I caught a brief item on last night's news.

It seems that we as a nation are overall much less happy than we were 50 years ago, despite being three times wealthier.

The implication was, if I got the message right, that not only does increased wealth not make you happier, it might make you less happy.

Four things were identified as bringing more happiness, and more money was not among them.

Marriage.

Old-fashioned as it might sound, it was suggested that people in a stable marriage tend to be happier than unmarried people.

Religion.

Again this surprised me, but the point being made was that it brought about a sense of community and belonging, with shared (non materialistic) values.

Holiday.

Going away together on holiday helps happiness...

Vountary Work.

..as does giving your time to help others without financial reward.


There you have it. Do you agree with those four suggestions, do you think that the more material things you have the less happy you become, is there anything else important for a feeling of well being or happiness?

That's interesting......the 4 things listed are all very important to me.

The most important things in my life are my religion and my relationship - I am very secure in both and they both make me very happy.

Holidays have always been important to me, I put a lot of effort into planning holidays and I enjoy looking forward to them almost as much as I enjoy the holiday itself. For me it's quality time with my partner without outside interuptions where we can just enjoy each others company without the usual day to day stresses of work, bills, family and everyday life.

Then there is the work I do for the charity that I'm involved in......I put a lot of time and effort into it, but the rewards I get far outweigh what I am able to do for them.

I am happier now than I have been at any other time in my life, and that is due largely to the 4 things listed above.

I'm lucky that at the moment I have enough money to be able to do the things that I want to do.......if I had less money I wouldn't be able to take the holidays I want or do some of the chartiy work I do - so I'm pretty sure having less money would impact my life negatively............but I don't know if more money would make me happier. More money would allow me to have more holidays, but then, if holidays weren't such a treat I might not get the same enjoyment out of them.........

It's a tough one - I need to think about this some more...

Well I consider myself to be a quite a happy person and I don`t let things get to me and can just brush things off quite easy.

The marriage and family thing I consider to be important and do feel happy and secure when all together.

I have no thoughts at all really on Religion and to be honest it`s never really featured in my life.

Holidays I do look forward to throughout the year as I see it as a time for everyone to connect with each other rather than sitting in front of a computer or tv screen and it`s a time to talk and relax.

Have never done any work for a charity but have helped people out from time to time.

I caught a brief item on last night's news.

It seems that we as a nation are overall much less happy than we were 50 years ago, despite being three times wealthier.

The implication was, if I got the message right, that not only does increased wealth not make you happier, it might make you less happy.

Four things were identified as bringing more happiness, and more money was not among them.

Marriage.

Old-fashioned as it might sound, it was suggested that people in a stable marriage tend to be happier than unmarried people.

Religion.

Again this surprised me, but the point being made was that it brought about a sense of community and belonging, with shared (non materialistic) values.

Holiday.

Going away together on holiday helps happiness...

Vountary Work.

..as does giving your time to help others without financial reward.


There you have it. Do you agree with those four suggestions, do you think that the more material things you have the less happy you become, is there anything else important for a feeling of well being or happiness?
Do you reckon maybe that people naturally disposed to be happy are also more likely to be disposed to successful marriage, religion and charity? In other words, a "happy" mind is the cause, not the result?

Do you reckon maybe that people naturally disposed to be happy are also more likely to be disposed to successful marriage, religion and charity?

No. They might just as well be disposed to spreading their joy through multiple affairs, their buoyancy might give them confidence to experiment with Satanism, and they might be so popular in the workplace that they rise to the top, and happily work such long hours that they only have enough spare time to use it blowing their fistfuls of dosh (in between indiscriminate shagging).





.

No. They might just as well be disposed to spreading their joy through multiple affairs, their buoyancy might give them confidence to experiment with Satanism, and they might be so popular in the workplace that they rise to the top, and happily work such long hours that they only have enough spare time to use it blowing their fistfuls of dosh (in between indiscriminate shagging).

:ohmy: Talking about anyone in particular there, SF?

I agree with Mikado again (becoming a habit this).

Happiness comes from positivity. I like to think of it this way "every day, you have a 100 units of energy to burn. Worry about the past, burns some of those units; worry about the future, burns some of those units; get stressed about the traffic, survivor online, the planet, whatever, more units burned. Once that is all over, you have the remaining units to devote to positive things in life, be it family, or whatever you choose". The more units applied to the positive side, the happier you are.

I am a firm believer that we create everything in our lives. Much of it is perception. I am pretty good now at seeing a drama taking off and just not contributing to it any more: decision. I can create by getting involved in the drama, it is a choice; energy units used.

There are two areas where my philosophy don't work:

1) Bad luck. It can happen. I had a deformed baby that died. I cannot see any way that I contributed to that happening or created it. Just bad luck.

2) Money. It is utility theory. If you are poor and starving, and seeing your child hungry, money becomes the most important thing in the world. I cannot see any way out of that misery - you can be positive, but your child is hungry and suffering. So the money angle is more at the point where basic needs are met (food, warmth, shelter), and what happens next. When it gets to the point of what brand of car you drive, then it becomes a mental thing, not a physical thing.

eg, if you can afford a Ferrari (I can), why have one instead of a Toyota Corolla (what I drive). The Toyota meets all my needs. I can spend my time not worrying about what car I drive and focus more on the positive things in life. Money DOES create happiness, but as soon as basic needs are met, you need to control IT, not IT control you.

Good thread! Making me think.

No. They might just as well be disposed to spreading their joy through multiple affairs, their buoyancy might give them confidence to experiment with Satanism, and they might be so popular in the workplace that they rise to the top, and happily work such long hours that they only have enough spare time to use it blowing their fistfuls of dosh (in between indiscriminate shagging).





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Disagree. If you are happy in an affair why take on another there is no need; when you are confident in yourself you don't need to follow others leads; contentment in the work place is just that...if rising to the top it fits in with this fine, you wouldn't continue if it started to discontent.

Disagree. If you are happy in an affair why take on another there is no need; when you are confident in yourself you don't need to follow others leads; contentment in the work place is just that...if rising to the top it fits in with this fine, you wouldn't continue if it started to discontent.

I was being a bit sarky with my answer Cat - and Mik's post deserved more. He's raised the question of whether happiness comes from what you do, or whether some people are predisposed to be more happy than others.

I have no idea myself - and wonder if there's been any study of that aspect of it - but the thingthat springs to mind is that old question of whether our characters are a result of nature or nurture - and for me it's a bit of both.

Happiness though - is that the same thing? when the weather is fine people seem to be happier, that suggests to me that happiness surely comes from without - Mik would you suggest that it works the other way and that sunny weather happens because people are feeling happier that day?

I think the old leaning boy has made the best point so far though. I really do think if you are that way inclined (happy) that things will turn out better for you.

Its not to do with expectations or rewards, its being able to see a situation and pull from it what you can. Take my mum for example. Her altzeimers and what it has done to her and dad and their situation now has given me a pain I have never experienced before, it is out of my control and I can't put it right and that is horrid. However, she has given me (and the rest of my family) the most funniest bizzare moments that I will treasure for ever - mum is still there in her wittiest and clever self and I rejoice that we still get a glimpse of it now and again. This makes me happy.

See?

I have abundant happiness most of the time. I feel if I not finding the miniscule positivity in something that I can fall into the depths of self-wallowing pity-party me attitude. I'm not wealthy and don't really care to be. I would only like to be able to pay my bills the minute they came in, have enough grocery money, have enough to get the kids a treat from time to time...really simple things. I live in an older house, drive 8-10 year old cars, and buy most of my clothes and shoes on clearance (but that's MY hang-up, not a money one). I think you just have to find a bit of happiness each day. I clown with my colleagues and parents at work. I joke with the children in my class. I tease and play with my youngest son a lot and he recipricates in kind...he's very witty! I think you have to be naturally happy or try to strive to be happy. I know of people that will never find happiness in anything...my step-father-in-law is one. He has more money than he knows what to do with, he has a mansion, all kinds of vehicles and tractors and 4-wheelers, goes on trips all the time...but he's an rear-end and a very spiteful, vitriolic man. He will die cranky. And I will be waving 'bye "Penishead"...:thumbsup:

Just wondering now - how do you know when you're happy?

What I mean is - is it a definite feeling you get at certain times, and when you get it you think 'I'm happy'?

Or is it simply an absence of feeling unhappy?

I think there are different degrees/types of happiness. People can be happy with their lives but it`s a different type of happiness when you hear some good news. You can be happy with the money you have but I am sure if you won the lottery that degree of happiness could shoot up.

I can`t say I feel happy all the time but I am content and is contentness a form of happiness?

They might just as well be disposed to spreading their joy through multiple affairs, their buoyancy might give them confidence to experiment with Satanism
Don't you believe it. Those satanists might look happy, with all their indiscriminate shagging, but they're crying on the inside ;)

I reckon that I can see a link between being generally positive and being married. A miseryguts is less likely to get married, and even if married then more likely to get divorced, removing them from the "married" pool. The others are more tenuous, but I wonder if there's a mindset that makes people more likely to be into religion, and if that mindset is linked to the "positive" mindset.

I sometimes think I've been pretty lucky in life - luckier than I deserve. Now I've no way of weighing up all the luck I've really had, so I don't really know if I've genuinely been lucky or whether it's just a sign of a positive mind. And even then I don't know if my mind is positive because I'm currently comfortably settled, or whether my mind is somehow wired to be positive. It's all too confusing! Sure, my being lucky/happy/positive isn't going to make the sun shine today, but maybe it makes me take more from the sun than I might from the rain, and make me remember the sunny days better than the thundery ones.

I agree with Mikado again (becoming a habit this).
I disagree! We disagreed about the Lees too. So there :P

I agree with everything else you wrote tho'. Drat!

I disagree! We disagreed about the Lees too. So there :P

I agree with everything else you wrote tho'. Drat!

Oh thats right Mik, you were wrong about the Lees, so your not perfect! (hehe, just "creating").

I spent a few years arguing with he-who-must-obey about Happiness vs Contentment. I want to be content, he wants to be happy, at the end of the day we decided it was the same thing really and we were just exploring the definition of a word. I think we decided contentment implies less volatility, a steady state (cat sleeping), whereas happiness was closer to elation, a higher peak. Whatever.

Then I was thinking today what are the "necessities" to be happy. Thats where we all differ and I realise I might just be a lot more fickle than I give myself debit for. If I had to live with the bare necessities (what are they?!), I would struggle not to become discontent. Theres another word, drat, off to the thinking room again.

Just wondering now - how do you know when you're happy?

What I mean is - is it a definite feeling you get at certain times, and when you get it you think 'I'm happy'?

Or is it simply an absence of feeling unhappy?

Good point tall man. I have days when I feel so exstatic that I could burst, the next day I dont' feel the same. Nothing has changed, any niggles/worries/stresses are still there, the same on both days; just one day they don't matter and the other they do. So maybe happiness is a state of the mind.

I think too like in life you have an inbox in your mind of troubles and are continually organising priority and worrying most about what happens to be on the top of the pile.

For example, a minor error at work has been playing on your mind - if you wake up at night it keeps you awake. The next day a family member falls seriously ill....the minor work error disappears from your mind. A week later family member is safe and sound, worry over. Back comes the minor error at work to play on your mind and take pole position in your worry tray and keep you awake at night. The two problems are polls apart in importance but what ever is top of the pile no matter how trivial is the one that keeps you awake.

Happiness can be sorting out these niggling things I supppose......untill the next one comes.

I think happiness is more a perception than a state of mind. A friend of mine is one of the most buoyant and bubbly people I know (and happy marriage etc etc). When she hits a bad patch, her attitude is to shrug it of as just a blip in her happiness. She expects happiness as the norm.

Now, I'm the opposite - I know that good times are just the lull before the inevitable storm, so I live in angst most of the time, and probably don't enjoy the present as much as I should.

But, measure for measure, we probably - at the moment - have the same amount of happiness/sadness in our lives - we just see it from different angles. Where we do differ is in the security of the childhoods we had - I had a bizarre, unstable childhood, while she was very nurtured.

Like Phillip Larkin said, 'They ****** you up, your parents'

Memo to swear filter - that's literature, that is!

Mr FFA is the same as me, so it's probably just as well we found each other :laugh:

I think it is also a feeling you have or don't. I am generally a very happy person. I laugh a lot and find a lot of things funny; but its more than that, most comedians are manic depressives - John Clease, Spike Milligan for 2.

I say I'm a very happy person but I do have my moments, but I just dont' seem to have as many others and when I am feeling down I can put it into perspective and justify it by equating tiredness, mood, time of the month, stress load of work, college etc. It just can't be helped sometimes.

However...i still wake up worrying.

Like we all wear/ suit different clothes, colours...we all suit and take on different moods.

I caught a brief item on last night's news.

It seems that we as a nation are overall much less happy than we were 50 years ago, despite being three times wealthier.

The implication was, if I got the message right, that not only does increased wealth not make you happier, it might make you less happy.

Four things were identified as bringing more happiness, and more money was not among them.


(*)I have often heard it said that people were happier when they had less, worked hard for what little they had and then shared it. Today we have a problem in trying to control spending, we are bigger consumers than we have ever been at any other point in our history. A weekly shopping list for a family of say 4 ,100 years ago is very different - to the one we'd have today. We are also more insular and demonstrative on certain subjects ,say;- crime in the community, or mortgage interest rates, tax; as naturally we have more to lose.

Marriage.

Old-fashioned as it might sound, it was suggested that people in a stable marriage tend to be happier than unmarried people.

(*)I'm not so sure, I'd accept this one, as most of my friends are married, seperated, divorced. The statistics for divorce is one of two ending in divorce with a possibility of one in three remarrying.

Religion.

Again this surprised me, but the point being made was that it brought about a sense of community and belonging, with shared (non materialistic) values.

(*)Although, I am not particularly religious - I do have a belief. I would also say I believe this one to be true. People who have a sense of unity and strength from a shared experience do seem to be very happy within themselves and as a group. Some so much so they have to share it, wth the non committed.

Holiday.

Going away together on holiday helps happiness...

(*)Ooh sticky wicket this one. I enjoy what I do so much, that sometimes I view the idea of having a holiday from it as stressful. Once on holiday the definition of how I aim to enjoy it, could well be different to someone elses. I,e sitting in a pub and getting legless is not my view of a good holiday or a happy holiday.

Vountary Work.

..as does giving your time to help others without financial reward.

(*)I think a certain amount of this does you good, especially if it is in situtions where people are anything but happy.

There you have it. Do you agree with those four suggestions, do you think that the more material things you have the less happy you become, is there anything else important for a feeling of well being or happiness?

(**)I think the news programme, you have watching survivorfan has been a good one. Thought provoking. The topics raised are somewhat suggestive of the past, nostalgia the good old days. In puting in my odd comment one has to be very wary of the myth's surrounding such ideas. There is also a situation of happiness that can be described as a mental state, you can be predisposed to having a happy dispostition, some would say happy in ones ignorance.

Here's a little Northern poem/song about coping systems, financial hardship, social circumstances. Was happiness a myth of a bygone era?

There was Mrs Broon she set uo a gob, an a asked her what she ment,
She'd asked to borrow half a croon, to help to pay the rent,
But what'ere she borrows she never pays back, so folks always sad,
the dirty looking good for nowts the neighbours doon belaw

She borrows the onions leeks and peas, what'ere she borrows te boil,
She borrows a happni candle when she got ne parafin oil,
But what'ere she borrows she never pays back, so folks is always sad,
the drty looking good for nowts the neighbours doon belaw.

Maureen
Northern angel.:bye:

I think happiness is more a perception than a state of mind.
Now, I'm the opposite - I know that good times are just the lull before the inevitable storm, so I live in angst most of the time, and probably don't enjoy the present as much as I should.

But, measure for measure, we probably - at the moment - have the same amount of happiness/sadness in our lives - we just see it from different angles. Where we do differ is in the security of the childhoods we had - I had a bizarre, unstable childhood, while she was very nurtured.

Like Phillip Larkin said, 'They ****** you up, your parents'



I agree with Fee b/c I had a very unstable and crazy childhood and I still have hang ups b/c of it. I try to start out a happy person each day and whether I'm fakin' it or being truly happy, I tell my children I love them and joke with them and hope they have a good day and do all the things I never had said/done to/for me. I think I have my humor b/c I really had nothing else. And I want to be happy, it's just sometimes I'm sarcasticly funny vs. happy funny. I am a HORRIBLE worrier so I have to keep my mind on things to deflect this...it's part of my OCD, the worrying. People are always saying that I'm all smiles and jokes and if I look the least bit down or cross, they start asking what I'm upset about.
I guess it's a state of mind, whether consious or unconsious and the opposite of feeling like your world will explode any minute. If this makes any sense, bless ya!!:laugh:

I have called this mindset but in reality it is clinical pyscology.

Happiness is recognised as such in relation to the apparent absence of unhappiness.

Happiness can be measured like thread determining the difference from unhappiness. Neutral line Chart below.

I know you are looking at those two sentences and you are thinking this is gogbledegook.

The happy medium is that point they cross over between how negative and inhibitive or deep seated any pyscological issues are for us , and how positive and hyper exhibitive we can be in the denial of any existence of pyscological issues.

People who suffer from depression fall below the neutral line, I will try and draw it..

Any where in this quarter, you have Positive exhibitionist traits and
an inclination to being melancholic. a tendency to being optimistic.
Happy memories are always sad. So much to do so little time.
Writers fall into this quarter easily. Thespians, Singers, Musicians...
Louisa May Alcott.Little Women. Johnathan Ross TV presenter.
4.

3.

2.

1.

Neutral line -5, -4, -3, -2, -1, 0, +1, +2, +3, +4, +5, Neutral line

-1.

-2.

-3.

-4.
Fred West, Spike Milligan, Bruno.
Criminal minds. Abusers etc. Intelligent action hard to fullfill,
Psychotic and totally Insane. Darkside of comedy/Insanity.

Any where in these two quarters you will need help, the left quarter could be someone psycotic and seriously depressed to the point of being a danger to yourself and others, whilst the right means you glow with exhibitonist tendencies and have an inclination to being overdramatic, at times self efacing.

Maureen
Northern angel.
Something won't allow this, So if you can imagine a cross next time I register I'll try scanning a graph for you.

I take a lovely medication called Cymbalta that helps me stay neutral (most of the time) and I think melancholy thoughts sometimes, but not for long, and I have raging, screaming fits once or twice a month but I think that's normal for me. If I feel the need to kill someone, it usually passes within a decent period of time. I blame my parents for a lot of things but then through the lovely science of psychotherapy I know they did the best they could do with thier coping skills. I know I control my happiness, my OCD and anxiety (through medication and skills I learned from therapy), I control my rage by letting it out and getting over it, I don't kill or hurt people b/c I know that's wrong. People back in the day didn't have the medicines and professionals we have today and that's why a lot of them drank theirselves to death, commited suicide, became hermits, etc. It's that we are all different and have differnt levels of 'happiness' and as long as you are satisfied with your level, it's all good!

maybe someone can find a suitable answer here (http://worlddatabaseofhappiness.eur.nl/)on one of these sites...

I take a lovely medication called Cymbalta that helps me stay neutral (most of the time) and I think melancholy thoughts sometimes, but not for long, and I have raging, screaming fits once or twice a month but I think that's normal for me. If I feel the need to kill someone, it usually passes within a decent period of time. I blame my parents for a lot of things but then through the lovely science of psychotherapy I know they did the best they could do with thier coping skills. I know I control my happiness, my OCD and anxiety (through medication and skills I learned from therapy), I control my rage by letting it out and getting over it, I don't kill or hurt people b/c I know that's wrong. People back in the day didn't have the medicines and professionals we have today and that's why a lot of them drank theirselves to death, commited suicide, became hermits, etc. It's that we are all different and have differnt levels of 'happiness' and as long as you are satisfied with your level, it's all good!

Hello msgirl,

Oh love this little post. Most of the time I am neutral too. I have not had any need to shout at anyone for a long time. Although, I have a way about me that is suggestive.

For example, someone wants advice , wondering why they haven't got a job in music teaching say or as part of a travelling stage crew. They have been tentative about applying but still don't understand why they haven't got a job. Likely suggestion from me would be, 'well get out of bed, get on the phone, ask for an interview, an application form and send it back ASAP. No luck, keep trying at least half a dozen a week until something turns up. Still no luck after 2 months, lets have a look at your CV, and your covering letter. It's not up to date, no wonder you haven't got the job, lets' review it, start targetting employers without waiting for the adverts for staff to appear. Lets get you on a bank or two, agencies etc + specialised agents. More jobs are gained via speculative approaches than those advertised.

I don't know whether I blame my parents sometimes, myself or tradition and what society expects of me in my natural role as a woman. I can be seriously reflective and melancholic, but one good thing about today is that you won't get sectioned to an institution.Or ordered to spend your days in solitude. Like Louisa May Alcott.

Would love to have a singing practice now, but neighbours might complain at this hour. I'm happy with myself, and happy with my man. As I have the freedom to do as I want. Good luck with your day care work.

Maureen
Northern angel.

There is no Community spirit around anymore is there? Sad, not like years ago when everybody would pitch in to help each other, and i think there is a lot more stress on people these days, there is more pollution, nobody had heard of bird flu, mad cow disease, aids, and also have you noticed that it seems the norm for people to swear where-ever they are?
I was in the library yesterday and these school girls were F' ing this and F' ing that, i had to tell them to watch their mouths as i had my 7 year old with me, i hate it, call me old fashioned but it's so vulgar and common when your out in public.

There is no Community spirit around anymore is there? Sad, not like years ago when everybody would pitch in to help each other, and i think there is a lot more stress on people these days, there is more pollution, nobody had heard of bird flu, mad cow disease, aids, and also have you noticed that it seems the norm for people to swear where-ever they are?
I was in the library yesterday and these school girls were F' ing this and F' ing that, i had to tell them to watch their mouths as i had my 7 year old with me, i hate it, call me old fashioned but it's so vulgar and common when your out in public.

Right on Sister Bridge...I hold doors for MEN and WOMEN and if someone asks me in the store if I know where so&so is, I try to help. I take food to my neighbors and colleagues and friends when there is death and/or sickness. I send extra things to school for parties b/c I know a child or two won't have brought anything, I pick up litter if I stumble upon it...I don't expect anything for this, I just do it. I feel that people should try and be courteous in their daily lives, PMS weeks are sometimes an exception:blush: (j/k). Of course, I find people aren't always returning in kind but hey, I believe in random acts of kindness and I'll get a kindness at some point...:thumbsup:

To add on:

I think that your own happiness is as personal as your own humour.

It can't be simplified.

Each of us have our own unique equation.

Cat, that was a very lovely and thought provoking statement!! Seriously!! I couldn't agree more. Good thinking Missus!!:wink_kiss