Bella
05-01-2007, 02:59 PM
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who
have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards"
over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed
and healthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat
crap in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to
go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an
envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the
same reason.
Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink
Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet
stains, which is not exactly an appealing
characteristic.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones
because I could be pricked with a needle infected with
AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone
might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are
actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or
feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last
count,I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers
my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my
friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the
hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but
that will change once I receive the $15,000 that
Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special on-line email program.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking
out for me that I will now return the favour!
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000
people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a
wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at
5:00 PM (EST) tomorrow afternoon. I know this will
occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second
husband's cousin's beautician's landlord.
DO IT NOW OR ELSE!
Happy New Year!
have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards"
over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed
and healthy.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat
crap in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to
go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an
envelope.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the
same reason.
Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink
Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet
stains, which is not exactly an appealing
characteristic.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones
because I could be pricked with a needle infected with
AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone
might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are
actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or
feathers.
I no longer worry about my soul because at last
count,I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers
my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my
friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the
hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all in fact - but
that will change once I receive the $15,000 that
Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special on-line email program.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking
out for me that I will now return the favour!
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000
people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a
wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at
5:00 PM (EST) tomorrow afternoon. I know this will
occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second
husband's cousin's beautician's landlord.
DO IT NOW OR ELSE!
Happy New Year!