Northern angel
15-02-2007, 01:47 AM
Hello,
Having seen the Dementia Test recently and done it, I thought I'd drop this on in for a laugh.
Mr and Mrs Fenton are retired. Mrs Fenton insists that he go with her to WAL-MART. He gets bired with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
--------------------
Dear Mrs Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in your store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in WAL-MART;-
JUNE 15TH Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
JULY 2ND.Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
JULY 7TH.Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the Restrooms.
JULY 19TH. Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares. And watched what happened.
AUG 4 . Went to Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
SEPT 14. Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpetted area.
SEPT 15. Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
SEPT 23. When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me ...alone?'
OCT 4. Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
NOV 10TH. While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antedepressants.
DEC 3rd. Darted around the store suspiciously and loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
DEC 6TH. In the auto department, practiced his "MADONNA LOOK" using different sized funnels.
DEC 18TH. Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled - "PICK ME " "PICK ME".
DEC 21ST.When an announcement came ove the loud speaker, he assumes the feotal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least
DEC 23RD. WENT INTO A FITTING ROOM, SHUT THE DOOR AND WAITED AWHILE, THEN YELLED VERY LOUDLY, "THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
------------------------
My American colleague posted this list for me on another site. So hope it doesn't offend anyone here.
I find it rather madly amusing.
Maureen
Northern angel
Having seen the Dementia Test recently and done it, I thought I'd drop this on in for a laugh.
Mr and Mrs Fenton are retired. Mrs Fenton insists that he go with her to WAL-MART. He gets bired with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
--------------------
Dear Mrs Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in your store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in WAL-MART;-
JUNE 15TH Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
JULY 2ND.Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
JULY 7TH.Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the Restrooms.
JULY 19TH. Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares. And watched what happened.
AUG 4 . Went to Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
SEPT 14. Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpetted area.
SEPT 15. Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
SEPT 23. When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me ...alone?'
OCT 4. Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
NOV 10TH. While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where to find the antedepressants.
DEC 3rd. Darted around the store suspiciously and loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
DEC 6TH. In the auto department, practiced his "MADONNA LOOK" using different sized funnels.
DEC 18TH. Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled - "PICK ME " "PICK ME".
DEC 21ST.When an announcement came ove the loud speaker, he assumes the feotal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
And last but not least
DEC 23RD. WENT INTO A FITTING ROOM, SHUT THE DOOR AND WAITED AWHILE, THEN YELLED VERY LOUDLY, "THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
------------------------
My American colleague posted this list for me on another site. So hope it doesn't offend anyone here.
I find it rather madly amusing.
Maureen
Northern angel