The government today announced that it is changing our emblem from a Union Jack to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Brilliant just sums em up:laugh:

The British have reacted to the recent terrorism alerts by raising their
security level from ‘Miffed’ to ‘Peeved’. Soon, though, security levels may
be raised yet again to ‘Irritated’ or even ‘A Bit Cross’. Londoners have not
been ‘A Bit Cross’ since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies all but ran
out.

Terrorists have been re-categorised from ‘Tiresome’ to a ‘Bloody Nuisance’.
The last time the British ran a ‘Bloody Nuisance’ warning level was during
the great fire of 1666.

Also the French Government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from ‘Run’ to ‘Hide’. The only two higher levels in France are
‘Surrender’ and ‘Collaborate’. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the
countries military capability.

Not only the British and French that are on a heightened level of alert:

Italy has increased the alert level from ‘Shout Loudly and Excitedly’ to
'Elaborate Military Posturing’. Two more levels remain: ‘Ineffective Combat
Operations’ and ‘Change Sides’.

The Germans also increased their alert state from ‘Disdainful Arrogance’ to
‘Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs’. They also have two higher
levels: ‘Invade a Neighbour’ and ‘Lose’.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday, as is customary, and the
only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.