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Dirk's one-liners [Archive] - Survivor Online

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Pandora
13-01-2007, 02:43 PM
I think these deserve a thread of their own.... I love Dirk !!!! :applause: :yahoo:


I told BB, no cigars, then no Benedict.

If we can get Danielle to use sign language, rather than speak, we will be in business. (Apparently he cant understand a word she says).

What the hell you talkin about, the smell of my smoke is annoying? I inhale so deeply you can't smell it.!! .... (about his cigars.)

Donny Tourette on seeing him for the first time :-
Donnie: Dirk f**king Benedict!!
Dirk: Well, I don't really use my middle name.

Leo: (dramatically, during the servant task), "Humanity is all we have left!"
Dirk: "...and oranges..."

On talking to Jermaine about Jackieys pumping so frequently Dirk says about pumping
'Once is okay, twice yeah, ...but not when it becomes a lifestyle

Dirk, on Ken's leaving, : "You know what that means?"
Jo "It means we've got new HMs coming cos we've lost 2"
Dirk "no it means I'm the oldest, perhaps I'll get some respect now?!" http://images.digitalspy.co.uk/forum/smilies/biggrin.gif

Carole : Jack is very quiet isnt he?
Dirk : Wouldnt you be?

After the maths task they are all itching to go . They shout....'can we go now Big Brother?'
Dirk drawls: "We have a lot to do....."

During yet another self important rant, Leo then compares himself to the late Peter Sellers (as one of the few people to have no fear in taking risks and backing it up with talent) and then went onto say, 'But I am not as talented as as.... (convo hangs for a second').
Dirk chips up in the background "Dirk Benedict?"

Leo: People out there who know me will be cringing...
Shilpa: No Leo, they'll love you.
Dirk: Don't get carried away Shilpa ..... get a hold of yourself

"Is the shower free? I've not had a shower since Margaret Thatcher was in office".

This morning to Shilpa.
Dirk: Don't make the food too hot, it might give me a personality.


and finally, my favourite......

On Leo's decision to leave :-
Dirk: What would you like me to keep Leo, as a keepsake?
Leo: a soiled pair of underpants.
Dirk vows to wave them in the air on his eviction and say 'these are from Leo Sayer's last performance'. http://images.digitalspy.co.uk/forum/smilies/biggrin.gif

Taffy
13-01-2007, 11:51 PM
I think these deserve a thread of their own.... I love Dirk !!!! :applause: :yahoo:


I told BB, no cigars, then no Benedict.

If we can get Danielle to use sign language, rather than speak, we will be in business. (Apparently he cant understand a word she says).

What the hell you talkin about, the smell of my smoke is annoying? I inhale so deeply you can't smell it.!! .... (about his cigars.)

Donny Tourette on seeing him for the first time :-
Donnie: Dirk f**king Benedict!!
Dirk: Well, I don't really use my middle name.

Leo: (dramatically, during the servant task), "Humanity is all we have left!"
Dirk: "...and oranges..."

On talking to Jermaine about Jackieys pumping so frequently Dirk says about pumping
'Once is okay, twice yeah, ...but not when it becomes a lifestyle

Dirk, on Ken's leaving, : "You know what that means?"
Jo "It means we've got new HMs coming cos we've lost 2"
Dirk "no it means I'm the oldest, perhaps I'll get some respect now?!" http://images.digitalspy.co.uk/forum/smilies/biggrin.gif

Carole : Jack is very quiet isnt he?
Dirk : Wouldnt you be?

After the maths task they are all itching to go . They shout....'can we go now Big Brother?'
Dirk drawls: "We have a lot to do....."

During yet another self important rant, Leo then compares himself to the late Peter Sellers (as one of the few people to have no fear in taking risks and backing it up with talent) and then went onto say, 'But I am not as talented as as.... (convo hangs for a second').
Dirk chips up in the background "Dirk Benedict?"

Leo: People out there who know me will be cringing...
Shilpa: No Leo, they'll love you.
Dirk: Don't get carried away Shilpa ..... get a hold of yourself

"Is the shower free? I've not had a shower since Margaret Thatcher was in office".

This morning to Shilpa.
Dirk: Don't make the food too hot, it might give me a personality.


and finally, my favourite......

On Leo's decision to leave :-
Dirk: What would you like me to keep Leo, as a keepsake?
Leo: a soiled pair of underpants.
Dirk vows to wave them in the air on his eviction and say 'these are from Leo Sayer's last performance'. http://images.digitalspy.co.uk/forum/smilies/biggrin.gif

LMHO :applause:
I agree with you Panadora, he makes me smile, an American with a GSOH, you dont get many of them to the pound !

Pandora
14-01-2007, 02:33 PM
Its true. He has a very very dry wit. Lots of irony.

Id like him to win the show and whisk Cleo off to Montana where theyd live happily ever after....