Do you worry about getting old ? Maybe becoming a little senile or perhaps having altzeimers ?

The only reason i ask is that i watched a programme last night called 'Stairway to Heaven'. At least i think thats what it was called. This week C4 has shown a host of programmes dedicated to the old. I saw two. The one last night, and 'Adopt a Grandad'.

Both of them made me think.

The guy in 'Adopt a Grandad' was 85 and he was all alone. He lived in Essex and he had many friends, but he went home to an empy house in the evening. He moved in with another family for a week to see if they wanted to adopt one another. Unfortunately it didnt work out.

The guy in 'Stairway to Heaven' was in his 80s and luckily he had a son who lived close by and could care for him. But he had Altzeimers, and was confused a lot of the time. His relationship with his son wasnt great as he admitted he had been a bad father to him a lot of the time. The son wanted to put him in a home, but the father wanted to stay in his home. It was a tricky situation and caused many disputes.

So do you think about old age ? Do you expect / hope your kids will always live nearby and be able to pop in, or maybe look after you ? Does it worry you at all ?

One of the drawbacks of not having kids is not having anyone to look out for you in your dotage, not that having them guarantees it either!

I try not to think about it much to be honest. It scares the bejaysus out of me!





Note: must be nicer to neices and nephew......


.

I do think about it a lot as I don't think our children will be as concerned with us as old people as we are with our parents.

At the moment I am looking for a home for MIL as the one she wants to go to only take those that have no money and she has a house to sell. Over the years I have cared for mum and dad until they passed away and for the last 10 years MIL.

Watching them lose their dignity and facing giving up their homes is heartbreaking so I hope I depart this life long before that happens to me.

You see thats what i think TE. I know you shouldnt expect your offspring to look after you - but hopefully they would call you occasionally and check your ok.

We havent any kids .... so will anyone give a flying **** about me ?

I do occasionally think about being alone. Mr.B is older than me, and he has a heart condition. I hope to god he is alive and kicking into his 90's, but even if he is, i will only be 76 and hopefully still going strong.

But what if i got ill, what would happen to me ? I had an awful thought recently that i could die - and noone would find me for months. I know - im sick, but it did cross my mind.

My husband's convinced he'll be pushing me round in a wheel chair one day because I do very little exercise. Oh how I'll laugh when its me pushing him around.:laugh: :huh:

I worry about my parents and in laws getting older more at the moment. Luckily both sets have got family near by. But I do worry that Dolores will end up taking most of the strain in the future where our parents are concerned.

Bons you're only a chizzler, and you'll only heighten your blood pressure thinking like that!!

You can never guarantee that you'll have friends or rellies around at any given time, no-one can, but you could do a few practical steps to ensure your comfort and lifestyle - insurance policies, pensions, small investments etc. - now while you're young.

you'll need a few bob for your half of that villa in portugal that we're both retiring to!!

you'll need a few bob for your half of that villa in portugal that we're both retiring to!!

True enough - although if we both sell our houses we should be able to do that anyway :w00t: We could be permanently p*ssed and drink ourselves to death.

I mentioned this subject in the pub once when we were all having a deep and meaningful conversation (as you do after a few bevvies) and when i said i hoped someone would notice if they hadnt seen me for days about 5 of them said they definately would - and they would text / ring / pop over to check i was ok. Which is kinda nice.

I can see me hobbling into that pub when im 80, sat with all my mates getting slozzled on jack daniels.

But I do worry that Dolores will end up taking most of the strain in the future where our parents are concerned.
I'd be more worried about your parents! :bag: only joking Dolly bird.....

Neither of my parents lived to see 60, and neither did Mr FFA's father.

We are going to be so cross (and poor) if we buck the trend :ninja:

I'd be more worried about your parents! :bag: only joking Dolly bird.....

lmao!! you are right to worry about them!!

How d'ya think I feel - already 62 with only 1 son who is more dependant than dependable and not even a daughter-in-law in sight cos both his ex's probably blame me for the way he is :cry:

I was lucky that my mum and stepdad were fairly independant but I did my share of running them to hospital appointments and doctors, etc. when they were in their 70s. When mum had her stroke I battled to get her into a nursing home and when step-dad became frail and unstable I did the same for him (and it's no joke, as Maz says).

Mr. C is 5 years younger than me but he's already had a heart attack, is diabetic and smokes :( I think that cancels out the difference in our ages.

How depressing. I'd rather not think about it really. Like everyone else, I just hope I go before I get to be a burden on anyone.

Like everyone else, I just hope I go before I get to be a burden on anyone.

You've been a burden on me lately Crit and it doesn't seem to have bothered you!

You've been a burden on me lately Crit and it doesn't seem to have bothered you!

I meant to people I like, moron!! The others can fek off!!!

I try not to think about getting older never mind reaching old age. I am aware of certain changes though now, I've started pulling out grey hairs, most of them short but there is the occassional long one and I wonder how I managed to let it get that long, how did I miss it? I have been trying to convince myself to seek some advice from a hairdresser on hair dyes, but I'm equally cautious in case she suggests chopping it all off.

I suppose a lot of people would say to me isn't it time you got your hair cut now and given a shorter style. So I panic because doing that when I've had long hair most of my life, I think would be a kind of acceptance that here I am getting older. The thing is I am nearly always surrounded by confident people telling me how much I suit my hair long, and how youthful I still look.

I have a man in my life who is younger than me, and I'm puzzled why he should want to be with a woman some 12 years his senior. I worry about 10 years time, 20 years time will I be as fit as I am today. I am not keen on the idea of exercise routines or dieting even though I know both would do me a wonder of good. The latter for a pleasantly plump individual does not guarantee maintaining a youthful face or body. Skin will age irrespective of what I do.

I had a conversation with Mr M in the early stages of our relationship on the subject of age and getting old and he seemed to think it was only a problem as long as you allowed it to be. He has also vowed to turn himself into an ogre of a personal trainer if I let myself slip.

Live for today and hope tomorrow takes care of itself.

Maureen
Northern angel.

I meant to people I like, moron!! The others can fek off!!!

That picture of the Japs is still rankling - go on, admit it.

That picture of the Japs is still rankling - go on, admit it.

The picture? Naaah, I'd forgotten all about it but continual off topic snidey remarks tend to pi$$ me off.

It's sad when every time I go to post something I have to examine it for things that you can latch onto and misinterpret to suit yourself. Half the time I hit the delete button and don't bother. I missed that one - didn't see it coming. I must be slipping. Probably because I thought that on a serious subject that affects us all you would be able to resist the urge to turn it into something trivial for the sake of a cheap laugh. Silly me.

OK - I didn't realise I was such a problem for you. Shame, because we got on well at one time - clearly something, or someone, put the kybosh on that.

I have absolutely no intention that you should have to worry about me replying to your every post - so I'll give you a wide berth from now on, that way you can forget about it.

Mo - I hope this doesnt come across as patronising, but i think your post on here is the best one you have written.

I wouldn't worry about your long hair, if people have said it suits you - stick with it. Dont cut it off because a stereotype of older people is to have short grey hair. I too have long hair, and mine wont be going anywhere.

I too think about my skin aging, but the amount of lotions and potions and expense i slap on my face will (hopefully) help. My mum gave me my first moisturiser when i was about 9 years old. It was one she had bought for herself and it was too 'light' for her. I have used moisturiser morning and night ever since - in the battle to keep lines at bay. I have succeeded so far, but i know one day i will look in the mirror and see the first signs of aging.

That picture of the Japs is still rankling - go on, admit it.

lmao! Old age hasn't affected your memory has it SF!!! Are you going to throw it up everytime that Crit says something you perceive to be "anti-SF"? And is crit the only one one list of "will mention the jap picture from time to time just to annoy"?

lmao! Old age hasn't affected your memory has it SF!!! Are you going to throw it up everytime that Crit says something you perceive to be "anti-SF"? And is crit the only one one list of "will mention the jap picture from time to time just to annoy"?

Crit isn't anti-SF, she just thinks she is, it's a form of mild dementia, nothing too serious. Also, I'm hoping mentioning the Japs will annoy you too Dol.

Crit isn't anti-SF, she just thinks she is, it's a form of mild dementia, nothing too serious. Also, I'm hoping mentioning the Japs will annoy you too Dol.

ahh I see ... annoying by proxy.

sorry love it didn't annoy me then and it doesn't annoy me now, heck it didn't even amuse me! baffled is a better word ...but that could be due to my old age ... lots of things baffle me these days!

Mo - I hope this doesnt come across as patronising, but i think your post on here is the best one you have written.

I wouldn't worry about your long hair, if people have said it suits you - stick with it. Dont cut it off because a stereotype of older people is to have short grey hair. I too have long hair, and mine wont be going anywhere.

I too think about my skin aging, but the amount of lotions and potions and expense i slap on my face will (hopefully) help. My mum gave me my first moisturiser when i was about 9 years old. It was one she had bought for herself and it was too 'light' for her. I have used moisturiser morning and night ever since - in the battle to keep lines at bay. I have succeeded so far, but i know one day i will look in the mirror and see the first signs of aging.

Thank you Bonsai,

Another angle the cost of trying to give the appearance of being young whilst the body the ages. The BBC last year did a programme along the lines of, So how old do you think you are or How old do you think you look? It was a light hearted look at lifestyles and how they affect your appearance and how you age. It did make me sit up a bit, as my final figures from working my way through all the questions, actually had me older than 43, according to them my lifestyle meant that I was 46, Mr M was spot on.

Since then Mr M and I, spend as much time in the country as opposed to the city. The Caravan season started a few weeks ago and on a Tuesday evening we go to it, in addition to the weekends. We have been cross country running and walking he reckons this is far healthier than sitting in the house. Having a few beers after that or a glass or two of wine with our meal is deserved then. We have also both started cooking more as opposed to microwave dinners or take away meals. Before getting to the caravan yesterday I was trudging around Bolam Lakes in the mud. I will start to worry if he suggests going combat style or any other outdoor pursuit.

Today, on our return journey home I observed a woman with grey hair very neatly tied back in a kind of decorative scrunchie and it looked absolutely lovely, she was probably of retirement years but her face didn't show it at all. She was line free. Her skin had a sheen about it that looked natural. In fact Mr M told me older woman who look after themselves are very attractive. Maybe by being kinder to our ourselves, and spending some time on using up our energy, in addition to what we eat, is the answer to 'holding back the years'.

Tonight however, I feel tired physically - yet I have done the preparation for making a large pan of homemade vegetable soup and that is cooking as I type. I am also cooking a ham in the pressure cooker which will switch itself off soon. Because I am tired, I feel 90.

Does anyone else feel older by more than half there age when tired?

Maureen
Northern angel.

I do think about it a lot as I don't think our children will be as concerned with us as old people as we are with our parents.

At the moment I am looking for a home for MIL as the one she wants to go to only take those that have no money and she has a house to sell. Over the years I have cared for mum and dad until they passed away and for the last 10 years MIL.

Watching them lose their dignity and facing giving up their homes is heartbreaking so I hope I depart this life long before that happens to me.

Hello Mazwad,

You know nothing shakes my cage more than this issue because Ive seen it happen and been party to it happening a few times already. Selling off the family home to pay for care. This issue is a truly haunting one. Your family or parents have slogged there guts out to support themselves and one day they hope that what they have will go to there offspring. What happens it doesn't, crazy isn't it? I do know the bigger issue is, 'who should pay for it'?, should care costs come from the NHS which is currently behind schedules for urgent ops, has too many staffing and admin problems, and some hospitals on the verge of bankruptcy? My god what an issue?

There was a programme on either last week or the week before looking into the enormity of selling the homes of the elderly to pay for care whilst at the same time community based care homes are closing. Places are not being lost here because people have died, but rather because closures have taken up beds. In the thread I'd started some time ago about a 95 year old, I had only just cleared her flat. A year earlier we, the family that is, all thought we were losing her, as she became extremely ill after a fall, and needed medical care.

The debate rages that people who have medical needs i,e nursing care as a component essential to health and staying alive should not have to sell there homes. Care thus being the responsibility of the NHS where an individual has a proven medical need. For those who are frail and cannot cope very well, should relatives desire a home placement they are left with no other alternative but to sell.

It might pay you to clarify this need before taking any impulsive actions or showing a remote willingness to sell up.

Maureen
Northern angel.
Makes my blood boil....:ranting: