Feel free to highlight anyone's grammatical/typing shortcomings here.

Just cut and paste from other threads/posts and lets all have a good laugh!

Oh god - i think i might be on here a lot. My spelling is terrible.

Capital "I" and "G" because they are proper nouns (names), Bons.

Next!

Feel free to highlight anyone's grammatical/typing shortcomings here.

Just cut and paste from other threads/posts and lets all have a good laugh!

...............................

:w00t: Look at me. I'm laughing!!!!

See, it's fun, isn't it?

But deep inside you're torn apart.

:ninja:

Young Johnny Faherty went off to Amerikay to seek his fortune.
Years later he returned to the ramshackle old cottage of his birth to visit his elderly parents. Naturally..they were delighted to see him, and eager to hear all about his travels and adventures.'Tell us a few tales..there Johnny', implored his mother. 'Really mother', he replied'..the word is 'narrative'.Thats what people say now. 'Tales is soooooooooooooooooooo 1830's.
So they listened in awe to all he had to say, in fact the dawn was breaking when they finally decided to go to bed.'Put out the candle there Johnny'..his mother instructed, as she got ready to toddle off to bed.
'Really mother'...'no-body says 'put out' any more....the word is extinguish.
And he shook his head in despair at the unworldlyness of his parents.
His father, meanwhile...got up to go to bed. 'Now Johnny, he said..don't let that cat sleep in the house all night.Before you go to bed be sure to catch her by the narrative and extinguish her!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lovely. Although the ' in "1830's" jumped out and bit my face off.

But thank you. :)

<TABLE style="WIDTH: 492px; HEIGHT: 1489px" cellPadding=5 bgColor=#ffffcc border=1><TBODY><TR><TD>Question 1 - Possessive: Which of the following statements is correct?

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q1>A. I sat on the chair. One of it's legs were damaged.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q1>B. I sat on the chair. One of its legs were damaged.
<INPUT type=radio value=C name=q1>C. I sat on the chair. One of it's legs was damaged.
<INPUT type=radio value=D name=q1>D. I sat on the chair. One of its legs was damaged.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 2 - Noun or verb: Which one is a noun?

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q2>A. Licence
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q2>B. License</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 3 - Strange Plural: Which of the following is correct?

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q3>A. Two familys went away together.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q3>B. Two families went away together.
<INPUT type=radio value=C name=q3>C. Two family's went away together.
<INPUT type=radio value=D name=q3>D. Two familie's went away together.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 4 - Data: Which statement is correct?

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q4>A. There is more data.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q4>B. There are more data.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 5 - Except and Accept (1)

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q5>A. He won every game except one.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q5>B. He won every game accept one.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 6 - Except and Accept (2)

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q6>A. She accepted his proposal.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q6>B. She excepted his proposal.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 7 - Less or fewer?

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q7>A. Ten items or less.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q7>B. Ten items or fewer.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 8 - Effect and affect

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q8>A. The drug had no effect: the condition was not effected.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q8>B. The drug had no affect: the condition was not effected.
<INPUT type=radio value=C name=q8>C. The drug had no effect: the condition was not affected.
<INPUT type=radio value=D name=q8>D. The drug had no affect: the condition was not affected.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 9 - Criteria

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q9>A. No records match this selection criteria.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q9>B. No records match these selection criteria.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 10 - Double Negatives

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q10>A. I haven't got no more matches.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q10>B. I have got no more matches.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 11 - Me and I (1)

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q11>A. John, James and I went out.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q11>B. John, James and me went out.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 12 - Me and I (2)

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q12>A. John drove James and I to church.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q12>B. John drove James and me to church.</TD></TR><TR><TD>Question 13 - Abstract Noun (courtesy of John, a work colleague)

<INPUT type=radio value=A name=q13>A. Please refrain from pouring waste into the machine.
<INPUT type=radio value=B name=q13>B. Please refrain from pouring wastage into the machine</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

Patsy will be giving the answers tomorrow.

Can anyone else see my dots?

Edit: Apparently not.

Seriously, anyone who cares enough about his/her grammar, but doesn't want to admit it, please feel free to PM floopy with the answers and she would be happy to mark them.

:)

Better, Miss?

Seriously, anyone who cares enough about their grammar, but don't want to admit it, please feel free to PM floopy with the answers and she would be happy to mark them.

:)

Oh dear. :book:

I've correct my work. Can I have a lolly now?

I've corrected my work. Can I have a lolly now?

Have you been on the gin ?

You need to put a little more thought into your work before you get a lolly, Patricia.

Look. I'm extremely busy here, you know. I've got tenancy agreements coming out of my ears (attractive).

I may be a pedant, but I never said was perfect.

Carry on, though. Glad to see you're awake.

Note to self - must read posts before submitting. :wallbash:

I've correct my work. Can I have a lolly now?

I suspect you can. Whether or not you may is another question entirely.




Edited because of paranoia

Edited because of paranoia
Are they a new member?

Don't be silly. Paranoia is my special friend. We talk to each other all the time.

Look.

Imperative usually requires an exclamation mark.

Are they a new member?

How can a plural be a singular?

How can a plural be a singular?
Don't start friggin picking on me cos Flooops floored you!!

Imperative usually requires an exclamation mark.

Usually. Not this time, love. :mad2:

agreed. it was fun. let's do it again.

Capital A. Capital I. Capital L.

Didn't we have a discussion on here a while back about people putting themselves forward as experts in fields where they clearly had no real expertise?

Didn't we have a discussion on here a while back about people putting themselves forward as experts in fields where they clearly had no real expertise?
Yes, but you know Pats, she's got a hide like an Angel.... :devil:

Didn't we have a discussion on here a while back about people putting themselves forward as experts in fields where they clearly had no real expertise?

Assuming you are referring to me, when did I ever claim to be an expert? Hmm? When?

http://www.survivor-online.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?p=140865&highlight=expert#post140865

:photo:

Lol Pats - hung, drawn and quartered :w00t:

Their word, not mine I think you'll agree. Now, if you've got a valid point to make, I'm willing to listen. If not, go and mop Gigi's wee off the kitchen floor before Eddie (or Cockney) drinks it, there's a good girl.

Look. I'm extremely busy here, you know. I've got tenancy agreements coming out of my ears (attractive).

I may be a pedant, but I never said was perfect.

Carry on, though. Glad to see you're awake.

Note to self - must read posts before submitting. :wallbash:
The highlighted sentence does not make sense, Patsy. You have missed out the word "I", which should come after the word "said".

D+

It's the state of the tenancy agreements that worries me PJ :ohmy:

The highlighted sentence does not make sense, Patsy. You have missed out the word "I", which should come after the word "said".

D+

A little harsh, Peej, but I've taken it on board.

Thanks. :)

Oooh, I have a problem for Jeremy Kyle.

Eddie is afraid of giraffes. Whenever he's watching his Baby Einstain DVD on world animals he cries whenever a giraffe comes on.

What can I do?

Already pointed out by Fee. Not a grammatical error, but still worth a giggle.

Already pointed out by Fee. Not a grammatical error, but still worth a giggle.

I think you'll find it's worthy of a giggle, rather than worth a giggle.

HTH :)

Ever heard the phrase "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones"?

I have. Fortunately, my house is made of bricks. :sun:

I have. Fortunately, my house is made of bricks. :sun:

And very expensive ones at that, no doubt.

3 million quid doesn't go as far as it used to Bella! :sad:



Please note: This is a joke!
My house isn't worth 3 million quid.
It probably isn't even worth 2 million quid!!!

Already pointed out by Fee. Not a grammatical error, but still worth a giggle.

Oh please, you're resorting to pointing out typo's??? Your time would be better spent in personal study, methinks. :nerd:

Not sure if it's already been pointed out, but shouldn't the title of the thread be Pedants' Paradise, as clearly we have more than one pedant on the board?

Oh very well done. :w00t:

I am going to make only one post here and then when I do venture into this area I will be adorned with my necklace of erasers and correction fluid to ward off...pedants ewwwwwwww.:shocking:

Your doing well so far Msg, no-one's said anything about your post yet!:w00t:

Ahem. That would be 'You're doing well...' Andrea.:ninja:

*Double checks everything before posting*

Aisleyne was too usy terying to make it be about her, and Gloon was just being an **** as usual.

What does this mean, please?

Probably alcohol connected Patsy.

It's the children I worry about. :sleep:

Tsk, that was in the bif brother forum, so it doesn't count :nerd:

No idea what it mean, aksh, but I was typing very quick cos I had a lot to say and limited time to say it.

Possibly 'busy trying', although I do like the sound of usy terying:cool:

Probably alcohol connected Patsy.

It's the children I worry about. :sleep:

Would that be "Probably alcohol connected, Patsy", or are you questioning whether or not Patricia has connections with the licensing trade?

Spatchcock :angry:

Still pi$$ed, floops? Or still very, very busy?

Tsk, that was in the bif brother forum, so it doesn't count :nerd:

Oh, where is this forum? I don't think I've seen it yet. Unless, of course, you meant "big brother forum" :sly:

C-

Oh very well done. :w00t:

Hold on to your knickers, cheese breath. I did consider this before I named the thread, actually.

I settled on the singular "pedant", because it is my paradise. Do you see?

Oh, where is this forum? I don't think I've seen it yet. Unless, of course, you meant "big brother forum" :sly:

C-

:ohmy: No full stop!

F

:ohmy: No full stop!

F
Well done, you noticed the deliberate mistake.

A

I should like to take a moment to point out that you are not allowed to mark homework in red pen anymore, it appears to upset children and send negtive messages to them. My children's teacher marks their homework in green pen.

And don't even bother pointing out any spelling or grammatical errors in this post cos I don't care.:nerd:

Still very very busy, obviously :nerd: .


I settled on the singular "pedant", because it is my paradise. Do you see?


I would suggest 'A Pedant's Paradise' then, so as to avoid confusion.

I should like to take a moment to point out that you are not allowed to mark homework in red pen anymore, it appears to upset children and send negtive messages to them. My children's teacher marks their homework in green pen.

And don't even bother pointing out any spelling or grammatical errors in this post cos I don't care.:nerd:


So you can get your homework totally wrong in a good way then? :huh:

So you can get your homework totally wrong in a good way then? :huh:
Yes, apparently so. The teacher can even make spelling mistakes in green pen too.

Still very very busy, obviously :nerd: .



I would suggest 'A Pedant's Paradise' then, so as to avoid confusion.

I'm sure you would. My thread, my title. Deal with it.

Deal with it.

My strap line :nerd:

Yup, we were talking about his last night (we don't get out much). Pete and Richard have already staked their claim on Nikki and Lea, and evening Aisleyne said last night "I wasnt Nikki back in here right now".

:huh:






.

ah yes, not really gramatical errors, just typos. When I'm typing quickly my fingers type words that they're used to typing, not necessarily the words that I'm thinking though.

Comes of having such a very fast brain I suppose :thumbsup: .

**snigger**:unsure:

**slap**

.

**OUCH!!!***:blink: :mad2: :cry:

I always have trouble with to and too. I am getting better but would appreciate any errors in this area to be highlighted in red, whenever possible, so I can learn.

Thank-you:thumbsup:

P.S. Is it ok to use a smilie instead of a full stop in a posted message?

Coastie, tread lightly in Pats' domain...you know how she is!!:ninja:

It's ok MissG. Patsy doesn't scare me, never has, never will. She's just a big namby, pamby wuss!:devil:

Should you use OK or Okay?:blink:

P.S. Is it ok to use a smilie instead of a full stop in a posted message?

Yes, absolutely, but only on the internet. Refrain from using smilies in lieu of punctuation in business letters. :ninja:

Re to or too.

To: To go, to speak, to do.

Too: Too hot, too much, too fast.

Way to remember - 'Too' has one more 'o' so you use it to indicate more of something. Extar 'o', extra something.

i.e. To have too much ice cream.

Cheers Floops...:thumbsup:

I shall now test myself to see if I've got it.

I went to the shops today and spent too much money. Next time will you come too?

(Should there be two 'o's in the final to/o as it indicates that there is an addition of sorts?...I know I should know this stuff but I can't recall ever being taught it properly at school.)

ah yes, not really gramatical errors, just typos. When I'm typing quickly my fingers type words that they're used to typing, not necessarily the words that I'm thinking though.

Comes of having such a very fast brain I suppose :thumbsup: .
It's "grammatical".

Also, your last sentence should read "Comes with having such a..."

Not good enough. See me.

Cheers Floops...:thumbsup:

I shall now test myself to see if I've got it.

I went to the shops today and spent too much money. Next time will you come too?

(Should there be two 'o's in the final to/o as it indicates that there is an addition of sorts?...I know I should know this stuff but I can't recall ever being taught it properly at school.)

Yes, absolutely correct, 10/10. :smartie:

Personally, I would have put a comma after 'Next time' and before 'will you', but that's just me being picky.

PJ, shut it. :boxing:

http://www.survivor-online.co.uk/gallery/file.php?n=26&w=o

Can't see it Slips

TRy link now??

Link works now :nerd:

In the first letter, they spelt across as accross.

Pah, bunch of amateurs :pimp:

I should like to take a moment to point out that you are not allowed to mark homework in red pen anymore, it appears to upset children and send negtive messages to them. My children's teacher marks their homework in green pen.

And don't even bother pointing out any spelling or grammatical errors in this post cos I don't care.:nerd:


It has been acknowledged for decades that marking in red ink sends negative messages to students, irrespective of age. Module assignments have an attached sheet of lecturers comments, but the actual papers can either have errors marked in pencil or green ink, for the attention of the student. However, the majority of assignments are not marked on the actual copy at all, instead all suggestions are made on the attached proforma sheet.

When it comes to marking exam papers the same policy is followed.

Eventually assignments or exam papers may not be marked by hand at all, instead everything will go through an electronic reader which will then automatically mark and grade, according to a set and more rigid standard. Leaving no room for comparative marking.

Im soooooo very disappointed not 2 find any of my postings in this thred, cleerly I need 2 try harder - either that or Patsy's slacking after her holiday :nerd:

No-one likes an attention seeker, Samm :nerd:

Did you call? Sorry, I was elsewhere being extremely popular.

I was elsewhere being extremely popular.

That's just all wrong.

How do you see if anyone's wrote you a message?

I think you'll find that's "if anyone's written", or "if anyone wrote....". And you were doing so well............

I will report back later on it's success.

:w00t:



.

Oh the shame!:blush:

I've been checking KS3 english scripts, and they've put into question all I hold dear, if that's any excuse.

No excuses accepted. But at least you don't do this continually.

I'm a python. Definately.

Peej, a tip for you. Think of the word as de-finitely. That's what helped my 13 year old - when he was 10! :w00t:

***SNIGGER***msgirl slinks off knowing she's not far from being in the PEDANTS CORNER for SOMETHING:laugh:

Capital "I" and "G" because they are proper nouns (names), Bons.

Next!
No. The "I" should be capitalised since it is a convention to capitalise the personal subjective/nominative pronoun. It is not however a proper noun.

No. The "I" should be capitalised since it is a convention to capitalise the personal subjective/nominative pronoun. It is not however a proper noun.

Shouldn't the word "however" have a comma before it - and another one after it?

Don't bother Rob - he'll wriggle out of it. (feel free to add commas to that, here are some ,,,,)

Shouldn't the word "however" have a comma before it - and another one after it?
No grammatical rule imposes the use of the comma in that sentence.

Spot on SF. Your first comma there should have been a semicolon, by the way.

Use a pair of commas in the middle of a sentence to set off clauses, phrases, and words that are not essential to the meaning of the sentence. Use one comma before to indicate the beginning of the pause and one at the end to indicate the end of the pause.

Here are some clues to help you decide whether the sentence element is essential:

* If you leave out the clause, phrase, or word, does the sentence still make sense?
* Does the clause, phrase, or word interrupt the flow of words in the original sentence?
* If you move the element to a different position in the sentence, does the sentence still make sense?

If you answer "yes" to one or more of these questions, then the element in question is nonessential and should be set off with commas. Here are some example sentences with nonessential elements:

Clause: That Tuesday, which happens to be my birthday, is the only day when I am available to meet.
Phrase: This restaurant has an exciting atmosphere. The food, on the other hand, is rather bland.
Word: I appreciate your hard work. In this case, however, you seem to have over-exerted yourself.

For what it's worth, Rob, I agree!

See what I did there?

Question:

As Jonn walked into the room, he asked "Where is Mary?"


Is it correct that the first spoken word begins with a capital letter?

I would say yes, because John is starting a new sentence, which is being quoted.

This one?


.

This one?


.


This sentence is incomplete.

You must try harder, Patsy. :smartie:

I would say yes, because John is starting a new sentence, which is being quoted.
Is this second comma really necessary, Patsy?

Yes. Yes it is, PJ.

Honestly Peej, do you really want to go there - again?

I've just been pretty busy lately, to be honest. Also, nothing really that intresting on here at the moment. But don't worry - my London photos will be up soon :nerd:

Need I say more?

That's a rhetorical question, btw.

I would like to thank Fee for dredging up this little beauty.

I'm so proud, I could sh!t. (A little Cat-ism, I thought those of you who remember her, would appreciate.)

Are those commas in your parenthetic clause strictly necessary?

On reflection, no.

I am ashamed. :(