I love rewriting the words to popular songs and would like to dedicate my version of Dido 'White Flag' to Dolores!


"White Bits"

You know I think that you shouldn't dance naked,
Or were a big hat.
But if you didn't do it, I know I'd have to do it
But I don't look good in hats?

I promise I'm not trying to ruin all your fun
Or tell you to stop that

But I will not dance in my slip
And I won't get my baps out and lambada
There will be no white bits on display
I'm too good and always will be

Yes it's hard for you to behave
Mischief runs thick inside your veins
But you've caused nothing but trouble
You understand if I can't talk to you again
But if you live by the rules of S.O.
Then we can be friends again

But I will not dance in my slip
And I won't get my baps out and lambada
There will be no white bits on display
I'm too good and always will be

And when you dance
Which I'm sure you will
With all revealed
You'll have such a thrill
And I'll runaway
Just so ashamed
With my clothes on....

But I will not dance in my slip
And I won't get my baps out and lambada
There will be no white bits on display
I'm too good and always will be



More will follow eventually...unless you all scream 'Stop this nonsence now!':spam-wave:

Please Coastie can we have some more?

Bravo. Bravo.

Maureen
Northern angel.

This is for all those of you feeling more than a little unappreciated by your employer at the moment and totally peeved at your recent pay review!:angry:

FICKELBACK

"How You Will Find Me"

Wanna make it in the real world
But can I cut it on the pay I'm earning
Pay review is disappointing
I'm sick of waffle without much meaning
And this is how you will find me
This is how you will find me
Claiming income support
This is how you will find me
Claiming income support

It's not like me to worry
But with a mortgage it's a different story
This time my hearts racing
My bank account is close to breaking
and I've been strong, I've been proud,
But now I see nothing but trouble
So come on union rep
Scream "are we getting' paid yet?"

yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no
yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no

It's not like I didn't know that
I joined a job where the pay was lousy
I guess I was just hopeful
That loyalty would be rewarded someday
And this is how you will find me
This is how you will find me
Claiming income support
This is how you will find me
Claiming income support

It's not like me to worry
But with a mortgage it's a different story
This time my hearts racing
My bank account is close to breaking
and I've been strong, I've been proud,
But now I see nothing but trouble
So come on union rep
Scream "are we getting' paid yet?"

yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no
yet, yet, yet, no, no

Wanna make it in the real world
But can I cut it on the wage I'm earning
This is how you will find me
Claiming income support
This is how you will find me
Claiming income support

It's not like me to worry
But with a mortgage it's a different story
This time my hearts racing
My bank account is close to breaking
and I've been strong, I've been proud,
But now I see nothing but trouble
So come on union rep
Scream "are we getting' paid yet?" [3x]:assshake:

:thumbsup:

Even though you BLASPHEMED Chad Kroeger...IT WAS BRILLIANT!!:w00t:

For all you big busted women out there...

The Sores

Find My Wire

You know that it would be so rude
You know that I would feel so dire
If I went outside with you
Without my bras under wire
Come on baby, find my wire
Come on baby, find my wire
My boobs need to be much higher

The time to laugh at me is through
My boob's drooping into the mire
Nipple chaffing on my shoe
My double E needs support not satire
Come on baby, find my wire
Come on baby, find my wire
My boobs need to be much higher, yeah

My boob is turning black and blue
It's been kicked by a size niner
Blood is staining all my shoe
And you think your babies I will sire
Come on baby, find my wire
Come on baby, find my wire
My boobs need to be much higher, yeah

There can be no breast feeding it's true
You know my boobs beyond repair...
I blame, of course, on you
You could have just found my under wire
Come on baby, find my wire
Come on baby, find my wire
My boobs need to be much higher
My boobs need to be much higher
My boobs need to be much higher…

just spotted these - excellent C!!

This is a little number I adapted and dedicated to the racers on the 66:33 Ultra race I have just been support crew on!

It's to the tune of Abba's 'Dancing Queen'


It's cold outside and there's ice and snow
But they've got three fifty odd miles to go
They'll be dragging their sleds, wearing thermal things
They'll be close to free…eezing
It's madness of the extreme kind
You could get frost bite on your behind
With temperatures that low, you could lose your mind
You're in no mood for a dance
And if you take a chance…

You could die out there, freeze to death in your underwear
Body freeze, feel the heat from your body flee – oh yeah
You can't walk, you can't sleep, fighting to just stay alive
See that car, watch that steam, it's the hot choc machine

You take a drink, then you defrost
Then you get kicked back out into the frost
The support crew just leave you, alongside the road
And you know it's cold out there
And if you take a chance...

You could die out there, freeze to death in your underwear
Body freeze, feel the heat from your body flee – oh yeah
You can't walk, you can't sleep, fighting to just stay alive
See that car, watch that steam, it's the hot choc machine

just spotted these - excellent C!!

I've only just seen these too! I feel quite honored (I think?!) for having one dedicated to me! (even though I don't know how the original tune goes!!).

On Britain's got talent, new programme around June, there's 3 young girls (think they're called "attitude") who sing I wish I was a punk rocker with their own words, slagging of Cowell... amazingly they get through!!

Hmmmm...maybe next year I should give it a go...anyone interested in doing backing vocals? :wink2:

Ode to Chavs...by Stolen Wheels (Stealers Wheel - ' Stuck in the Middle With You')

Well I thought I might just go out one night,
Get dressed up in something sexy and white,
Didn't care if it made everyone stare,
They were jealous they didn't have such fab hair,
Curlers to the left of me,
Tongs to the right, there I was,
Getting dolled up for a screw.

Yes I was getting dolled up for a screw,
Just hoping that he'd be called Wayne or Stu,
It was fun as I got off of our face,
Then I started chucking up on my plate,
Carrot to the left of me, Tomatoes to the right,
There I was, Puking up lots of spew.

Well he told me it meant nothing,
When he took me on his new devan,
On the carpet I was crawlin,
He slapped my butt and said,
Please.... Please.....

Now baby Tyler has come to be born,
I said his father is a loser that's all,
He left me lying on the cold toilet floor,
Alongside used condoms, vomit and what's more,
Now that he's left of me, I'm standing for my rights,
Here I am, claiming lots of benefits to.

Well I started out with nothing,
Now I have Sky TV and a brand new flat,
All my friends are all saying ,
Jammie cow what's his dad's name,
Please.... Please.....

Well I think I might just go out tonight,
Need more child support so I've got to plan right,
Need to wear lose fitting underwear,
Don't want to make it to hard for him to get way down there,
Chavs to the left of me,
Losers to the right, here I am,
I'm screwing the system it's true,
But that's just what us chavs do,
We party and then we just screw.

To the tune of: I heard it through the grape vine..this is dedicated to all you bottle blondes out there:

Ooh, I bet you're wondering what to do
Now you've gone and turned your hair bright blue
With some new dye you've never used before
Should've stayed with the colour
That you had before
It must have bl…own your mind away
When blue replaced the grey
Don't you know that...

(Chorus:)
They make it out of French wine
Not the good stuff but the cheap kind
Oh yeah and entrails of a dead swine
Oh and mixed with carp to make it bind
Very smelly yeah...

No I know that you're wondering why,
Would they put this stuff inside a dye
Well it's cheap and nasty you see,
Cost allot to you and me
Should have gone to another shelf
Or just asked someone else.
Cos they…

(Chorus)

People will laugh at you now you see,
Your hair is worth mockery
Your ego is badly bruised
Laughter just to hard to hear
Do you plan to shave your head
Or wear a paper bag on top instead
Cos they…

(Chorus)