So, half an hour after my son had gone out with his friend John yesterday afternoon, the doorbell rings and I open the door to 2 policeman and a woman. The woman is John's mum and says that John has left her a note saying he's run away and do I know where they are.

Not being the sharpest tools in the box the boys had told me they were going back to school for band practice. I phoned my son and that's where they were. So off the police and John's mum go to the school.

In the meantime I phone Michael to ask him what's going on. Apparently John got a detention and was too cared to tell his mum because she hits him. My son has told me before that she hits him - punches him in the face.

When the police dropped my son off I told one of them that the reason John had run away was because his mum hits him.

Anyway, that was my dilemma - to tell or not to tell. I just thought if somehting awful happened to John and I hadn't said anything I would feel really guilty. But now I'm worried that I've started something and my son is angry with me for telling the police.

Oooh Max, difficult one. Have you any proof that John gets punched in the face, does he have bruises? You really only have John's word that this happens, I am not saying that maybe it doesn't happen but he could also be making up it to get sympathy.

I am not sure that I would have said anything to the police andyou should be prepared for John's mum coming round to ask you why you said what you did to the police.

You were really caught between a rock & hard place as you wanted John to be safe but he must have done something wrong to get detention, and yes maybe he was scared to tell his mum as she probably would want to know why and would have been angry with him.

I hope everything works out ok for you.

Very tough and awkward situation for you Max. There is obviously something going on there. I think you did the right thing Max. Sometimes you will never ever get proof if a child is being hit. If he is being hit then you can be thankful that you may have taken steps to get the family the help they need.

I think you did the right thing Max. If his Mum does come round all guns blazing about you telling the Police, the answer to her is simple. She needs to sit down and talk to her son and find out why he is telling people that she hits him. If it not true, then it will be a valuable lesson for her to teach him the consequences of crying wolf, if it is true then you may have stopped a situation escalating into something far more serious.

Hard call to make, but well done you.

I'm hoping that the mum won't actually be told what I said.

My son certainly believes his friend, but he asked me not to tell anyone and I did.

I thought it was quite odd how quickly she phoned the police. OK, he left a note but she found it within half an hour. I think I would've been more inclined to phone round his friends. Not that that has anything to do with the issue of telling or not telling.

Surely it`s best to say something even if you are proved wrong. If anything did/does happen at least you have let people know what you know. Hopefully the police will say what his reason was and mother and son can sort things out.

I'm hoping that the mum won't actually be told what I said.

My son certainly believes his friend, but he asked me not to tell anyone and I did.

I thought it was quite odd how quickly she phoned the police. OK, he left a note but she found it within half an hour. I think I would've been more inclined to phone round his friends. Not that that has anything to do with the issue of telling or not telling.

Max, I am sure the police will do everything in their power to be discreet.

I am bit surprised that the police came so quickly, it makes you wonder if they have been in contact with this family on a previous occassion.

And there are times when you are told things that you just have take to action upon them.

You did the right thing, imo.
And dinnae worry - I doubt that the police will tell this woman that you told them she hits her son. If they did they would be very unprofessional indeed.

Well done Maxine - I think it was brave of you to tell the police.....I think too many people in your situation would have kept quiet for the sake of an easy life.

I also doubt very much the the police will tell the mother what you said.

Tough call, Max.

I would say you did the right thing cos you acted on instinct ... and sometimes that's all you've got to go on.

I'm not sure how seriously the police would take this "allegation" and if they would investigate it at all, tbh. (no intention to slag off the police here) I just think it wouldn't register on their crime-0-meter ... of course you could always your live-in expert how seriously they would treat this.

Also if you have real concerns it might be aswell to speak to some professionals, such as the school (do they have a school-home link worker) you could be filling in a missing part of something here for them.

Max I concur that you did the right thing. If something bad happened and you hadn't told, you'd been beside yourself...if you're anything like me!! Your son will get over being mad at you and you can just try to explain that if John's mom is that mean and abusive to him he NEEDS someone to help him or he could be in a seriously bad situation. My hat's off to you.

Max - you did the right thing. As far as the mother is concerned the Police should be discrete about wher eth report came from and trusting that you don't live next door to her or anything she will be left to think it could have been one of her neighbours, a teacher at the school or any number of people.

You have done th right thing and now it is down to the Police to liaise with Social services etc. to investigate the matter. They should certainly look to interview John. Handled correctly this shouldn't raise to much angst in the mother as they can say that they just want to know why he ran away so they can assess the risk of him doing so again in the future etc.

Well done you Max for speaking up...:thumbsup:

actually the more I've thought about this the more i want to go round and punch her in the face! (and I'm not a violent person!!)

Sometimes you have to just go with your instincts and do what you feel is the right thing. It obviously bears looking into and hopefully the police will do that in a sensitive manner. Too many people will shirk the reponsibilty so good on you I am sure your son will eventually understand why you did it.

Okay...read Dols post and then Mazzas straight after and well...is it me or could Mazza be misinterpreted and seen to be encouraging Dol to go and punch the other mother!...:unsure:

Well, the boy didn't come to school yesterday. My son phoned him and he's staying at his gran's. Apparently his mum said it has all given her a big kick up the **** and she realised she has been very intolerant lately. I don't think it was really serious violence but probably a bit more than the odd smack. He told my son that the police asked him if he wanted to tell them anything and he said no but they did have a quick look around the house.

My son keeps calling me a traitor, but only in a loving, jokey sort of way.:unsure: I asked him if he was planning on running away and he said, why, he's got nothing to run away from. So, at least he's happy!

Anyway, I don't think me saying anything did any harm or had any effect really, as, presumably, his mum would've realised he was unhappy just from his actions and the police being involved was her doing and nothing to do with how she felt ultimately.