When is a penalty a penalty? (a.k.a. 'what should warrant a spot-kick?')

Penalties are given for anything these days! From now on penalties have to be completely warranted, in the strictest sense of the word. No more claims just because a ball struck a hand (as opposed to a hand striking the ball with intent).

Overprotected Goalkeepers

A goalkeeper is just another player on the pitch - he's not footballing royalty. So why are they protected as such? If an outfield player makes a genuine challenge for the ball, the referee should be finding no reason to blow for an offence. Play should continue as normal until the goalkeeper either has possesion of the ball or has been genuinely fouled.

Diving, Rolling, and Card-calling

Any player caught diving shall be deducted 50% of his next wage. But he shall also be forced to sit out 15 minutes of the match he has comitted the offence in. If the player is deemed to have dived in the last 10 minutes of any game (between 80-90 minutes)then he shall be forced to sit out the remainder of the game, but will also not be eligible to take part in the first half of his team's next match.

If a player rolls along the ground, then that should indicate he is severely injured and therefore, the referee should order the player to leave the pitch for a ten minute recovery period. Alternatively, the referee can issue the player's manager with the option of making an immediate substitution. If the player returns after ten minutes he will be docked 25% of his next wage.

Any players found attempting to urge the referee to make decisions (card-calling for opposition players, etc.) shall themselves instantly receive the very card they were calling for the opposition player to receive. This action shall also result in a 25% docking of his next wage.

Dangerous Play

These days we see very little of the wonderful scissor-kicks regularly practised by players like Mark Hughes (Manchester United/Wales) and Hugo Sanchez (Real Madrid/Mexico) in the '80s. This is because officials are overly fussy about dangerous play and players are now discouraged from trying such things.

You can't book someone for an action that might have been dangerous. However, if a player accidentally catches an opposition player in the head while attempting a scissor-kick or something similar, then of course, a free-kick should be awarded. But where there is no malicious intent, no card should be issued, and where there is no contact, then it should be regarded as a valid passage of play free from punishment.

Access to Instant Replays for Match Officials

Referees should be handed carte blanche to review any passage of play in which they were uncertain about making a decision. This could be done by a fourth official who can then relay the correct call on to the match referee, who shall act accordingly. Or it may be conducted by the referee himself.

With this method of decision-making fully implemented at all Premiership grounds and all Premier Leagues across the continent/world then all of the above problems can be addressed effectively. The only real problem that reamins would be that the tv studio pundits would have little to gnaw over at the half-time interval...

Hansen would become obsolete. But hey...it's well worth the sacrifice!

With this method of decision-making fully implemented at all Premiership grounds and all Premier Leagues across the continent/world then all of the above problems can be addressed effectively. The only real problem that reamins would be that the tv studio pundits would have little to gnaw over at the half-time interval...

Hansen would become obsolete. But hey...it's well worth the sacrifice!








And football league grounds, we may not be as rich as the big boys, but technology isn't beyond us either! There are many important decisions to be made in the lower divisions too!

I certainly agree with players asking for cards for opposition players to be carded themselves. It is a referee's job to make a decision about wether he thinks a player deserves a card or not, that's exactly what he is there for, and he can make up his own mind! There is absolutely no situation in which a player should try to influence a referee's decision in the extent that some players do. If you don't like a decision, tough sh!t, that's what football's about, we wouldn't love it if everything went our own way! If the referee is in any doubt then he can either consult his linesmen (assistant referees) or just say 'didn't see it, play on.'

Diving too ruins the game, and since money is the only language most players speak, then fines should be handed out. There should be a panel that views every game and if anyone is considered guilty of diving they should be docked wages and banned for a game!

Went to see Man U vs Barnet in the Carling Cup 3rd round last year, keeper got sent off (rightfully so) in the 2nd minute, nice to know some refs don't just stick up for the underdogs :D

Hansen would become obsolete. But hey...it's well worth the sacrifice
Obvious solution would be to make Hansen the Fourth Official. That way, instead of getting some dull message flashed up on the scoreboard, like "GOAL" or "FOUL" you'd get a bit of commentary too: "THAT WAS DIABOLICAL DEFENDING THE CENTRE BACKS WERE WAY OUT OF POSITION AND THE LEFT BACK WAS PLAYING EVERYONE ONSIDE OH DEARIE ME WHAT WAS SMITH THINKING OF WHEN HE MADE THAT TACKLE YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP ON YOUR FEET IN THE PENALTY BOX..." etc etc etc.

I think your proposal to make the referee run around the pitch with a television under his arm is a little harsh. Especially if he had to hold the arial up with his free hand. Some might call that bringing the game into disrepute. And what if it turned out he was watching one of the other channels?

And football league grounds, we may not be as rich as the big boys, but technology isn't beyond us either! There are many important decisions to be made in the lower divisions too!

Went to see Man U vs Barnet in the Carling Cup 3rd round last year, keeper got sent off (rightfully so) in the 2nd minute, nice to know some refs don't just stick up for the underdogs :D

Absolutely the lower divisions too.

I thought that sending off was a bit harsh by the way...but then again, that's only 'cos of the underdog factor - had it been Chelsea or Arsenal we were playing then i'd have been clapping Cudicini or Almunia all the way to the sideline...:applause:...i wouldn't really - that would just be loutish behaviour!:ohmy:

Obvious solution would be to make Hansen the Fourth Official. DIABOLICAL DEFENDING YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP ON YOUR FEET IN THE PENALTY BOX...

I think your proposal to make the referee run around the pitch with a television under his arm is a little harsh. Especially if he had to hold the arial up with his free hand.

Well, what's the alternative Mik??...having the visual apparatus on the the sidelines???:ohmy:

By the way, your Hansen-speak was spot-on. However, just one little fault, and that was with your "GOT TO"

...Hansen always always says "GOTTY"

"GOTTY STAY ON YOUR FEET..."

"GOTTY HOLD THE LINE..."

"GOTTY GET TIGHT ON YOUR MAN..."

:yahoo: :yahoo:"GOTTY":yahoo: :yahoo:

To be honest I thought your proposal to fine players that feign injury was a little weak. My solution is to give the player the injury whose symptoms he's feigning.

Thus: if Thierry Henry drops to the floor clutching his face... send on Vinny Jones to punch his nose in. If Christiano Ronaldo sprawls around clutching his shin... send on Roy Keane to do the job properly.

I quite like Alan Hansen :)

To be honest I thought your proposal to fine players that feign injury was a little weak. My solution is to give the player the injury whose symptoms he's feigning.

Thus: if Thierry Henry drops to the floor clutching his face... send on Vinny Jones to punch his nose in. If Christiano Ronaldo sprawls around clutching his shin... send on Roy Keane to do the job properly.



I like it!...one notoriously bad actor giving another a good going over - it has possibilities...

But leave Thierry alone!...even i'm a fan.

If they need to be carried off, make them miss the next game. Simple.

It was funny in the play-off semi this year, Richard Cresswell (playing for Leeds against Preston who he was playing for at the start of the season) came on as a sub with about 20 minutes to go and in the 96th minute (of 97) kicked the ball away in an effort to waste time, despite the fact there was no chance Preston could claw back 2 goals in that final minute. He recieved a second yellow card for this pathetic behaviour and had to sit out the final. HA! Serves him right, always thought he was a bit of a tw@t anyway!

I think the most ridiculous suspension during the World Cup was that involving Louis Saha in France's semi-final with Portugal. The challenge he made must have been somewhere in the centre circle and he just went in with a real gung-ho tackle.

Considering he's a striker it makes it all the more ridiculous, as he could easily have let the player pass by and left Clude Makelele or another defensive-minded teammate deal with the situation.

As a result, he missed out on an opportunity to play in a World Cup final...but he didn't appear to be all that bothered to be frank.

C'est la vie i suppose.:mellow:

Zinedine Zidane today received his punishment as a result of his World Cup final misdemeanor against Marco Materazzi - it turns out that all Materazzi said to Zidane was "you and i both have the same number of 'Z's in both our Christian and Surnames", which is fairly harmless really.

Anyway, Zidane has been handed a £3,260 fine (this means he only has to dip into the pockets of his Levis), and also a 3-game ban...er...errr...

Hang on...three match ban...:unsure:...Zidane has retired...:unsure:...something's not quite adding up here...

Ladies and gents...FIFA!! :applause:

That's another improvement needed in football. Each match to be scrutinised by a team of elite lipreaders so that foul and abusive players can be hauled up before the Star Chamber afterwards.