http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y119/Jlydon/marriedmensmagazine_1.jpg

Next month, perhaps there could be a section on explaining to your wife where the jokes section is? :glare:

How about this for another section?

"Don't Kid Yourself - Size Really Does Matter."

How about this for another section?

"Don't Kid Yourself - Size Really Does Matter."
And then one in response, for the ladies:

"But only if you have a fanny like a clown's pocket"

What, full of tricks?!

But as this is about a great new magazine for married men, that wouldn't apply, would it?

Been measuring in centimetres have we, Peej?

You know in viewing the front of this magazine one would have thought it may be in the wrong section, for having a laugh.

Or has the front page stirred up light hearted thoughts on the matter of male suppression? I'm not sure.

Some men find it highly erotic to be temporarily dominated but the suggested articles on that front page, strikes me as being more long term and psychologically damaging and not conducive of harmonius relationships.

MAUREEN
NORTHERN ANGEL.

Some men find it highly erotic to be temporarily dominated MAUREEN
NORTHERN ANGEL.

Careful what you say Mo-Mo, next thing you know Groucho will be asking you to sit on his face.

Next month:

'How to give her the kitchen she really wants - loans explained'

'She got the kitchen - why you should still take her out for a meal'

'Ebay - not an excuse to avoid real shops'

'Auntie Pat's 80th - how to get that shift off work'

'Why she cant carry a full coal bucket - but you can'

'Choosing a car you can both park'

'Using a map - how to tell her where it is you should be'

'Its Wednesday tomorrow - how to take the bins out on a Tuesday night'

Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during Our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded Little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's Cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: "There's no one like you, Connie." I Look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're Not you. They're not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just To illustrate the depth of my desperation.

She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that Only youth and maybe a childhood-spent ice-skating can give you. I Mean,just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn't believe and an ass that Just wouldn't quit, every man's dream, right? But as I sat on the couch Being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made Important in our lives. It's all so superficial.

What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I'm getting at. Does it make Her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately Attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that Before.

I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little. Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else; some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of Lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real Story.

Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight or her career and Whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and We straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally Hot,but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining Order. I mean, Vicky's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good Head on her shoulders and she's been a real friend to me during this Painful time. She's given me lots of good advice about you and about women In general. She's pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she Really is. So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking About happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as you And all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole anal thing, That gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us.
But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby Sister's' cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just Wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same please, please, please let me know. Otherwise, can you let me know where the ****ing remote is?

Love,
Dan

You know in viewing the front of this magazine one would have thought it may be in the wrong section, for having a laugh.

Or has the front page stirred up light hearted thoughts on the matter of male suppression? I'm not sure.

Some men find it highly erotic to be temporarily dominated but the suggested articles on that front page, strikes me as being more long term and psychologically damaging and not conducive of harmonius relationships.

MAUREEN
NORTHERN ANGEL.

Mo, the whole thing is a pee-take. Please tell me you realise that.

Careful what you say Mo-Mo, next thing you know Groucho will be asking you to sit on his face.

Naughty, naughty. That's another way to reach a top C.

MAUREEN
NORTHERN ANGEL. :wink_kiss

Mo, the whole thing is a pee-take. Please tell me you realise that.

Hello Patsy,

You know I think if it is true what you say, I think I've just been had.

You see the magazine front doesn't strike me as a seedy mens S and M magazine. That front could quite easily be sitting on the bottom shelf of a newsagents magazine racking system. The top shelf being reserved for adult books of a pornaographic nature. Even the tiny slogan in the top corner hadn't any suggestive detail in it to suggest otherwise. The pale silhouette of someone on there knees and another person standing, reminds me of a public service document left in the University quiet study room on the subject of increasing domestic violence cases against men.

So wow what a cover, oops what a way to be taken in.

My 40th birthday bash was a pee take on this topic,and I have only just managed to live it down since. As the outfit hangs at the back of the wardrobe a distant reminder of a great night and a great laugh.

I'll have to watch out in future.

MAUREEN
NORTHERN ANGEL. :blush:

Naughty, naughty. That's another way to reach a top C.

MAUREEN
NORTHERN ANGEL. :wink_kiss

Or a lower C.

Or a lower C.

Very.

:wink2:

Should we leave the writing of a blue page to HUSHTHEVOICES? After all he has done very well so far, hasn't he?

MAUREEN
NORTHERN ANGEL.:laugh: :blush:

Should we leave the writing of a blue page to HUSHTHEVOICES? After all he has done very well so far, hasn't he?

Will you walk into my parlour? 'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy