What could you forgive? A one night stand? A longer term betryal? Cyber relationships? Do you believe that there are degrees of being unfaithful or is any form unforgiveable?

I don't think I could forgive Miss PJ if she cheated on me or vice versa if I cheated on her. It would be such a blow to our relationship since we trust each other implicitly.
However if she had a cyber-relationship I think I may just laugh at her.

I don't know if I could forgive any infidelity, but really I have no idea how I would react if I found a partner was cheating on me as, as far as I know I have never been cheated on. Once the trust has gone - do you have anything left? I don't know.

As for the degrees of unfaithfulness I would put long term betrayal at number 1, a cyber relationship at 2 and a one night stand at 3. with one being the most difficult to forgive.

I think it depends on the person, some people can forgive easily than others, it depends what they've done, for how long and how hurtful i suppose, Cut their ball-s off i say!:w00t: nah just kidding.

Could someone define a cyber-relationship?

I think options ought to include if you have children or not.

If not, a one night stand would spell disaster...if a set of childs lives were due to be affected then I would strive harder to get over it.

As Tigger states above a cyber relationship needs to be defined more clearly.........possibly if it stays cyber, whats the problem....if it spills into real life it stops being cyber and becomes a one night stand or long term.

Actually having children my husband would have to commit near death before I upset their lives because I was upset about something he did to me. It really annoys me that couples give up so quickly and think about 'their' needs. When you have children you become second best....in the words of the mighty Saskia...END OF!.

I was engaged to a man who was unfaithful to me. I found it quite a relief as it gave me a bloody good excuse to get rid of him! (although I have to admit I was unfaithful first ... well second ... probably third ... ok I was unfaithful a few times ... but in my defence he only knew about the first one!)

I myself have also been unfaithful to men I've been with, and usually it means you don't want to be in that relationship ... or it did for me.

It they are unfaithful and it hurts you ... cut 'em loose!

If you can live with it and not throw it back in their faces then pucker up and play the game.

It is a difficult call, but I do think I could forgive a one night stand if I loved the man, or even a longer term affair if I felt the relationship was worth salvaging or I'd invested a lot of years, children and property in it. It is very very hard to start again when you've invested a lot in a relationshiop and you musn't let stubbornness or other people's opinions make your mind up for you.

As for cyber relationships ... the old question ... what are these? are they a few saucy pm's from Groucho or full on gropings from a real life person? When you actually meet the person face to face do they stop being cyber?

I myself have also been unfaithful to men I've been with, and usually it means you don't want to be in that relationship ... or it did for me.

It they are unfaithful and it hurts you ... cut 'em loose

It they are unfaithful and it hurts you ... cut 'em loose

I think I'd be more worried if they were unfaithful and it didn't hurt, to be honest.

Actually having children my husband would have to commit near death before I upset their lives because I was upset about something he did to me. It really annoys me that couples give up so quickly and think about 'their' needs. When you have children you become second best....in the words of the mighty Saskia...END OF!.

Having Kids myself, i agree with your views and think they are spot on.:thumbsup:

Do lusty thoughts count as being unfaithful ? If so, i have been unfaithful many times :unsure:

Do lusty thoughts count as being unfaithful ?
I hope not :unsure:

I hope not :unsure:
Me too PJ, me too :mellow:

I think I'd be more worried if they were unfaithful and it didn't hurt, to be honest.

oops. that was a quote from dol that I forgot to add to. sorry dol/floop

I haven't to my knowledge had anyone be unfaithful to me and I have never been unfatithful. I have had lustful thoughts for someone else and have flirted but never over stepped the mark.

I do think that unless you are in the situation of dealing with infidelity you really don't know how you would handle it. It would depend on your feelings for the person who has been unfaithful. If for instance the relationship is at a bit of a stalemate, then that could be the reason for him/her the affair, one-night stand etc.

There is no doubt the effects would be devestating and I do think there is a huge difference between a one-night stand and a full-blown affair. It would have to involve an awful lot of soul-searching to see if I wanted to carry on with relationship or not.

I have had friends who have been cheated on and as some have said once the trust has gone, they suspect everytime their partner goes out, everytime they get a text and if you have decided to make another go of it, you have to try and build up that trust again and accept that the affair/one-night stand was a mistake and you really have to move on. If you are going to continually live in the suspicious bubble and question every move your partner moves then I do think that it would be easier to split up.

My ex husband was unfaithful but by the time I found out about it, he had left & it didn't have the same impact it would have had had we still been together. I don't know if we'd have stayed together had I known earlier.

If Dave was unfaithfuly, I have no idea how I'd react. I'd be hurt, that's a given but there is more than just my feelings to consider in our family & I don't know if I could deprive our daughter of her day to day life with her father because I felt betrayed.

I have to say that one night stand, cyber or full blown affair, I would consider any as being unfaithful.

I think that when you've been betrayed in a big way there is really no way you can ever go back, no matter how hard you try, to the solid base you had with anyone.

all you can do is use it as knowledge gained.

Anyone can be forgiven and should be forgiven. often unfaithfullness is directly related to the other partners behavoir. Accept and understand it and move on to a better place. Saying that you would "never" forgive is just being fearful.

[quote=IsLe Of WeAtHeR]Anyone can be forgiven and should be forgiven. often unfaithfullness is directly related to the other partners behavoir. quote]




huh? Are you saying that if one partner has an affair it's often the other partner's fault?

but if 'anyone can be forgiven', why did they [the cheater] not forgive the other partners 'behaviour' instead of committing adultery as an answer?

[quote=IsLe Of WeAtHeR]Anyone can be forgiven and should be forgiven. often unfaithfullness is directly related to the other partners behavoir. quote]
huh? Are you saying that if one partner has an affair it's often the other partner's fault?

but if 'anyone can be forgiven', why did they [the cheater] not forgive the other partners 'behaviour' instead of committing adultery as an answer?

fault is the wrong word, contributing factor is better.

often the partners 'behaviour' is forgiven time and time again but if it is continuous and over time...

hmmm. just don't think that having an affair is a justified response to your partners recurring bad behaviour.

I don't think there is ever an "excuse", but maybe there are contributing factors. It wouldn't necessarily involve bad behaviour, per se, but certainly a breakdown of a relationship in one way or another could lead to one or both parties seeking comfort elsewhere.