made it with you in mind :ninja:

Lovely chilled white wine for me please....infact give me a bottle...anyone care to share with me?

Jose...swing open those pation doors, let the summer breeze waft about me.

I see you're holding a rough Bulgarian there Cat. Shall I leave you two to it?

Well shall I?

He's not piggin Bulgarian, he is from Holland! TSK.

Just get another bottle of wine and come and join us...we are only demonstrating in a physical manner how Hitler invaded Poland.

Was that a frontal invasion or did he slip in via the back door? Oh goodness ... I can see now.

barperson - a Hoegaarden please, and one for Dutch Danny over there for when he's done.

See it's quite obvious now where the weakness lay isn't it.

More wine. :wine:

A bottle of bud for me please! It is such a beautiful day I think I will sit out on the patio, anyone want to join me?

I think Cat might want to, judging by her flushed face she might need a bit of air. Gherkin Pringle, anyone?

A bottle of bud for me please! It is such a beautiful day I think I will sit out on the patio, anyone want to join me?

Oh yes please ils...come on pull your chair over...we make quite a nice party...me you, swerve and the well 'Ung (said in Roberto stylee mode) young man from Holland who has been demonstrating is battle manouvers. (sp).

Thats a nice top you have on.

Gherkin Pringle, anyone?

Thanks but no thanks SF, I going to stick with nuts today :D


Another bud out here please Jose, that one didn't touch the sides, and another of what my dear friends are having!

I'm glad you like it, it is from Meads a local shop that Fee introduced me to, she buys all her clothes there :ninja:

Another bud out here please Jose, that one didn't touch the sides, and another of what my dear friends are having!
Oh dinnae mind if I do dear ils! Whiskey and coke please.

anyone fancy a game of bar billiards?

Go on then...just get me another drink first...

Swerve I like your white cheese cloth trousers.

anyone fancy a game of bar billiards?

No, Cat. Play pool with him. He will have no idea. :ninja: :wink2:

Evening everyone. A large Pimms & Lemonade for me, I think. Whose round?

Go on then...just get me another drink first...

Swerve I like your white cheese cloth trousers.

OK - another bottle of wine for Cat please.

Glad you like the trousers! Theyre my favourite pair next to my plus fours.

Let's play bar billiards! Are you going to put the money in?

See that? Mention money and she legs it!

Oh dinnae mind if I do dear ils! Whiskey and coke please.


Coming up PJ, now tell me all about your trip........

Coming up PJ, now tell me all about your trip........
Well, it all begins on friday evening....
I shall start a thread laster detailing whereabouts im going...you know, just to make everyone jealous and stuff.

Now keep those whiskeys coming!

See that? Mention money and she legs it!

Funny. It's usually the money that attracts her.

See that? Mention money and she legs it!

I didn't leg it you Brother Hood of Man look a like ee. I am bathing the grass stained, coloured in (self abuse with felt tip pens) Fredmeister. Then I think I am going to bed because I am ****ed.

Bye bye.
x

Well I'm breaking the habit of 3 months and having a beer on a monday evening. A few things have bought me to this state.

- Coming home and being greeted by 2 huge dollops of dog poo in the front room
- The Meister dismantelling all the outside pipes and posting most of our cutlery through the hole.
- The Meister posting his cars in the other wise empty bin that only contains 2 huge dollops of dog poo.
- The Meister cutting his foot in the garden whilst I was mid pee on the toilet and ending up self splashed as rushed to his aid.

So I don't care.

I think you deserve a beer Cat, let me get it for you! I will join you, I have no reason except I want to! 2 beers over here Jose :beer:

I think you deserve a beer Cat, let me get it for you! I will join you, I have no reason except I want to! 2 beers over here Jose :beer:

Oh thankyou my buxom friend.

I am feeling a lot calmer now thankyou...calmed and ready for my curry soon :cool:

Jug of Pimms only 2 SOMS today! :wine:

That's a bargain! I'll have 3 jugs if they are that cheap!

Anyone want a glass?

ooooh lovely juggly Coasters....just what the de stressy doctor ordered...I shall have 6000 jugs if you please.

My son and I just arn't bonding at the moment...since we have been home he has dismantled my wonderfull drain cover contraption (obviously not anti meister as had hoped) and posted an assortment of wild plastic animals (african jungle) down there and when my back was turned after I had made him his tea he gave it to Bazeeeeeeeeeeel. Bazeeeeel therefore got the chocolate much to Freddies horror - serves him right.

Who would like to share my jugs with me?

Yes please, Cat. Never tried Pimms - how many jugs would you recommend I start with?

Evening Dabster....have 50 and see how you get on with them.

Not a real favourite drink of mine really, always thought it tasted a bit like diluted jelly. But after a few the bits of cucumber etc keep the munchies at bay and delay the kebab rush.

Evening all......large cold beer please...I like pimms, but not tonight...

How are we all? Everybody happy??

Evening Dabster....have 50 and see how you get on with them.

Not a real favourite drink of mine really, always thought it tasted a bit like diluted jelly. But after a few the bits of cucumber etc keep the munchies at bay and delay the kebab rush.

Kebabs LOL..
You should have strawberrys and cream with Pimms, sitting in the garden and pretend you're at Wimbledon for the tennis.

Thanks Cat. Fifty it is, then. Anything to postpone the kebab rush...

Hiya Buzz! Yes, happy happy happy, thanks. You?

Hi everyone :bye:


I'll have a drop of your pimms please Cat. I hadn't had any before this lunch time and as no one wanted to join me I drunk all 3 jugs! And very nice it was too!

You should have strawberrys and cream with Pimms, sitting in the garden and pretend you're at Wimbledon for the tennis.

You have the right idea Ghost, come and sit over here with me and I will share my strawberries and cream with you :wink2:

Here you go ils, have 50 jugs to be going on with....Ghost would you like a dozen or so?

Evening Buzz, how was work today dear?

Here you go ils, have 50 jugs to be going on with....Ghost would you like a dozen or so?

Evening Buzz, how was work today dear?
Evening Cat.....work was delightful...one child screamed, another slpit his lip and the rest were in the paddling pool in the garden all day,. one teacher was late and one was moaning all day.
Great day!!!

You have the right idea Ghost, come and sit over here with me and I will share my strawberries and cream with you :wink2:

Watch her ghost, she has no shame and is very demonstrative. Stand up for yourself and say NO when it starts to feel uncomfortable.

We will be over here keeping and eye so dont' be afraid.

Yes please Cat. Just what I could do with right now, a nice Pimms. Complete with ice and cucumber of course.

*ils whispers to Ghost* It's that Cat you have to watch, you ask poor PJ, the poor young lad....

*ils whispers to Ghost* It's that Cat you have to watch, you ask poor PJ, the poor young lad....

The poor lad my ****, I offered to cool it whilst he was away...but oh no, he was having non of it...so there

The poor lad my ****, I offered to cool it whilst he was away...but oh no, he was having non of it...so there

If you say so, my little floosy :wink2:

If you say so, my little floosy :wink2:
Its the truth..and you can't handle the truth

random question....does the UK have good beers? As I am from Wisconsin, USA...where there seems to be a brewery in every town...I am sure gonna miss my beer when I'm in the UK if it is not tasty.

random question....does the UK have good beers? As I am from Wisconsin, USA...where there seems to be a brewery in every town...I am sure gonna miss my beer when I'm in the UK if it is not tasty.
ARE YOU AVIN A LARF! Of course we do - you will probably find it much stronger though. But don't worry, I shall be there to pick you up in Dublin.

Fancy a few dozen jugs of pimms? Thats a nice t shirt you have on Islandman...I like the way you have torn it to expose as much of your tanned, youth like, musclular torso without it totally falling off you. Very clever.

Its the truth..and you can't handle the truth


I think Coastie must have sprinked her 'planet coastie' dust on you whilst you were sleeping! :laugh:

I think Coastie must have sprinked her 'planet coastie' dust on you whilst you were sleeping! :laugh:

:offtopic:

ARE YOU AVIN A LARF! Of course we do - you will probably find it much stronger though. But don't worry, I shall be there to pick you up in Dublin.

Fancy a few dozen jugs of pimms? Thats a nice t shirt you have on Islandman...I like the way you have torn it to expose as much of your tanned, youth like, musclular torso without it totally falling off you. Very clever.

well i'm glad you like my shirt...anything to please my fellow bar-goers. :pimp:

Alcohol and a semi-clad youth will do it every time. :devil:

I popped in to see Cat and Patsy but I can see they're preoccupied with Islandman's vest. I dunno. the other day it was that bloke from Holland, now it's the Wisconsin Kid. What is it with you two?

Wheres he gone...what have you done with him Patsy..I was doing fine untill you came along.



ISLANDMAN...Wo sind se.........

See what I mean?


... and now they're all private messaging like it's going out of fashion. I'm off to the Frog and Firkin for a gin and milk.

Forget about him Cat. What is THIS vision I see before me? Very short shorts, very long socks. Must be SF. How are you this beautiful eve, oh tanned and leathery one?

D'you like them Patsy? They're called Lederhosen, I bought them from a very exclusive shop in Vienna. THey're made of calf leather, very supple. Feel?

D'you like them Patsy? They're called Lederhosen, I bought them from a very exclusive shop in Vienna. THey're made of calf leather, very supple. Feel?

ooooh you don't feel a good Lederhosen Swerve...you give it a ...

SLAP
and again

SLAP

Have a go Patsy..it stings....but it's good.

**stroke, squeeze, squeak**

I love them. Do they come in any colour other than coral?

I'm quite liking the Coral Patsy...anything goes with long white socks dosn't it?

Ooh, I ... yes Patsy! It was a choice between ... bloody hell Cat! ... Coral or Tan and I Ooooohh gerroffff no don't ... thought Coral because of my love of ...oh yes ... pastel! Stop it Cat. No, dont!

Not very masculine, though, is it? Mind you, the pipe and DMs do help to quash THAT rumour.

Hang on while I adjust myself. Do you mind if I scratch?

Who?... :unsure:

Hang on while I adjust myself. Do you mind if I scratch?


oh no please don't, I like a man who can use a whisk.

I'm so sorry, it's these underpants. You see where theyr'e hanging down below the shorts? My mum knitted them because she thought my asthma might trouble me if I go out in the evening air. Trouble is they itch like buggery.

Hmmm. Didn't realise buggery itched. Is that the only side effect?

I popped in to see Cat and Patsy but I can see they're preoccupied with Islandman's vest. I dunno. the other day it was that bloke from Holland, now it's the Wisconsin Kid. What is it with you two?

Now now Cat and Patsy...who is this guy from Holland now? Sheesh...you two go through men like you go thru underwear...I run to the bathroom for a second (which I must say are filthy, who is the janitor in this place?!?), and I am already replaced. :blink:

Hmmm. Didn't realise buggery itched. Is that the only side effect?

oh yes..the anus is renound for being the most itch muscle you have.