I spent the best part of this afternoon phoning in my 27 entries for the Daily Telegraph Fantasy Football. That alone confirms my madness.

But, sometime during the tenth or eleventh phone call, I placed my receiver down temporarily so that i could take in some liquid refreshment, while the female automoton (...still has a sexy voice though) on the other end of the line waffled on about nothing of any real interest...

In the very same manoeuvre that i placed the telephone down with the left hand, i picked up a small bottle of Lucozade with my right, which then proceeded to pass it over to my left.

Then my left hand, for some strange reason, raised the Lucozade bottle to my left ear as though it was pre-empting that i might be wanting to use it to continue listening to the automoton...:unsure:

Meanwhile, the glass into which i poured the Lucozade before i even began with this phone call, was still patiently waiting to serve its purpose. I had of course intended to put down the phone, pick up the glass and drink the golden liquid that was inside of it.

Now why i picked up the bottle, and furthermore why i then placed it to my ear, i have absolutely no idea, but the whole incident has left me believing that i may finally be going cuckoo...:wacko:

To reassure me, i hope you might be able to:

(a) confirm for me that i am not going cuckoo...

...or explain that...

(b) yes, i definitely am going cuckoo but you yourself have done something very similar and therefore i am not alone...:hug:

It may just be this hot weather that's cooking my brain cells...:sun:

Woody are you absolutely sure it was lucozade you were drinking, not gin and tonic or something?

Now i have had my suspicions about you going cuckoo for quite some time , i actually think you are completely bonkers, and mistaking your ear for your mouth confirms my suspicions.

I think you would benefit greatly from a stay at the loony bin my ole codge.

Yours in sympathy Bridge x :wink2:

can't wait for woodys reponse snigger

well it's coming very soon...:angry:

Woody are you absolutely sure it was lucozade you were drinking, not gin and tonic or something?

Now i have had my suspicions about you going cuckoo for quite some time , i actually think you are completely bonkers, and mistaking your ear for your mouth confirms my suspicions.

I think you would benefit greatly from a stay at the loony bin my ole codge.

Yours in sympathy Bridge x :wink2:

If that's sympathy then i'd dread to be on the receiving end of your mercilessness...but i tend to agree.

If i start drinking from the telephone i'll give said loony bin a call...using my Lucozade bottle, of course.:wacko:

Oh Woody, it is the heat.

Do you win anything from this fantasy football thing, because 27 calls sounds a lot? Are you addicted?

I like prize crosswords, I never win many but I do get the final answer to them. I did win a 1,000 pounds a few weeks ago though so my hollies spendy money is all covered.

The best of luck with your footy.

My daft thing is filing the kettle, preparing my mug for tea than going to sit down and read the paper, and then I wonder what's wrong with the kettle. Only to discover I'd never switched it on. I've done this with guests in the house aswell, but we can at least have a laugh, or complain about the service.

Maureen
Northern angel.:wink2:

Oh Woody, it is the heat.

Do you win anything from this fantasy football thing, because 27 calls sounds a lot? Are you addicted?

My daft thing is filing the kettle, preparing my mug for tea than going to sit down and read the paper, and then I wonder what's wrong with the kettle. Only to discover I'd never switched it on. I've done this with guests in the house aswell, but we can at least have a laugh, or complain about the service.

Maureen
Northern angel.:wink2:

That's what i thought too...yep, it has to be the heat!

And unfortunately yes, i am addicted - terribly so! I start off by making a promise to myself that i'll only submit ten entries...maximum!

And then all the variables begin shouting out "me!, me!, me!" and so ten entries become fifteen becomes twenty becomes twenty five...

As for the kettle business, i thought it was quite normal to make that kind of mistake...:unsure:

A few weeks back i put my car battery on charge (was plugged into extension lead inside gargage). I then drove all the way to work not realizing i hadn't switched the charger off, hadn't unplugged the charger from the extension, and hadn't unplugged the extension from inside the garage.

The result of this was i discovered only much later while at work that i had brought a small section of severed extension cable along for the ride, but fortunately the charger was salvaged, although still inside the bonnet.

Winnie-the-Pooh has nothing on me! - my brain's far more fluffier...:bored:

PS: It's a £50,000 prize for the Telegraph fantasy wotsit. That would be enough dosh to secure the best possible kind of care for me...wouldn't it??

Well Woodstock,

This sounds like a case for Peter Sellers, or Basil Fawlty. Take your pick.

Was it hot the day of your car battery incident?

Good luck with trying to win the 50.000 pounds, never mind the care, have fun. You only live once.

Maureen
Northern angel.
I pray for :rain: please tonight. So that the air is nice and clear in the morning.

Dear Woodstock, I have the cure for all that ails you. I must know if you can come over to the Southern Colonies (one-way ticket) and go with me on a little trip to the Parishes of Louisiana. I will feed you well and proper on the way down and I promise to introduce you to the locals...they'll be REAL friendly, especically with the fresh meat necklace you will have. You don't have any pesky rellies or dental records or anything do ya??:bye: Just a lovely, thoughtful gesture from your FAVORITE Southern Belle...:devil:

Dear Woodstock, I have the cure for all that ails you. I must know if you can come over to the Southern Colonies (one-way ticket) and go with me on a little trip to the Parishes of Louisiana. I will feed you well and proper on the way down and I promise to introduce you to the locals...they'll be REAL friendly, especically with the fresh meat necklace you will have. You don't have any pesky rellies or dental records or anything do ya??:bye: Just a lovely, thoughtful gesture from your FAVORITE Southern Belle...:devil:


Are you saying that Woodstock would become a victim of some voodoo wtichcraft? These aren't the 'colonials' you were speaking of in another thread are they? If so they don't sound like a friendly bunch at all.

Maureen
Northern angel.

I can be a Colonial of two minds NA...A lovely Southern Belle one or a Voodoo one, depends on if you want to get my ire up and our little yellow bird with the typewriter seems set to push all my buttons...no pun intended. It's his choice, he can be nice enough and I can be nice enough and the pins can come out of his facsimilie person or he can be quite ugly and I can reciprocate. Y'all know I'd rather be nice than fighting, well mostly.:pimp:
And thanks for my rep WS...I appreciate everyone who thinks of me good or bad.:evilmad:

Years ago, I used to go to a country music hoe down, and the Northern Belles of Newcastle upon tyne would dress in the colonial fashions of the American Antibellum period. Great outfits, lively music and a good time was had by all.

There was even a shoot out.

I like the cultural and colourful aspects of your Southern colonial heritage, I think it is interesting.

I'd avoid the voodoo tripping at all costs. So much so I bad repped your post as I thought you were getting at WS in an innocent and humourous thread.

Enjoy the summer all of you.

Maureen
Northern angel.

I promise to introduce you to the locals...they'll be REAL friendly, especically with the fresh meat necklace you will have.

I'm afraid I shall be declining on that 'sipp - i'm not sure i trust i can trust anyone who spells 'especially' incorrectly..

Though the thought of the one-way ticket, parish congregation, meat-necklace...meat-necklace??...and dental plans make me want to swim across the Atlantic right away.

It'd be nice if you could have Bubba, Virgil, and Earl greeting me once i arrive ashore...:sly::sly::hug:

Though the thought of the one-way ticket, parish congregation, meat-necklace...meat-necklace??...



Errrrrrr what's a meat necklace?

Parishes are what they have in Louisiana in lieu of counties. And these parishes have swamps. And the locals are not Bubba, Virgil or Billy Bob, they are more reptilian in nature. The meat necklace is for them to get better 'aquainted' with you. And shoot me over one forgotten 'i' in especially!! Your fan club president is gone for a few days...whatever will you do?:(

I don't care how many times you've entered into this football comp, I'm still gonna beat you in our SO league!:w00t:

So Woodstock have you won anything yet?

For one person to win the newspaper will only pay out when sufficient calls have raised the funds to pay the winner. It's the same theory behind these late night TV cash shows. I simply have to switch them off.

Maureen
Northern angel.

I think the English have a genetic thing going on where a significant portion of the neocortex shuts down at around 30 degrees and the loon side take dominance.

The phrase mad dogs and Englishmen may have originated from this.

Spend a day on a Spanish beach in the heat of summer, we've all been there, and you know what I mean.

I think the Germans have a similar shut-down sequence but the control centre becomes dominant, that part that determines territory (and so, towel placement) (WW II the Germans always retreated during the winter in the 3 year offensive against Russia, absolute and irrefutable proof that the territorial part shuts down in the cold, therefore must activate in the heat).

Same with the Spanish, but the sleep centre dominates over a certain temperature. Their problem is that the sleep centre also activates in the cold, so they can only operate effectively in a very narrow range of temperatures.

French - the paranoic defence of all things French and anti-american brain part comes more into play (as does the total incomprehension to the concept of queuing).

So many more. All on display in Benidorm, annually.